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“There are some basic, fundamental rules to life and personal relationships- and that the poised will someday be victorious over the tacky heathens of the world!”
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Ok… Who was watching the last flight I took?
All of those annoying things were wrapped up in the one person sitting next to me.
That was hysterical. And true!
Wouldn’t you know, this appears the day I’m flying. Forewarned is forearmed. Polite Spine packed!
I <3 Patrick Stewart.
I’d say the only one they forgot was the “now the plane has landed and gotten to the gate, I must IMMEDIATELY STAND UP and clog the aisle, even though I am in row 25 and it will be at least 10 minutes before I can disembark. Oh, so sorry, is my arse in your face? Too bad!”
I love this. Though, I have to admit – if it was Sir Patrick Stewart doing the annoying things, I don’t think I would mind one bit. Hehe. 🙂
Thank you for sharing!
Oh agreed.
I don’t know – I have a deep and abiding love for Sir Patrick, but I don’t think I would even want to listen to HIM talking non-stop for the entire flight. Of course, he is far too much of a gentleman to do any such thing!
I’d tolerate any of those, if it meant sitting next to Sir Patrick Stewart! But in all seriousness, they forgot the person who won’t stay within the bounds of their own seat. And no, I do not mean the people who are very large and can’t help it. I mean normal sized people who: 1) put the armrest up, without asking if it is OK; 2) people who allow their personal belongings to overhang their space; 3) people who feel the need to keep their elbows as far from their bodies as possible, when typing, reading, eating, or doing whatever; and 4) people who feel that because they have long legs, they have the right to some of your legroom.
This is why when my husband and I travel with our children, if there’s a choice between having to manage our three kids for the whole flight or sitting in the lone seat near another adult, I’ll take managing the kids just so I can swipe their legroom. 😀 I’d much rather have to be in charge of handing out snacks and activities and escorting the kids to the lav the whole flight if it means I can also share their seat-space.
Amen! During my last flight, my seatmate was absolutely incapable of keeping his elbows to himself. He elbowed me in the ribs every time he moved (or so it seemed). He wasn’t particularly large, nor am I – I can only assume that it was due to the narrow, cramped seats. Fair enough, but he didn’t apologize ONCE.
In all my years of flying, I have never had someone clap when the plane landed.
Maybe it’s just a Canadian thing, then. I’m from Canada, I’ve flown a few times over the course of my lifetime, and we usually applaud the pilot after landing. I don’t know if it’s to say, “Hey, that was a difficult thing you just did; way to go,” or “Thanks for not killing us,” but I’ve always just gone along with it.
This used to happen so often on my flights that I notice I start cringing in anticipation.
Happens in America too.
I’ve only ever had a landing applauded when I’m travelling to or through North America, and I too find it very odd. The first time it happened, I looked around wondering “What’s everyone clapping for? The pilot’s just doing his job.” Its not like any of us get regular standing ovations at work.
I love Patrick Stewart in everything he does, and yes he was hamming shamelessly in this skit. I think it just added to the humour.
I’d say it happens about a quarter of the time when I fly. The only time I ever joined in was a flight from Moscow to NYC with terrifying turbulence, thanks to an out-of-nowhere storm. We ended up spending about two extra hours in the air, seatbelt sign on the whole time, and I think pretty much everyone on that plane had imagined the worst at one point or another on the flight. That pilot deserved a standing ovation!
The only time I ever encountered applause upon landing, it was on a flight home for Christmas. One of the flight attendants had made the “sit down, put your seat backs and trays up, we’ll be landing shortly” announcement, and then proceeded to sing “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” while the pilot landed. There was applause, but for the flight attendant’s singing rather than the landing itself, I suspect.
Once, all the passengers erupted into enthusiastic applause when we landed…we returning to our originating airport due to an engine (one of two–small aircraft) being out. We had been instructed in and were in full ‘brace position’ when we landed. You can bet your sweet bippies we were elated to land safely!
I’d never heard of that, either. The only time I’ve encountered applause is when the pilot successfully navigates through a tough patch of turbulence. Then one of the flight attendants will say something over the speaker such as, “Didn’t our pilot do a great job of dealing with that? “, then everyone will applaud.
Happened to me coming home from Spain (to Chicago- 14 hour flight). I think people were ridiculously excited that the flight was over.
I’m going to agree with everyone that if Sir Patrick Stewart was doing all of this? No problem!
I love Patrick Stewart. He wouldn’t have to order me to report to his ready room twice!
LOL! But, would you “Make it so”??
The last time I flew I had to sit next to a man with massive untreated periodontal disease. The breath coming from his mouth smelled like an open sewer. Yes, it was honestly that horrific. Thank heavens he actually slept most of the trip. Since I don’t sleep on flights I would have been stuck as it was a completely full flight and there were no other seats to move to.
I’d tolerate any of those people if it were Patrick Stewart. Just absolutely adore him.
I did think he overacted it all though and was chewing up the scenery so to speak. I would have preferred if it wasn’t so outrageous and if he didn’t narrate himself.
I agree with Shoegal, Sir Patrick was really over the top. Very unlike him.
While all of those things would drive me up the wall with anyone else, Sir Patrick could do anything he wants and it would be OK with me.
As most of us here, I absolutely admire Patrick Stewart.
But if I had the chance to sit beside him on a plane, and he did any of these things, I’d stop admiring him pretty much then and there. Okay, maybe with the exception of the clapping, which is annoying but no real reason to despise someone for it.
Why is bad behaviour more tolerable if a famous person does it? If anything, I find it more appalling than from a “normal” person.
Patrick Stewart is such an apologetic seat climber. My seat climbers never apologize! They just do it as if you’re a hindrance and an inanimate obstacle they must ford to get to the bathroom.
Not sure if this was polite spine, or aggravated traveler, but last time I had a climber, I blocked him with my arm and said (LOUDLY) “hey, rather than have you shove your crotch in my face, I’d like you to WAIT while my husband and I stand up and make room for you, ‘kay?”
Yeah, my husband couldn’t decide whether to die from embarrassment or laughter…
They forgot the “carryon space hog,” who puts their large item, their small item, and their coat, scarf, hat, etc. into the overhead bin. Especially people who do that on a full flight.
Ugh. Especially the ones who do that right after the flight attendants/gate agents have made an announcement that the flight is very full and to please NOT do that. Or who roll their eyes or complain when the flight attendants try to get them to put the coat and small item under the seat in front of them instead.
Yes! People who feel the need to bring everything onboard with them are such a pain and so inconsiderate. Just bring a few items – you’ll survive without the rest.
To present another perspective — I always fly with my stuff unless I’m flying Southwest (JetBlue hasn’t made it into my state yet) because I can’t afford baggage fees most of the airlines charge. But, I pack light and pack tight (took a week’s vacation and managed to get everything into a standard size backpack and a laptop bag) and I don’t care how big my smaller carryon is, it goes under the seat and I deal with it. It’s a good incentive not to pack more than I need.
What about the passenger who has bought perfume in a tester box and then proceeds to try them all out; and no, madam, I do not wish to have a ‘sniff’..
That would be grounds for justifiable homicide. I’m VERY sensitive to many perfumes – resulting in massive headaches if I smell them. If I was next to someone who was testing out a variety of perfumes, I’d have to request a seat change.
Me too, Vicki.
The Squire and I flew to the UK – always an overnight flight – in the days before every seat had its own TV screen. We weren’t interested in the movie, so we put in earplugs and covered our eyes, and tried to get some sleep. The two young women behind us kept grabbing the back of our seats and putting their feet at the base of the seat to hoist themselves up so they could see the movie. I was annoyed, to put it mildly, but I knew if I opened my mouth I’d probably start an international incident, so just asked the stewardess for a Band-Aid for my tongue and tried to get some rest.
The clapping may be silly but it’s a few seconds and it’s over. Compared to a 3-5-8-12 hour flight sitting next to mr. stinky, or ms. i-have-a-baby-so-i-need-special-treatment or mrs. can’t shut up – that would not be on top of my list.
However, two that they didn’t mention are the seat-recliners – you know, the ones who recline *all* the way back so they’re in your lap – and the ones with the loud music (that you can hear through the earphones)
and seat me next to patrick stewart and i probably wouldn’t mind any of that…
What airlines still have planes that let you recline that far back? Every plane I’ve been on in the last ten years or so only lets you recline two inches or so (unless you were unfortunate to be seated in the very back row on a plane where those don’t recline at all).
Most of the flights i take are trans-atlantic (between europe and US or Israel and US) which are between 7-12 hours so they have seats that do recline that much, even in coach.
Interestingly enough, in 2008, when my sister and I were on a flight to Florida, the person in front of me actually said, “excuse me, would you mind if I reclined my seat?” Since I knew the seats didn’t go *too* far back, and I had enough leg room, I said, “go ahead.” I found it very nice that he actually asked first. Before then, I had never seen anyone do that before!
I absolutely loved it! Sir Patrick was right on tack with the annoying people.
I’m with all the people who would let the Chatty Charlie go on if it were Patrick Stewart.
Sir Patrick’s hamminess is understandable. Given all of the travel he probably does for film and stage, this was probably a very cathartic skit for him.