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Author Topic: Matching outfits for photos  (Read 17578 times)

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wyozozo

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #45 on: June 29, 2011, 05:46:10 PM »
I think we are getting off topic as to who asked for the picture.

Quote
family get-together for the weekend. The whole extended family (grandparents down to first cousins) rarely got together but they were mostly supposed to be there this year, so the grandparents had planned to have professional photos taken of everyone (grandparents paying for it)

For a family picture, that includes people that might not get together all that often, I would suck it up and do it. This is exactly what thrift stores and girlfriends are for. No one said it had to be new or mine.

For those of you that want to sit out, sit out. But don't be mad when you are referred to as "the one who wouldn't take the picture with us".



jimithing

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #46 on: June 29, 2011, 05:57:50 PM »
I think we are getting off topic as to who asked for the picture.

Quote
family get-together for the weekend. The whole extended family (grandparents down to first cousins) rarely got together but they were mostly supposed to be there this year, so the grandparents had planned to have professional photos taken of everyone (grandparents paying for it)

For a family picture, that includes people that might not get together all that often, I would suck it up and do it. This is exactly what thrift stores and girlfriends are for. No one said it had to be new or mine.

For those of you that want to sit out, sit out. But don't be mad when you are referred to as "the one who wouldn't take the picture with us".

Also, considering all the threads we've had about family pictures and who is asked to be in the pictures (i.e. not engaged, married, or living together), I would take it as a kindness that they wanted me to be in their family pictures in the first place, as I definitely wouldn't expect it at that stage.

hobish

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #47 on: June 29, 2011, 06:00:41 PM »

On the other hand I would worry about being forever stuck in someone's family picture, possibly as that b---- who broke up with little Joey after we let her in our picture!

It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
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jimithing

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #48 on: June 29, 2011, 06:03:58 PM »

On the other hand I would worry about being forever stuck in someone's family picture, possibly as that b---- who broke up with little Joey after we let her in our picture!



Ha! So true. Or if I did get married, which is what happened with the OP's friend, "that little bleep who refused to buy a shirt to be in the family picture and now we're stuck with her." :)

Surianne

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #49 on: June 29, 2011, 06:05:23 PM »
Surianne, I think there is a difference in the way these individual statements are phrased. " Jokiebird, I don't own khakis could I wear something else to the family picture or should I just opt out this year. " This gives jokiebird the option to (a) help her find khakis to borrow (b) suggest a khaki alternative, perhaps light colored trousers (c) offer to pay for khakis or (d) ask that she please sit out this year since she isn't fully family yet.  To say " I will be wearing a skirt and a light patterned dress. Take it or leave it." or something to that equivalent is to basically say, " I don't give two hoots for your family's tradition and won't go to any trouble to please you whatsoever. It delivers a message about your level or respect for your SO's family traditions and also the amount you are willing to compromise to get along. If someone said take it or leave it, I would be worried that they would be inflexible in other areas of their life as well.

Hmm...I guess I'm really interpreting the OP's posts differently, then.  Nothing she's said implies to me she'd say something like "I'm wearing X, take it or leave it" or anything else that warranted the family hoping her relationship was doomed.

immadz

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #50 on: June 29, 2011, 06:10:14 PM »
Surianne, I think there is a difference in the way these individual statements are phrased. " Jokiebird, I don't own khakis could I wear something else to the family picture or should I just opt out this year. " This gives jokiebird the option to (a) help her find khakis to borrow (b) suggest a khaki alternative, perhaps light colored trousers (c) offer to pay for khakis or (d) ask that she please sit out this year since she isn't fully family yet.  To say " I will be wearing a skirt and a light patterned dress. Take it or leave it." or something to that equivalent is to basically say, " I don't give two hoots for your family's tradition and won't go to any trouble to please you whatsoever. It delivers a message about your level or respect for your SO's family traditions and also the amount you are willing to compromise to get along. If someone said take it or leave it, I would be worried that they would be inflexible in other areas of their life as well.

Hmm...I guess I'm really interpreting the OP's posts differently, then.  Nothing she's said implies to me she'd say something like "I'm wearing X, take it or leave it" or anything else that warranted the family hoping her relationship was doomed.

Jokiebird was not responding to the OP's post but to Lynne2000's post.


Surianne

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #51 on: June 29, 2011, 06:19:02 PM »
Surianne, I think there is a difference in the way these individual statements are phrased. " Jokiebird, I don't own khakis could I wear something else to the family picture or should I just opt out this year. " This gives jokiebird the option to (a) help her find khakis to borrow (b) suggest a khaki alternative, perhaps light colored trousers (c) offer to pay for khakis or (d) ask that she please sit out this year since she isn't fully family yet.  To say " I will be wearing a skirt and a light patterned dress. Take it or leave it." or something to that equivalent is to basically say, " I don't give two hoots for your family's tradition and won't go to any trouble to please you whatsoever. It delivers a message about your level or respect for your SO's family traditions and also the amount you are willing to compromise to get along. If someone said take it or leave it, I would be worried that they would be inflexible in other areas of their life as well.

Hmm...I guess I'm really interpreting the OP's posts differently, then.  Nothing she's said implies to me she'd say something like "I'm wearing X, take it or leave it" or anything else that warranted the family hoping her relationship was doomed.

Jokiebird was not responding to the OP's post but to Lynne2000's post.

Hmm, thanks!  I just reread Lynne's post and didn't see anything rude in it either -- certainly nothing that would make someone reasonable think "I hope she doesn't marry into the family."  I'm not getting jokiebird's post at all.  To me, that post is far more rude than simply not wanting to spend money on a coloured t-shirt, but I may still be misinterpreting things so I'll move on for now  :)

Rosey

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #52 on: June 29, 2011, 06:36:41 PM »
I think we are getting off topic as to who asked for the picture.

Quote
family get-together for the weekend. The whole extended family (grandparents down to first cousins) rarely got together but they were mostly supposed to be there this year, so the grandparents had planned to have professional photos taken of everyone (grandparents paying for it)

For a family picture, that includes people that might not get together all that often, I would suck it up and do it. This is exactly what thrift stores and girlfriends are for. No one said it had to be new or mine.

For those of you that want to sit out, sit out. But don't be mad when you are referred to as "the one who wouldn't take the picture with us".

This. I completely agree.

I've never seen a family picture in the red shirt/khaki pants combination, but I've seen easily a dozen different families do the white shirt and jeans combination.

I think there are so many options available: borrowing clothes, buying from a Thrift store, making a shirt if you are so able, searching clearance racks, etc., that's it's a pretty big stance to refuse to do anything that would get you in the selected outfit. Also, I would find it hard to be sensitive about such a request. Now, if the family requested everyone wear purple plaid shirts with lime green pants (or something similar that most people would be unlikely to own), then I would say that perhaps a compromise is in order. However, it really sounds like the family was trying for staple items that would be easy to own, buy, or borrow.

I am a twin. I spent my entire childhood in coordinating outfits. I didn't like it, but I got over it. I also think there's a big difference between, "Let's look like twins!" and "Let's look like a family."

lady_disdain

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #53 on: June 29, 2011, 06:50:13 PM »
To me, dressing alike doesn't say "let's look like a family", since there are different people with different personalities in a family. Dressing alike would scream "corporate retreat organized photo" to me.

I prefer family photos that look like the real people in them, including granny in her velour track suit, grandson and his mohawk, niece with her loud clothes, preppy sister and slobby brother. Sure, it won't look like happy family from television, but it will be us.

wyozozo

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #54 on: June 29, 2011, 06:53:58 PM »
To me, dressing alike doesn't say "let's look like a family", since there are different people with different personalities in a family. Dressing alike would scream "corporate retreat organized photo" to me.

I prefer family photos that look like the real people in them, including granny in her velour track suit, grandson and his mohawk, niece with her loud clothes, preppy sister and slobby brother. Sure, it won't look like happy family from television, but it will be us.
And that is your choice. It was not what this particular family wanted though, so we need to address that issue.



Sharnita

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #55 on: June 29, 2011, 07:00:08 PM »
I guess the dress described in the OP doesn't actually sound real reastrictive or specific.  A solid shirt in one of two colors could come from Targer or from some high end store.  It could be long, sleaved, short sleaved, collared, collarless, button down, pull-over...

ACBNYC

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #56 on: June 29, 2011, 07:38:31 PM »
Surianne, I think there is a difference in the way these individual statements are phrased. " Jokiebird, I don't own khakis could I wear something else to the family picture or should I just opt out this year. " This gives jokiebird the option to (a) help her find khakis to borrow (b) suggest a khaki alternative, perhaps light colored trousers (c) offer to pay for khakis or (d) ask that she please sit out this year since she isn't fully family yet.  To say " I will be wearing a skirt and a light patterned dress. Take it or leave it." or something to that equivalent is to basically say, " I don't give two hoots for your family's tradition and won't go to any trouble to please you whatsoever. It delivers a message about your level or respect for your SO's family traditions and also the amount you are willing to compromise to get along. If someone said take it or leave it, I would be worried that they would be inflexible in other areas of their life as well.

Hmm...I guess I'm really interpreting the OP's posts differently, then.  Nothing she's said implies to me she'd say something like "I'm wearing X, take it or leave it" or anything else that warranted the family hoping her relationship was doomed.

Jokiebird was not responding to the OP's post but to Lynne2000's post.

Hmm, thanks!  I just reread Lynne's post and didn't see anything rude in it either -- certainly nothing that would make someone reasonable think "I hope she doesn't marry into the family."  I'm not getting jokiebird's post at all.  To me, that post is far more rude than simply not wanting to spend money on a coloured t-shirt, but I may still be misinterpreting things so I'll move on for now  :)

Hi, Lynn2000 *is* the OP. This is the part that I was reacting to (I don't know how to pull quotes from multiple posts):

I had a rather strong negative reaction to the idea of being told to wear very specific, matching clothing for family photos. Also, I don't own any khakis for sure and might not own a SOLID red or blue top; and I would be resistant to the idea of buying something specific for this occasion. Obviously I don't know what I would do should I find myself in such a situation for real; but hypothetically, I was thinking I would describe what I WAS willing to wear to the organizers

I think it's the phrasing of the post that bothered me, not the intent behind it, so yes, I probably came off as a little heavy-handed. What I was thinking was--OP was (hypothetically!) having a negative reaction to the request, resisting buying something to fulfill said request, then contacting the organizer to describe what she would be willing to wear. Either do it, or don't, but calling someone to basically say "I don't like this idea, this is what I am willing to wear, take it or leave it" would come off as very rude to me. I'm sure there are more polite ways to phrase it ("I don't have a solid red polo, but I do have a red polo with a blue collar, is that OK?) but describing what she'd be *willing to wear* is what is sticking in my craw.

relationships are about compromise. Buying or borrowing a blue shirt to fit in with the family picture seems like something minor I would do, *especially* if I weren't an official family member, in order to garner some good will or at the very least, not rock the boat.

But, in my family, our family portraits usually involve us simultaneously sticking up our middle fingers or (with pants ON!) mooning the camera. So what do I know about matching clothes in a family picture.  ;D


Carnation

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #57 on: June 29, 2011, 08:10:09 PM »
I had a friend who had a large family portrait taken like that.  Jeans and a colored Tshirt depending on which family branch they were from.

Each branch swapped out tshirts with the others if they had them in their closet. 

The picture turned out great. 



What a great idea! :D

Rosey

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #58 on: June 29, 2011, 08:11:55 PM »
To me, dressing alike doesn't say "let's look like a family", since there are different people with different personalities in a family. Dressing alike would scream "corporate retreat organized photo" to me.

I prefer family photos that look like the real people in them, including granny in her velour track suit, grandson and his mohawk, niece with her loud clothes, preppy sister and slobby brother. Sure, it won't look like happy family from television, but it will be us.

That makes sense in a way, but I don't like the idea of so many distracting things in a posed picture. I can see granny in her velour track suit in a candid picture along with all of the other personalities. In a posed picture, I would really like to focus on the faces, the generations coming together, that sort of thing.

Plus, as another poster pointed out, it doesn't sound like they were told what kinds of shirts and bottoms to wear. Granny could wear a red velour sweatshirt with khaki pants, the grandson can still have his mohawk, the niece can have as close as she can get to a neon shirt and khaki grunge pants, preppy sister can wear the polo shirt and pressed chinos, and sloppy brother can have the saggy baggies and corresponding t-shirt. You know what I mean? As long as no one is handing out actual uniforms, I think there is still some freedom here.

Ida

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Re: Matching outfits for photos
« Reply #59 on: June 29, 2011, 08:13:23 PM »
I am trying to imagine anyone's issuing such orders to my family, especially on the occasion of our (unfortunately very rare) reunion. The howls of laughter would echo from one coast of North America to both the others. In fact, I'm giggling right now just thinking about it. Now, someone MIGHT say, "Let's all wear tie-dye!" ——in fact, my sister's funeral was about equally divided between black and tie-dye, in her honor. IIRC, I wore one of her shirts because, unpatriotic as it sounds, I own only one tie-dyed item, a scarf.

Oh, even funnier: Of the family members who are in touch with each other at all, and just going by age, I'd have to be The Matriarch. OK, well, they'd all know I was joking if I suggested uniforms. Or even demanded an assembled photo; like several other relatives, I loathe being photographed.
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