Weeeelll. This thread has certainly given me a lot to think about. While I am perhaps not inclined to agree with all assessments of my character/behaviour I have in principle agreed with some already, and what I don't disagree with entirely is at least useful as an eye opener.
I would like to defend myself in one instance with regards to my references to my size or Tallfiancee's hotness. (Please note: she's not tall at all. That part is just to link her to my own screen name and make fun of her tiny stature. Also, her idea). To me Tallfiancee is very attractive. Other people agree or disagree to varying degrees.
It is mostly tongue in cheek when I say thing like "devastatingly attractive", I'm not in a relationship
with a supermodel just trying to be funny. However, if I incorporate her wit, charm and intelligence into the equation I would absolutely classify her as "devastatingly attractive". I am very happy with the woman I'm with. Not just her looks, her as a person. She also reads this forum and I enjoy leaving her a compliment or two while she's getting her eHell fix.
In regards to me? Smug and superior? Well, yes. I would hope that recognising those traits is a sign of maturity - I would also hope that doesn't make me sound even more smug. I have good luck in life. I respect that and enjoy it. In the grand scheme of things I have little to complain about and see little reason to do so. Nearly everything I've thought a problem or didn't like about my life as a child has been changed/fixed for the better since I became an adult - I revel in that fact.
One of the big things was going from short and skinny to tall and fit - I was less than ecstatic with my body and now I am proud of it. Should anyone who undertakes drastic weight loss from obesity to a healthier body be quiet about it because they appear smug and superior? I do not think so and I would argue my own situation is the flip side of the coin. I also enjoy being tall over being short although that is not related to health issues such as weight and obviously not another side of the weight loss/weight gain coin. I am happy to dial it down anyway in this case - just to be sure.
I accept that bragging is uncouth and so while I see little reason to act humble I do take steps not to overstate my good fortune. It would appear that has failed to a degree and slipped out as an air of superiority and smugness. I'll do my best to address that in future as I agree it makes for poor company if I appear to think I am better than most because I am happy.
Assessments of my character flaws aside -Which I do not believe are the domain of this forum? However, poor etiqutte/manners being a character flaw
yes and no perhaps?
Oh and to those calling "P" a bully? "P" was childish and a boor, but he wasn't bullying by a longshot. A bully is nasty to someone's face and deliberately tries to embarrass someone or make them feel bad... which is what the OP did.
This in particular jumped out at me. I do not believe that insulting and belittling someone behind their back is not
bullying. I do not agree that I was deliberately nasty to P in the above post. I refused a favour, more accurately I refused a favour in Tallfiancee's behalf as I knew her feelings on the matter would be far more vehement. P spent a significant amount of time putting me down within earshort of myself and those close to me. I would argue that constitutes "nasty to someone's face and deliberately tries to embarrass someone or make them feel bad" better than when I refused to give P a lift.
And yes, perhaps I opened a can of worms on myself by admitting that I was horrible to P in the past. I was. While generally I would welcome debate on the subject the more relevant issue, and central thrust of my post, is whether it is rude to expect a favour from someone you have just been publicly insulting and/or is it rude to reject a favour to someone because you don't like them or their behaviour, guilty conscience or no?
I included details of my poor history with P in order to get that guilty conscience aspect. I would be interested to know if etiquette changes depending on the emotional history between two people. I assume, however, that since "no" is
a complete sentence that we can always refuse a favour for no reason other than we don't want to give that favour to the person in question.