General Etiquette > Family and Children

I hope I wasn't rude to my friend!

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pblair38:
I had a trying day with my DS yesterday, to say the least.  I had to take the baby to the pedi (has bronchiolitis and an ear infection) and my older DS had to go with me.  He's 3.5 and very protective of his baby brother, to the point that he often tries to hurt the pedi when he's examining his brother (especially looking in little brother's ears, which elicits terrible screams).  The pedi isn't worried about the behavior - says it is normal and actually somewhat desired - would be worse if he didn't do it.  But I digress.  After DS was terribly behaved at the pedi's office, I wasn't exactly inclined to let him do anything fun, but my friend called and offered to take the kids (hers, and my oldest) to the park to sort of pay me back for watching her oldest.  We don't keep track of our "trades" exactly - it just all comes out in the wash.  :)

Anyway, after arriving home, my friend called to say that her youngest was still napping, but that she would call me when he woke up and would come get DS to go to the park.  I said that was fine.  Afterward, DS put on the worst display of "I'm not going to do what you tell me to do" that we've encountered in awhile, and he desperately needed a nap, so I called her and told her that he wouldn't be able to go. 

I *think* she was planning on taking her kids to the park anyway, but I felt bad, because her daughter (young 4) and my DS play together really well, which means that she can spend more time with her youngest at the park, because the older two keep each other company.  I just didn't see how I could "reward" DS with a trip to the park when he had been so obstinate.  Taking away privileges is the only thing DS really "gets", and getting to play with her DD is just the best privilege there is, as far as he is concerned. 

Was I rude to change the plans at the last minute?  I have no intention of cancelling watching her DD today - it was just that yesterday didn't work out. 

Penny

Irish Clovers:
I don't think you were rude and she probably totally understood.  Your DS needs to get the message that he won't get rewarded for bad behavior.  I respect that and I'm sure your friend does too.   :)

Lisbeth:

--- Quote from: pblair38 on December 29, 2006, 11:06:38 AM ---
Was I rude to change the plans at the last minute?  I have no intention of cancelling watching her DD today - it was just that yesterday didn't work out. 

Penny

--- End quote ---

I think under the circumstances you weren't rude.  Had your son been behaving properly, then yes, it would have been rude to cancel his going at the last minute.  But I agree with Anniejack that if taking away privileges is the only discipline your son responds to, then he has to learn that misbehaving will cost him those privileges, and playing with another child is a privilege.

IndianInlaw:
It would have been a worse situation had you allowed a cranky, overtired child to accompany her to the park.

She's a mom too...she'll understand.

Lunadiana75:
I'm not even a Mom, and I understand.  Your DS needed to learn that there are consequences for hsi actions. You did exactly what my parents would have done, and I think they did a pretty good job raising me  ;)

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