My partner is friends with another man, and was best man at his wedding. The couple are quite nice, a bit uptight and anxious but we do see them quite regularly. The problem comes when it is time to pay for things. On three occasions now, we have paid for something and they say they will pay us back. It has never happened. I don’t know if they have simply forgotten that they owe us money, but by now they owe us over $120. My partner and I are not fabulously wealthy, so we would appreciate the money that we are owed. The trouble is, how to ask? Should we simply write it off and never pay for their stuff again? I feel like directly asking for the money is rude, but I have other friend who have the money the very next time we see them. What to do? 1211-16
Write it off and be determined to never pay another cent for this couple. They clearly have no entertainment budget and rely on you and your partner to fund these things. It’s a bad habit to have in a relationship. Your resentment will continue to mount when there is no reciprocity and the inequity in the relationship grows. This will require some planning on your part. If you dine at a restaurant with this couple, be sure to tell the waiter prior to ordering that there will be separate checks and say it firmly and loudly enough that the other couple hears it. When the checks come and your friends look piteously at you to please pay theirs as well, you explain that in order to save money (for a house, etc) you have switched to a cash only budget and you are carrying only enough cash to pay for your meals.