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Author Topic: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser  (Read 6640 times)

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bluedahlia

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2011, 03:33:42 PM »
You're nicer than me. I would've gone to the door with 911 on the phone, my bat and a shouted warning to "leave or deal with the police, buddy." I'm not polite about "get off my proprty."
*eta: my grandmother was killed in her apartment years ago. I have zero tolerance or sympathy for intentional trespassers

This.  So this.

sevenday

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2011, 05:28:05 PM »
After the second comment of "you need to leave," I would have gone inside and called the non-emergency police line.  No, the person wasn't doing anything overtly hostile, but then again, they could have been "casing" the place for a later break-in or theft.  At a duplex I lived in, I once went to let my dog out into the fenced yard and realized there was a man standing in the middle of the yard.  My dog charged him barking, and if he was ONE BIT less friendly, he might very well have bitten the intruder.  Thankfully he stopped a short distance away and barked his head off.  The guy was not apologetic, and said he was with a construction company that my landlord had contracted to fix a septic problem.  I asked him if he'd noticed the 2 cars parked in my driveway.  He said yes, and I asked him if he really thought he had 0 responsibility to notify the tenants of what they were going to do, and he shrugged, said "Not my problem."

I promptly told him to leave and not return unless he had a written document signed by my landlord discussing exactly what they were going to be doing in my yard.  He left.  His supervisor returned a couple hours later, knocked on my door.  I explained to him that I had not given permission for the landlord OR the contractors to enter my private fenced yard.  I understood that the work being done was necessary, and would now give them CONDITIONAL access, specifically mentioning that they MUST keep the side gate closed.  Long story short, they failed to keep the gate shut and my dog escaped three times before I padlocked it. They were Not Happy about that, but I told them that I was within my rights to do so.  They got permission from my landlord to knock down a full section of the wood fence in order to access the yard - and it was up to me to secure it.  You read that right.  That was one major reason why, after 4 months of an open sewer pit in my backyard, I left that duplex and left nasty reviews everywhere I could find.

Smitty

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2011, 06:35:04 PM »
OP, what's the distance from your front door to the sidewalk? Was the guy 20 feet on to your property, or do you have the type of house that's right near the street with a tiny strip of garden/lawn?

No matter what, he should have moved, but the answer might affect just how creepy I would have found his behaviour.

Mikayla

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2011, 07:22:56 PM »
My etiquette on dealing with trespassers, especially in a circumstance like this that seems a bit off, is that I never go out of my way to be rude...but there's no such thing as too direct.  I make my feelings very clear, I do it very quickly and the word "cops" is generally in there somewhere.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2011, 09:49:57 PM »
I've got a doozy of a trespasser for you guys...

What a strange neighbor, SoCalVal!  If I were your DF, I'd keep a nice strong flashlight by the window.  That way he can shine the flashlight back at Crazy Neighbor every time she tries to peer in his windows.  It won't hurt her, but she'll know (and everyone else will know) you're watching her and you disapprove!

HoneyBee42

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2011, 10:51:37 PM »
In my book, the polite way to handle trespassers is to (after clarifying that they have no legit purpose on my property) is to tell them once "you need to leave".  No movement, I close the door and call the cops.  If they leave before the police arrive, call back to say the matter is resolved but please do a drive-by when time allows.  If they're still there when the police arrive, the police will handle from there, and I help (by giving a statement) as needed.

Nora

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #21 on: July 09, 2011, 03:39:38 AM »
At first I thought you were going to say the trespasser was your cat.


The cat would like everyone to know that he notified everyone in the house about the people problem and deserves special treats.  He's been checking in with me since it happened.

Good cat!! Who needs a security system if you can have a cat jump on you! Much more charming.  :D
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

zyrs

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #22 on: July 09, 2011, 04:12:07 AM »
OP, what's the distance from your front door to the sidewalk? Was the guy 20 feet on to your property, or do you have the type of house that's right near the street with a tiny strip of garden/lawn?

No matter what, he should have moved, but the answer might affect just how creepy I would have found his behaviour.

From where he would come in to my property to where he was standing is around 20 feet as a crow flies and closer to 30 feet in how you have to walk to get where he was standing.  Which was part of why I found it so odd and rude.

And as for the cat, he has had extra special fish flakes, some freeze-dried chicken and two extra games of chase the feather (cat fishing). 

Erich L-ster

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #23 on: July 09, 2011, 04:20:07 AM »
I was rather dumbfounded by it, because, well, he's a toddler. He doesn't "just HAVE" to do something. You grab his hand and don't let him run across someone's front yard to get to their porch. You also certainly don't then stand there for a good 10 minutes chatting away in someone else's yard while your kid sits on their porch and plays with their potted plants.

Good grief! They didn't even go after him when he ran away?  :o
really, what if she had sharp pruning shears or other dangerous stuff on her own porch which shouldn't need to be baby-proofed against trespassing weirdos.

if i was accidentally at the wrong house i would at least take the phonecall back out to the sidewalk while i tried to figure out where the right house was.

Erich L-ster

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #24 on: July 09, 2011, 04:25:03 AM »
I've got a doozy of a trespasser for you guys...

  DF has this nosy neighbor who he's said has some mental issues.  I've caught her many many MANY times doing a very slow walk past his apartment in order to stare in the windows (he's even caught her doing it but says nothing because she a bit off mentally).  However, when I've called out, "Stop staring!" she stops so it's pretty clear she knows what she's doing is wrong.
i would be very tempted to show her something she doesn't want to see like a full moon.

ettiquit

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #25 on: July 09, 2011, 08:33:16 AM »
My dog charged him barking, and if he was ONE BIT less friendly, he might very well have bitten the intruder.  Thankfully he stopped a short distance away and barked his head off.

I think it's interesting that most dogs seem to instinctively know when someone is a stranger or not.  So long as I greet new people who come to my house, my dogs are fine.  But if my dogs happen to be outside when my lawn care company comes, they'll stand on the deck and bark like crazy.  Dogs are the best and cutest security system ever!

Yarnspinner

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #26 on: July 09, 2011, 08:52:25 AM »
I was rather dumbfounded by it, because, well, he's a toddler. He doesn't "just HAVE" to do something. You grab his hand and don't let him run across someone's front yard to get to their porch. You also certainly don't then stand there for a good 10 minutes chatting away in someone else's yard while your kid sits on their porch and plays with their potted plants.

Good grief! They didn't even go after him when he ran away?  :o


Nope. They just let him go. It's a good distance from the sidewalk to the front porch, so they would have had plenty of time to stop him if they'd wanted to. I think they were just thinking "oh, how cute, he wants to sit on the neighbor's porch!" and let him go. It made me nervous, because he really is quite small and still unsteady on his feet, and my steps and porch are concrete. He could have easily tripped and hit his head on the steps. Not to mention the plant stakes I have in my pots..they're metal suns with pointy rays that could easily injure someone.

And then you would hear "How DARE you have things on your personal property that could hurt my child whom I can't and won't control!  He's just a toddler and doesn't know any better because I can't be bothered to teach him!"  Well, okay, they couldn't have added the  parts that were derogatory to their parenting style, but somehow, it would have been the property owners fault. 

Not quite the same, but we have parents who bring their little ones into the library and...let 'em go.  There are sharp cornered book shelves, buckling rugs that WE trip on all the time and we know about them.  One time I watched two little kids chase each other around one department.  Adults were tripping over them, the little boy cracked into a book case, fell down, cried and then started running again.

I lost it.  I told both of them to cut it out right now before they hurt themselves or each other.   Mommy and Daddy both suddenly appeared from the other end of the room to tell me to mind my own business.  I pointed out that the children were in danger of hurting themselves or another patron.  Mommy sniffed and said "Well that's not OUR fault!" 

Guess it was mine.  Or maybe the person who decorated 50 years ago.  You KNOW that if one of those kids had gotten seriously injured, there would have been a lawsuit.

Smitty

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #27 on: July 09, 2011, 09:48:25 AM »
OP, what's the distance from your front door to the sidewalk? Was the guy 20 feet on to your property, or do you have the type of house that's right near the street with a tiny strip of garden/lawn?

No matter what, he should have moved, but the answer might affect just how creepy I would have found his behaviour.

From where he would come in to my property to where he was standing is around 20 feet as a crow flies and closer to 30 feet in how you have to walk to get where he was standing.  Which was part of why I found it so odd and rude.

And as for the cat, he has had extra special fish flakes, some freeze-dried chicken and two extra games of chase the feather (cat fishing).

OK, that is super-duper creepy.

Sirius

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #28 on: July 09, 2011, 11:11:21 AM »
When I lived in the mobile home park I was on the very end of the row, and if could get quite dark there.  When I first moved in I had a very timid sheltie.  One night right after I'd moved in the weather was stormy ("It was a dark and stormy night") and out of nowhere there was a knock on the back door.  My dog was doing a happy dance in front of the door and wagging her tail, so I figured it was someone she knew.  Turned out to be my dad, who got the first of many lectures about calling first. 

The night the drunk guy knocked on my door my dog barked and growled.  For my sheltie to react like that I knew it had to be a stranger, so I opened a window on that side of the mobile home that didn't have a screen and leaned out and asked, "May I help you?"  Turned out he was at the wrong house. 

Carnation

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Re: Etiquette of dealing with a trespasser
« Reply #29 on: July 09, 2011, 12:41:02 PM »
I had a guy knock on my door telling me he could win a contest by signing up so many friends. 

I think he was casing the place. >:(

By the way, a TV show on such matters suggested yelling "Bob!  Get the shotgun!"   This, whether or not there is a shotgun, or even a Bob!