I recently attended a small, impromptu wedding. The bride’s mother was visiting from overseas, so the couple decided to quickly plan a small wedding. The couple created a Facebook event and sent out invites through that. In the description, they started off saying it was a NO HOST dinner/reception. I didn’t know what that was, so I googled what a no host dinner was: essentially it’s every person paying for their own meals and drinks (going dutch). I’ve never encountered such a wedding, but okay, my SO and I would go anyways, celebrate, we’ll just stick to a budget.
A week later the bride announces, also on Facebook, that they’d like monetary gifts and will be setting up a money tree. I was shocked by that, since the guests essentially were paying for the reception. My SO and I already RSVP’d so it’d be rude not to show up. This made us discuss that we’ll order small and give a monetary gift. Note: in my culture monetary gifts are a norm, but we also never expect the guests to pay for their own meals. If the gifts help offset the costs paid, great, but we don’t expect others to pay for our weddings.
When we get to the restaurant, the tables are still being set up, and quite a few people are looking over the menu, and I could hear some discuss splitting meals as this was a steak restaurant.
Once the tables are set up, we all find out that each place setting has a prix fixe menu: each table gets a calamari and beef tenderloin over rice starters, then each person chooses a soup or salad, and one of four entrees. Soft drinks are included. I asked if the waitress can bring me and SO a separate check, and I was informed of the following: the set menu is about $40/ person, with all the guests being added to a main bill for the party, and every bottle of wine opened will also be added to the main bill. Then, it’d be split evenly by the number of guests. I was beyond shocked. My SO stepped outside to calm down.
I then see some of the family starting to order wine and talking about refills. I wasn’t about to subsidize their drinking. I asked the waitress to put $40 on the bill for me as my contribution and gift to this wedding, told my SO to stay outside, and once I signed my receipt I left.
The bride sent me a text about 10 minutes later asking if we left. I told her yes because I didn’t expect for this arrangement nor for a bill I had no control over. I congratulated them on their wedding and wished them the best. 0113-15
Category: Just Plain Tacky
Merry Christmas, Princess Sister-In-Law!
My wedding is in three months time, and while this is my fiancee’s first trip down the aisle, it is my second, and therefore I am not having a traditional wedding gown. After many hours looking at pictures and patterns on the internet, I decided on a cocktail outfit of a soft gold straight dress with a tailored coat in a beautiful teal blue/green with embroidery in several shades of gold, bronze and deep teal green. Rather than a veil, I planned to wear a small fascinator with stripped feathers with just the tips left on. The whole outfit will look classy, simple and elegant.
As my mother is elderly and I have no sisters, and MOL passed away before I met my beloved, the planning is left to me which gives me freedom to have exactly what I want.
Just as I was congratulating myself on how smoothly the plans were going, my SIL, who even my fiance acknowledges is “strange”, rang me to say that she had bought my Christmas present, and it was something for me to wear on my wedding day, and it was just beautiful, she hoped I’d like it etc etc.! This is not a person who takes no for an answer. Needless to say, I was upset and waited with baited breath for Christmas day to see what she had bought.
Christmas lunch rolls around with the in-laws and the present opening starts. Yep, you guessed it, she bought me a tiara! According to SIL it’s real 22 carat gold, with real pearls and garnets and cost a lot of money. Actually it turned out to be dull gold spray paint on copper, in a vine leaf style with three big fake pearls and maroon glass beads stuck to it. You can even see the glue where the beads are stuck on! It’s not even possible to attach it using bobby pins due to the vine leaf style. To attach it to my head, a veil has to be sewn to the vines with a comb attached.
Needless to say I choked back tears and anger for the rest of the day. I will not be wearing the horrid thing on my wedding day, even though I know my SIL will never forgive me and will hold the grudge for the rest of our lives. What possessed her to even think that she had the right to choose what I would wear on my head for my wedding, without even asking? And why did SIL 2, who hates it, the tiara idea, and told my fiance that she wasn’t involved in any way, not tell her sister that it might not be appropriate? Looks like there will be at least one scene on our wedding day when SIL sees that I’m NOT wearing her present!. 1228-08
It’s been a few years since this story was submitted but personally I would have worn the tiara at the rehearsal and any bachelorette parties and made sure it became a family icon to be used for all future weddings, including sister-in-law’s.
Wedding Wednesday – You Will Catch This Bouquet
I am a single woman in the midst of wedding season, and although I enjoy weddings (who doesn’t enjoy seeing their friends happy and having an excuse to dance and eat cake?), I also dread them. I hate the bouquet toss and do my utmost to avoid it. I know other people love it, and I am happy to let them have their fun. I usually leave the room as soon as it is announced and go to the restroom or outside to wait it out.
Usually this strategy works, and it’s over with by the time I get back. Sometimes though, the bride insists on waiting until I get back. I then politely decline, but the bride (and other individuals) inevitably get pushy about me participating. They will not take no for an answer. I wish this only happened to me once, but it has happened on multiple occasions.
The worst occasion was at a college friend’s wedding. One of my friends (we’ll call her Melissa – not her real name) and I were the only single adult women there, and neither of us wanted to participate. I get that some people think it’s a cute tradition, but I don’t. I feel that it embarrasses single women for not being married by a certain age, and promotes the idea that a woman’s aspiration should be to get married, and she is somehow lesser if she is not. Melissa just didn’t want to be shamed for being single. It was literally going to be the two of us and a bunch of young girls.
We both politely refused several times and explained why we didn’t want to do it. We were seated at our table, and were surrounded by the bride, the photographer, and several of the bride’s relatives, who all took turns cajoling or guilt tripping us into doing the bouquet toss.
The wedding reception ground to a halt for 15 minutes while Melissa and I were harassed about joining the little girls for the bouquet toss. It was mortifying as everyone at the wedding reception stared at us. It only stopped when we (along with one of our already engaged friends) agreed to join the little girls for the bouquet toss.
We stood in the very back and the photographer took several photos before the bride finally tossed the bouquet (directly at Melissa and me). We stepped back and let one of the little girls pick it up.
This was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. I was pretty upset at the bride for putting Melissa and me in that situation, and not letting up after we explained why we didn’t want to participate.
I am attending 2 weddings this year. I am sure there will be bouquet tosses and think it’s great for those who want to participate. My question is, how do I avoid being pressured to participate? 0429-16
Dear Beloved Guest, Enclosed Please Find A Bill For Dinner You Missed
I was predicting this would happen years ago. And while this isn’t the first time I’ve heard of AWOL wedding guests being sent invoices for missed meals, this is the most newsworthy to date.
It was a couple weeks ago, Jessica Baker was getting ready to go to a wedding with her husband when she got a call from her mom.
“She called at the last minute and had something come up and said I can’t make it,” said Baker.
Her mom was supposed to watch their kids. And since the invitation said no children, that meant no wedding. But then this week, she received a bill for the dinner they were supposed to have enjoyed.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said with a smile. “It listed, we would have had two herb crusted walleye and there was also a service and tax charge.”
The total came to $75.90.
Read the rest of the story HERE.
Burgers On Airplanes
I was on a four-hour flight last week. I have a major problem with airsickness, so I don’t fly unless I have to, but, well, this time I had to. So I armed myself with my Dramamine, ginger tablets, etc., and boarded the plane. Then a guy sits down next to me with a full bag of food from McDonald’s. Even the unopened bag had a really strong, onion-y, fried food smell. As it happened, he stashed the bag in his carry-on and never took it out again during the flight (which made me wonder if he thought it would still be tasty more than four hours later?) so it wasn’t a problem for me. However, that got me wondering what the e-hell minions think about the subject of taking food on airplanes. I’ve always felt that, in such close and airless quarters, passengers should try to be as odorless as possible (including no perfume, and please, please, take a shower the morning of the flight!).
I do understand that a four-hour flight might make one peckish for something other than peanuts and pretzels, but I kind of feel like something like a turkey sandwich would be more polite than a burger and fries!So, what do you think? And, if he had brought out the food, would I have been rude to say, “I’m sorry, but I get really airsick, and I think that smell is going to make me throw up”? My airsickness isn’t his problem, and yet… 0818-13
With more airlines offering no frills travel which then puts the impetus on travelers to feed themselves during the flight, I think one must expect to experience all kinds of olfactory sensations. A McDonald’s meal is pretty ubiquitous but I do agree that it has a particular odor. I worked at a McDonald’s decades ago when a teen and there is a smell to the trashcans that is distinctly a McDonald’s smell no matter where you go in the US. It could have been worse. He could have brought sushi on board to eat.