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Frenemies Have Overrun The House And Relationship

My fiance and I have just moved back to his hometown, and formerly he used to complain a lot about having a lack of friends and being very lonely. So it was great for me when so many people in his town decided that they enjoyed his company and wanted to be around him a lot. This was all fine and dandy for me, except I wasn’t used to the idea of guests dropping by with nary a notice. This makes me uncomfortable as I like to plan for when guest come over and don’t like them stopping by if I work the next morning and have to go to bed early.

The problem started to arise when these friends of his decided to invite themselves over everyday. Especially because most of the time it was because they wanted to drink and play video games (as loud as possible). They would often stay until three in the morning and even if they lowered the volume I couldn’t sleep because of the voices. They also stop by every single day, which is straining my relationship with my soon-to-be husband as we have no alone time and are always expecting any activity to be interrupted by a surprise guest.

I spoke to my fiance about this once in the past, and he thought I was being selfish because he’s never had many friends and I shouldn’t try to keep him from them. I was appalled at this response, but chalked it up to the fact he was drinking.

Is there anything I can do to get rid of unwanted guests without being impolite? Or am I honestly being selfish?  0401-13

You think your primary problem is the uninvited guests but it is actually your fiance.   He has prioritized his alleged friends over what should be his primary relationship with you.  He invests more time with them than you, he values their opinions above yours and he seeks their comfort at the expense of yours.    There is nothing wrong with fiance having friends and getting together with them once a week but as you report it, he has no balance or restraint in pursuing his friendships.   Someone is being selfish in this relationship and it isn’t you.

I refer to your guests as fiance’s “alleged” friends because their behavior is not that of people truly committed to caring for others.   Good friends look to do you good, to serve you and edify you.    They care for you, don’t exploit you, they have your back in difficult times.   In contrast, your fiance’s friends are using him and the home you have to serve their own needs for entertainment regardless of how it negatively impacts their hosts.  There is almost a symbiotic relationship occurring where fiance willingly gets used by “friends” who in turn feed his selfish ego to belong to some group of people, even if they happen to be selfish themselves.

If there were limitations placed on their visitations such as the party ends at 11 pm or the nights spent gaming and drinking restricted to once, maybe twice a week, the question is how these “friends” would respond.   Would they honor that request or would that become the impetus to terminate their friendship with your fiance?   Often dilemmas such as this are a defining point in a relationship where we get to see the true nature of people who claim to be friends.   Entitled, selfish people will move on to find another willing sucker to accommodate their wants whereas a true, good friend will recognize and honor a reasonable request.   Perhaps your fiance needs a wake up call that his “friends” are quite willing to destroy his primary relationship with his future wife solely in the pursuit of their immediate and entitled want to be entertained.

You need to step back and evaluate whether you want a lifetime of this because if you think it’s bad now, marriage will only make it worse.   Your fiance has a mistress and her name is “my friends”.   Are you willing to be lonely?  To have a disrupted household on a routine basis?  Would you want children raised in this relationship environment?


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  • schnickelfritz April 2, 2013, 7:15 pm

    Ergala, I just want to say, you have a good man. The late partying on “school” nights, dropping by, and then blaming the girlfriend or wife as Forrest did, I have experienced this with a past relationship, and one of my girlfriends had this same problem. What a jerk, to put his smart-alec remarks in writing on messaging! Thankfully his disrespecting you was documented, and that helped expedite getting your home life back in order. Young men, once they find a good woman, usually grow out of this stage. If Forrest ever finds a nice woman, he may figure it all out. Once all the “guys” hook up with their love, there is always the last guy standing, usually the biggest partying clueless soul, wondering when the bus left him on Lonely Street.

    I am so glad your hubby responded the way he did. May you live happily ever after! Your post warmed my heart!

  • Kate April 2, 2013, 8:02 pm

    I agree with all of the previous posters who have said it is time to have a talk with your fiance (preferably while he’s sober). If he’s not willing to see your point of view and reach a compromise, it’s telling you a lot about what your marriage will be like.
    It’s not like you’re telling him to never see his friends. Could he compromise by going out to a bar on a Friday night with his mates, so he can see them and you can get some rest and not have to worry about unexpected drop-ins all the time?

  • Michelle C Young April 2, 2013, 8:04 pm

    Do you have any vacation time coming up at work? If you do, I highly recommend you take a vacation – from your fiancé!

    It can be cheap, if necessary, but take some time. Visit a friend or relative, or just go camping, but get away from that house. See if he even misses you. If he does, then you have some leverage to tell him that you miss him, and your alone time with him, too. You also miss getting a full night’s sleep. And you miss being able to *properly* host your guests, by preparing for them, house, mind, and body, and being able to really feel like welcoming them into your home. And I agree that a schedule, once or twice a week, for visitors is a good idea. You want to support him and his relationships with his friends, but they should NOT come above you and your needs, nor between you as a couple.

    If he doesn’t miss you, while you are away for a few weeks, then you know it’s time to call the wedding off.

    Please do this before you put down any non-refundable deposits, OK? I’ve heard of people having all sorts of doubts, seeing all kinds of red flags, but proceeding with the wedding, simply because they had non-refundable deposits. Life is too short to ruin just because of a lost deposit.

    Good luck. I hope you get him to see the light and love you again.

  • Michelle C Young April 2, 2013, 8:21 pm

    You know what? It really doesn’t matter if you have vacation time from work. Take that away-from-home vacation, anyway. Who says you can’t sleep at the campground on a work night?

    I’m betting that your fiancé has work that starts around noon, and you have more standard office hours. Being nocturnal is fine, as long as you don’t keep your partner awake.

    When I was a child, my father worked nights. My brother and sisters and I were playing right outside his window, and keeping him awake. My mother tried talking to us about it, but it just didn’t stick. So, on Friday night, she let us stay up. Or, more precisely, made us stay up. We ate popcorn and watched Elvis movies on the TV, but by midnight, we were begging her to let us go to bed. We were sleepy! She insisted we stay up later, and understand what it felt like. The next morning, we all slept in (No way was Mom going to wake us up. She had peace and quiet! Plus, she was sleepy, too). But once we were up, you bet your bottom dollar that we were careful about waking Dad up!

    Now, I am not suggesting that you stay home from work some day, and loudly keep your nocturnal fiancé from sleeping. That would be rude. However, asking him to consider how he would feel if you did that, especially if he had to get up for work afterward, might be a good way to start the necessary conversation about setting limits on these parties.

  • Michelle C Young April 2, 2013, 8:32 pm

    The Elf – #29 – Yes, people who work shift work have weird schedules, and you have to work around them, and make what accommodations you can. My brother works shifts, my sister used to work nights, and now that I am working from home, I frequently stay up late and sleep in late, because of my body’s natural rhythms. We have learned to be considerate and work around such schedules in our house.

    It’s good that you and yours have come to an agreeable arrangement. The OP and her fiancé CAN do the same, if they are both willing to face reality (what works and what does not), and take responsibility for their actions.

    I say both, because while the OP is not to blame for her fiancé’s actions in putting the friends first, she does need to stand up for herself (when the fiancé is sober, please), and develop that polite spine. And she may very well have to take ownership of greeting would-be guests at the door to tell them “Not tonight, sorry.” It’s hard to do, at first, but it does get easier with practice.

  • Marozia April 2, 2013, 9:30 pm

    Evil Marozia says ‘why not charge them monies for rent & utilities?’
    That should get them moving out, especially when you present them with an itemised account for food, etc.

  • Jordy April 3, 2013, 12:29 am

    There are a lot of things that I don’t know about this situation – to me, it sounds like maybe fiance was depressed in the previous city, possibly from lack of friends, which can be a vicious cycle. Now, he has friends again, and is gorging himself. I agree with everyone who said that you need to speak with him when he’s not drinking, and develop a polite spine. I myself have had friends who have shown up unexpectedly, causing great inconvenience to my dear husband, who is doing his masters, and has to study. A lot. Here is what I have said to them: “oh, hi! Sorry, dh is the mayor of homework town tonight, so he needs peace and quiet. Where can we go instead?” I would suggest telling your fiance that your sleep and your home are precious to you, and really spending the time and the words to make that clear. Then, ask him if it is possible to 1. limit the number of games nights and 2. find another place to host. Or make a hosting rota. If not, there do need to be consequences. Like, “certainly, the boys can come over to play games, but every time they come, I’ll be sleeping at my sister’s, because otherwise I am useless at work.” Not nice for you either, I know! But you’ll be well-rested, and not having you there for a while may make him realize that he needs you around too. It is definitely a flag in your relationship if he thinks that the home is his alone… it’s your place of refuge also!

  • ItsyBitsy April 3, 2013, 12:29 am

    >>I spoke to my fiance about this once in the past, and he thought I was being selfish because he’s never had many friends and I shouldn’t try to keep him from them. I was appalled at this response, but chalked it up to the fact he was drinking.<<

    OP, have you never heard the phrase, “In vino veritas”? Loosely translated, it means that people tell the truth when they have been drinking so I’d be even more worried that he said this, not less.

    If you truly want to marry this guy, you’ll have to sit down and really talk to him about this situation. If he’s not prepared to compromise and still calls you selfish, then you can prove how unselfish you can be by walking out and letting him live his life exactly how he wants. You’ll be a lot better off without him.

  • Lisa April 3, 2013, 1:55 am

    I would like to hear from the OP. Did any of the advice help? 🙂

    I think Michelle’s C. Youngs advice, helpful as it may be, is much too passive agressive, and so are all the suggestions to ‘do something, and then see how he reacts’. This gives him power, and sets you up to be hurt when he doesn’t react the way you hope he will. And let’s face it, he probably will…
    It is better to be crystal-clear: THIS is what I don’t like, THESE will be the consequences. And then follow through.

    Personally, I feel he won’t change. Also… I fell for two guys in my life who told me ‘they were always alone, were bullied, had no friends…’ I felt sorry for them and loved them so much! My poor baby, always hurt by everyone…
    Well, that lasted until I realized they were just pretty crappy, grumpy, selfish people. No wonder they didn’t have any friends; they weren’t very nice themselves. Sometimes people have to resort to bribing other people to hang out with them for a reason… Do you want to be married to a guy like this? Always trying to make HIM feel better, cheer HIM up, making sure HE is happy, while he doens’t care about your feelings either way? Don’t fall into that emotional trap, because that’s what it is.

  • Sarah April 3, 2013, 4:11 am

    The lack of boundaries and respect has already been addressed. However, I’m really concerned about the involvement of alcohol here. Since this drinking is happening every single night now, and since I assume people aren’t walking home and OP isn’t driving them home, it’s reasonable to assume people are driving home under the influence. If any of his friends are under 21 (likely), providing them alcohol is a crime. And who’s paying for the alcohol? Is the fiancee going in a cycle of “booze-hangover-booze-hangover-booze-hangover”? Is he going in to work hungover?

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a drinking night once in a while. There’s nothing wrong with having a gaming night once in a while, or several gaming nights in a row if there’s a game you really want to beat. And there’s nothing wrong with having a glass or two of wine or beer at dinner every day. But this sounds like it’s steering hard left into alcoholism. Not good.

  • delislice April 3, 2013, 6:52 am

    I agree, the comment the fiance made about feeling validated by having so many “friends” deserves a deeper look. Because these pals aren’t friends, they are customers choosing to visit a convenient game arcade that provides drinks and snacks.

  • The Elf April 3, 2013, 7:05 am

    I agree, Ceallach.

    The whole “run now” and “it won’t get better” thing is a little premature, IMHO. They need to really talk about it and hash it out. If they can’t work it out, or if he agrees to terms and then violates them, whipping out the same excuse, THEN it might be time to leave.

  • Angel April 3, 2013, 8:05 am

    If you two are not married and have no children, I wouldn’t see any reason at all to try and work things out, if your boyfriend doesn’t seem to care about your needs now and is unwilling to compromise now, he likely never will. It’s not you, it’s him. And I wouldn’t leave. I would put his stuff out on the lawn and make HIM leave.

  • Anonymous April 3, 2013, 8:28 am

    Another thing, OP–How does Fiance get along with your friends? How would he react if you suggested having, say, a Saturday afternoon barbecue (with a definite end time) with both of your groups of friends? If he’s up for that, then that might help turn things around, because it’d show that he’s willing to incorporate your wants and needs, and your friends, into a gathering with his. It might also give his friends an idea of what takes place in a civilized social gathering–people interacting with each other instead of with a video screen, no one person being relegated to fetching drinks, etc., but a casual barbecue would still be less formal than a full-on dinner party, and therefore, it’d probably be more palatable to Fiance and his gaming buddies.

  • Elsie April 3, 2013, 4:46 pm

    ” He has prioritized his alleged friends over what should be his primary relationship with you. ”

    I’d leave him, personally, because he verbally attacked you and is trying to manipulate you to get his way. Manipulative people do not make good spouses. You can try and sit him down and make him compromise, but if he doesn’t, bail.

    People do not change.

  • Michelle April 3, 2013, 7:04 pm

    OP- I feel for you, truly, because I was going through a similiar experience but instead of “friends”, it was my husband’s family (3 times divorced mom, seperated, older brother living with mom and nephew of said brother who had been adopted by mom). Last night, 4/2/2013, I told him I was filing for divorce.

    He would leave work and go directly to his mom’s house on Friday after work and stay until the wee hours of the morning, 2 or 3 am. Get up Saturday morning, go to Mom’s stay ALL day and most of the night, again coming home in the wee hours. Get up Sunday, go to Mom’s and stay ALL day and come home around 7 or so. His mom calls him at home 4 or 5 times a night, every night, during the week. She calls him at work 2 or 3 times a day.

    He is totally dismissive of me and our sons. We would have been married for 15 years on May 1st, 2013. I noticed when we were dating that even though MIL was married, she would often ask my future husband to do things her husband should be doing. Or her daughter or other son, who were still living with her, should do. Example: She adopted older brother’s son when his girlfriend left and left the baby with him. If this child had a fever in the middle of the night, she would call future husband’s house across town and ask him to go to the store and get fever medicine and bring to her. She had a husband, grown daughter and grown son, who just happened to be the biological father of child, right there in her house but instead of waking one of them up to go the store, she called ACROSS town to have future husband to do it. They had to work in the morning but future husband worked second shift so he wasn’t asleep yet, she reasoned. The first time she tried that AFTER we were married, I told her that she needed to wake up one of the other adults living in her home and have them do it because MY husband was in the shower and we needed “adult” alone time that night.

    But other things would happen and I would let them go because I didn’t want to rock the boat; I didn’t want to be the controlling, harpy wife; I didn’t want to hurt the kids by divorcing because he wasn’t really a bad guy, he just wanted to be there for his mom. Things would get better and he’ll pay attention to us, I reasoned. Sound familiar?

    Recently, mom has been having an adulterous affair with 1st husband, father of her kids. And my husband is her confidant. He is also having health related issues due to his diabetes but he is more concerned with making sure she is ok than taking care of his health.

    Last night was the most difficult night of my life. PLEASE heed the advice you have been given and find out if he is a marrying kind of man who can be a caring, loving, responsible man or if he is going to continue to be the coolest kid on the block. Don’t go ahead and marry him because you think he will change after marriage because he won’t. In a few years, you will be up at 3 am, walking the floor with a sick baby and he’ll be downstairs gaming with friends.

    Find a man that deserves you, loves you, protects you, defends you, puts you first and wants to create a life with YOU, not his friends. DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS.

  • Anon April 3, 2013, 7:05 pm

    *hugs* to the OP. I’ve been in a similar situation. My husband also used to have friends over for gaming, basically whether I liked it or not, even if I was sick, or wanted to go to bed early or needed to study in a tiny flat with half a dozen noisy guys in the next room. They expected us to provide them with snacks and drinks (and when I say “we”, I bought them out of my own pocket because at the time I was a doormat, I knew snacks were expected of us as hosts and that my husband wouldn’t bother to buy them, or so much as clear off the table, get people glasses etc.), and if we didn’t would just raid our fridge and pantry (using up the orange juice I bought for breakfast by drinking it by the pint, eating my chocolate…). It was only once a week in my case (though since my husband would go out without me five nights a week a night when he was actually home was a real commodity) but that was more than enough, especially since we met on Thursdays I had to be at work from 8am to 9pm the following day then all weekend. I had words with my husband about it, and he with them (since they wouldn’t listen to me) several times and we gradually persuaded them to chip in for snacks, help out with tidying up afterwards (previously left for me to do while my husband drove them all home since they didn’t have cars and wouldn’t take a cab) and eventually to move the festivities to a more suitable night and sometimes cancel if I wasn’t up for it. Never did succeed in persuading any of them to host it at their house at least some of the time but it’s no longer a problem since a few other things in our lives have since changed.

    I agree with the admin, best to get this sorted out early. You can still work this kind of thing out after you get married, it’s not as if all negotiation stops on the wedding day and the way you interact with each other is set in stone from there on, but the sooner the better. You need to set some boundaries and stick to them.I wish I’d done it sooner.

  • Rebecca April 3, 2013, 10:33 pm

    Yikes, he doesn’t sound mature enough to be in a relationship. What I recommend, knowing what I know now: “This isn’t working for me. I’m moving out on my own, as living in a party house is not for me. I think we should try spending some time apart. If you decide later on that you are ready to ditch the party house, please call me and if I’m still available, we can try this again. I think it will be good for both of us to go our separate ways for now.”

    I realize this is drastic and the OP has given no indication of wanting to break up, but I can almost guarantee that a few years down the road, this is what she will wish she had said.

  • PM April 4, 2013, 9:57 am

    @Michelle, I’m so sorry. Would you mind if I asked how your husband responded when you told him you were filing for divorce? Was he surprised? Did he protest? Did it serve as any sort of wake up call for him?

  • Library Diva April 4, 2013, 10:15 am

    Hugs to all the previous posters who have shared the stories of their own relationships, especially to Michelle.

    As for the OP, she needs to talk to her fiance again when they’re sober. Leave the house, go get some ice cream or something, or even just go for a drive, and tell him how you feel. It will be a tough conversation. Keep the focus on what his behavior is doing to your relationship, reinforce the fact that you’re happy he’s found a group to socialize with (because I assume you are, right? Your main objection seems to the be lack of boundaries, not the friends themselves). You can even tell him that you’re seriously considering leaving over this, maybe not that bluntly, but with a statement like “This is not the kind of life I want to live.” Tell him he needs to start enforcing some boundaries with his friends, give it some time and see what happens.

    Best of luck to you. Only you know if this is a situation that can be fixed or not, but trust your instincts. I hope it works out for the best, whatever the outcome is.

  • PWH April 4, 2013, 11:54 am

    This sounds very much like when my now husband and I were in college. I can only assume that the OP is this case must be a similar age (early twenties). DH would have friends over until the wee hours of the morning gaming (LAN parties in the living room) or he would game with a headset on, three way calling with his friends. In our initial apartment, his computer was at the end of the bed. Try sleeping when he is yelling back and forth on the phone with his friends while playing games! After we moved into our new place, I awoke one night at around 3:00 a.m. to find he hadn’t come to bed. Assuming he was still gaming (luckily at this time the computer was in the next bedroom) I got up to see if I could get him to come to bed, only to see that some time after I had gone to bed, his friend had come over to game with him! After this, I told him I needed things to change. Staying up late or having people over after hours just wasn’t good for either of us or our relationship. All these years later (10+), luckily it is something he has (mostly) grown out of. He still stays up late the odd night, but now late = midnight since we both work regular business hours and any friends who come to visit leave by 9:00 p.m. because they also have to work.

  • Michelle April 4, 2013, 1:29 pm

    @PM- His initial response was a blank stare. When he finally realized that I was serious, he asked why. I told him much the same thing as I previously posted and that the boys and I could not always be last on his list of priorities. Also, that I understood he wanted to help his mom out and be a good son, but that she was a grown woman who needed to learn to help herself a little and not expect him to fix all of her troubles. He said that I was being selfish and trying to keep him away from his mom and no one was going to stop him from seeing his family. (I had sent the boys to movies so they would not have to witness this.)

    I’m sad, upset and hurt. I know that there are going to be times when I want to go back, no matter how I was treated. But I also feel like a weight has been lifted and I am hopeful that I will be happy in the future. I deserve someone who treats me with love and respect and he doesn’t.

  • Weaver April 4, 2013, 2:40 pm

    I was being selfish because he’s never had many friends and I shouldn’t try to keep him from them.

    The warning signals are flashing all over this one. Your fiance is either incredibly dense, incredibly immature, incredibly selfish or a combination of all three. I wouldn’t normally advocate drastic action, but if you’ve genuinely tried to address this with him and he can’t see (and adjust to) your point of view, I would seriously consider getting out of that relationship.

  • NostalgicGal April 4, 2013, 3:02 pm

    @ Michelle, hugs to you.

    Where I worked once, the fellow I replaced, came back to the company after about a year, and he told me the story of why he’d had to leave for awhile. His wife was like your future ex, all day every day and then some was go over to her mother’s and revolved around helping her mother. He would say I need you to help around here, and she’d toss a fit and go I have to go help MY family, and walk out on him and their 3 year old son. He is juggling 3rd shift, keeping the house going, and taking care of his son.. who would often be at the picture window looking for Dad to get home… and make him breakfast as he was hungry.

    The divorce was bitter, and in that state, the overwhelming odds (despite blatant jawdropping evidence to the contrary at times) was the children go to the woman. They were in court for the last rounds and the one that had to be settled was the awarding of the custody, and his now 4 year old son said in court, unprompted… ‘Mommy, I love you very much, but I want to go live with daddy.’ At that moment he said, the judge rapped the gavel and awarded him custody. He was also awarded a lot of other assets and such she’d demanded, as he retained full custody; and she stalked out vs going after any visitation.

    This had taken most of a year and his family’s support, and now, he was back to work. The company had taken him back in a position in a different area; and he was a rarity in that state, a male single parent.

    I so hope it doesn’t turn bad, and that it is a quick and clean break for you and the kids; to get onto a new life. You have my condolences Michelle, and my prayers too. You are doing the right thing.

  • Michelle April 5, 2013, 11:58 am

    Thanks for all the support and prayers!

  • Huh April 5, 2013, 12:03 pm

    I’m very sorry, Michelle. That’s tough. You are right, you do deserve someone who treats you with love and respect and puts a priority on you and your children. (I can’t believe he said no one was going to stop him from seeing HIS family, when your kids and you WERE his family.)

    I think a lot of us posters with very similar stories need to get a coffee together! 🙂

  • OP April 5, 2013, 1:17 pm

    Thank you all for the advice. I talked to my fiancee and he apologized for how he had acted when he was drunk, and told me that he too was feeling upset at people arriving at our house without being previously invited. I suggested that his friends might be using him for a party spot. He said that the one guy definitely was, but has a bad social disorder and does not take hints or even a polite spine for a ‘no’ answer. Unfortunately, for him we might have to tell him off completely and tell him we have no prior relationship and if he keeps showing up we’ll have to call the police for trespassing. He is a very aggressive, strange guy and I had hoped to do it some other way, because I’m afraid he may try something rash if we tell him the truth.

    The other guy is under a lot of stress and is drinking far too often because of it. My fiancee is going to talk to him and tell him the same thing as the first guy, that we plan to have guests and don’t like people showing up randomly to party. Him being a next door neighbor is frustrating, as every time he gets drunk he wants to pop by for a visit. All in all, I think it was a bit of a communicate problem on my part. My fiancee feels terrible about it and has told me not to worry about it, because he will take care of these unwanted guests himself. I’ve also noticed that he’s now asking me if it’s okay whenever he wants to invite guests over.

    To be honest, I think I was overreacting a bit. If I had just sat down with him and talked in the first place, this probably wouldn’t have happened.

  • Mrs. Lovett April 5, 2013, 2:23 pm

    OP: So glad that this was simply a communication issue! Thanks for the update! Sounds like your fiance made some mistakes, as we all do, but the guys who not only admit their mistakes but seek to correct them are definitely keepers.

    It might have been an overreaction on your part, but overreacting and getting emotional is a very common side effect of sleep deprivation. Just keep communicating with your fiance, and try to do so when you’re both in a calm and rational state when possible. Best of luck to you both!

  • Michelle April 5, 2013, 2:57 pm

    OP- glad to hear your finance is going to work on this issue with you! I hope it all works out for you two!

  • LadyPhoenix April 6, 2013, 11:54 pm

    Glad to know the fiance is listening to you, or at least enough to verbally state it.

    When it comes to guy #1, I definitely say you need him out of the house. Mixing alcohol with agressiveness is recipe for disaster. Stand up to him, tell the guy to keep out of the house and never return, and keep a close eye on him and a close finger on the phone in case if he tries anything.

    As for guy #2. Sounds like he’s trying to use you guys to escape from his problems through fun and alcohol. You guys need to sit down with him, tell him to get help regarding his current issues (marital, financial, whatever) and that you guys will only provide HEALTHY support if your fiance and he decide to stay buddies. You will NOT be enablers for any destructive behaviors by fueling his possible alcoholism.

    Speaking of which, seriously limit the booze, ESPECIALLY during the later hours.

    Considering you were starting to become sleep-deprived, it’s understandable you would be extremely upset.

  • Michelle April 8, 2013, 9:31 am

    @Huh- I think coffee would be great! National Meeting of the EHellions. Let’s go to Hawaii. My great-aunt used to say if you cannot fix it in Hawaii, it could not be fixed!

    On a serious note, though, I really do thank you all for the support and encouraging words. It really helps to know that other people have experienced and come through similiar situations. It makes me hopeful for the future.