General Etiquette > Family and Children

Is an heirloom a REAL gift?

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missyg:
My 17 yr old son is hurt beyond words. His BIG Christmas present...unless you count an alarm clock and some other regifted junk... from his out of state father was a SSteel Rolex Perpetual that had originally been his father's grandfathers (purchased new in Switzerland in 1950).
It was given to his father when his grandfather passed in 1979. It originally had a matching metal band but his father had it cleaned and a leather strap added as the metal band was stretched out (? that's what his father said).There is no sentimentality here as my son and his fathers family have no relationship.
My son was hurt because his father had gifted his grown step sons, both in their late 20's, used solid gold/diamond  Rolex Presidential 's last Christmas.
Although my son was NOT expecting such a grand gift as his step brothers...truth be known he had asked for a laptop as he's graduating in May...he certainly wasn't expecting this as his only Christmas gift of value.

Comments?

Was this an appropriate gift?

His older sister got her grandmother's 1950's diamond face Hamilton as her gift...it went straight to the bottom of her jewelry box with a shake of her head. My ex's mother passed away last January and there is not a cash flow problem as she was worth over $25Million. He owns over $2Million in homes in 2 states and he gifted his now wife with a 2007 Mercedes E500 for helping care for his mother the last 6 months of her life....her and 6 round the clock nurses and a fulltime household staff of 3...woop.


 

gjcva1:
missy, i don't know how to answer this.  personally, i do think an heirloom is a real gift.  and that gift can come as a surprise as to monetary value.  my FIH gave my daughter a pin after the death of my MIL.  she is planning to wear it at her wedding.  we had it appraised.  it was worth nearly $2K.

then again, i went through a box today of mementos.  they aren't worth a dingdangity thing monetarily, but there are things i have from my grandparents on both sides.  i'm sorry that your son didn't receive a gift that he wanted.  

MadMadge43:
My parent's were never strapped for cash either, but often would pass down family heirlooms at Christmas time. There are things that I still treasure there are other things I sighed and moved on.

My father used to say it was bogus because we were going to inherit it anyway, so in his mind my mom basically chose to give us things that were techinically already ours.

But I also realize that these gifts also mean so much to the giver to be able to pass down.

I think I would only make up  my mind if I knew Dad was known to be cheap and always give hand-me-downs that weren't of sentimental value. I would have preferred if he had give it to them in a nice moment and explained the history of why it was so important. If he had done that, then I think your son would be wrong to complain. But if he just opened up a jewelry box and took out whatever they no longer used and shipped it off, than I would be annoyed.

kareng57:
Yes, it certainly can be a real gift.  I don't see what was wrong with it in this case.  Your ex's net worth has nothing to do with it; I've known of very wealthy people who are quite frugal regarding gifts to their children.

It might not have been what your son was expecting - but we don't always get what we want.  Personally I would consider a laptop to be a very extravagant gift for an 18-year-old - but keep in mind that it's possible his dad his saving that for a graduation gift.

Clara Bow:
I think that an heirloom is a real gift, and there's nothing wrong with giving one, I think it was a touching gesture. You don't give your father's watch to just anyone....

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