My husband and I have been married nearly 30 years. It hasn’t been all smooth sailing, but I doubt most marriages are. We love each other and reared two terrific kids together, both of whom recently moved out so we’re in the early stages of empty nest syndrome. We are really enjoying each other’s company.
Several years ago, we had some pretty serious marital problems. Neither of us sought counseling at the time, which is totally on us and no one else, but I did confide in my sister that things were rough and my husband and I were unhappy. That situation has changed dramatically (yes, we did get good counseling), but Sis can’t seem to let it go. Over the years, she has made snippy comments to and about my husband, and in fact has been openly rude to him on more than one occasion.
A week or so ago (shortly after Christmas), I received a package from my sister. It contained a couple of small gifts to me, and a card addressed to me. Just me. My husband’s name was nowhere to be seen. However, both the card and the return address had Sister’s name along with that of her spouse, who happens to be a woman.
So my question is this: Should I say something to her about leaving my husband’s name off the Christmas card? I could see it if it were a birthday card (my birthday is shortly before Christmas), but this was a Christmas card! Knowing my sister as I do, if I had sent her a card and failed to acknowledge her wife, all hell would break loose. Of course, I would never do such a thing regardless of how I felt about her, her wife (I really do like her), or their relationship, but this omission of my husband’s name hit me pretty hard. Am I being petty? Or do I have a legitimate gripe? If I were to bring it up to her, I’m sure she would just tell me the truth—she’s always been good about that (which is why I know she isn’t overly fond of my husband), and if she honestly forgot (sorry, I doubt that) then shame on me, but I am inclined to believe this was a deliberate snub. And I believe this because it’s not the first one. 0104-16
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