Are you sure you're not pregnant?

[oz diva]

I'm hoping I'm not the only person to have had someone insist that you are pregnant, when in fact you are most definitely not. I was chatting to a friend who had this problem this week:
Rude Person: Hi K, are you pregnant?
K: No, I'm not.
RP: Are you sure?
K: Yes
RP: Are you really sure?
K: Yes (sotto vocce Aunt Flo came visiting today).

Now Rude Person is really clueless because she told another overweight person that she couldn't feel cold with all that insulation.  But what do you do when clueless peope insist that you are pregnant. It's happened to me on a couple of occasions. For the record I am 5'10" and have a bit of a tummy.

[Samantha]

You aren't alone. When I was 13, I was asked by a classmate when I was due. I hadn't even had my first kiss yet!

And last summer, I took Wally (my boyfriend) to the emergency room, as he kept getting sick. We'd actually been joking for a month that he was carrying my lovechild, and how horrible morning sickness can be (this was when it was only once a week he was getting sick). Then he started getting sick more frequently, and one Saturday, he was sick several times in an hour.

Once he was back in a room and undergoing tests, I was asked at least six times by four different people if I was pregnant (three nurses, and the doctor). They thought he was maybe having sympathy sickness, until I told them that if I was pregnant it was news to me, but I'd be happy to take a pregnancy test if it would get them to STOP ASKING ME!

[MrsJWine]

"Do you know something I don't, or have you been watching Rosemary's Baby again?"

[StarDrifter]

grrrr this sort of thing sets my teeth on edge.

I'm 6ft tall and a little overweight, plus Ace and I have been married for 18 months. One of Ace's aunts (Clueless) insists that I must be pregnant, to the point that she informed Ace's *grandmother* that I was, and was just waiting until after her daughters' wedding to announce it, so as not to 'steal the spotlight'.

If I am pregnant, it's news to me. And I'm pretty sure that the person whose body is gestating would be the first to know.

Besides that, I was always told "Unless she's in labour, it's extremely rude to ask about someone else's reproductive status."

[oz diva]

Yes, I always say, unless you see the head crowning, don't assume anything. 

[Verity]

If I am pregnant, it's news to me. And I'm pretty sure that the person whose body is gestating would be the first to know.

Not necessarily.  My SIL asked if I was pregnant several weeks before I began to suspect. 

I would try an icy, "I beg your pardon" repeated until the questioner abandons their inquiry.  I had the opposite problem with my daughter though.  Until midway through the five month mark.  Sometimes you can't win for losing.   

[SamiHami]

"The contents of my womb are not up for discussion. I will let you know if or when I have something to announce."

[Outdoor Girl]

Evil OG would want to say, 'No.  Are you?' or 'Not unless it is immaculate conception.'

But I think a good answer would be, 'Thank you for your concern' or 'Why do you want to know?'

[gingerzing]

"The contents of my womb are not up for discussion. I will let you know if or when I have something to announce."

I like this one.

Yes, I always say, unless you see the head crowning, don't assume anything. 

I have told my DH this a couple of times when he has asked about certain women at church. 

 I also have come up with some very un-ehell approved comments. Including, once when I actually finally said "Nope, just fat. Thanks for rubbing it in."  (The person asked several times with the whole "Are you sure?")   

[Auntie Mame]

There are only TWO People who can ask me that question 1) BF (because, well, it would affect his life as well as mine) 2) My Doctor (Because the Doc needs to know that before an exam).


Everyone else needs to mind their own flipping business.

[oz diva]

"The contents of my womb are not up for discussion. I will let you know if or when I have something to announce."

I like this one.

Yes, I always say, unless you see the head crowning, don't assume anything. 

I have told my DH this a couple of times when he has asked about certain women at church. 

 I also have come up with some very un-ehell approved comments. Including, once when I actually finally said "Nope, just fat. Thanks for rubbing it in."  (The person asked several times with the whole "Are you sure?")   

It may not be approved, but I think that's a great response. If the interrogator insists on digging their hole deeper, why not make them feel uncomfortable about it.

[HorseFreak]

I once had a coworker insist I was pregnant and poke my tummy fat (which really wasn't that extensive at 5'5" and 118 lb) until I cried. She was foreign so I gave her a break on cultural differences, but I felt horrible.

[Sirius]

I was required to take a pregnancy test before a particular medical test...at age 49.  However, it was explained why I needed the test even at my age, so I took the test.  But I felt strange standing in line at the pharmacy paying for the test.  And the expression on Mr. Sirius' face when I told him I needed to buy a test was priceless. 

[Lisbeth]

"Even if I were pregnant, it's up to me to announce, not you to ask.  Drop the subject, or I drop our friendship."

[twiggy]

So glad to see it's not just me  I cheerfully respond "Nope, just chubby."

I actually had the opposite issue when I was pregnant with DS. SIL was 2 weeks further along than me, and some of the extended family thought I was making it up for attention.
The strange thing is that when I was pregnant with DD, I was 2 weeks further along than SIL. There were several jokes made about DH and BIL calling to coordinate Scrabble sessions.