Author Topic: You hate me so...no. (long)  (Read 35139 times)

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Amalthea

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #60 on: August 17, 2011, 11:21:31 AM »
I believe tallone is in his early 20s

I thought he was 19 or 20.  Still, he notes in his post that he was kind of a jerk in high school, he's ashamed of that behavior now, and he's trying to fix it.  There isn't some "instant mature person" switch you can flip as soon as you graduate high school.

He's not all the way there yet, and but he's working on it and coming here for advice on how to do it right. 

Yes, and I think posters are trying to provide advice on how he comes across and how to do better.

They are, but I still think they're being really harsh about it.

Fleur-de-Lis

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #61 on: August 17, 2011, 11:23:14 AM »
I believe tallone is in his early 20s

I thought he was 19 or 20.  Still, he notes in his post that he was kind of a jerk in high school, he's ashamed of that behavior now, and he's trying to fix it.  There isn't some "instant mature person" switch you can flip as soon as you graduate high school.

He's not all the way there yet, and but he's working on it and coming here for advice on how to do it right. 

Yes, and I think posters are trying to provide advice on how he comes across and how to do better.

They are, but I still think they're being really harsh about it.

I completely agree.  Some in particular, more so than others.   
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Amalthea

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #62 on: August 17, 2011, 11:27:00 AM »
Quote
He's not all the way there yet, and but he's working on it and coming here for advice on how to do it right.  I know I can't be the only one who wants to hide under the bed thinking of how I was as a teen.

He didn't come for advice.  He posted to show off how he'd shot down someone and put them in their place.  While "P" was a boor.. the OP had a few opportunities to be the bigger person and/or show that he really has come a long way.

P: Hey, can you give me a ride to A's?
Me: Didn't you drive here?
P: Yeah but I decided I want to drink now. You have a spare seat right? Just give me a lift.
Me: Why would I want to do that?
P: Why not? Don't be a d*ck about it  At this point, the OP could have said "Because my fiancee overheard you insulting me throughout the meal.  I think I'm justified in turning you down, based on that alone"
Me: I doubt Tallfiancee will give you a lift. You drove yourself here and you can drive yourself to A's
P: Why are you such a jerk? What did I do to you? "You insulted me nonstop throughout the meal"
Me: I'll see you over there.


This interaction could have gone better and the OP could have actually let "P" know that his actions had consequences.  Instead it seems like more of the bickering nonsense they had in HS, with the OP 'coming out on top' - and based on the substance of the OP and subsequent responses, it seems like that was the intention to which I took umbrage.

Posts like that are helpful advice.  "This is what you did wrong, and here's what you could have done better."  Not "You're a jerk, you're arrogant, and I don't like how you describe your girlfriend," which is the attitude I was getting from some other posts.

Peggy Gus

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #63 on: August 17, 2011, 11:43:07 AM »
Quote
He's not all the way there yet, and but he's working on it and coming here for advice on how to do it right.  I know I can't be the only one who wants to hide under the bed thinking of how I was as a teen.

He didn't come for advice.  He posted to show off how he'd shot down someone and put them in their place.  While "P" was a boor.. the OP had a few opportunities to be the bigger person and/or show that he really has come a long way.

P: Hey, can you give me a ride to A's?
Me: Didn't you drive here?
P: Yeah but I decided I want to drink now. You have a spare seat right? Just give me a lift.
Me: Why would I want to do that?
P: Why not? Don't be a d*ck about it  At this point, the OP could have said "Because my fiancee overheard you insulting me throughout the meal.  I think I'm justified in turning you down, based on that alone"
Me: I doubt Tallfiancee will give you a lift. You drove yourself here and you can drive yourself to A's
P: Why are you such a jerk? What did I do to you? "You insulted me nonstop throughout the meal"
Me: I'll see you over there.


This interaction could have gone better and the OP could have actually let "P" know that his actions had consequences.  Instead it seems like more of the bickering nonsense they had in HS, with the OP 'coming out on top' - and based on the substance of the OP and subsequent responses, it seems like that was the intention to which I took umbrage.

Posts like that are helpful advice.  "This is what you did wrong, and here's what you could have done better."  Not "You're a jerk, you're arrogant, and I don't like how you describe your girlfriend," which is the attitude I was getting from some other posts.

I just re-read all of the posts, no where was he called a jerk. People said that they noticed that he referenced his hot girlfriend quite often.  It is unnecessary and adds zero to the discussion, the same would be said if someone constantly referred to their SO as short and ugly. His attitude does come across arrogant, I don't see how that is harsh, it is no different than if you said someone was snarky or defensive.

PeasNCues

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #64 on: August 17, 2011, 11:48:14 AM »
I believe tallone is in his early 20s

I thought he was 19 or 20.  Still, he notes in his post that he was kind of a jerk in high school, he's ashamed of that behavior now, and he's trying to fix it.  There isn't some "instant mature person" switch you can flip as soon as you graduate high school.

Right, he's ben two or three years out of high school now. My intention was to show him where he was acting immaturely in this particular instance and how he was coming off in his posts. I think 19 or 20 is old enough to be able that information.

Also POD to Matilda.
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dawbs

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #65 on: August 17, 2011, 12:02:14 PM »

Quote
He's not all the way there yet, and but he's working on it and coming here for advice on how to do it right.  I know I can't be the only one who wants to hide under the bed thinking of how I was as a teen.

He didn't come for advice.  He posted to show off how he'd shot down someone and put them in their place.  While "P" was a boor.. the OP had a few opportunities to be the bigger person and/or show that he really has come a long way.

P: Hey, can you give me a ride to A's?
Me: Didn't you drive here?
P: Yeah but I decided I want to drink now. You have a spare seat right? Just give me a lift.
Me: Why would I want to do that?
P: Why not? Don't be a d*ck about it  At this point, the OP could have said "Because my fiancee overheard you insulting me throughout the meal.  I think I'm justified in turning you down, based on that alone"
Me: I doubt Tallfiancee will give you a lift. You drove yourself here and you can drive yourself to A's
P: Why are you such a jerk? What did I do to you? "You insulted me nonstop throughout the meal"
Me: I'll see you over there.


This interaction could have gone better and the OP could have actually let "P" know that his actions had consequences.  Instead it seems like more of the bickering nonsense they had in HS, with the OP 'coming out on top' - and based on the substance of the OP and subsequent responses, it seems like that was the intention to which I took umbrage.

Posts like that are helpful advice.  "This is what you did wrong, and here's what you could have done better."  Not "You're a jerk, you're arrogant, and I don't like how you describe your girlfriend," which is the attitude I was getting from some other posts.
I'm w/ Amalthea that this is helpful
I think the 'this is how you could improve' does way more than speculating at one's motive for posting.  Seeing the motive as arrogance is any reader's prerogative but my hackles go up when perception of motive is stated as fact when it's quite clear that other posters see the motive differently.

I just re-read all of the posts, no where was he called a jerk. People said that they noticed that he referenced his hot girlfriend quite often. It is unnecessary and adds zero to the discussion, the same would be said if someone constantly referred to their SO as short and ugly. His attitude does come across arrogant, I don't see how that is harsh, it is no different than if you said someone was snarky or defensive.
I'm not sure that the italics isn't unfairly applied here.
For years, I've referred to my pets w/ silly descriptors here on ehell (El Gato the Splendiferious, Pupus the fuzzybutted-cuteness) without it ever coming up.  I'm sure it probably annoys as many people as find it cute.
I'm not sure why it's coming up for this poster when similar things are said here on a pretty regular basis and no one has batted an eye.

PeasNCues

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Re: You hate me so...no. (long)
« Reply #66 on: August 17, 2011, 12:22:13 PM »
To be honest, I think the GF descriptor would have gone without notice if it were not coupled with apparent smuggness.
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/