A new Conspiracy theory

[MerryRaven]

So a friend of our named Mark got a little peeved when a few of us over the holidays laughed at his latest conspiracy theory.

You see there is too much traffic at times when there shouldn't be and sometimes the traffic stops and backs up for no apparent reason so the government must be paying people to drive there cars and back up traffic (apparently just to inconvenience Mark).

He knows this is true because he has called all his friends when the traffic has backed up and they are all home so there cannot be real people going places or doing things. 

Okay, I did chastise my daughter when she openly rideculed him in my home.  Afte rall he was a guest and you don't do that.  And no he was not drunk and is fairly intelligent.

I must admit that I was hard pressed not to comment that didn't think the traffic situation was all about Mark.

But now when ever traffic is heavy it is becoming a "Mark situation."

[Lunadiana75]

Boy oh boy, my ex was a conspircay theorist.  I almost lost my eyeballs inside my own head from rolling them.

I put a stop to him sharing his little "moments of truth" with me when he said the bus that went over the Seattle Aurora bridge in the late nineties was actually a government plot to kill one guy that was on the bus.  I won't get into it, suffice to say it was so far from rational you need a NASA telescope to seelogic.  After having suffered through his ever crazier and crazier notions I finally said "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life".   Thankfully, he never shared his theories with me again. 

I get what I get for dating a guy who thought Fox Moulder really had the right idea. 

[NOVA Lady]

I have a friend who also loves conspiracies! I try to not engage her or egg her on. I just tell her thats an interesting theory and allow the conversation about that topic to die a quiet death!

[gjcva1]

oh brother......

and, um, well...did we ask who decides what times of day there shouldn't be traffic on the roads?

props to you Merry Raven, for not snorting a drink through your nose when he advanced his theory!

[behindbj]

I think I hurt myself trying to see the logic in the "Mark situation."  It's like those people who say that the Government puts mind-control microchips in your arm when you give blood.

Well, if they did that - wouldn't one of the things they made you do was give more blood?

I have too much trouble grappling with reality to create a whole other one...

behindbj

[housewife2k]

Did you inquire as to why traffic will back up in odd times in cities where he isn't driving? I often find that there is odd traffic when I am trying to drive somewhere, and Mark doesn't live in MN, are they out to get me too? Or is it part of some larger Mark slowdown?

[hobish]

I think I hurt myself trying to see the logic in the "Mark situation."  It's like those people who say that the Government puts mind-control microchips in your arm when you give blood.

Well, if they did that - wouldn't one of the things they made you do was give more blood?

I have too much trouble grappling with reality to create a whole other one...

behindbj

Well, no, then they might accidentally put multiple microchips in you & that would cost too much & probably mess up the signals. They'd probably try to make you encourage other people to give blood. 

[Alida]

ROFLOL!  DH loves conspiracy theories and talking about them, but he never gets upset.  Heck, most times, he laughs with us laughing at him.

[behindbj]

I think I hurt myself trying to see the logic in the "Mark situation."  It's like those people who say that the Government puts mind-control microchips in your arm when you give blood.

Well, if they did that - wouldn't one of the things they made you do was give more blood?

I have too much trouble grappling with reality to create a whole other one...

behindbj

Well, no, then they might accidentally put multiple microchips in you & that would cost too much & probably mess up the signals. They'd probably try to make you encourage other people to give blood. 

See - that's what the black helicopters are for:  to make sure that everyone oly has ONE microchip.

You know - in case someone gets greedy.

Not to inject reality here (heaven forbid), but - I work for the federal government in a fairly innocuous role and I am amazed at what the public thinks I spend my time doing. 

behindbj

[Suze]

Where's the tin-foil?

I need a new hat......

[behindbj]

Oddly enough, it's my job to monitor tinfoil purchases.

behindbj

[hobish]

Not to inject reality here (heaven forbid), but - I work for the federal government in a fairly innocuous role and I am amazed at what the public thinks I spend my time doing. 

behindbj

...mmmhmmmm...that's what we'd expect you to say...

[IndianInlaw]

"did we ask who decides what times of day there shouldn't be traffic on the roads?"

Perhaps they are the ones who think crossing guards should not carry clipboards.

[behindbj]

Not to inject reality here (heaven forbid), but - I work for the federal government in a fairly innocuous role and I am amazed at what the public thinks I spend my time doing. 

behindbj

...mmmhmmmm...that's what we'd expect you to say...

That's right - pay no attention to the tall lady with the clipboard, GPS and set of maps...

No attention at all...

behindbj

[behindbj]

"did we ask who decides what times of day there shouldn't be traffic on the roads?"

Perhaps they are the ones who think crossing guards should not carry clipboards.

See - it allllllll has to do with clipboards...

Forget I ever said that...

I thought it was very amusing that when I was in Mississippi on hurricane relief folks knew I was in charge of the crew because I was the one with the clipboard (even though I was wearing a hard hat, steel-toed shoes and safety vest like the rest of my crew).

behindbj