Author Topic: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)  (Read 5698 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« on: July 09, 2011, 01:12:56 AM »
I put this under this category because "I'm afraid that won't be possible" would also work (perhaps work better but I haven't made a concrete decision on how I feel, so I'll go with both).  It is the story about addressing one's own thank you note envelope.


Sorry, here is the link:
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110709
« Last Edit: July 10, 2011, 08:46:07 PM by Dark Magdalena »
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Mikayla

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2011, 06:07:21 PM »
Are you asking about the second letter and the shower thank you note addressing?  If so, I liked Abby's answer (which falls under the category if this can't be possible :)

I don't like this practice to begin with, but for the GOH's mother to hover over her like that was flat out rude. 

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2011, 08:45:45 PM »
Yes, sorry, that is the one to which I was pointing.  When I provided the link, I forgot to then change my original post to fix it.  Thanks for pointing out it!
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gingerzing

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2011, 02:00:25 PM »
I saw that as well. 

Sadly, the women who hosted my wedding shower did that.  SIGH.  Thankfully it wasn't on stamped envelopes, so I just addressed my own thank yous.

Not sure how else to deal with it than how Abby suggested.  Perhaps, "Oh, GOH has all my info.  Not to worry, I am sure she can take care of it."  Next step for me would be to have a coughing fit and need to go get a drink. 

hobish

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2011, 02:09:47 PM »

I had to double check and make sure i didn't write that letter. The same exact thing happened at my friend's shower a few years ago, mom standing over me and everything. I tried Abby's approach, not word for word, but darned similar and it didn't work even a tiny bit. Someone who is willing to hover over you like that is not going to be easily stopped. Don't you know my poor friend was going to be too busy to think about thank you notes?  ::) ...'cuz I wasn't too busy to shop and come go to a shower and all that instead of 1000 other things I could have been doing that day, nooooo. In the end, I did not do the right thing. I tried to argue, and when it didn't work I wrote in the address without the unit number. Now if that were to happen I still don't know what I would do; but on some days I swear I will get up and leave and take the gift with me.
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Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2011, 07:30:48 PM »
The women in my family are known for their stubbornness.  My mother is the most stubborn, then my sister, then me.  That being said, I flat out refused addressing my own envelope, but there was admittedly no one hovering.  I didn't leave with the gift, but just kind of rationalized myself into she would figure out I had not done it when she went to write the thank you notes and would have to address it herself anyhow; she did :)
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jedikaiti

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2011, 07:03:49 PM »
So here's a question for you all...

What if you're the bride (or mom to be), and suddenly realize that the kind friend who has gone to all the trouble of hosting a shower for you is pulling this stunt on the guests?
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

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Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2011, 07:14:38 PM »
You could pull the shower host into another room and explain that you have everybody's details and are uncomfortable with that practice.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2011, 07:20:01 PM »
You could pull the shower host into another room and explain that you have everybody's details and are uncomfortable with that practice.

This.

If I saw guests doing it, I would also probably say, "Oh, no need to do that, that's my job!  Thanks for thinking of it, though!"
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

kareng57

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2011, 11:18:43 PM »
Okay, I'm kind of in two-minds about this one.  For one thing, where I come from, it's not considered strictly necessary to have written thank-you notes for shower gifts - *as long as* the bride to be/mom to be had plenty of opportunity to give each giver a sincere, in-person thanks.  If it was a huge shower with 20+ guests, that's probably not the case, and therefore written TY notes are necessary - as with, naturally, anyone who could not attend but sent a gift.  And while I don't really like the idea of guests addressing their own TY notes - for me, it wouldn't be the hill-to-die-on either.  My figuring would be that raising a vocal objection would just add unneeded drama to the occasion - and possibly make the GOH feel guilty even if it wasn't her idea.

robobecky

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2011, 12:09:46 AM »
I seriously hate this practice, I think it's incredibly tacky.  I just held a baby shower for my friend recently, and I wouldn't even consider having the guests address their own envelopes.  Instead I took detailed notes of what my friend recieved, and from whom, so that she can refer back to it if necessary.  I saw that she put up a thank you on Facebook to everyone, I just hope written thank you notes are on their way!

jedikaiti

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2011, 12:05:35 AM »
I seriously hate this practice, I think it's incredibly tacky.  I just held a baby shower for my friend recently, and I wouldn't even consider having the guests address their own envelopes.  Instead I took detailed notes of what my friend recieved, and from whom, so that she can refer back to it if necessary.  I saw that she put up a thank you on Facebook to everyone, I just hope written thank you notes are on their way!

If not, I hope she doesn't expect you to host any showers for any additional kids!
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

mariamousie1

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2011, 06:19:37 PM »
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of! If the bride didn't address her card or wrap her gift, why should I address my thank you note? :(

kareng57

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2011, 09:10:12 PM »
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of! If the bride didn't address her card or wrap her gift, why should I address my thank you note? :(


Do keep in mind that the bride normally would not have addressed the shower-invitation herself - the hostess would be a friend or a not-immediate-family relative.

Of course this is not excusing the situation in the OP, just clarifying.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Dear Abby has the answer! (Link fixed)
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2011, 09:14:22 PM »
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of! If the bride didn't address her card or wrap her gift, why should I address my thank you note? :(


Do keep in mind that the bride normally would not have addressed the shower-invitation herself - the hostess would be a friend or a not-immediate-family relative.

Of course this is not excusing the situation in the OP, just clarifying.

I think mariamousie1 meant the card that was in the bag with the gift or attached to the gift...but I don't know.
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