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UpdatedName

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Thanks!
« on: August 01, 2011, 09:27:04 PM »
Thanks!
« Last Edit: October 15, 2011, 09:20:06 PM by mahassiddasairy »

Sharnita

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2011, 09:30:17 PM »
I would leave it to her boss to make that clear.  I can't imagine that they wouldn't say something if they objected.

Fleur-de-Lis

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2011, 09:37:26 PM »
I would leave it to her boss to make that clear.  I can't imagine that they wouldn't say something if they objected.

I can easily imagine it.  Having sat through a fine dining experience with a shrieking toddler, managers of eateries are far more afraid of offending parents than child-free parties, even at places intended for a certain ambiance.  (Couples' celebrations, etc.)

As to what to do, regrettably there is little you can do other than suggesting a sitter (if one can be found any more).  I go through similar situations in a circumstance where I am not in a position to say anything, so I empathize with the frustration.
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Sharnita

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2011, 09:42:45 PM »
I think the situation is a bit different when the parent is also an employee of the establishment.

Cuddlepie

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2011, 10:00:40 PM »
Since your friend works at this particular restaurant, you could ask some pertinent questions.  eg:  Do many other customers bring their children here? Does your boss consider his restaurant as a child-friendly establishment? Has the boss ever thought of purchasing high chairs?  ......and so on.  By asking the right questions you'll be able to guage if it is indeed OK (by the boss) to bring her children or maybe your friend will conclude that she could be risking having her boss offside by doing this.

My other thought is that if your friend is a valuable employee than the boss will probably not mind at all.

hyzenthlay

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2011, 10:05:49 PM »
Actually I think a faux-pub with booths sounds reasonable to take kids too.

Unfortunately there is no restaurant to which you should take kids that are screeching.

Sharnita

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2011, 10:06:17 PM »
I think that even if you say something she will go back to her boss ans try to get him/her to say that they have no problem with the kids - if they do then she will take that as her answer and be ticked at you.

Master_Edward

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2011, 10:59:19 PM »
I simply wouldn't eat out with her at that restaurant if it bothered me. I'd be "busy" whenever she invited me to eat with them there.

Ed.

Cosmasia

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2011, 11:29:01 PM »
Honestly I think it would be perfectly fine if you were more direct with her. Tell her you aren't comfortable dining with, by your description, loud shrieking children unless it's in a child friendly/centric restaurant.

It's her own problem if she gets offended and if she does I'd simply refrain from eating with her and her kids again.

Be polite but direct, is my advice.
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Texas Mom

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2011, 12:07:08 AM »
I simply wouldn't eat out with her at that restaurant if it bothered me. I'd be "busy" whenever she invited me to eat with them there.

Ed.

pod

Aquamarine

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2011, 09:17:29 AM »
Since your friend works at this particular restaurant, you could ask some pertinent questions.  eg:  Do many other customers bring their children here? Does your boss consider his restaurant as a child-friendly establishment? Has the boss ever thought of purchasing high chairs?  ......and so on.  By asking the right questions you'll be able to guage if it is indeed OK (by the boss) to bring her children or maybe your friend will conclude that she could be risking having her boss offside by doing this.

My other thought is that if your friend is a valuable employee than the boss will probably not mind at all.

As a fellow diner having my meal disturbed it would be irrelevant to me whether or not the boss minded or not.  Other diners don't like having their dining experience ruined and I think that is what is most important.

I would suggest a sitter or another restaurant.  If she insists on the pub then I would decline to go with her and if pressed I would tell her exactly why I felt the way I did.  It's not comfortable sitting there while your companion's kids ruin the ambiance and adult atmosphere for all the other diners, especially so for the ones who hired a sitter for their own children so they could have a nice adult evening out.

To me no highchairs means there is no interest in having children as customers.
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Bibliophile

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2011, 09:25:11 AM »
Next time can you try "Oh, we always go there - let's try something new!  How about XYZ?"

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Zilla

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2011, 09:59:47 AM »
I would be nice but blunt.  When friend suggest the pub again, I would say, "Friend, I noticed there were no other kids there and no high chairs.  Let's go to this place instead so the kids will be more comfortable there."  If she says, oh its okay I know everyone there!  Say, "Oh I know you work there but I think this restaurant will be fun to try..."


And honestly, I would decline if she insists on the pub.


Now if it was someone closer, maybe you can expand on why you think the other restaurant is better. 

high dudgeon

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2011, 10:19:38 AM »
I don't think whether a restaurant offers high chairs is a firm expression of a restaurant's position. It's a clue, but it's one of many. It could be the restaurant just hasn't ordered them yet, especially if it's a new restaurant. Or a restaurant might offer high chairs because they're afraid of legal liability, and not because they want to go out of their way to be welcoming to families with young children.

If the kids were loud, and the restaurant is quiet, then I think that's the problem. If the kids were of an age or a disposition where they could be there without bothering the diners around them, then I'd think you were being oversensitive. But since that's not the case, I'd  have a list of more family friendly restaurants to suggest to her when she wants to go out. If it's New Place or nothing, or she presses you, I think it would be polite to say, "I love seeing you and the kids! But I get kind of stressed or worried about the kids getting loud and bothering the other diners. If we went somewhere more geared to kids, I think I could relax and enjoy my time with you guys more. So how about I take you guys out to FamilyPlace next time?"

bah12

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Re: Friend's Kids and Eating Out in Public
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2011, 10:43:27 AM »
My DD is not even 2 yet and sometimes she sits in the booth with me when we go out vs. a high chair, so I don't really see an issue with that.

The thing is, kid friendly or not, I don't know anyone who would be ok with dining in a restaurant with shrieking kids.  When I think pub, I think a place that's pretty noisy in general, so if the kids are loud enough to disturb other diners there, and your friend can't calm them down, I don't know how moving to a different restaurant is going to change things.

I think it's ok for you to be uncomfortable dining with her and her kids and I don't think there's anything wrong with asking her if you two can eat out alone sometime.