It used to be that when you did not invite someone to an event, you just kept quiet about it. Etiquette dictated you did not discuss events to which you were invited with people who were not invited. If you were uncertain whether or not an individual was invited to the event you did not discuss it in their company, just in case. Technology and social media sharing have effectively removed that option; it is hard to tactfully not mention to someone that you did not invite them when attendees are posting pictures of the event after the fact. Obviously we cannot control the visibility of our friends’ media, so what is the proper way to handle this type of situation?
For background, my friend recently had an engagement party to which several people she does not like were not invited. The party was tactfully kept off the radar on the social websites we frequent, but then people shared photos taken at the party after the fact. Apparently one non-invitee, an acquaintance on the fringes of our social circle, is very offended that she was not included; frankly, I can’t imagine why she is surprised considering the shabby way she has treated my friend in the past. Nevertheless, she is posting snarky comments on the photographs taken at the event, such as “That looks like it was a blast. Too bad I wasn’t invited. Ouch.” My friend is uncertain how to address this, and myself as well. Of course, my friend was not obligated to invite someone to a social event if she did not want them there, particularly since she has no intention of inviting the woman to the wedding. However we are at a loss as to how to handle this woman. We have tried ignoring her for a few days, but she continues to make nasty, passive-aggressive comments. It seems like it would be inappropriate to ask attendees to filter their posts so she can’t see them, and it is a little late for that anyway. Do we just continue to ignore her? Is there something to be said to her? I would not think she is owed an apology, but am I wrong? 0927-11
Snarky comments are a dead give away, in my opinion, as to why someone was not invited to a private party. So, I trust that others can see the same attitude of petulant entitlement and dismiss it. I’d ignore it and there is certainly nothing wrong with blocking a person from commenting either. If she’s on the “fringe of our social circle”, set her free to pursue other friendships elsewhere by snipping the fringe off.