Author Topic: Dragging things in from other threads.  (Read 24864 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

kingsrings

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9708
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #45 on: October 31, 2011, 09:58:59 PM »
ITA. I just ignore those kinds of posts.

Rohanna

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2320
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #46 on: November 01, 2011, 01:32:13 AM »
If we weren't supposed to talk "cross-thread" or sometimes remember what a poster has said before, why even have thread archives or static poster names at all? I mean- does it matter who posts what if you aren't supposed to use that info to help build a picture of a poster and respond accordingly? I don't feel that threads exist in a vacuum. If you are willing to post something in public view as your opinion, why is it not acceptable to use it in a different thread- provided the manner it is used in is fair and polite.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. ~ Jack Layton.

Gabrielle

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 273
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #47 on: November 01, 2011, 02:22:36 AM »
If we weren't supposed to talk "cross-thread" or sometimes remember what a poster has said before, why even have thread archives or static poster names at all? I mean- does it matter who posts what if you aren't supposed to use that info to help build a picture of a poster and respond accordingly? I don't feel that threads exist in a vacuum. If you are willing to post something in public view as your opinion, why is it not acceptable to use it in a different thread- provided the manner it is used in is fair and polite.

Because it's not often fair and polite. SiotehCat's threads often have this happen - she will post about a fairly innocuous issue and someone will come in and start snarking because they don't agree with the way she treats her cats. It's not that we're not allowed to ever talk cross thread - if I see someone posting in "hugs" about how they are about to be homeless because they can't afford rent and then separately starting a thread about how much prada they are buying, I might (gently) comment. But in most of the instances I've seen, people bring things up in a "HA! I've caught you in a miniscule confusion of details! SHENANIGANS!" way and that can be very tiresome.

Yvaine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8795
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #48 on: November 01, 2011, 08:43:00 AM »
If we weren't supposed to talk "cross-thread" or sometimes remember what a poster has said before, why even have thread archives or static poster names at all? I mean- does it matter who posts what if you aren't supposed to use that info to help build a picture of a poster and respond accordingly? I don't feel that threads exist in a vacuum. If you are willing to post something in public view as your opinion, why is it not acceptable to use it in a different thread- provided the manner it is used in is fair and polite.

Because it's not often fair and polite. SiotehCat's threads often have this happen - she will post about a fairly innocuous issue and someone will come in and start snarking because they don't agree with the way she treats her cats. It's not that we're not allowed to ever talk cross thread - if I see someone posting in "hugs" about how they are about to be homeless because they can't afford rent and then separately starting a thread about how much prada they are buying, I might (gently) comment. But in most of the instances I've seen, people bring things up in a "HA! I've caught you in a miniscule confusion of details! SHENANIGANS!" way and that can be very tiresome.

To me the cross-thread references are most useful when I'm just hopping mad about a response and then I remember that the poster just has a huge hot button or peeve about a subject that makes them more extreme about it than most. It actually makes me less cranky about the post, because I'm able to say to myself "oh, this person just has a touchy spot about X, all around."                                                           

rashea

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9663
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #49 on: November 01, 2011, 09:06:30 AM »
I know sometimes when I see a contradiction between an old post and a current one, it's because I had a vague memory of a previous thread that was relevant and thought I'd look back to see what was said. Sometimes it changes my opinion, and sometimes I see that as useful and post it.

I probably do the 3 item on Shore's list. I don't expect people to remember things about me, so if there is something out of the norm for me that gives me a different perspective, I post it as a reminder. My using a chair is on that list for me. It's changed my perspective, so I bring it up. I never mind people giving the context which forms their perspective, even if I've heard they were pregnant for a while now, until threads get twisted around one topic every time a poster shows up.

I think bringing things in from other threads is useful, but there should be some care not to derail the current thread. One thing that happens is when we have thread A and thread B dealing with similar circumstances. I'd rather see a spin-off discussing why people feel one way in thread A and another in thread B than see either of those threads derail because we were trying to compare within a thread.

Context in terms of old posts can be helpful. Recently there was another post by Yarnspinner (sorry, I'm borrowing your thread because it was pretty relevant) where a new person didn't know the background with Stonecold. I made the critical error (  :-\ )of trying to gather the past threads up a bit and give the context. A full page of threads later I think I may have scared Yarnspinner. But, if it was just that one incident, it didn't seem so outrageous.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

Vermont

Ehelldame

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2774
  • I'm evil personified to the terminally crass.
    • Etiquette Hell
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #50 on: November 01, 2011, 09:28:45 AM »


Some examples...

SioCat said in one thread that she was a huge Cat activist and would be very loud and vocal at local cat shows. Later on, in another thread, she stated her opinion that it was rude for the sales people at the mall to be aggressive sellers. CatHater brings up SioCats first thread.

CatHater should have alerted the mods to a post in which someone is pushing their personal agenda of being a cat activist as this is against the forum rules.  Besides, being loud and vocal is rude which opens the discussion as to appropriate behavior in these contexts. 

Aeris

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9638
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #51 on: November 01, 2011, 11:32:53 AM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

Yvaine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8795
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #52 on: November 01, 2011, 11:36:51 AM »


Some examples...

SioCat said in one thread that she was a huge Cat activist and would be very loud and vocal at local cat shows. Later on, in another thread, she stated her opinion that it was rude for the sales people at the mall to be aggressive sellers. CatHater brings up SioCats first thread.

CatHater should have alerted the mods to a post in which someone is pushing their personal agenda of being a cat activist as this is against the forum rules.  Besides, being loud and vocal is rude which opens the discussion as to appropriate behavior in these contexts.

I disagree with the bolded, actually. I think there are settings where being loud and vocal is acceptable, and also that it makes a difference how you express yourself, regardless of volume. I don't think it's rude to get up on a soapbox at a political rally and say "Policy X is a bad idea, and here's why." I think it is rude to say "Politician X is ugly and his mother wears combat boots," sure, and also that it's rude to hijack a non-political event with politics. But there are places and times where being "loud and vocal" about a set of beliefs--political, religious, activist, etc.--is exactly what the event is for.

Larrabee

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4749
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #53 on: November 01, 2011, 11:47:45 AM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

I agree with Aeris that I'd also like a bit of clarification, I've mentioned being a feminist on here a few times and explained my views in that light. 

Also, I love the variety and diversity of people on here, surely it would be a lot less interesting and educational if we didn't sometimes reveal the things about us that make us different and inform our opinions and reactions?

Fleur-de-Lis

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2567
  • Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #54 on: November 01, 2011, 11:48:48 AM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

I have the same questions. 

I want to know if someone believes PuppiesarePerfect - I know that it's best I not talk with them about HorridDog.  Knowing another's strong beliefs gives me an opportunity to be mindful of those beliefs.   

I also want to know if somebody feels very strongly that CatsYowl - I will not discuss with them my feeling that KittensAreCute.  I might mention that I believe KittensAreCute in another context, but will not knowingly directly engage somebody who believes CatsYowl about how cute kittens are.  That *would* be pushing an agenda. 


•   Finally we shall place the Sun himself at the center of the Universe.


Ehelldame

  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2774
  • I'm evil personified to the terminally crass.
    • Etiquette Hell
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #55 on: November 01, 2011, 11:52:40 AM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

If you are pushing a personal agenda that is not focused on etiquette, it is incompatible with the mission of this site.   For example, I have no idea what the religious or political persuasions of half the moderators and I'm not sure I can fully articulate the beliefs of the other half.  It is irrelevant to the discussion of etiquette for the most part whether they believe x when others believe y since there are not separate etiquette rules for this religion or that political belief or party.   

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28380
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #56 on: November 01, 2011, 12:36:24 PM »
I think that posting here is like talking in real life. You can't to say one thing on Monday, and have it be completely separate from what you said on Tuesday.

I think it's fair to bring up contradictions as discussion points - "Why are you upset about what the Jetsons did, when you said in another thread that the Flintstones did almost the same thing, and you supported them completely? Is there a justifiable difference that you can explain here?"

It's not fair to bring up things that are not related - "You were upset by the Jetsons? Well, you once said you don't like cats, so what do you know?"
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Teenyweeny

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1664
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #57 on: November 01, 2011, 01:34:00 PM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

If you are pushing a personal agenda that is not focused on etiquette, it is incompatible with the mission of this site.   For example, I have no idea what the religious or political persuasions of half the moderators and I'm not sure I can fully articulate the beliefs of the other half.  It is irrelevant to the discussion of etiquette for the most part whether they believe x when others believe y since there are not separate etiquette rules for this religion or that political belief or party.

I think the question is, what do you count as 'pushing an agenda'? I might mention that I'm a lesbian, if it seems pertinent, and helps to explain my viewpoint (99% of the time it's irrelevant, so I don't mention it). I know that some people consider there to be a 'gay agenda' (which as far as I can tell amounts to not hiding in the closet, but I digress...). Am I pushing that by mentioning my wife?



pierrotlunaire0

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4179
  • I'm the cat's aunt!
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #58 on: November 01, 2011, 01:44:21 PM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

If you are pushing a personal agenda that is not focused on etiquette, it is incompatible with the mission of this site.   For example, I have no idea what the religious or political persuasions of half the moderators and I'm not sure I can fully articulate the beliefs of the other half.  It is irrelevant to the discussion of etiquette for the most part whether they believe x when others believe y since there are not separate etiquette rules for this religion or that political belief or party.

I think the question is, what do you count as 'pushing an agenda'? I might mention that I'm a lesbian, if it seems pertinent, and helps to explain my viewpoint (99% of the time it's irrelevant, so I don't mention it). I know that some people consider there to be a 'gay agenda' (which as far as I can tell amounts to not hiding in the closet, but I digress...). Am I pushing that by mentioning my wife?

When it is relevant, I think that you really need to mention it, just for clarity's sake.  You want people to focus on the etiquette question of (for example) an employer requiring your SO to wear panty hose, and not have people go off in a totally different direction (her husband has to wear panty hose?).

But like you said, when it isn't relevant, you don't mention it.  I think Ehell Dame was talking about posters who talk about their SO being the same gender and it has nothing to do with the situation.  Then someone says, "What does sexual orientation have to do with it?" a person with an agenda would start to complain about not being able to discuss their orientation.  And yet, their orientation has nothing to do with the problem, or even this site, for that matter. 

And not to pick on you, Teeny-weeny.  It also relates to people who drag in references to political or religious affiliation, when it has no bearing on the issue.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

Larrabee

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4749
Re: Dragging things in from other threads.
« Reply #59 on: November 01, 2011, 02:03:59 PM »
Is it against the forum rules to mention at all that you are a cat activist? Or is it merely against the rules to try to push other people to convert to your way of thinking? (That's what I think of when I think of 'pushing an agenda').

I have mentioned being a vegetarian on this site many times, when it was relevant to the thread, but have never tried to convert anyone to agree with me - I would hope that those mentions would not be seen as 'pushing an agenda'.

Would you mind clarifying a bit?

If you are pushing a personal agenda that is not focused on etiquette, it is incompatible with the mission of this site.   For example, I have no idea what the religious or political persuasions of half the moderators and I'm not sure I can fully articulate the beliefs of the other half.  It is irrelevant to the discussion of etiquette for the most part whether they believe x when others believe y since there are not separate etiquette rules for this religion or that political belief or party.

I think the question is, what do you count as 'pushing an agenda'? I might mention that I'm a lesbian, if it seems pertinent, and helps to explain my viewpoint (99% of the time it's irrelevant, so I don't mention it). I know that some people consider there to be a 'gay agenda' (which as far as I can tell amounts to not hiding in the closet, but I digress...). Am I pushing that by mentioning my wife?

When it is relevant, I think that you really need to mention it, just for clarity's sake.  You want people to focus on the etiquette question of (for example) an employer requiring your SO to wear panty hose, and not have people go off in a totally different direction (her husband has to wear panty hose?).

But like you said, when it isn't relevant, you don't mention it.  I think Ehell Dame was talking about posters who talk about their SO being the same gender and it has nothing to do with the situation.  Then someone says, "What does sexual orientation have to do with it?" a person with an agenda would start to complain about not being able to discuss their orientation.  And yet, their orientation has nothing to do with the problem, or even this site, for that matter. 

And not to pick on you, Teeny-weeny.  It also relates to people who drag in references to political or religious affiliation, when it has no bearing on the issue.

The thing is, a poster being straight rarely has much to do with the etiquette issue but nobody sees calling your opposite sex partner husband, wife, BF, GF etc. as pushing a 'straight' agenda. 

I think its fine to call your wife your wife, always, that's what she is!