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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #30 on: June 13, 2011, 02:03:33 PM »
^ Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha brilliant!  What is youth if you're not sick in someone's hand after too many vodkas?!


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #31 on: June 13, 2011, 02:06:42 PM »
I have a few horror stories, but these are the two that stand out the most for me.

My freshman year of college a friend sets me up with his "big brother" (basically, an upper classman who was assigned by the school to show my friend the ropes around school - all done on a voluntary basis).  Tells me how great this guy is, etc, etc, etc.  i am 5'1", this guy was about 6', which wouldn't be a problem normally, and will be important later.  We go to a local pizza place, get some food and then my date proceeds to watch the tv.  It had on one of those MTV type shows that basically are focused on sex and more sex.  It was very much aimed at the male demographic and not something I ever liked to watch.  So, that was not good.  While we were eating, it started to rain.  Knowing that I was done with this date, I said something about catching the bus back to the dorm since we were close to his dorm and across campus from my dorm, and I didn't want him to get wet (yes, I pretended to care about that when all I wanted to do was get away from him).  But he insisted on walking me, and since we were so close to his dorm he'd run inside and get an umbrella.  Remember the height difference I mentioned?  Well, he stayed dry while I got soaked.  And to make the whole thing even better, he spent the whole walk telling me how awful feminists are and how much he hates them, and calling them feminazis.  I was too young, and didn't realize I should have just jumped on the bus and been done with him.  Which leads to my next example:

I was now out of school and living on my own.  Once again, this was a set-up (I know, you'd think I'd have learned but since I met my dh through a set-up, I can honestly say they are not all bad).  The friend who set us up gave him my address (which she got lectured about later), so he insisted on picking me up since the restaurant we were going to was so close to my house.  Fine, he picked me up.  Because this restaurant was so close to my house I'd been there many times, and pretty much knew what I liked on the menu and what I didn't like. We get there and are seated.  He insists that the waitress take our drink order while we review the menu and then insists that I must have a diet coke.  I hate diet coke; the stuff tastes vile to me and I'd much rather drink water.  But he kept insisting that I was being silly and it was okay for me to have the diet coke, he didn't mind paying for it.  The poor waitress ended up bringing me both a glass of water and a glass of diet coke (she also rolled her eyes at me during the whole thing so she was pretty cool).  The kicker came, though, when it came time to order.  As I said, I was very familiar with this restaurant and knew what I liked and didn't like, so I knew what I wanted to order before we'd even arrived at the restaurant.  The waitress comes to take our order, he orders his food and then proceeds to order for me, all without even asking me what i wanted!   :o  My attempts to change the order were over-ridden by him, so I excused myself, and left the restaurant after stopping by the cashier's desk to pay the bill (figured I was the one walking out on him, the least I could do was pay the bill).  I then proceeded to walk home.
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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #32 on: June 13, 2011, 02:57:48 PM »
My first date ever - I was 13 years old, in grade eight. Where I lived, everyone went to a small elementary school for kindergarten through grade eight, then moved on to the big high school for grades 9-13. My best friend was seeing a boy in grade nine. Being in elementary school and going out with a high school boy seemed pretty cool and gave girls a certain cachet (even though our crowd was pretty innocent - "going out" meant going to school dances together, walking to and from school, and maybe some kissing). I asked my best friend if her boyfriend could fix me up. He had a friend that wanted to meet me, and we agreed to meet at a local park one afternoon.

My date was wearing trackpants, and as we sat and talked in the park it became obvious that he was, uh, extremely "excited" to meet me, if you catch my drift. We both pretended not to notice it, we chatted a while and he walked me home, and I told my friend that it didn't seem like a match.

In high school I asked a boy to the prom. We weren't especially friends, and weren't interested in each other romatically, we just each needed a date and agreed to go together. A few days later, he asked out another girl, one he was interested in! He told me he "forgot" that he had already agreed to go with me. ::) They went to the prom together, and I didn't go. His replacement date later told me that I was lucky, he got super-drunk and threw up everywhere and they had to leave early. She was really apologetic about the whole situation - she didn't know he had already agreed to go with me until several days after he asked her.

Also in high school, one of my boyfriends had an epiphany that yes, he was definitely g@y, while we were making out. Good for you, but ouch!

In my early 20's I was fixed up by some friends. My date took me out for dinner, and as we ordered drinks he told me that he only drinks tepid water with meals because cold drinks cause the fat in your food to congeal in your stomach. He had a whole theory about it and went on at length. I have no idea if this is true or not, but it was not exactly appetizing dinner conversation.

You'd think I'd be wary of the fix-up, considering my experiences, but I also met my husband on a blind date, so I think it evens out.


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #33 on: June 13, 2011, 03:39:34 PM »
I should write a book one day because of the sheer number of bad dates I've had.

A gem of a story was Wally (name changed to protect the clueless).  Wally invited me out to dinner on a Saturday night at 5:00 at a restaurant a couple miles from my house.  I arrived a wee bit early, because I don't like to be late.  After dinner, we were headed to the nearby multiplex to see something (I forget -- this was eight years ago). Well, 5 PM comes and 5 PM goes. 5:10 comes and goes.  5:20 comes and goes.  Cell phones exist at this time, but I don't have one.  He did, though.  If he were late, he could have called the waitress.  Finally, at 5:30, I give up.  I'm hungry and don't have anything planned for dinner.  So, I ask the hostess for a seat at the bar.  I get a beer and order the burger I've been craving.  At 6:15, Wally arrives.  Yes, I typed 6:15.  What sane woman would still be at the restaurant?  Well, he saw me and headed to my table.  He wasn't hungry though.  See, he'd visited his parents that afternoon and decided to go to Saturday evening mass with them.  Then, his Mom fed him dinner.  I finish my meal and Wally paid.  We head to the movie theater, where we had missed the movie we were going to see.  Can you believe that he suggested going back to my place at that point?  

Another doozy was a very nice guy who had no people skills.  Sam was a computer programmer and since I work in IT, we were matched up by a horrible local introduction company about which I can't say enough horrible things.  The 'matchmaker' thought we'd be perfect together.  Well, Sam was a gentleman, but his topics of conversation were limited.  He could converse brilliantly about coding (not my thing), classic 1980s video games (and had a vanity plate advertising his skill in that regard) and table tennis.  I tried to bring up the weather, as I don't code or play video games, but that was disastrous.  I learned a lot about ping-pong during that meal.

Of course, I also have an ex-fiancee that called off the wedding to become a priest, broke up with a long term boyfriend while on vacation, and read about a guy I dated on the news when he was being investigated by the FBI for conspiracy against the government.  I'm single.  It's safer.
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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #34 on: June 13, 2011, 03:49:19 PM »
Ok, I was just divorced, just back from Iraq, and at a military training school for four months. Perhaps not the best situation in which to date someone, but, hey, it had been a long time, I wasn't looking for anything serious, and it was something to do on the weekends, right?

Anyway, I met this guy (friend of a friend) at the chow hall (too many Army relationship stories start this way...) and we hit it off. He was cute, we had a similar military background, he was also divorced with kids, so when he asked me out for dinner and a movie that weekend I thought, what the heck.

Well, he showed up and had obviously been drinking. And driving. ON POST! He wasn't falling over or anything, so I gave him a little lecture, took over driving, and off we went. We went to dinner, and, once again, he was funny, and charming and sweet, although he did seem to drink quite a bit. I drove, again, and we headed for the movie theater. On the way there, he tossed trash out the window of the car. Now, it was his car and all, but I was the one driving, and hate littering, so I said "Hey, don't do that!!" No sooner do I say that then police lights flash in the rear view...

So I pull over. And he freaks out, tells me to gun it, that we can outrun the cop, what am I crazy why I am pulling over!! Umm, dude, not gonna put my paramedic license (and my life) on the line because you want to avoid a ticket for littering.

As the cop walks up, the guy is telling me "Just let me do the talking ok?" No problem. It's his car, and he was the one littering. Well, cop starts with the whole routine, I give him my license and he asks for registration and the guy says nothing. I look at him and ask for the registration and he says "How am I supposed to know where you put it?" I said "It's your car!" Then the guy puts his arm around me leans over towards the officer and says "Sorry officer, little husband/wife spat, can you give us a moment?" At this point I turn my back to they guy, and tell the officer everything. The officer then asks him for his license and walks back to his car.

The guy again starts on the "Run, gun it, we can get away!!" I said no. So then he says "Well, can we make out while we are waiting for him to get back?" Umm, no, and you must be drunker than I thought to ever think of that.

 Another cop car pulls up behind the first one, and I start to think this is not going to be a ticket for littering. The officer comes back, and informs the guy that he has three warrents out for his arrest. We need to step out of the car so they can search it. So the guy goes into handcuffs, the whole time trying to convince me to come over and kiss him. The stuff him in the back of the cop car, and as they are closing the door he is asking the officer if I can come sit back there with him so that we can make out. The cops are laughing, and I wish I could have seen the look on my face the whole time.

One of the cops drove me back to my barracks. I left the guys car to get towed. As I was climbing out of the police car, the officer said "Hey?" I looked back. He said "Look, you seem like a really smart, grounded woman. You can do so much better than him." I just looked at him and said "Don't I know it."
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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #35 on: June 13, 2011, 03:53:19 PM »
My very first date was with a guy I had a like/dislike relationship with. We went to see "The Deer Hunter."

After we got in his truck to leave, he leaned over the wheel with his head on his hands for a moment, then said, "You know, I really identified with that movie."

We were both 15.

ETA: No wonder I turned lesbian....
« Last Edit: June 13, 2011, 04:08:55 PM by Ms_Cellany »
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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #36 on: June 13, 2011, 04:06:42 PM »
I had some really, ahem fun dates before I met Mr. Sirius.  One in particular was a divorced man who had come to my parents' home to fix their refrigerator.  He had seen the pictures of us siblings in our high school-graduate best hanging on the living room wall, and he expressed an interest in meeting my sister.  My mother told him my sister was married, then asked if he would be interested in meeting me.  I was 27 or so at the time.  He was, and Mom set it up.  We were to meet at a restaurant a short distance from my parents' house.

What Mom didn't tell me was that this guy was 5 feet tall, and I could see right over the top of his bald head.  Neither of those characteristics were an immediate deal breaker...what was the deal breaker was that he was looking for a women for, um, s#x.  That was all.  He wasn't interested in dinner, long walks on the shore or in the woods, or any of the standard "date" type things; he just wanted s#x and I wasn't giving.  

We had one more date, which terminated when I asked him to leave my home and not return.  


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #37 on: June 13, 2011, 04:20:43 PM »
Oh, Auntie Venom - I'm having so much fun with these!

I have two worst date stories.

First was an ex-fiance.  He asked me out for Valentine's Day, which happened to fall on a Friday that year.  So, basically the whole world was going to be out on a date that night.  This was supposed to be a reconciliation kind of thing to see if we could get back together and he had BEGGED me to give him a chance to show how romantic he could be.  He called 2 weeks before to see if we were still on.  Yep.  Okay, he's going to make reservations at a fabulous restaurant and then we'll go see any movie in the world and maybe go for drinks after.  Calls the day before to see if we're still on.  Yep.  Okay, he's going to make reservations at a fabulous restaurant...  Um...  I said that I don't think he's going to be able to get reservations for any normal time and I had a babysitter from 6:00 to midnight like we had discussed.  Well, he didn't think that I was actually going to go through with it so he didn't make reservations but don't worry, he'll figure something out.  He comes to pick me up the next night and he has a bouquet of red mini-carnations.  Which I sort of hate.  Hands them to me and says "I know that you prefer roses and you really don't like mini-carnations, but the roses were really expensive and I just couldn't justify spending that kind of money on you if we aren't going to date, so I got you something affordable."  (Should have cancelled right there, but I had a BABYSITTER and an evening out planned.  Dumb EG.)  Then he says that he couldn't reserve anything so he thought we should go out for pizza.  I remind him that I'm allergic to tomatoes so that's not really going to work and he says that just this once, I can eat a pizza.  Nope.  He suggests Chinese food, and I agree and offer two restaurants that I really like.  One he says is too expensive and the other is booked.  We drive around and around because it turns out that pizza was his only suggestion and I'm not in the mood to spend my night struggling to breathe in the ER.  He finally suggests going to a bar and getting a drink and maybe some bar food.  Okay, there are a BUNCH of bars in the area and most of them have fairly good food, so I'm pleased and suggest several of those.  Except that he insists on the one bar in the neighborhood that doesn't serve hot food.  They have cold plates with deli meats (which I don't eat) and cheese (but I'm lactose-intolerant).  In point of fact, this is a discussion that we've had several times while we were dating previously but he decided that since this was a SPECIAL date, I'd be willing to eat the cheese plate.  Since at this point in the evening, I'm hungry enough to eat the actual plate, I decide that he can deal with the unpleasant result of cheese plate + lactose intolerance and we go in, get a drink and order the stupid cheese.  We also run into my roommate and his new girlfriend who are there getting a drink before going to a movie.  My date invites them to join us at the table and then at the movie later.  He produces a newspaper and we all start looking at what's available.  There's a new chick flick that I'd kind of like to see, so I suggest that.  Other Girl says she's interested, both guys nix it.  I say fine, I'm okay with anything but the new Clint Eastwood then since I hate and despise Clint.  They say "OH!  New Clint Eastwood!  Great!!!" and proceed to go next door and buy tickets.  I fell asleep during the movie - I can't even remember what it was but it was pretty bad.  We left, he suggested a drink, I said no, take me home.  So he did and then attempted to come in with me because he was owed s*e*x after paying for dinner, drinks and a movie!  Plus, he got me flowers, right?  Then he was completely baffled as to why I wouldn't resume the relationship.  Doofus.

(I realize that the above makes me sound hard to feed.  I'm not really.  My BF feeds me all the time and it's pretty simple.)

The other one is First Date From Hell.  I had known this guy for about 6 years at this point and we were fairly good friends.  We ran into each other at a bar one night and were lamenting our horrible dating lives and idly wondered why we'd never gone out since we liked each other, got along and had secret crushes on each other for years.  Brilliant idea!  We'll go out together!  We decided to meet at Bar #1 on a Saturday.  He showed up, things were going well, we were having fun and hanging out and I felt a hand on my back, which I thought was a little weird.  Especially when I realized that he had both hands on the bar. Then I noticed that the guy sitting next to me was a MARRIED friend of my roommate who had a huge crush on me and had been asking me out for a year because he's in an open marriage and his wife won't mind.  It was his hand.  I move so his hand is not on my back anymore and resume the conversation.  Now there's a hand on my waist.  Date notices this and swings my stool around so I'm facing him and have my back to Annoying Guy #1. This causes the hand to fall off again.  AG#1 grabs my behind.  Date leans over and says "I'm going to the bathroom.  Handle this while I'm gone or I'm going to handle it when I get back."  Which I actually thought was kind of a cool way to deal.  So he left and I turn around and demand to know what's going on.  AG#1 says that he doesn't think I should be out with Date since he has dibs, he's been asking me out way longer.   ???  I wasn't actually aware that dating ran on the dibs system.  I explain that I'm never, ever dating a married man and I'm happy on my date and please don't interfere.  AG#1 apologizes and says he thought this was a random pickup and he didn't realize it was an actual date, so sorry.  Date returns from the bathroom livid because apparently AG#1's wife had accosted him on his way back, slid her hand into his khakis and made him an indecent proposal based on the theory that they could go out and have a good time and I could leave the bar with her husband.  Date was under the impression that I was okay with this.  As I'm explaining that I have no idea how people can be so delusional, a hand appears on my breast.  Date looks at me and then at AG#1's hand and says "I can't deal with this.  We need to find someplace else to be."

So we move to Bar #2.  We walk in and order a drink and AG#2 walks up and starts hitting on me.  He actually knows both me and Date but I guess he assumed we were there as friends.  When he asks what I've been up to, I say "Oh, Date and I just spent the day moving him into my house.  We've decided to live together!  We're out celebrating tonight."  Date gives me a kiss and a smile.  AG#2 gives me a HUGE smile and says how happy he is for us and we should come to his place and celebrate together by partaking in some illegal smoking and a threesome.  Then he grabs my breast.   :o  Date's smile drops and he looks at me and says "Your life is entirely too weird and I need to go home now."  Yeah, I can actually sort of see that.

He goes home and I go home and then I start thinking about it and I can't see how I actually could have either a) predicted any of that - I mean...  seriously, who can predict that level of weirdness? or b) avoided it.  I got myself all worked up about how it Wasn't My Fault.  So I decided to go to Bar #3, where Date worked as a bartender, knowing that he was safely at home and I could hang out with my friends since there was a band playing that I liked.  Get there and everyone is giving me the Evil Eye and I realize that Date has not, in fact, gone home.  He's there.  He's been complaining about the night.  Okay, I slink into a bar stool and have a drink, thinking I'll drink it for pride then speed on home.  While I'm sitting there, Annoying Guy #3 comes over to tell me how he's seen me at the bar before when the band is there and he's always wanted to talk to me but never had the courage and he promised himself that he'd talk to me the next time he would introduce himself and it's just so important the he get to know me because he knows that we're destined for each other.  And as he's talking, he has grabbed my shoulders to shake me for emphasis.  And his hands have slipped down so now he's basically grabbing my breasts.  And Date comes around the corner to apologize for leaving me earlier and see if we can somehow salvage the evening.  Sees someone else with their hands in my general chest area, says "Yeah, that FIGURES" and stomps off.  

We ended up on another first date about 8 years later and it went marginally better.  We figured we had nowhere to go but up from First First Date.  Although BF's version of this story makes it sound much more like this was my fault for knowing these people at all.  


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #38 on: June 13, 2011, 04:23:51 PM »
oh, I've been debating whether or not I should tell on myself...

Okay, here goes. Please don't judge me too harshly!

It's my 21st birthday. I wanted to go out and party, because you know-you can't celebrate your 21st without getting bombed, right? ::)

So I was still friends with a former boyfriend, and although our relationship ended a couple of years earlier, we still hung out together. We decided to go hit the town to celebrate. He also mentioned that he had a friend he thought I might like and suggested bringing him along. The more the merrier, I thought, so off we went.

Being my 21st, it turns out that my money was no good. If EXBF or Friend weren't buying me drinks, the bartenders were giving them to me for free. Now, I won't say that I'd never had hard liquor before, but I was definitely not used to the quantity of vodka I drank. But, I'm getting ahead of myself...

So anyway, we start our evening and everything seems fine. Friend seems like a nice guy and we hit it off right away. Much fun is had, and everything is lovely. Then Friend lets it slip that he's married. :o  He's been flirting with me all night, talking about going out one-on-one sometime, etc. Of course, I am horrified that this married guy and I had been flirting---ugh. 

Well, that put the kibosh on the evening. The three of us get into EXBF's car and head toward home. I'm pretty angry and pretty drunk. I see movement out of the corner of my eye. Friend (seated in the backseat) is reaching between the two front seats, attempting to grab my breast!!!

What happens next is not pretty. Right about then all that vodka is making itself known.  :-X :-X :-X. I'm trying to keep it together and EXBF is trying to find somewhere to pull over, but it's too late. I realize it's going to happen now, all the while Friend is stiil trying to cop a feel. Without thinking, I grabbed his hand to pull it away from my breast--and threw up in it. :-X :-X :-X

This was definitely not my proudest moment. At least Friend stopped hitting on me after that...

And as for EXBF? Well, he was stupid enough to try to set me up with a married guy (turns out he had split from his wife something like two or three days before all this happened), so his penance was having to clean out his car.

I wasn't off the hook though. That was when I learned about hangovers. :-\

I can't believe I'm telling on myself here...I generally do not go around telling that story. Again, please don't judge me too harshly! I'm blaming youth and stupidity on that one!

Sounds like some excellent instant karma for Married Guy to me!


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #39 on: June 13, 2011, 04:40:07 PM »
eclecticgrrl--I'm just baffled that your date could criticize *you* because guys kept s*xually harrassing you. How on earth is that your fault? I wanted to slap every person in that story but you.  >:(


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #40 on: June 13, 2011, 04:57:12 PM »
eclecticgrrl--I'm just baffled that your date could criticize *you* because guys kept s*xually harrassing you. How on earth is that your fault? I wanted to slap every person in that story but you.  >:(

Now see???  This is MY point and one that I'm happy to make to BF every time we end telling that story!  He was clearly not understanding that I didn't ask these people to be jerks.  I'm glad that someone else sees that too.


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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #41 on: June 13, 2011, 05:00:59 PM »
^ Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha brilliant!  What is youth if you're not sick in someone's hand after too many vodkas?!

He deserved it!
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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #42 on: June 13, 2011, 05:43:59 PM »
I forgot to include the one where I was the worst date ever!  -- Warning contains tummy ailments--

I was on a second date with a nice, normal guy.  We were going to Newport, RI for a day trip to tour the mansions.  I still remember the weather -- blazing hot and sunny. I liberally applied sunscreen once.  I'm a redhead.  Proceeded to get lobster red, but that's not the worst part.  We grabbed a quick lunch at a sandwich shop and I had a grilled cheese.  We went to another mansion after lunch, but the heat and the sun and oddly my tummy were all causing me issue.  Well, we agreed to head back to Massachusetts for a light dinner instead of seafood in Newport.  As we are leaving, I remember saying 'Paul, I don't feel well, can we stop?' right before vomiting.  There was something seriously wrong with that grilled cheese.  I threw up all over myself, my cute sundress, my purse, and Paul's car.  We were still two hours away from my house.  Blech.  We didn't work out as a couple, but remain friends to this day.  In fact, I went to his wedding.
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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #43 on: June 13, 2011, 06:13:48 PM »
Also in high school, one of my boyfriends had an epiphany that yes, he was definitely g@y, while we were making out. Good for you, but ouch!

Ding ding ding - we have a winner!

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Re: Worst Date Ever.....
« Reply #44 on: June 13, 2011, 06:17:20 PM »
The worst for me has to be the date I didn't realise I was on.

Picture if you will the scene.  I was fairly young, just out of university and on one of my early solo holidays.  I'd gone to Venice on my own and was having a great time.  I found in my guidebook a well regarded restaurant but unfortunately it wasn't open when it said it was with a small sign in the window saying that it would be open in 10 minutes.  As I was waiting a man comes up and starts talking to me, let's call him Luigi.  We chat a bit.  I was fairly friendly and didn't think anything of this as it often happened when I was travelling alone.  So when the restaurant opened Luigi asked if he could join me for dinner as he was on his own too.  I wasn't hugely keen but I was rather a doormat then and didn't have the backbone to say that I'd prefer to eat alone.  

We have dinner and the conversation is fairly dull.  His English wasn't fantastic and Luigi seemed to think that sitting there and paying me extravagent compliments was adequate conversation.  I was struggling to find any common ground for discussion as we appeared to have nothing in common.  I liked books, classical music and thought sport was boring, his only interest was football and he didn't read anything.   I was, by the end of dinner, bored out of my gourd.  

I paid my share of the bill and got up to go.  He said he'd walk me to the vaporetto (water bus) stop.  Whereupon as soon as we got out of the restaurant he leapt on me and tried to put his tongue down my throat.  I pulled away and said I wanted to go now.  He said again he'd walk me to the bus stop.  As I say I was fairly reluctant to argue back so we set off to the vaporetto.  He then said he lived nearby and tried to drag me down a sidestreet to his flat, inserting his hand into my cleavage at every opportunity.

Again I pulled away, didn't know what to say (apart from anything he seemed really confused that I wasn't enjoying this).  I could not seem to communicate to him that the fact we'd sat together at dinner didn't mean he was getting to play scrabble.  He tried to kiss me again, I pushed him away, ran and jumped on the nearest vaporetto (which wasn't going my way).

I have to say that the experience taught me to be a lot more assertive with men, and much clearer as to what my expectations and wishes were.  That said it's much funnier in restrospect than it was at the time.  
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.

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