Author Topic: Dragging things in from other threads.  (Read 24984 times)

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sugar pie

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #30 on: June 30, 2011, 10:06:58 PM »
Im a tad confused about what is being discussed here, but want to understand... Can anyone dumb the issue down a shade for me?  MUCH appreciated in advance :)

Situation A: "Oh my gosh, I can't afford to pay rent this month!! What am I going to do? I'm going to lose my home and me and my 8 kids will be homeless!! They won't let me even pay a week late! What do I doooo?"


Do you bring up the fact that in a thread posted 3 days ago, this same poster bragged about the $500 Louboutins that she just bought? Or do you pretend you never saw that prior thread?


Situation B: "My neighbor keeps letting her dog poop in my yard! It's SO RUDE!!!"

Do you bring up the fact that this poster has posted the EXACT same problem 5 times and has received fantastic advice each time that she has chosen not to follow but brings up the problem CONSTANTLY.

Situation C: A poster mentions some bit of news, say that she's pregnant, in EVERY SINGLE post they make.

Do you say "yes, we get it. You've said it 50 times" or do we quietly suffer for 9 months?

Ok, the last one was weak. :P But you get the point. Can we bring up old threads or do we treat each thread as though it's the poster's first post.
 Obviously, I feel old posts are important information.

These are perfect examples of when it's useful to keep past threads in mind. But bringing up a person's $500 Louboutin's and how they should use that money for rent instead or anything pertaining to their money troubles in a different thread where they've inquired as to something completely unrelated would be nothing but dogpiling.

Danismom

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #31 on: June 30, 2011, 10:36:08 PM »
Lol!  Sometimes the title sends me in a completely different direction than the thread goes in.

I read the title thinking about those "inside jokes" that sometimes get carried from one thread to the next:

egg-re-goose
foot stomping
racist bagels
etc

Delia DeLyons

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #32 on: June 30, 2011, 11:31:54 PM »
;)  And in contrast, though Im not too sensitive or anything, I will add that I find the title a shade negative sounding... Though thats kind of the reason I clicked it in the first placa, hahaha... :D
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jimithing

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #33 on: July 01, 2011, 12:03:31 AM »
I think it would be pretty disingenuous and unhelpful to never bring up things posted in the past. And frankly, many posters post about the same people in their lives over and over. I think it's helpful to a poster to say, "From what you have posted in the past, you are clearly too close to the situation to see things objectively. Here's how I see it." To pretend something doesn't exist or didn't happen would be, well, weird.

SiotehCat

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #34 on: July 01, 2011, 12:06:04 AM »
I answered in the Full Moon thread, but it's more "Don't bring arguments from one thread to another."

Especially if one thread's been closed, bringing it up again will just get the other thread closed.

Thank you, Ticia. I knew I had read something, and that makes sense.

Surianne

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #35 on: July 02, 2011, 06:06:19 PM »
I agree with those who said it can be useful or not useful, depending on the motivation.

I've had posters go find threads I posted in 2 years ago, and then challenge me all "Well in 2009 you said X, can you explain the contradiction?????  Or were you lying?????" and not drop it when I've said I really don't care to discuss when I said in 2009, that situations in threads are very different and depend on context, and that people are allowed to change their minds even if it was the same situation posted 2 years apart. 

When this happens I feel quite attacked and I think it's very rude.  I quickly discovered I was in the minority on that, so I learned to just ignore it and pretend I didn't see the post.  I still think it's a pretty nasty thing to do, though. 

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #36 on: July 02, 2011, 06:12:17 PM »
I was also thinking of Roe's Summer of NO, which happened over several threads.  Just one long thread might have become way too unwieldy for reading.  At the same time, it wasn't the same thing over and over, in that as Roe's behavior changed and K'nihave's behavior evolved in response, it was (for me, at least) extremely educational on how to develop the polite backbone.  It wasn't just one instance, but a sequence in which Roe was almost under siege, and how she learned to deal with it.  Without all the constant references to previous threads, I don't think it would have had as much resonance.  (It helps when people post the links -- thanks to those who do it, I don't know how, but it is so useful).
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kingsrings

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #37 on: July 02, 2011, 07:41:08 PM »
I agree with those who said it can be useful or not useful, depending on the motivation.

I've had posters go find threads I posted in 2 years ago, and then challenge me all "Well in 2009 you said X, can you explain the contradiction?????  Or were you lying?????" and not drop it when I've said I really don't care to discuss when I said in 2009, that situations in threads are very different and depend on context, and that people are allowed to change their minds even if it was the same situation posted 2 years apart. 

When this happens I feel quite attacked and I think it's very rude.  I quickly discovered I was in the minority on that, so I learned to just ignore it and pretend I didn't see the post.  I still think it's a pretty nasty thing to do, though.

ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

Surianne

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #38 on: July 02, 2011, 09:22:13 PM »
ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

I can barely remember what *I* said last week...  ;D

blue2000

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #39 on: July 03, 2011, 06:01:42 PM »
ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

I can barely remember what *I* said last week...  ;D

LOL! Neither can I!
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Winterlight

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #40 on: August 19, 2011, 03:01:47 PM »
ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

I can barely remember what *I* said last week...  ;D

LOL! Neither can I!

I go back and read my old posts- it's interesting to see some threads again from a new perspective, and there are some I enjoyed that I like rereading. They might have refreshed their memories this way. I hope this makes it a bit less unnerving! :-*
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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #41 on: August 19, 2011, 04:44:55 PM »
ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

I can barely remember what *I* said last week...  ;D

LOL! Neither can I!

I go back and read my old posts- it's interesting to see some threads again from a new perspective, and there are some I enjoyed that I like rereading. They might have refreshed their memories this way. I hope this makes it a bit less unnerving! :-*

This is so embarrassing, but once I was reading old threads (3 years plus), and I read something that I thought was particularly well written, only to look and see that I had written it.  What can I say?  I like my own style.
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AlwaysQuizzical

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #42 on: October 31, 2011, 08:40:18 PM »

ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

As a new member I know I click on member profiles and go to the topics that they have posted over the years. It has really helped me see what history the member has, and the way that advice was given to them in the past. Quite often I find really interesting threads or advice on situations I've had in my life, but hadn't thought to post about. I also feel less like an outsider than I did a month ago.

lollylegs

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #43 on: October 31, 2011, 09:24:10 PM »

ITA. For one, I'm shocked and a little unnerved that anyone can remember a comment someone on here said two, or more, years ago!!

As a new member I know I click on member profiles and go to the topics that they have posted over the years. It has really helped me see what history the member has, and the way that advice was given to them in the past. Quite often I find really interesting threads or advice on situations I've had in my life, but hadn't thought to post about. I also feel less like an outsider than I did a month ago.

Also, I'll always do a quick check before posting something to see if my question's already been answered.

JenJay

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Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #44 on: October 31, 2011, 09:30:23 PM »
I agree with those who said it can be useful or not useful, depending on the motivation.

I've had posters go find threads I posted in 2 years ago, and then challenge me all "Well in 2009 you said X, can you explain the contradiction?????  Or were you lying?????" and not drop it when I've said I really don't care to discuss when I said in 2009, that situations in threads are very different and depend on context, and that people are allowed to change their minds even if it was the same situation posted 2 years apart. 

When this happens I feel quite attacked and I think it's very rude.  I quickly discovered I was in the minority on that, so I learned to just ignore it and pretend I didn't see the post.  I still think it's a pretty nasty thing to do, though.

I've seen this happen to several people, and in fact I'm not surprised SiotehCat brought it up because I know I've seen it happen to her several times. I don't mind in the examples Shores gave, that's totally legit, but when it's done in a way like Surianne explained it really bothers me. Someone may have a general reaction to things, but there will be exceptions. People may feel like X about a scenario but ask them again a few years, or heck even weeks, later and life may have taken them in a direction that caused their opinion to change. I wouldn't appreciate being questioned in that "Ha! I just caught you!" tone and it makes me uncomfortable when I see it happening to other people.

Gah! Edited to fix wording that had me accidentally insulting someone. I need more candy!
« Last Edit: October 31, 2011, 09:34:54 PM by JenJay »