Messing with your recipes -- Tell your stories

[Ms_Cellany]

*Puss-n-Boots eyes*

[O'Dell]

Right.  It comes off as "Vorfemme didn't want to give up her secret recipe, so she selfishly gave me the wrong one."

Even admitting that you didn't follow the recipe makes it sound like the people who write reviews on cooking sites: "Well, I didn't have any half-and-half, so I used skim milk, and nobody in my house likes lemon, so I left out the lemon juice, and it was the worst thing I've ever made!"

I love reading those reviews, for just that reason!  I can't decide which is funnier, the type that go "I substituted olive oil for butter and chicken for lamb and oregano for fennel and rice for pasta, and it was awful!" or the ones that go "I made major changes to this recipe, by substituting large elbow macaroni for small and using 16 extra grains of salt, and it was much better that way."

The reviews that trip me out are the ones that are 5 stars then notes all sorts of substitutions/omissions/additions. How can they recommend it when they don't seem to have made it?

I've never had a problem with people taking my recipes and making them themselves. I have a bigger problem with people that *won't* take the recipe as they claim they can't cook/bake and then expect me to make it for them on demand.  

[Merry Mrs Martin]

"What on earth did you do to the brownies?!"  I took a cautious nibble of his brownies.  Oh my stars!  I said "well, there's shortening instead of butter, sweetened condensed milk instead of cream, I *think* this is a mixture of chocolate chips and carob chips instead of the usual chocolate mixture and I have no idea where the coconut came from.  I didn't make them."

I so wish I could do that, I can tell something is different but not why most times.   I will experiment with other recipes but not baking baking is chemistry you can't do out of order , miss , change or anything. 

[missmolly]

My mum is the classic recipe messer - to the point where her sisters have dubbed her Mrs Cropley. There's nothing wrong with experimenting in cooking, but whenever mum tries it, things never seem to work out.

I've been making my chicken cacciatore for years, and have had many recipe requests. My special ingredient is marsala wine at the end of the cooking, which adds a subtle sweetness to the dish. When mum made it once she didn't have any marsala, so instead of just a bit of wine or sherry, which would have worked fine, she added Galliano to the mix, because in her words, "Might as well have something Italian in there". It was revolting!

 

Galliano?  Really?

I have no words.  I am reduced making disgusting noises in the corner.

Yep, Galliano. I'd got home from a long camp and mum 'surprised' me, in more ways than one with this dish.

[Mikayla]

Right.  It comes off as "Vorfemme didn't want to give up her secret recipe, so she selfishly gave me the wrong one."

Even admitting that you didn't follow the recipe makes it sound like the people who write reviews on cooking sites: "Well, I didn't have any half-and-half, so I used skim milk, and nobody in my house likes lemon, so I left out the lemon juice, and it was the worst thing I've ever made!"

I love reading those reviews, for just that reason!  I can't decide which is funnier, the type that go "I substituted olive oil for butter and chicken for lamb and oregano for fennel and rice for pasta, and it was awful!" or the ones that go "I made major changes to this recipe, by substituting large elbow macaroni for small and using 16 extra grains of salt, and it was much better that way."

The reviews that trip me out are the ones that are 5 stars then notes all sorts of substitutions/omissions/additions. How can they recommend it when they don't seem to have made it?

I've never had a problem with people taking my recipes and making them themselves. I have a bigger problem with people that *won't* take the recipe as they claim they can't cook/bake and then expect me to make it for them on demand.  

It's even worse when the original recipe says something like "use 1/2 cup of chicken broth, white wine, red wine or milk".     Can't someone just tell me what to use?

The other distinction we should make, I'd think, is that I don't care if I take a recipe out of a cookbook, make it and then someone wants to have that recipe.  The ones that bug me are where I've spent a lot of time perfecting it and then someone makes some garish substitution and serves it, and the guests all mutter that *my* recipe wasn't that good.  Waaaah.  Yes it was!

[supernova]

I'm trying to find a copy of a funny poem about this...  it's in one of my zillions of cookbooks.  Lemme see if I can locate it...

Edited:  Found it! 

This was printed in a spiral-bound cookbook that my family's church put out.  It says "Author unknown," but I'll try to find an attribution if there is one.  Here goes:

I didn't have potatoes
So I substituted rice
I didn't have paprika
So I used another spice
I didn't have tomato sauce
I used tomato paste
The whole can, not a half can
As I don't believe in waste
A friend gave me the recipe
She said you couldn't beat it
There must be something wrong with HER
I couldn't even eat it!

[Elfmama]

I once added pepper to my mother's home-made banana jam.  In my defense I was 18 months old, desperate to "help" (as toddlers often are) and I was left alone with the jam and the pepper pot.  Fortunately Elfmama caught me before I stirred it.

And fortunately it was pepper and not salt, which *I* would have stirred in, not realizing it was there.

You would have been the loser, though, dearest.  The banana jam went to flavor and sweeten the homemade yogurt that you loved so much.

[Elfmama]

I warn all of you now that my gramma takes recipes from books and such and sends them into the recipe magazines as her own.  She will take a receipe, change some ingredient units slightly and submit them as her own- Without even trying them first.

She asked me what was in something of mine and I told her- she then said she was going to send it into the magazine that was looking for 5 or fewer ingredients.  I told her it belonged to Cuisinart and she said that it doesn't matter. Sigh.  I usually avoid giving her my recipes because I don't like her taking my recipes and passing them along as her own, but she tricked me this time.

A list of ingredients cannot be copyrighted.  What is copyrighted is the text of the instructions.  So while it's unethical to submit someone else's recipe as yours, as  long as you've rewritten the instructions it is legal insofar as copyright is concerned.  (I make no claim or otherwise what the contest/magazine may think of it.)

[MakeMineRed]

I have a recipe for French bread.  It is heavenly.  I've given to several people and even submitted it for a charity cookbook.  However, one family member made it and couldn't figure out why his wasn't as good as mine.  He didn't tamper with the ingredients but decided the dough didn't need to be kneaded, or rise, so he just threw it in the pan then into the oven.

[tnpenguinbaby]

*Puss-n-Boots eyes*

Y'all are a mess  

I'm mulling it over....okay!

PMS Brownies or The Brownies That Will Cure Anything

    1 pound butter
    8 oz German chocolate
    8 oz milk chocolate
    6 oz semisweet chocolate (can use chips in a pinch)
    6 ounces dark chocolate (the darker the better)
    6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
    6 jumbo eggs
    3 tablespoons instant coffee granules
    1/4 cup heavy cream
    2 tablespoons pure vanilla extract
    2 1/4 cups sugar
    1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
    1 tablespoon baking powder
    1 teaspoon salt
    3 cups chopped pecans (I usually mix half and half with hazelnuts if I can find them.  Macadamias are to die for too!)

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Butter and flour a 11 x 17 x 1-inch baking sheet. (or just use a jellyroll pan)  Line the pan with parchment paper and spray the paper with cooking spray.

Grate all the chocolates (they will melt better this way)  Put the butter, all chocolate except the chips and the cream in a double boiler and melt everyone together.  Allow to cool slightly. In a large bowl, stir (do not beat) together the eggs, coffee granules, vanilla, and sugar. Stir the warm chocolate mixture into the egg mixture and allow to cool to room temperature.

Meanwhile, in another bowl, mix together 1 cup of flour, the baking powder, and salt. Add to the cooled chocolate mixture. Toss the walnuts and 6 ounces of chocolate chips in a medium bowl with 1/4 cup of flour, then add them to the chocolate batter. (Here I sometimes add a cup or more of diced up dried tart cherries.)  Pour into the baking sheet.

Bake for 35 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean.  Allow to cool thoroughly, refrigerate, and cut.

[Bob Ducca]

That brownie recipe looks delicious enough to be mildly radioactive.

My story: my husband is known locally for some of his cooking.  My family particularly loves his potato salad.  It is far more savory than sweet and the real secret is to not overcook the potatoes, combine everything, and let it sit and chill for at least 6 hours before serving.  Not difficult, but it requires planning.

A relative announced that he would be serving DH's potato salad at a family dinner.  Apparently, though, he couldn't be bothered to make it in advance and started the potatoes cooking about an hour before dinner was to be served.  By the time we got there he had made mashed potatoes with mustard, since he didn't want to put in the eggs.  At the last minute he threw in some hamburger dill pickle slices.  We were polite, but DH said something like, "It's not bad, but I can't take any credit for this.  This is all yours."

[Elfmama]

The best brownies EVER
    3 tablespoons instant coffee granules

Given the subject line of the thread... can we leave out the coffee?

[MerryCat]

tnpenguinbaby, I'm not sure what you're on. I just made this and they were awful. Ofcourse, I replaced the cream with half and half, the flour with whole wheat, the butter with margarine, the eggs with white only... 

Seriuosly though, it looks like it's going to be awesome. I can't wait to try it!

[tnpenguinbaby]

you can leave out the coffee, but I would then probably sprinkle the tops with some sea salt.  They need something to balance and bring out the chocolate flavor. 

Like they last long enough for anyone to notice the depth of the chocolate flavor.......

BTW, seeing as the chocolate was grated and the brownies are cut, all the calories fall out 

[Lindee]

One memorable summer in my youth I spent the college holidays working at a Caravan resort in Devon, England. We did everything, cleaning, bar and restaurant work and it also involved cooking for the owner, a lady with an enormous appetite. The elaborate deserts we made were just for her and we had tinned fruit cocktail for us but we were allowed to make something on our own time for the live in staff if we wished. One day I was making an apple sponge pudding for us as a treat and the owner came through the kitchen and told me I wasn't adding enough sugar. Overiding my protests with "We in the business know these things and adding sugar afterwards is never the same" she poured huge amounts of sugar into my mixing bowl. It turned out to be just too sugary to be edible by anyone other than her and she swooped in and scoffed the lot. I made sure to only cook for us when I was sure she wasn't around after that.