Several years ago “Dave” and I were living in the same city. He worked at a local junior college part time. I was struggling with work and school. We met through a friend. And that’s how we started off. Since money was tight for both of us, mostly when we went out it for just for coffee. Or if dinner was involved we went Dutch. I never had an issue with this.
Now I know that he wanted to move the relationship to the next level, but I didn’t want to. He seemed fine with being friends. One year, he said that he wanted to take me out for my birthday and made it a point to let me know that he was “going to take me out.” Now, I did take that to mean that he was going to pick up the bill. Also he said that I could pick any place that I wanted to go (so no burget restrictions. And I wasn’t going to choose the Ritz). I wanted to do an Indian resturaunt. One that we usually walked by. The menu was on the outside with prices. The cost of the place would not have been a surprise. Granted this wasn’t the cheapest, but I didn’t choose the priciest either. As we were planning this ahead, he could have/should have known that dinner for two would probably run about $30 dollars (I would have stuck with soda or water to keep the tab down).
Again I will mention that money was tight for Dave. Dave postponed the birthday dinner saying that it wasn’t in the budget at a particular time. Fine, some bills come or there could have been some surprise. Having also forgone things because of no money I can understand.
Finally birthday dinner night arrives, actual birthday is long since past. We go out. Order reasonably priced items on the menu. No booze. Remember he had said that he wanted to take me out and postponed until he had some money. The check arrives. Dave looks at it, then at me and says “go dutch?” The bill was close to $35, but still. What annoyed me most was don’t make such a big deal about taking me out and then asking me to pay for my own birthday meal. Yes, I did pay half. Even if I had been the least bit interested, this would have killed any chance for him moving onto a higher level.
We did go out again as friends. Always dutch. That was fine with me. FYI he has since gotten married and is quite happy with two kids. A nice guy, just a little clueless. 0308-11