Author Topic: I probably was rude, but so was she  (Read 5974 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

oz diva

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1170
  • The Classics are SO last Century
I probably was rude, but so was she
« on: August 04, 2011, 03:06:19 AM »
The scene: work. The scenario we have a training course and I'm organising registrations. Registrations closed last Friday. It's a Train the Trainer set up, so one person from each organisation comes and trains their colleagues afterwards. There are a total of 30 places of which 29 are taken. 

I received a registration yesterday from a well known Christian education organisation for four of their staff. Well I can't take four because a) there just isn't room, b) registrations closed c) it's one participant per organisation. So I ring up the organisation and explain all that to them. I'm then transferred to their CEO who starts to get quite belligerent. "We are a large organisation with 45,000 staff..." At which point I stop her and say that it's okay for her to tell me all this, but the fact remains that I can only accept one registration. She humphs and hands me back to her minions.

Okay I probably was a bit abrupt but I could see that she was going to give me the speil and it wouldn't change anything anyway.

So was I rude, maybe, but I had my instructions and I stuck to them. What do the ehellions think?
« Last Edit: August 04, 2011, 10:10:51 AM by War_Doc »

Victoria

hjaye

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1228
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2011, 08:48:07 AM »
I'm not sure either one of you were rude.  As has been stated on this board before, it's not rude to ask, although the manner in which a person asks can be rude.

If she was demanding you allow her to register her people, and was being belligerent and talking down to you, then that would be rude.  If she asked in a nice manner, there would not be anything rude in that.  I think by your post she sounds like she was closer to the former than the latter, but I'm not sure she crossed the line.

I don't think you were rude.  You cut her off to let her know you would not be able to accommodate her request.  Stating the facts is not necessarily rude.  So long as you did not yell at her, or call her names I think you are fine.

O'Dell

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4372
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2011, 09:28:21 AM »
She seems to have been rude: belligerent and harrumphing are rude in my opinion.
I don't see how you were rude. You let them know that it wouldn't be possible and even bent the rules to say they could send one even though registration was closed.
I don't see how it being a christian organization is relevant.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman

kschmid5

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1215
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2011, 09:32:13 AM »
She seems to have been rude: belligerent and harrumphing are rude in my opinion.
I don't see how you were rude. You let them know that it wouldn't be possible and even bent the rules to say they could send one even though registration was closed.
I don't see how it being a christian organization is relevant.

Maybe because she expected the CEO to know better?  I know there is a perception that business CEOs are cutthroat, rude and brusque.  Maybe she thought that this CEO, as being the head of a very large religious organization, would have better manners.

FlyingBaconMouse

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 454
  • In my belfry...
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2011, 09:38:40 AM »
She seems to have been rude: belligerent and harrumphing are rude in my opinion.
I don't see how you were rude. You let them know that it wouldn't be possible and even bent the rules to say they could send one even though registration was closed.
I don't see how it being a christian organization is relevant.

Maybe because she expected the CEO to know better?  I know there is a perception that business CEOs are cutthroat, rude and brusque.  Maybe she thought that this CEO, as being the head of a very large religious organization, would have better manners.

I agree. To me, there's a pretty big disconnect between "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "Intimidate people into breaking the rules for you."
I don't kill threads, but I do seem to stun 'em pretty good. :-)

O'Dell

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4372
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2011, 10:15:31 AM »
I wasn't clear. I understand the reasoning behind the statement. I just don't think it's relevant to whether the CEO was rude or not.

And who knows...that might have been an isolated lapse on the part of CEO. It doesn't excuse the rudeness at all. But I don't think it's necessary to call into question her devotion to her religion.

(Note: I'm not christian. I know I might suspect that's where this opinion was coming from, but it's not in my case. ;))
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman

oz diva

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1170
  • The Classics are SO last Century
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2011, 10:36:38 AM »
I partially mentioned the religion because there was a possibility my compatriots would recognize the organization as they have had a fair bit of press lately and partially because I expected someone from a religious organization to be better behaved. She was definitely trying to muscle her way in. I'm not saying that all Christians are bullies, but she is. I'm sorry if offended anyone.

Victoria

Raintree

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6035
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2011, 10:30:32 PM »
I don't think the presence or absence of religion has any bearing on rudeness.

At any rate, you weren't rude; you just saved her from a long tirade about how important her needs were, when nothing she could say would make those four spaces appear. And you saved yourself time instead of having to listen to it; I'm sure you had other work to do.

She wouldn't have been rude if she'd said something like, "I understand we missed the deadline but I wonder if you can help me with this....the situation is that I have 45,000 employees and blah blah blah.....is there any flexibility at all on this?"

MyFamily

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4585
Re: I probably was rude, but so was she
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2011, 02:59:51 PM »
I'm just reading this, even though it was posted a few months ago.  The thread focused on the use of "Christian organization" and I'd like to address hyaye's comment about it not being rude to ask, as long as you accept a no.  My feeling is that the organization did ask, was told no and they weren't accepting the 'no'.  If they'd accepted the no, the OP would never have been transferred to the CEO.  In this case, the ask wasn't being done by a person but by an organization.  So, to have multiple people within the organization ask is rude.


"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol