Author Topic: I need jokes!  (Read 8826 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #75 on: September 22, 2011, 11:26:52 PM »
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them!

I don't get it  :-[
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VorFemme

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #76 on: September 23, 2011, 10:43:08 AM »
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them!

I don't get it  :-[

The sunglasses were their disguise - neither the paparazzi nor Tarzan recognized them............and they were probably hiding from the poachers.

I just had to explain the Monkee's song joke to my mother the other day.............she thought that there must have been a photo dropped out of the email.............

I *thought* that they watched tv with us - just apparently NOT the Monkees!
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Mental Magpie

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #77 on: September 23, 2011, 10:54:03 AM »
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them!

I don't get it  :-[

The sunglasses were their disguise - neither the paparazzi nor Tarzan recognized them............and they were probably hiding from the poachers.

I just had to explain the Monkee's song joke to my mother the other day.............she thought that there must have been a photo dropped out of the email.............

I *thought* that they watched tv with us - just apparently NOT the Monkees!

I understand that the sunglasses are a disguise and like in many children's shows, it's ridiculous to think a pair of sunglasses would change anything, but I don't get why it's funny :/  Am I missing a reference to something else?
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Tilt Fairy

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #78 on: September 23, 2011, 01:12:14 PM »
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them!

I don't get it  :-[

The sunglasses were their disguise - neither the paparazzi nor Tarzan recognized them............and they were probably hiding from the poachers.

I just had to explain the Monkee's song joke to my mother the other day.............she thought that there must have been a photo dropped out of the email.............

I *thought* that they watched tv with us - just apparently NOT the Monkees!

I understand that the sunglasses are a disguise and like in many children's shows, it's ridiculous to think a pair of sunglasses would change anything, but I don't get why it's funny :/  Am I missing a reference to something else?

I concur. I am totally lost with this joke. I must be missing something. Why is the paparazzi or poachers involved in the joke?

Ms_Cellany

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #79 on: September 23, 2011, 01:28:09 PM »
What did the fish say when it ran into a concrete wall?

"Dam!"
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glacio

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #80 on: September 23, 2011, 02:42:04 PM »
How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Open the door and put him in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, take out the elephant, and put in the giraffe.

The lion king called a meeting for all the animal kingdom. Who was not there?
The giraffe, he's still in the fridge.

You come to a river that has a sign saying "Warning: Crocodiles". How do you get across?
Swim, all the crocodiles are at the meeting.



Hehehe.

Hollanda

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #81 on: September 23, 2011, 03:20:26 PM »
How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Open the door and put him in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, take out the elephant, and put in the giraffe.

The lion king called a meeting for all the animal kingdom. Who was not there?
The giraffe, he's still in the fridge.

You come to a river that has a sign saying "Warning: Crocodiles". How do you get across?
Swim, all the crocodiles are at the meeting.



Hehehe.

Now that just made me laugh. :D I love a proper giggle. :D Stolen and posted to Facebook LOL!!!
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CG

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #82 on: September 23, 2011, 04:57:50 PM »
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.  After a good meal and a bottle of red, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. 

Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, "Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see."  Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."  Sherlock said, "And what does that tell you?"

After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.  Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.  Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning.  Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.  Metereologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day today.  What does it tell you?" 

Holmes was silent for about 30 seconds and said, "Watson, you idiot!  Someone has stolen our tent!"

CG

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #83 on: September 23, 2011, 04:58:56 PM »
What kind of murderer has moral fiber?

A cereal killer.

VorFemme

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #84 on: September 24, 2011, 07:06:57 PM »
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them!

I don't get it  :-[

The sunglasses were their disguise - neither the paparazzi nor Tarzan recognized them............and they were probably hiding from the poachers.

I just had to explain the Monkee's song joke to my mother the other day.............she thought that there must have been a photo dropped out of the email.............

I *thought* that they watched tv with us - just apparently NOT the Monkees!

I understand that the sunglasses are a disguise and like in many children's shows, it's ridiculous to think a pair of sunglasses would change anything, but I don't get why it's funny :/  Am I missing a reference to something else?

I concur. I am totally lost with this joke. I must be missing something. Why is the paparazzi or poachers involved in the joke?

It's a simple joke for children - ONLY children think that a pair of sunglasses make you unrecognizeable.  I'm afraid that I got sidetracked into a little digression............

Unless you're famous and trying to avoid the paparazzi.........they tend to wear BIG sunglasses.  The only thing that elephants would want to avoid (that I could think of) would be poachers..........
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Mental Magpie

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #85 on: September 24, 2011, 07:48:28 PM »
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?

"Here come the elephants!"

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing sunglasses?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them!

I don't get it  :-[

The sunglasses were their disguise - neither the paparazzi nor Tarzan recognized them............and they were probably hiding from the poachers.

I just had to explain the Monkee's song joke to my mother the other day.............she thought that there must have been a photo dropped out of the email.............

I *thought* that they watched tv with us - just apparently NOT the Monkees!

I understand that the sunglasses are a disguise and like in many children's shows, it's ridiculous to think a pair of sunglasses would change anything, but I don't get why it's funny :/  Am I missing a reference to something else?

I concur. I am totally lost with this joke. I must be missing something. Why is the paparazzi or poachers involved in the joke?

It's a simple joke for children - ONLY children think that a pair of sunglasses make you unrecognizeable.  I'm afraid that I got sidetracked into a little digression............

Unless you're famous and trying to avoid the paparazzi.........they tend to wear BIG sunglasses.  The only thing that elephants would want to avoid (that I could think of) would be poachers..........

Ah, I see; I was afraid I was missing something.  Thank you for clearing up the confusion.

FTR, I got the Monkees joke, and I wasn't even born when they were on TV.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Tierrainney

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #86 on: September 24, 2011, 07:54:29 PM »
Q:  How do you shoot a Blue Elephant?
A:  With a blue elephant gun.

Q:  How do you shoot a Red Elephant ?
A:  With a Red elephant gun?

 No! Hold his nose until he turns blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Bonus joke:
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A:  You don't get down from an elephant, you get down from a duck.
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Tierrainney

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #87 on: September 24, 2011, 07:56:56 PM »
I thought of some more:

Q: How do you catch a unique animal?
A:  Unique up on him. 

Q: how do you catch a tame animal?
A: The tame way, unique up on him.
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Lisbeth

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #88 on: September 25, 2011, 01:05:10 PM »
What do ducks do when they fly upside down?  They quack up.

How do you keep fish from smelling?  Cut off their noses.

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Ms_Cellany

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Re: I need jokes!
« Reply #89 on: September 25, 2011, 04:27:23 PM »
Monty Python's world's deadliest joke:

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhmnOpoGAPw
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