I am thinking about my ex, because today would have been our anniversary

[brooklyngirl]

I hate feeling this way.  Today would have been the 2 year anniversary of the day my ex-boyfriend and I got back together.  We had been together for almost a year when he lost his job and stopped talking to me...just disappeared from my life.

Two years later, he contacted me.  I decided to give him another chance, because I still loved him.  We were together for just over a year, and then he had some medical insurance problems, and he did it again.  Just stopped calling me.  I finally called and said that I couldn't keep calling him and not getting a response.  He never called me back. 

A couple of months later he emailed me.  I finally had the guts to tell him that, even though I would always love him, we needed to move on with our lives separately.

I have a new boyfriend now, for almost 4 months and things are great.  So why did I spend almost the entire day being miserable over my ex?  I hate it...and I didn't even want to tell my boyfriend about it.  He would understand, but I want us to have the great relationship we do have and not think about the past.

[Ondine]

I think you're still thinking about it because it wasn't a 'clean break' and there wasn't any closure. I still sometimes feel the same way about my ex, but I know I'm better off without my ex. Sometimes not knowing why things happened the way they did is better anyway. *hugs* and I'm glad you've got a great b/f.

[IndianInlaw]

Because  you are human.

Anniversaries are hard.

[MadMadge43]

Who knows why the heart works the way it does. But PLEASE, do not mention it to your current BF. I know you know not too, but I know I've said plenty of things that I knew I shouldn't have.

[brooklyngirl]

Thank you all for your replies, and your support.

Candi- It's true that there wasn't a clean break, but I know why it happened. He is very insecure, and has emotional issues that make him withdraw from the very people he should be reaching out to.  I tried to be there for him, but it wasn't enough. Thanks for the hugs too.

Indian In Law- You're right, anniversaries are hard...and at one time I thought he was "the one", so it's doubly hard.

MadMadge- I know what you mean, because I've said things I shouldn't have too. I am NOT going to mention it to my BF though, because I don't want him to be upset.  He would, if he knew I was.

I feel much better today.   

[MadMadge43]

I'm glad you feel better today sweetheart. And I'm glad you got through the night not sharing anything.

[brooklyngirl]

Thank you. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, once I really thought about it.

And today, when I decided to call my BF at work to surprise him....he was focused on work and didn't recognize my voice at first, because he doesn't expect me to call him there...the way his voice got all excited when he realized it was me made me feel so great!

[pennylane]

Good for you, FL.  I'm glad to hear you now have a wonderful BF.

Letting go of something like that from the past can be very hard, especially because it was very hurtful.  It was the ex's issues, not yours.  And good for you that you knew to walk away from this guy who just withdraws from those he should turn to, because he just isn't capable of handling it or coping with hard times.

Better days are ahead for you!

[brooklyngirl]

Thank you, pennylane....I know there are better days ahead, because I'm already having them!  Bruce is the sanest and most stable man I've ever dated, and it warms my heart the way he watches out for me.

I may have posted this here before, but he tries to make sure I eat the right things, since I'm diabetic.  When I thank him for looking out for me, he smiles and says "well, where am I going to find another girl like you? I have to keep you around for another 40 years."  Last weekend he amended that to add, " I'd have to get 3 girls to take your place, maybe more."

And...actually, I walked away from my ex because I could see he wasn't going to change, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for him to wake up.  I gave him a second chance, and made sure he knew from the day we got back together that it was his LAST chance.  He understood, but I guess he couldn't handle having someone that was there for him no matter what.