Falling Asleep - Rude?

[blarg314]

I'm a bit surprised how many people are saying it's rude---it seems to me that if you fall asleep sitting up in a group of people, you don't really have a lot of choice in the matter...it's something your body pulls on you, not something you do deliberately.

In general, if you're so exhausted that you physically cannot stay awake though a visit, then you either need to nap before the event, make your excuses and leave early, or not go.  There are exceptions where this sort of things is accepted (family gatherings, with close friends). However, if you're asleep you're not socializing, and you're making things awkward for the host and/or other guests (Should I wake them up? Let them sleep?  Can I go off and do something else while they nap?)

[boxy]

I don't think your dad is rude.  Why does Betty feel it necessary to rouse him?  I guess that action seems rude to me.

[Yvaine]

Growing up I can't think of ever having a family event where someone didn't nod off.  I thought it was just part of the deal. 

OTOH, if they are attending events outside the family they should cut back or leave early, if it is feasible.

Pod. I think everyone in my family has occasionally been The Sleeper, depending on what we had going on in our lives. I don't recommend it for outside gatherings, of course, but it doesn't faze me with family--and I have occasionally been the recipient of this tolerance as well. 

Well, if you're tired, why not go home to bed? Why force yourself to stay at a party you can't enjoy? You can leave before you fall asleep, I know I'd want to.

The sleep could have come over him suddenly, he could have been stuck there if his wife wanted to stay, and on top of all that, if he was driving, it could be safer to catch a few winks and then drive home vs. try to get home in the about-to-nod-off stage.

[pixel dust]

I think as long as it's at family parties, your Dad is fine. Now if he was falling asleep at a dinner party hosted by his boss, that's a different kettle of fish.

My Uncle is notorious for passing out at family functions, but it's excused. He's a little bit older and has been having some health issues so we toss a blanket over him and let him be. One Thanksgiving Uncle and a cousin's boyfriend both passed out in neighboring Laz-E-Boy's, We giggled about it and took a couple pictures, but didn't wake them up.

[shhh its me]

 Your dad might be rude , but I'd be surprised if someone didn't fall asleep during Thanksgiving dinner (well not during after dinner) and grandparents seem to get  a pass for napping on almost any occasion.  I also believe host sets level of formal and normally most formal win.  So if your dad is noddin off at home , he would be polite to excuse himself.  IF he is falling asleep at your aunts house then since it bothers her it would be more poltie to go home.   Family's have different levels of formal and in many many families someone nodding off for a bit is not rude but it's just like anything(dropping in without calling , helping yourself in the kitchen, telling people what to bring to dinner) you can do in some families it doesn't make it polite in others.   It rude because adult are suppose to know when they are tired and end the evening before they fall asleep. Note1 there are exceptions for illness/jetlag etc and spending a weekend has completely different rules then dinner.  Note2 ...You can also end up in the you just can't please some people situation , Aunt wants to visit with her sister till 10 pm but also want her BIL to stay up hours past how late he should.



Given all that Betty is still head and shoulders more rude.

[Hijinks]

I have a medical condition - my doctor is currently putting me through tests to try to figure out what's wrong - that causes me to be overcome with crushing fatigue at random times.  So often - especially at functions where I'm sitting on comfy furniture like a couch - I become very tired and have been known to nod off.  Everyone knows it by now and is ok with it.  If someone were to publicly call me out about it, I'd feel humiliated and never go to any event at that person's house again, so that I didn't subject others to my rudeness.

[Mannerless]

I'm a bit surprised how many people are saying it's rude---it seems to me that if you fall asleep sitting up in a group of people, you don't really have a lot of choice in the matter...it's something your body pulls on you, not something you do deliberately.

This!  I have had this happen. or almost happen rather, numerous times.  The worst was when I was sitting on a jury!  I could feel myself nodding off and I was trapped. On other occasions I try to remove myself from the situation and get a cold drink if I can or a strong cup of coffee if it is a work situation.  But believe me I had to practically bite my tongue and inner cheek off to keep awake during the trial.

[Ruelz]

Falling asleep because you're tired isn't rude.

Planning on falling asleep every time you go someplace is rude.

[MrsJWine]

How obnoxious. In my opinion, there's a huge difference between a social function and a family gathering. In my family, it's not a proper get-together unless some old guy (used to be my grandpa; that torch has been passed to my dad) is nodding off in the easy chair.

If the family is okay with it, I don't think it's rude. Betty is the one being irritating and rude.

[Firecat]

How obnoxious. In my opinion, there's a huge difference between a social function and a family gathering. In my family, it's not a proper get-together unless some old guy (used to be my grandpa; that torch has been passed to my dad) is nodding off in the easy chair.

If the family is okay with it, I don't think it's rude. Betty is the one being irritating and rude.

POD.

When my maternal grandfather was alive, he and my dad used to fall asleep, one in each recliner in my grandparents' living room. The resulting snoring duet used to be a family joke (still is, actually). It never would have occurred to me to consider either of them rude.

[DavidH]

It depends somewhat on circumstances and age, but I think falling asleep while socializing is typically rude. At a large family gathering, it is, to me, less rude than at a dinner party.

In general, if she was invited over to socialize and he is that tired, he should probably go to bed, rather than sleep in front of her.  It also suggests that she has overstayed her welcome if the host is falling asleep in front of her. 

If he is visiting her, then he needs to excuse himself when he is getting that tired and say it's time to go home. 

[bobsyouruncle]

Growing up I can't think of ever having a family event where someone didn't nod off.  I thought it was just part of the deal. 

OTOH, if they are attending events outside the family they should cut back or leave early, if it is feasible.

Seriously, Christmas and Thanksgiving almost always end up with someone curling up for a quick 20 winks before dessert - no harm no foul as far as my family is concerned.

Betty sounds like an absolute beast.

[O'Dell]

Someone needs to tell Betty that it's rude to chastise a guest in front of others.

[Judah]

Well, if you're tired, why not go home to bed? Why force yourself to stay at a party you can't enjoy? You can leave before you fall asleep, I know I'd want to.

The ideal would be the tired person goes home to bed. I don't think a quiet dozer at a party is the worst thing ever but it probably is going to make the host (or at least, me) feel uncomfortable.

I agree with this.  I think in most social situations it is rude to fall asleep, and it would be best to go home and get some rest.  But in a close family situation, it wouldn't bother me at all.  And I would never wake a sleeping person, that seems rude too. 

[BuffaloFang]

Now I feel bad; I just did this a couple of weeks ago. 

In my defense, I had woken up at 4:30am to get my workout in, worked all day, then a bunch of friends and my husband made plans to go out to dinner.  During dinner everyone decided to go to a bar afterwards (sigh)...and at the bar they all decided to hang out at a friend's house afterward. 

At around 1AM my body just quit and I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation.  I couldn't have gone home, as my DH was still there and we shared a car.  Not sure what else I could have done.