Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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Baby Showers


Jul-Dec 2000 Archive

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I had an old friend, not very close, but we had known each other for quite a few years, and I discovered that she was pregnant. My friend (whom we will call Eve) slipped in a email to me that she was almost 7 months pregnant.

I wrote back, congratulating her and her new husband on their pregnancy, and then let her know that I would love to attend her baby shower, if she knew of anyone throwing her one. The next day, I had an email from Eve's close friend, asking for my home address. I sent it to her. A few days later, I received a nice invitation in the mail asking me to attend Eve's shower, which was only about 10 days away. The invitation asked for an RSVP. Before I even had a chance to call and let the hostess know that I would be coming to the baby shower, I received an email from Eve's husband...whom I had never met. He told me flat-out that Eve did not want me to attend her shower and that she would be very uncomfortable with me being there at that particular occasion.

This came as quite a shock to me; I had only had a good relationship with this woman, never an argument or a bad word between us! The husband went on to say that I shouldn't "ruin such a special event for Eve by showing up as an unwanted guest," and if I wanted to know why Eve was so uncomfortable with me that I should contact her.

Besides being extremely hurt by such a negative and mean email that was completely unwarranted, I wondered three things: 1. Why did Eve even have her friend contact me about attending the baby shower in the first place, if she didn't want me there? 2. How can anyone "ruin" a baby shower? You bring a nice gift, play some silly games, and eat cake. I don't see how that could be a negative event. 3. Why did she find it necessary for her husband to contact me, a man I didn't even know? Didn't she have the guts to email me? Needless to say, I never wrote to Eve again. And I have heard nothing from her since.


I am part of a neighborhood playgroup along with "Brenda", who lives nearby. At the time, our group was growing quite large, and several of the attending mommies were usually pregnant at any given time. At one point, three mommies were due around the same time, and although it wasn’t the first for any of them, "Brenda" decided to throw a shower for all three during one playgroup session. All of us non-expecting mommies all decided to pitch in.

As you might imagine, it was destined to be an informal affair, what with toddlers and infants involved, but nonetheless each mother took on one of the tasks (decorations, cake, food) for the event. "Brenda" volunteered to have the affair at her house, and offered to have food, which she said she could prepare along with food for a party to be held the night before (most took pride in catering the playgroups when they hosted).

When we all arrived to set up early, the mommies all had done a fantastic job, except for "Brenda." Her house was still disheveled from the night before, and the food she had prepared? Scraps and leftovers from the previous evening, some not looking too well preserved, and being dinner-oriented – for a morning party. The only untouched food was a bowl of nuts. Not one of us ventured a hand near any of it, and my cake became the only choice. But that wasn’t the clincher.

At one point in the conversation about having second and third children, "Brenda" remarked (loudly and proudly) how, when she was pregnant with her second, "Denton" (then about 18 mos.), she had wanted to get an abortion but changed her mind. Everyone went wide-eyed, and while the silence thudded through the room, I noticed "Denton" standing there watching us with a smile. How strange that we must feel such shame for some who are strangely never affected by it themselves. Babyshower0128-03

Miss Jeanne's blood boils at the insensitivity of idiot parents who would let it be known within their child's hearing that the child was almost aborted.  When "Denton" gets old enough to understand what that word means and the implications of the choice his mother was considering, it would not be surprising if "Denton" has some problems.  

I was 8 months pregnant when my sister-in-law threw me a baby shower at a community hall. There were a lot of people there and it was great. UNTIL, she started showing her true colors. Let's see...First, she dragged me to this table where the favors were displayed. She asked me if I liked them and I said they were beautiful candles. She then proceeded to say "You better like them, they cost me $6 each!" Half-joking or not, I was appalled at her tacky comment. Then she wanted me to wear a huge corsage. I let her put it on me, and I started to dance. It fell off and I didn't notice until she said "Where's the corsage? I paid a lot for that, you better put it back on!"

 I was getting annoyed now. Besides my swollen ankles and endless trips to the bathroom, I had to deal with this woman on my special day. I took a few breaths and dug into the food. Before I knew it, it was time to open the gifts. I sat on the chair with my sweetie and he helped me open the gifts and show everyone for the "oooh's and aaaah's". My sister-in-law was in front taking pictures and after about 10 minutes of gift-opening, it was clear that this was going to take a while..there were tons of boxes to open! Well, my sister-in-law decides to get nasty and say "Hurry up, we don't have all day!" 

Then she gets up to make her speech and congratulates her brother and thanks everyone for helping with the shower. She then proposes a toast and embarrasses me like no one ever has in my LIFE. She says "And I hope Jennifer keeps the baby in the family for a very long time"...I could have given birth right then and there. What did she think, I was going to give birth and run? Anyway, it definitely ruined my shower, and I will never forgive her for her behavior.

When I was pregnant with my son (after waiting 7 years with no luck), my deceased father's family (Methodist) decided to throw a baby shower for me. GREAT! They invited my mother's family (Catholic) also. Now, these two families DO NOT get along. So I was expected (unsaid) to keep the peace (at 8 1/2 months pregnant). Now, my father's family is VERY proper and my mother's family is somewhat not. A

nyway, I was due 8/28. The baby shower was scheduled 8/19. Yep, you guessed it. The Boy decided to be born on 8/18. Instead of rescheduling the shower or bringing all the guests up to see me and my son (the nurses suggested that) or even having my husband attend the shower, my father's family (very "proper" individuals) had the shower anyway!! They didn't bring me cake, or punch, or anything. Didn't even take any pictures... My mother's family told me later that one family sat in one room and the other family sat in another room. I, of course, begged the hospital to be allowed to go but they said it was my first child and I should rest. I cried all day. My father's family never said anything but "you sure missed a nice party."     Babyshower0113-03

Hi all I am from Australia and have been thoroughly enjoying these stories and am satisfied that there are people out there who should remain behind locked doors and not let loose on society at any cost! 

My story begins with my partner's sister who was pregnant and her bf's mum was throwing her a baby shower. Now bf's family is quite large and my partner's sister Bec has a small family. So Bec begs me to come to the baby shower as she hasn't got many friends and none of the family were going to turn up. So I say that I will go. 

I turn up to the shindig with an expensive gift for the baby. I was greeted by a mutual friend of Bec's and myself, we were the only two people on Bec's side to arrive for the baby shower. Bec's bf's family was quite large and every relative within cooee distance was there, it was a nice event until Bec, mutual friend and I were outside having a cup of tea together. Bec turns to me and says " if you ever get pregnant to my brother don't expect me to come to your baby shower or do anything for the kid either!" the gall of this girl, I was so taken aback by this comment that I soon left the shower and remained quite upset for a longtime after.    Babyshower0118-03

Hello, I have a story that I thought your readers might enjoy, though after reading some of the others, it doesn't sound so bad! 

A few years ago, my husband came home from work with a baby shower invitation, so I asked about the woman, and mentioned that it was strange to invite men, but maybe times were changing. He then told me that the mother-to-be HERSELF stood at the front entrance to the building and passed out the generic, un-addressed invitations to every single person who came in, both men and women, whether she knew them or not. Needless to say my husband did not attend a baby-shower for this woman who was barely an acquaintance, and hadn't even addressed an invitation to him!


My husband and I socialize with several other couples (most of the guys are running buddies). There's one couple, Linda and Joe. There's another couple, Barbara and Ben. Barbara and Ben got married after she became pregnant, and, for a number of years, they were the only couple in our circle with a child. As a result of the unplanned pregnancy, they went through some hellish years financially and Barbara had to drop out of college. As a result, Ben swore that their little boy would be an only child. Barbara felt really insecure about not finishing college and kind of flaunted her status as a mother to make herself feel better. For example, if someone got a new job, she wouldn't congratulate them; instead, she'd talk about how she was doing the only work that mattered by being a mother. It was annoying, but we felt that she only did it because she was insecure and tried to ignore it.

Well, Linda and Joe became pregnant. I bet my husband dinner at our favorite restaurant that Barbara would be pregnant within six months because she wouldn't be able to deal with the loss of "status" Linda's pregnancy would mean for her. By the way, I really enjoyed that dinner. In about Linda's seventh month of pregnancy, we all went together to throw a shower for her. We invited her family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. I think about 40 or 50 women came, but that's just the kind of person Linda is: people really wanted to wish her well. She got lots of nice stuff.

Sadly, about three weeks before her anticipated due date, Linda visited her doctor and he could find no heartbeat for the baby. The little girl they were expecting had died in her womb. She ended up having to have a c-section to deliver the dead baby. It was utterly horrible. I ended up spending the day at the hospital after the surgery trying to console her and Joe and just helping however I could. Other friends stopped by, including Barbara and Ben. After her expressing her sympathy, Barbara said, "So, what are you going to do with all the gifts you got at your shower? Because, well, nobody threw me a shower [editorial note: because it was her second baby] and there are some things you got that I could really use." Linda murmured something about how she hadn't decided what to do yet, which I thought was incredibly gracious of her under the circumstances. Fortunately, they didn't stay long.

On a happier note, Linda and Joe had a beautiful baby girl about two years later. She kept all of her shower presents and is happily using them with her new baby. Babyshower0203-03

I guess I must know some of the rudest people ever as I keeping on thinking of stories to send in. This one is related to baby showers. I was invited last year to a baby shower for the wife of a classmate. I didn't really want to get her some clothes that the baby would quickly outgrow or yet another stuffed animal so I spent a few hours selecting some classic children's books that I wrapped up quite cutely. The books were some that they could enjoy reading to the child for a few years and would be a great start for his/her library. I've done this for other showers or birthday parties for young children and usually it has been well-received.

Well, the mother-to-be let me know by her reaction that she was not pleased with the gifts with a sarcastic comment about "Oh yeah, this will be useful" after opening them. Later a hostess asked if I could return them and get something from the baby's registry. I told her I couldn't because I no longer had the receipts -- I didn't add that I wasn't going to spend any more time on shopping for someone that rude. Of course, I didn't receive a thank you note.

Fast forward a few months, and I receive an invitation to a shower for the wife of another classmate, who was friends with the other wife. Apparently, they compared notes on who had brought what to the earlier shower as I was contacted by her husband to not bother coming if I was going to bring another "stupid gift." I definitely chose to attend that shower and didn't get the couple a gift!    Babyshower0206-03

At the after-Christening 'party' of my Godchild the time came to open the presents. The baby was only 4 months old, and had been put down for a nap in a different room. The baby's mother ("Karen") started opening the presents with everyone standing around 'oohing' and 'ahhing'. I had been helping with the cleanup and came in once the gift unwrapping was already well under way. Being close to the parents of the godchild (obviously) Karen pulled me next to her and started sorting through the unwrapped gifts saying 'Look what Aunt Cecily got me!' and 'Look what the neighbors got me'. I just looked at her and said 'Don't you mean look what they got the baby?' And she's like 'Oh yeah, sure, that's what I meant'. Two minutes later as she opens more presents she's still saying 'Look what I got!'. I don't think she was being greedy, just excited, but people, you still have to think! BTW, she never did send out thank you cards either! (I doubt that she even knew she was supposed to....) In saying all this she's a lovely person, I just hope that as a God parent I can instill in her child a good sense of etiquette! Actually there were also other people standing around the table opening the gifts. I don't know if that is bad etiquette, but it just seemed wrong to me. I for one spent a good deal of effort to make sure my gift was beautifully wrapped and a thoughtful card accompanied. I wouldn't have been impressed to have one of the hangers-on opening the gift and then discarding the thoughtfully chosen wrapping!   Babyshower0207-03


My mother and I were planning my baby shower. We decided to make it family oriented since I have two children from a previous marriage I really wanted them to participate. Things were going smoothly until my sister tried to get involved. We were looking for invitations on the net when she walks in and hands me a paper. I ask her what it is and she said it is a list of the people she wants invited to the shower. I looked at her and thought who are you to be giving me a list for a party that is not even yours. It's not like she is even contributing money wise to this party to even have some sort of a say so. She had invited her in laws, her two brother in laws and their wives and children, her friends, and her sister in law and her boyfriend. I was appalled that she would even consider asking me this. She planningly said "It's not like mom and dad can't afford it!" It's not about what can be afforded or not it's about me standing in a crowd of people I hardly know.


I sent you another story about the shower given when I was pregnant with twins. At the same shower some very wealthy old friends of my husband's that we socialized with came and brought a gift. They left just before I opened it and when I did I knew why. It was a very tacky polyester boy's outfit that was supposed to look like a baseball players. I was expecting both a boy and a girl (which everyone knew) so it was kind of strange to get a gift specifically for a boy. If you are going to bring one thing, why not bring a toy, or if it hurts so much to buy a baby gift, don't bother. The outfit came in a box from a local department store and when I tried to return it they looked it up based on its' tag and told me that it had originally been purchased in a final sale for $5.00 five years ago--guess how old our "friend's" little boy was? You guessed it--he was now five. I just told the clerk to throw it in the garbage. It's so insulting that it just makes me laugh.    Babyshower0325-03

I didn't want a baby shower because I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention and I think all showers, however classy (if that's even possible), are just a way to get gifts. I think people should offer a gift if they really want to and leave it at that. However, when expecting twins (our first children), our friends decided that we had to have a shower and they were going to get together and host it. I agreed but I told them that I really didn't want to travel to another town (I was close to my due date), huge and uncomfortable, and the day of the shower was my sister's due date with her first baby and I wanted to be able to get to her quickly if necessary. One of my good friends lived literally around the corner and graciously offered her home. Unbeknownst to me, another one of the shower hosts that we didn't know well had browbeat my good friend into hosting the shower at her house because it was brand new and she wanted to show it off and given that we knew many of the same people she used it as a house warming/shower opportunity--hey as long as there's going to be food and drink. So now we have to drive over an hour (in the opposite direction of the hospital) to be 'feted' surrounded by our friends, as well as people we didn't even know who came to see the new house. Gee, just how to make the parents to be feel "special."

I received a baby shower invitation a few summers ago. It had my name on it, but I didn't recognize any of the names on the card, or the return address on the envelope. I went crazy trying to figure out who the heck this was from! It invited me to a baby shower in a nearby park and asked for specific items...emphasis on cash.

I was talking to a friend of mine a couple of days later and mentioned the strange invitation. She recognized the name and said it was from someone who worked as a receptionist at the vet's office our volunteer animal rescue organization uses. I asked how she knew my name and address... this friend did some asking around, and as it turns out, the woman asked one of the higher ups in our organization (on a weekly visit to the vet's office) for some names and addresses of people to attend her baby shower --- SHE MADE A LIST AND GAVE IT TO HER!!! I had never even spoken to this lady, although I had been to that vet's office! Turns out, too, that the shower was for her fourth child and she threw it for herself. I was always taught that you NEVER throw yourself a shower, and I haven't heard of showers for fourth babies before either... then again, I had no idea that it was perfectly polite to invite total strangers to a gimme presents party, so who am I to judge? I was so ticked off to receive an invitation from someone I had never even spoken to!

Sorry, I don't have a shower-from-hell story, but I am just wondering why it is such a big faux-pas to have a shower for a second or third child? Isn't a baby shower supposed to be to welcome the new baby? 

I'm fairly positive infants have no recollection or care about a shower hosted for them.  And the family can host a get-together/cook-out/party to introduce the newest family member without extorting more gifts.  

It's not JUST for getting new stuff. The most memorable things my son received at his shower were keepsake items like silver picture frames, Peter Rabbit dishes, baby books, etc. Why shouldn't a 2nd or 3rd child receive these things too? They'll likely end up with hand-me-downs for the rest of their lives, so why shouldn't they get a few new things when they're born?

Explain to me what it is that is preventing friends and family from giving these gifts to a 2nd and 3rd child in the absence of a shower.  If you have to have a shower to jumpstart the giftgiving gravy train, then people were never intending to bestow gifts in the first place.

While a lot of the stories on your site contain examples of serious rudeness or inconsiderate acts, I think many people read a lot more into things than they should. Keep in mind that the host may not have ever hosted a baby shower before and may be learning as she goes along. There is certainly no excuse for rudeness, but often ignorance is misconstrued as rudeness. Just something to keep in mind during the next shower-from-hell!


I once received an invitation to a baby shower for my cousin who lives in Florida (I live in Toronto). The invitation was sent from her sister who lives in New York. The invitation (in a rhyme) basically said that gifts will be sent now, and visits to Florida will be later! So even if I could make it to Florida, I was not invited. I was also told that I would receive a picture of the expectant mother opening my gift. I refused to spend a dime, however my mother who "did not want to start up" sent a gift certificate. We never did get the picture or a thank you note for that matter!! Babyshower0424-03

Yesterday I attended the baby shower of my best friend, and I had to post this story!! Since I was unable to actually throw the shower (I live 2 hours from my friend) I went an hour and a half early to help set up and decorate. I literally worked like a dog to help with this aspect of the shower and I was quite happy to do it since I adore my friend. 

During the shower itself which lasted 3 hours) I sat down for maybe a half an hour. I helped with the games, I fetched drinks, I cut and served the cake, I took photos, I videotaped the present opening, and basically did anything else that needed done so that me friend would have a beautiful and memorable day. When the shower was over I stayed to help clean, and definitely did my fair share the place was filthy), I also loaded all of the presents up in my truck or my friends van by myself (nobody at all helped) after all of this was done the only thing left to do was put the food in baggies/bowls and leave, since there were 9 people helping to do this I felt I wasn't really needed and I decided to sit down because my back was killing me. 

I was sitting for no more than 2 minutes when one of my friend's aunts walked up to me and said "Well if you are just going to sit there you might as well leave". Once I got over the initial shock I explained to her that I was waiting because I had the majority of the gifts in my truck and I was taking them to my friend's home for her where I intended to unload them. She then loudly announced "X (my friend) give Y your keys so she can take the gifts to your house she isn't helping at all and she is in everybody's way". To my complete surprise, my friend walked over and handed me her house keys without saying a word, I was completely speechless, so I took them and left. I went to my friend's home and began to unload the gifts, when I was almost done, my friend and her family (her aunts and mother) showed up walked in the house and sat down without offering their help at all. I finished unloading the things from my vehicle and went inside to chat with everyone. The same offensive aunt then said to me, "Did you get all the gifts?" I said I got all the ones from my truck but not X's van , she then admonished me for not getting those ones too, and told me to get them!! I did (don't ask me why) by myself of course. 

When all the gifts were unloaded and inside, I again sat down to chat with everyone, the aunt then dismissed me like a servant and said "Well, I guess that’s all you can go anytime now." I looked to my friend for some support but got none, so I promptly left. I received a call from my friend this morning and she thanked me for helping but said nothing about the way her aunt treated me, or the way she herself treated me. I am sure it will all be forgotten soon, but for right now I say let them all burn in etiquette hell!!!


Some friends of ours was having their first child. We will call them Pam & Mark. Pam had moved here from out of state so she didn't have any friends. Although the reason for that is b/c Pam is not the friendliest of people and hard to get to know. And Mark really didn't have a lot of friends either only my Fiancé' and I basically. 

Anyway, so Mark's Great-Aunt Jude decided to host the baby shower for them. Aunt Jude was an elderly woman whom everyone supposedly loved. Well, I spoke with Aunt Jude several times prior to the shower to find out if there was anything she wanted me to do. She asked me first to get the decorations which I was fine with. Then she asked me to get the cake. She called me back days later and decided that she would get the cake. Now mind you again Aunt Jude was an elderly woman so she had many, many elderly friends. So I buy the paper plates, napkins, table cloths, cups and the decorations etc... I spent probably well over $50. 

The day of the shower arrives and I get to Aunt Jude's house and to my surprise she already has everything for the shower including decorations. I was angry because she'd asked me to get the stuff for it. Anyway, me and fiancé' are the first there besides 2 elderly women friends of Aunt Jude's. Slowly but surely elderly couples start arriving. I'd say about 10 couples not including Fiancé & I. Then finally the lucky couple "parent to be" arrive. We besides the expected parents are the youngest people there. Pam & Mark only know Aunt Jude and her husband and no one else of course besides us. Talk about tackiness. Aunt Jude invited all of her elderly friends/couples to come to the shower and they gave gifts as well. Aunt Jude had her "own" agenda and also had a little too much wine that day along with her friends. The shower went rather well though. It was nice. We never received a "thank you" from the couple nor Aunt Jude who done her best to outdo herself to show off in front of her friends. Let's just say we don't have much contact with the couple and especially NO contact at all with Aunt Jude.    Babyshower0603-03

My sister, the selfish, self-centered brat, had her third child and her third set of baby showers during the time our mother was in the last stages of terminal cancer. Not only did she insist on inviting everyone she had ever met, she also "borrowed" mother's address book to invite all of my mother's friends. My mother was horribly embarrassed, but that was just the beginning! My sister then followed up with a phone call to let my mother's friends know that she would be at the baby shower and it would probably be her last outing "if they wanted to see her one last time"!!!!

Unbeknownst to any of us, my sister secretly hired one of her nurse buddies to "help get her there". After finding out what she had done (one of my mom's friends called me from the shower) I arrived at the shower to find my mom exhausted and her friends horrified that my sister had drug her out like that. It was her last outing alright, it damn near killed her. To this day, my sister still doesn't understand why any of my brothers & sisters are still angry about the incident.   Babyshower0620-03

Hi. Here is a story of a baby shower I attended a few weeks ago. I still shake my head when I think of it. A bit of background info: The baby shower was for a former co-worker, Janie, who I was really good friends with, but due to job switches for the both of us several years ago, we end up speaking on the phone about once a year, with a few e-mail jokes, messages in between here and there. Here it goes. Janie e-mails me and tells me her sister Karen is throwing her a shower and that I was invited. I received the invitation with only 3 weeks notice. I thought that was a bit short notice, considering it is the summer, but actually had nothing to do the actual day so I RSVP'd that I would go. I go to the place she is registered, get a gift, card, etc. I also found it odd that the invitation was in Janie's writing. I still can't decide if Janie is throwing herself a shower or if Karen is making her do it.

3 days before the shower, Janie e-mails me and asks me if my daughter and my fiancé are coming. I responded no - they have other plans. Now bear in mind that my 13 year old daughter and my fiancé would rather watch grass grow then to go to a baby shower. Plus, when the invitation came, it was addressed to me only. Not "Ann and Family."

Day of shower: I actually have a bit of a faux pas myself. The place of the shower is about 40 miles away from me, so I had to leave about 45 minutes to get there on time. My telephone rings, and it's my good friend Becky, whose mother has been sick for some time. Becky is basically telling me that her mother has only DAYS to live. What a shock! I've known that whole family, including Becky's mother, since I was about 10 years old. I consoled Becky with kind words, etc. (Unfortunately, Becky's mom did literally pass away two days later). The phone call ends, I look at the clock and realize that at best, I will still only be about 15-20 minutes late. I felt I couldn't just tell my friend Becky "Gee, sorry your mom is dying, but I have a baby shower to go to." Becky will be a bridesmaid in my wedding next year, and I will be her maid of honor when she marries next year as well (just an idea of how close Becky and I are).

To make matters worse, I misinterpret the directions from the internet and get a bit lost. At this point I'm in the town I need to be in, but I just have to back-track, etc. Bottom line: I end up pulling into the driveway one hour and fifteen minutes late! Between the call and getting lost. (Like I said - my own faux pas) I felt like such a jerk dragging in this present with all these people. I feel like a jerk no more. There was hardly anyone there! Just the host, the guest of honor, and Janie's brother and sister-in-law. (there were 30 people invited) I was in shock - here I am beating myself up for being so late and I was actually considered early! I didn't say anything, because I'm an outsider, but Janie's sister-in-law was going nuts. "I can't believe this!", "Don't people know how to tell time?" Janie's brother and sister-in-law leave about a half hour after I arrive, saying that that they were "shocked people weren't there earlier" and had "better things to do." Can't say I blame them.

Now I'm just sitting around and Karen, Janie's sister/host decides to decorate the place (only then did she decide). This isn't necessarily a faux pas, but this is a grown woman who decorates like a blind-folded toddler! It was awful. No rhyme or reason to any of the decorations.

Janie then says to me: "Hey Ann, I'll be right back." When I asked where she was going, she told me she had "to go pick up her cake." PICK UP HER CAKE?!?!? That should have already been there hours ago! And why is the guest of honor picking up her own cake?!?! Truly unbelievable. Bear in mind, it is now about well over an hour and a half into this - and no one is still there.

The shower does not get into full swing (with people arriving, etc), until two and a half hours later! Then someone brings in a crib. Yes, it was a crib, because it was still in the box and not wrapped at all! Can we try to surprise the girl for a little bit???

I then asked her what she planned on naming the baby. She had e-mailed me weeks ago and told me she was having a girl. She gave me the look of death. I guess she only told a few people she was having a girl and wanted to keep everyone else in the dark. HELLO?!?! You could have told me this when I walked in - we were only alone for almost 2 hours! At least the food was good. I was so disgusted at this point, I stepped outside to call my fiancé and told him I'd meet up with him and go to dinner with some friends of ours. I waited around this awful shower for another 45 minutes, to at least see her open my gift. Then I bolted out of there like the place was on fire.

Three days later I got my "Thank You" Card - an e-mail. Not even one of those e-greetings, but a simple e-mail saying that "I was glad you could make it", and "thanks so much." Again, unbelievable. That particular day, I was out of work sick, and when I returned the following day, she e-mails me AGAIN to see if I received her "thank you" from the day before.

Oh, by the way, Janie is the same girl who has literally invited herself to my wedding (due to our distant relationship I haven't even put her on my list), she keeps saying how she's going, etc., and when I told her of my engagement, she never once congratulated me, only to say: "Aw man, check you out - who's in the wedding?" NOT HER! Seemed to me she was looking for me to say "Hey Janie, would you do me the honor and be a bridesmaid?" Don't think so. I hardly see her as it is. I think I'll tell her I'm eloping.

Thanks for reading. Great site Babyshower0702-03

Where do I start? My husband and I found out we were pregnant 5 months after we married. My dear friend "Cheryl" was to throw the shower at my church with my mom. She told me to make a list of everyone I wanted to invite. I thought that was tacky but I did. I put a list together gave it to her then she asked me to help with the favors!!! Again I did. Later I found out that not all the people on the list got their invites. 

Then 2 weeks before the shower and AFTER the invitations went out the pastor of my church calls me to say that I couldn't have my shower at the church since I didn't invite everyone from the church. He said it was a church function and therefore everyone should be invited. First I didn't know everyone well enough to invite them. Plus I didn't want to be a gift grubber. (our church is small), One girl I didn't invite blatantly told my mom that she didn't care if I miscarried, so why would I invite her? Second, why was he telling me? I wasn't the one who was hosting the party. It might as well have been me hosting since I got "asked to help" since the hostess was busy, and my mom was in NC until a few days before the shower.. I definitely will NEVER host a shower for anyone ever!     Babyshower0703-03

I have a dear friend, who has money troubles and fertility issues, offer to throw me a baby shower for the arrival of my first child. I agreed and told her she may want to ask for help to offset the cost.

The hostess gift I had arranged for her to have ended up being shipped back to the company due to damage and the company sent her a check. I had also paid for thank-you cards through my friend and received them but the order had been messed up and I received them for "free", but my friend had already cashed my check. It is okay, no big deal, the money will help her out with the expenses.

About a week before the party, I called my friend to ask about the invites and told her that I had addresses of my husband's friends that she did not have. Since the shower was going to be at my house, I had been rather involved. She told me to stay out of the party planning and that she had everything under control. She then went on to complain and gripe at me for 30min on the phone about how much the shower was costing (remember the money I had "given" her?) and that I was butting in so much that she didn't even know if she wanted to throw the shower. She went on to say that because she was getting help that she felt like the thrill of giving the shower was being taken away and that it is very hard to throw a BABY shower when she herself may never get pregnant--which I truly understand, but why offer in the first place? She then asked me to go to dinner with her so we could talk more. I was very open to this.

I told her I would stay out of it and trusted things would be okay. I cried the rest of the evening. Turns out she only made this phone call because she was planning a "surprise" shower (i.e. dinner date with her) 3 days before the shower. She wanted to throw me off the scent of the surprise. 11 people were there and they all had to pay for their own dinner. My friend didn't even get me a baby shower gift! (I guess this isn't necessary since she did throw the shower). To top it all off, she insulted my husband (who wasn't there) in front of everyone else at the party like it was a joke.

To say the least, I should have turned her down for throwing the shower, but this was someone I really cared about. She hurt me deeply and I doubt that our friendship will ever be the same again.    Babyshower0713-03

Page Last Updated May 15, 2007