This is equal parts an etiquette related question and a rant about the willfully inconsiderate behavior that people exhibit and which adversely impacts others in already stressful situations. The commuter train station close to my home is currently expanding its parking lot to include a large, covered lot that in the long term, will greatly alleviate the horrible parking spot drought from which it currently suffers. At this time last year, arriving after 8:30am generally meant that you would not find a spot. Commuters adjusted their schedules accordingly. However, at the moment, the situation has become quite unbearable:
1. Now that there is construction on-going, one full row of spots adjacent to the work site is out of commission for safety reasons.
2. Given that the construction workers need to park somewhere and likely arrive early, that’s several more spots unavailable to train commuters.
3. We’ve been having a spate of inclement weather with colder temperatures and more relevantly, a fair bit of snow this winter. They are optimistically describing this as a “classic winter” but what it really means is that we have been spoiled with milder weather for the last 10-15 years and now Old Man Winter is back with a vengeance ?. Presumably, in order to efficiently clear snow when required, there are two snow plows permanently parked in the lot, taking up a further 8 spots.
4. Lots of snow means the big piles of packed snow and ice shoveled off the roads and the rest of the parking lot, taking up yet more viable spots.
5. There is a bank of 12 carpool spots at the front of the lot. These are free to anyone after 9:30am. Generally, if I was unable to be at the station by 8:30, I would delay my arrival until 9:30am in order to legally park in a carpool spot. Until recently, there have been 4-5 still available at 9:30, or at least 1-2 on the odd busier day. Now, they are all gone by 8:30. One explanation could be that the number of carpoolers has gone up. More likely though, desperate people are “risking it” in order to make their trains.All in all, the condition is pretty dire. Everyone is suffering and we understand that it’s short term pain for longer term gain. However, a bit of consideration from fellow commuters would go a long way towards improving things or at the very least, not worsening them. What prompted me to write was my mounting feeling of desperation as I scoured the lot for a parking spot today. I was later than usual and expected to have trouble but not to see the senseless waste of perfectly good parking spots thanks to morons who don’t know how to park. This is what I saw today:
1. One end spot taken by a dumpster (sad Christmas ? ) parked very close to the dividing line between spots. Fine, can’t do anything about that. Perfectly viable spot was available next to the dumpster, only, I couldn’t park in it because the moron on the other side had parked on the yellow line also, leaving a ton of space on his other side. I could have gotten my car in but would not have been able to get out of the car. I drove away sadly.
2. Another giant idiot parked over the yellow line, effectively taking up two spots. There isn’t enough snow to make the excuse “I couldn’t see the line” a valid one so I have no idea what he/she was thinking.
3. Quite a few angled cars, with angles severe enough that they are closer to or over the line on one side at the front and the other at the back, basically making their neighbors lives hell. People adjust so they can get out of their cars and eventually this results in waste down the row when everyone has adjusted enough.
4. Douchebag with a giant truck, once again, parked almost on the line on one side, inciting that same bad behaviour starting with his neighbor all the way down the line. I get it, large vehicles are harder to park but YOU bought the frakking car, YOU make the effort to park it properly even if it takes you 3 or 4 tries. Don’t make it my problem.All of the above are problems whether there’s a dearth of parking spots or not. They’re just easier when you can shake your head in disbelief and annoyance before moving your car to another open spot. I’m not really looking for a solution because there isn’t one. How do you make people behave? How do you make them stop to consider the impact of their negligence on others? I’d love to hear coping mechanisms or fun ideas or anything, really…. Otherwise, please join me in a rant! 0129-18
Category: Road Rage
Life Is So Interesting When There Are Mr. Speshuls Around
I just completed the long expected road trip to attend my mother’s last days which included a total of two rental cars, and nine buses (total of 7 transfers).
I do part time graphics editing for a few clients. I am paid a retainer to be on call. To this end the bag of geek gear and accessories had to travel with me. I carry extra laptop batteries.I also carry a true brick of a recharger unit, it is the size of a house brick and weighs 1kg. (It will run the laptop or charge the phone several times). This thing is big, huge, heavy, and required.
I start the five bus, 4 transfer ordeal at 3 am (bus is running late). Some fellow acting like he is super speshul, is talking on his cell, blathering, and he’s so much a wheeler dealer on a long distance semi-express during dark hours. Nobody’s sleeping because of him and apparently he’s been doing this since about 9 the previous night when this route started. (Some would be riding this one end to end, btw, I joined it a quarter in and would ride most of the way). Why the driver didn’t make him hang up I don’t know.
Most of the buses are now equipped with plug-ins, and really nice ones have USB plugs. Some, however, do not work. This was the case with this one, it blew something enroute. So phones were going low. Including our speshul snowflake. And a few hours yet to enough of a stop to be able to plug in at the stop.
Having to keep available, I dig out the brick, put the 12″ lightning cord on it, and plug in my phone. Mr. Super-Important reaches across the aisle, unplugs my phone and snags the end to plug his phone in. I pull away and he pulls the plug out and has my short cord.
He tries to reach for the brick again. I say very loudly “You Keep Your Hands OFF me and GIVE me my cord back!” He goes, “Gimme That”, and tries to grab again. I repeat loudly, “Keep Your Hands Off, this Is Mine and GIVE ME MY CORD BACK.”
The driver raises voice and asks what is the problem. The fellow repeats, “Give Me That!” I tell the driver the fellow is trying to take my phone charger and took my lightning cord. The bus pulls over. We are very late on schedule and we are still in a big urban area. Mr. Speshul tries to make a case for his so important need for my charger as his phone is almost dead. He is conducting BUSINESS and needs to recharge and I’m being selfish since I won’t share! It turns out he’s not a doctor or otherwise on call for something about as important (say transporting an organ for transplant)-the driver is asking these sorts of questions. Mr. Speshul gets removed from the bus. Either he can leave or have the authorities do so and be charged, so he was left several miles from the depot on the side of the road. With much protests about how I’m being the unreasonable one and won’t share because I have a large charger and his phone is dead.
“It Takes A Village” with the translation of “if you have something I need and you don’t give it to me you are a horrid selfish being” is getting old. Yes I got my cord back. 0505-17
Good lord, the audacity of some people! At least they are of some entertainment value as we horrify people with our tales of encounters with them.
Passive Aggressive Parking Notes
This did not happen to me, but was posted on our community Facebook page in hopes of reaching (and shaming) the offender.
The woman who posted is a realtor, and as is common in our area, her car features a large magnet advertising her real estate business with a professional head shot of the agent. During a recent trip to the grocery store, her husband had used her car and parked in a space reserved for combat veterans.
When he returned, the man found the following note posted on the car:
“I sure hope you’re really a veteran and not just an agent wanting a spot closer to the door. #sad” (Yes, the note included a hashtag.)
As it happens, the realtor’s husband is a veteran who lost both legs in combat. Had the note-writer looked into the car, the adaptive equipment would have been easily seen. Personally, I believe there was more than a smidge of sexism involved, since it seemed the writer of the note simply couldn’t fathom a car advertising a businesswoman being driven by a veteran. 1102-17
Driving Me Crazy
My family and I have taken many road trips over the years. We have driven to California, Texas, and Florida, among other states, from our Midwestern home. Growing up the rule has been that whoever is driving has control over the radio with some consideration given to passengers. Most of these trips have been taken with my father and both he and I follow this rule. When it comes to cell phones we try to refrain from having lengthy conversations because… 1) you should talk to the people in the car, 2) typically the volume of the cell phone users voice keeps other passengers from having a conversation and 3) the other people in the car are unable to listen to the music.
Driving with my mom is an entirely different story. As soon as she gets in the car she is on the cellphone. She goes so far as to plug her charger in so that the phone does not die. She expects the radio and other passengers to remain silent so that she can talk on the phone. She also expects control over the radio. While we do share some similarities in music she prefers slow love ballads while I prefer upbeat music to pass the time. I do limit my list to songs that are not violent or explicit in nature and I am sure to throw in songs she likes.
I will be taking a 3 1/2 hour trip with her soon and since I am driving both ways I told her that any and all calls will be restricted to two minutes. I have also told her that all music will be chosen by me because I need songs with fast tempos to pass the time and cornfields we will be driving through. I have given her the option of using her headphones or suggesting music but she feels I am being unfair. She wants to be able to use the time to talk to her friends. I reminded her that she can plug her headset in and talk but she doesn’t like using the headset because “it sounds weird.” I refuse to spend 7 hours listening to her talk on the phone like a school girl. When she is driving I put my headphones on to drown her out but of course since I am driving this isn’t an option. I have even suggested her riding in the backseat but she says she doesn’t want to do that and doesn’t understand why I am being so difficult.
Miss Jeanne, I have to know. Am I being difficult? 0302-12
Whoever is driving calls the shots in regards to the radio and other noise in the vehicle. This is for safety reasons, not preferences, since the alertness of the driver is paramount to the safety of everyone in the vehicle as well as other vehicles. My husband enjoys listening to audio books when he’s driving to keep him alert but if I were to listen to them while driving, it’s a sure thing that I will get glazed eyes and possibly nod off to sleep.
Bushy Bushes
I have a seemingly simple question and would like advice as to how to go about handling it.
I am fortunate to have a very short commute to work, less than fifteen minutes, the majority of which involves mostly back-country roads over/through some mountainous area. At the ‘T” intersection of one of the smaller roads and a larger, two-lane road is where I’m having the issue. To the left of the intersection is a drainage ditch with barrier and the road slightly curves in such a way that the barrier partially blocks the sight line of oncoming traffic. It’s possible to creep out _just_ far enough to see oncoming traffic without risking getting clipped on the front bumper by another car. To the right is a very curvy road that is also coming down hill towards the intersection. At the corner of this intersection sits a private residence. They have a row of bushes that runs along their property to the right of the intersection. I turn left to go to work. The bushes have several branches that obscure the field of vision to the right. In order to see oncoming, downhill traffic from the right, I have to creep far enough out into the road that I run a real and serious risk of getting broadsided from traffic coming from the left.
I know the street name and the house number, but I don’t personally know the people who live there. I don’t know if I want to go to the township first about the obstructed view. Would it be an egregious overstepping of bounds if I send a note via snail-mail (I’m too awkward to get out and march up to their door) and politely ask them to trim back the bushes? They wouldn’t need to be completely removed and they’d only need some of the more errant branches to be trimmed back. Should I offer to help them do it? Also, can I sign my initials or must I leave my full name (and corresponding contact information for the offer to help trim). I’m skittish about doing that because, worst case scenario, they turn out to be stark raving lunatics. Am I overthinking the whole darned thing? 0922-16
In the US, most county and state governments either have the rights to or outright own the easement from the road back into the landowner’s property for the purposes of possible road widening in the future, maintenance of drains and sidewalks, trimming tree branches from power and telephone lines that parallel the road and to keep vegetation that obstructs drivers’ views trimmed. I would contact the local government’s highway/transportation department and bring those branches to someone’s attention as a driving hazard. They would then contact the property owner to advise them of the need to trim the bushes and inform them that a crew will be out on a specific date to do that.