The Dating Game

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I worked with a very good-looking guy, but didn't want to mix my professional and personal lives.  After I was fired (That's a whole other story for this site!), I agreed to go out with him.  We were the same age, mid-20s, but after the date I'd say he had the mental capacity of fungus.  

On the way over, he called from his cell to whine about not finding the right exit off the expressway.  Too bad he was looking for the wrong exit!  He then blamed me for his mistake, telling me I gave him bad directions.

He called again saying there was no parking and asked me help him find a spot.  So I went outside, only to find the street full of empty parking spots and him leaning next to the BMW mommy and daddy bought him, showing off like a little peacock.

I live in a downtown area, so we walked to an Irish pub.  I told him we'd switch off buying drinks - I have no problem paying my own way and I knew by now this would not be a romantic evening.  He got the first round, but DID NOT tip the bartender.  I served my way through college, so this is a cardinal sin to me.

The we walked to a Tapas restaurant and sat in the bar.  He kept saying, "Everyone in here is so old!  I feel funny."  Average age was mid-30s.  The check came and I grabbed it to see how much we owed.  We each had two beers.  I said, "The bill is $16."  He didn't even pretend to pull out his wallet!

Then we went to my local watering hole.  I asked if my "date" wanted a beer, he said no.  So I ordered one for myself.  I hand the bartender a $10 bill and my gentleman of a date ordered a beer at that moment, so I got no change back!  There was a band playing and the lead singer said, "Look at this girl up here shaking her thing!"  My date actually stood up to get a better view.

At this point, I was broke and tired.  The creep asked for a glass of water when we got to my apt., leaving me no choice but to let him in.  He then proceeded to make a bee-line for the couch, sit down and turn on the TV.  I'm a writer and read about 25 magazines a month, one being Playboy.  He saw this on my coffee table and said, "Playboy.  Huh Huh."  He sounded like Beavis and Butthead.

I changed into my biggest sweat shirt, pajama pants and wool socks, hoping he's get the point.  Of course not.  After 15 minutes of him watching my TV, I told him I was going to bed.  He got mad!  He walked out without even saying good-bye! 

I just thanked my lucky stars he never called me again!

DatingHell1022-05

I had signed up for one of those online dating services (everybody else was doing it!), and had been emailing back and forth with a couple of guys.  Well, this one guy emailed me (I'll call him Bob), and he seemed nice.  We kept IMing back and forth all day while I was at work and my boss was out (I am a bad employee, I know!).  Well, he seemed nice, so I decided to give him my cell number, but said please do not call me until after 5 as I was working.  I also explained to him that my boss may come in at any time, and so I may have to log out quickly.  Well, sure enough, my boss comes in and I quickly close down the IMs.  The second my screen goes blank, my cell phone rings...it's him!  He called one more time before I left work.  But I decided to give him a chance anyways.

I called him that evening when I got home and we had a good conversation...great!  I told him that the next day I was going to an amusement park with my friends so I would not be reachable that day.  When we got to the amusement park, I left my phone in the trunk of my car so I wouldn't have to carry it around with me all day.  When we left that evening and I checked my phone, he had called 5 times!  At that point the guy friend I was with said that I shouldn't call him, that he was acting too desperate, but I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.  So I called and we arranged to meet the following night for drinks.

I get to the restaurant and meet him (pretty cute!).  I mention to him several times during the course of the night that I am going out of town the next day to attend my best friend's graduation (I was very excited to go).  As we are talking about ourselves, getting to know each other, etc., one of the things he mentions to me is that he has a photographic memory.  All in all, we had a nice time, nice conversation., etc.  At the end of the night, the way we left things was that I would call him when I got back into town the following week.  As I'm driving home, he calls me.

I leave the next day on a red eye, get to my friend's completely exhausted...shower, and we head out the door and spend the day doing things.  I get back to her place, totally beat, at about 2 in the morning.  Just as I crawl into bed and close my eyes, my phone rings.  It's him.  (Note, I live on the west coast and was visiting the east coast, so there is the time change to factor in.)  I answer my phone, and he asks what I'm doing.  "Sleeping!"  I tersely reply.  "I'm back east visiting my friend, remember?!"  "No, I totally forgot about that."  was his reply.  So much for the photographic memory!  I hung up and never called him again, though he did call me several times after that.

DatingHell1118-05

I was recently involved in a long distance relationship with Woody, we met when he lived in the same city as me and we started dating shortly before he moved to a city on the other side of the country. I didn't think at first that we would continue dating, and we didn't bring the subject up because we had only been dating a short time, yet we stayed in contact after he moved. I didn't make much of it at first but our telephone conversations and emails became more and more common, after awhile we were talking for about an hour a day. After a couple of months had passed, my birthday was coming up and the topic came up of him coming to see me for the occasion, he said that he would love to come and see me and he said that he started making plans right away. While he was telling me that he was coming to see me, he asked if maybe I wanted to fly out there the month after my birthday to see him, I was actually quite excited at the idea, and it seemed like maybe we were going to make this long-distance thing work.

So after I discussed a good time to fly out there with him, and bought my ticket, he said that he couldn't come and see me for my birthday because of some big project at work, I was disappointed, but hey, work is work. So I didn't make much of it and we continued talking all the time, and we even called him from my birthday party while I was quite drunk. Soon enough I went out there to see him, the visit went quite well and we fell deeply in love, leaving was very hard because of how happy I was with him. We made plans to attend my best friends wedding that fall, he said that he was planning on flying out to see me in 2 months, it seemed great. 

After I returned from my trip (that I had paid for), things were fine at first. A few days after I got back he finally told me he loved me (he said it first, not me), and I was ecstatic! However, after that, he started calling less, he claimed that he was just working really long hours because of all these big projects they had him on, so I didn't freak out at him for it, I was very understanding, The calls continued to decline, and I couldn't pin him down on a date for his visit. So when the calls became REALLY rare (like a week apart) I called him and left a long message on his machine telling him how he was making me feel, that he could at least email me, just do something to prove that he still cared. 

After 2 days, when he still hadn't called me back, I wrote him a long email telling him that if he wanted to end it that this wasn't the right way, he should just tell me (I said many things in that email, but that was the gist). He wrote me back immediately saying that he had a family emergency and he had been gone for a few days and did not get my message, he said that we would talk about it when he got back in a couple of days. So although I played along, something wasn't right and I knew it. So on a hunch, I browsed in his zip code and age on a very popular dating site, and up came his profile! And he was online right then and there. I wrote him a very brief email calling him some words that I choose not to repeat, and said that I wished I had never met him. He wrote back immediately saying that his best friend put the profile up, and that he was going to talk to me about the whole thing, because the long-distance thing wasn't working for him, blah, blah, blah.... So I never wrote him back, or called him again, I don't need to give him the satisfaction of hearing me voice again.

DatingHell0820-05

I was fresh out of college and trying to climb the ladder at a new government job in a new city. Anyone who has ever worked for the public sector probably understands the cumbersome beaurocracy of the whole thing, and that you¹d pretty well have to physically assault a person to get fired. Well, the woman I worked for had stopped just short of physical assault, but made up for it in verbal abuse. This chain smoking, cursing, hollering, paranoid terror of a woman had my 22 year old self completely petrified. But I was a people pleaser then, and so I persevered. (I found out later that I held the all time record for working for this woman ­ an entire eight months) Anyway.

The thing about "Helga the Horrible" is that she had this completely unpredictable "Glenda the Good Witch" personality, when out of the clear blue she might suddenly grab you in a bear hug and ask why you never want to have a drink after work or go shopping together. Ten minutes later she would switch again and we¹re back to yelling, threatening and intimidating. There were three of us that worked for her, and we would literally be left reeling in confusion over these episodes.

Well one afternoon "Glenda the Good Witch" makes a sudden (quite welcome appearance). She wants to have "girl talk" and wants to show us the photos of her son, who lives in Los Angeles. She¹s whipping out these glamour shot type photos (the very corny sort with makeup and props and strange lighting and poses) and I¹m trying to compliment each one, lest I spawn a re-emergence of Helga. The guy was in his mid-twenties looked like he would be relatively good looking in a normal atmosphere, so I stretched a bit and said "oh he¹s very handsome." She is just thrilled, now she¹s moving into maniac phase, and we know that everything that rises must fall. We¹re bracing ourselves. But it didn¹t happen. She¹s in her element talking about her son ­ he¹s an actor on a soap opera and a model and auditioning for this and that and will be a movie star soon etc. Well we act suitably impressed (I¹m just gagging). She then tells us that he¹s coming to visit over the Christmas holidays, and she wants ME to take him on a date(!!) She said (and I quote verbatim) "you¹re beautiful and thin enough, he¹ll go out with you." Well how flattering. Anyway, I was far too timid to say no.

Sure enough, his mother sets us up and arranges a "play date" for us. Now as a side note, the reason that I was "thin enough" was that I was in the process of recovering from anorexia nervosa, and I was still painfully skinny (I cringe when I see the pictures now, I look like a famine victim). Well "Romeo" is dropped off by his mother (charming, but he was visiting from out of town so that's fine). I answer the door and he says "Hi, I'm Romeo. My mom said you were thin. You're not THAT thin. I¹m from L.A." No lie people, this is what he said. Well now that he is stranded 30 miles from his mother¹s house with only me for transportation, I decide to go ahead with the date. However, I obviously wanted a short one, luckily I lived in a neighborhood full of fun shops and restaurants. He tells me he wants pizza. Fine.

We go to a nearby pizza place that was a favorite of his as a kid. It¹s a place where you go to the front and order, take your pizza and pay at the end of the line. He gets in line before me (same thing with the door but ok, knowing his mother I figure he wasn¹t given regular lessons on gentlemanly behavior). You wouldn¹t believe what he put this poor pizza maker through to get a slice. I don¹t remember now exactly what it was, but essentially he wanted everything raw with no crust, no tomato sauce, no cheese ­ this is just bizarre, it's not even pizza, it¹s a bunch of raw vegetables with something holding it together (I don¹t remember what, it was a complicated conversation). So I order a slice of veggie pizza or something, and I¹m surprised to see that he pays for both of us (I¹m not expecting much at this point).

We sit down. He immediately asks if I¹ve got a mirror. I did have a little compact in my purse, so I gave it to him. He starts examining himself and primping right there at the table! He¹s fixing his hair, turning this way and that, and then he says "I do have excellent bone structure, it¹s how I get jobs in LA. See, look at my cheekbones." I am just floored. I stammer agreement that yes, his cheekbones are very nice indeed. He tells me about his hair highlights, how his hairdresser wants to photograph him for his portfolio, just on and on and on.

Eventually, he turns his attention to the food. Mine though, not his. He told me about his macrobiotic diet, and how he only eats live food (vegetables, not animals) and how can I put that crap in my mouth, don¹t I know that cheese is basically "bacterial infested cow puss." May I remind you that I am recovering from a disease that caused me to starve myself almost to death? (To be fair, he didn¹t know that). Anyway, then he starts complaining about how much it had cost, so I had better eat the whole thing!

I cut the date dangerously short (remember I¹m terrified of his mother) and drove him home, trying to ignore his constant criticism of my driving and his comparisons to the Lexus that he supposedly has in LA. The night seemed endless, but eventually I got him home. To my great relief, he kissed me briefly on the cheek and made a hasty exit.

The funny thing is that I find out later that the reason he didn¹t just borrow his mother¹s car is that he has had his driver¹s license suspended for multiple DUIs. Also that he has had one role on one episode of a soap opera ­ he was an extra. Otherwise unemployed, he lives with his uncle. I think back on that date and I don¹t know whether to laugh or cry. Thanks for letting me share.

DatingHell0811-05

I was in my early 20's. I never liked the bar scene, but was talked into going out one evening with a few female co-workers around the holidays. So we go to a place one of the co-workers is familiar with and sit at the bar and order a drink. This guy sits down next to me and after asking me the time, proceeds to strike up a conversation. All well and good.

*This is important later.* During the conversation it is mentioned that my brother and SIL are renovating their house (I had my own place). However, I'm not terribly interested in him and when he asks me to dinner I politely decline saying I already have a steady friend. Well, my co-worker/friend? overhears this and pipes in "@#*% he's only asking you out, not to marry him", which embarrassed me and since she knew him, I relented and gave him my number. I really wasn't dating anyone at the time, which co-worker knew.

He calls, day and time set. I want to meet him at the restaurant in my own car, he wants to pick me up in his "Corvette" (sorry, not impressed). My brother suggests I let him pick me up at his house so he can meet him, etc. This guy shows up, obviously drunk or stoned, with a roll of carpeting on top of the car for the house!!! Carpeting?!! My SIL said, "whatever happened to flowers and candy?" For those wondering, I did not go to dinner, gift was NOT accepted, and co-worker was NOT my friend. LOL!!! We still chuckle about that one! Sheesh!

DatingHell1215-05

Before I met the man I now love, I went on a number of dates using online dating services. I met many people who, for one reason or another, were just not right for me. This one, however, was simply outside the bounds of good taste.

We met for our blind date at a restaurant. He appeared to be a very well-groomed, professional man in his mid-20's, and during dinner he was very gentlemanly. He did seem quite impressed with his high-profile and well-paying job, and perhaps a bit vain, but I figured that most likely, he was nervous and wanted to impress me.

After dinner, I suggested taking a stroll down the street. He mentioned as we walked that he needed to use the restroom. I suggested that he go back to the restaurant where we ate, or perhaps try one of the other establishments on the street. He declined, and then ducked into an alley. That's right.. Mr. Smooth *urinated in public* on a blind date. After this disgusting display, I suggested walking in the opposite direction, towards my car.

When I arrived at home, I found that he had already sent a message to me via the internet. He explained that while he thought I was a nice young woman, he did not foresee us having a second date. I could only shake my head in disbelief.

DatingHell0917-05

One year, about a month before my birthday, my mom made a deal with me- for that birthday, I'd be getting no material gifts and no party. Instead, as soon as she got home, we'd have a mother-daughter night- we'd go see a movie that I was dying to see, go to one of my absolute favorite restaurants (a hibachi grill- I love it there, but the price is ridiculous and it's usually packed, so we rarely go), and then roam the mall with the restaurant until it closed. I really liked that mall- it had two huge arcades, bowling, an all-age dance every Friday night... I agreed to this, knew I was going to have a lot of fun on this birthday, and was pretty much counting the hours.

A few days before my birthday, my mom tells me she met this guy, "Eric", and they had started dating. I've never been fond of any of her boyfriends, so I wasn't excited by this news, but I did freeze when I heard "By the way, he's coming with us on Friday". I'm not sure if it's faux pas to make two-person plans and at the last minute invite a third person, someone who the other person has never met in her life, but I was still mildly ticked at this. I tried to let this go, but as the days went by, it became apparent that she stopped thinking of this as my birthday night, instead it was going to be her first date with this guy she'd only met not too long before. I still tried to live with it- maybe this guy was different from the other disasters, maybe this would actually be FUN...

Friday, my birthday, rolled around. I had only eaten a couple of pretzels all day because the hibachi gives a LOT of food, so when my mom got home I was eager to get going. Ooops, Eric never showed up at my mom's work, but he should be at the house any minute. We waited... and waited... and waited. He never showed up, he never called. Mom tried to call him, he wouldn't answer at his house or his cell, and his workplace said that he left. We had already missed the movie, mom was worried sick about Eric, and I was absolutely STARVING. After there's absolutely no hope of us making the movie or the restaurant, guess who should call but dear old Eric. Apparently, when mom was calling his cell, he couldn't hear it over the music in the bar he went to. Um... what...? Yes, after work he went to a bar. He decided last minute that he'd rather not come with us because he heard that the movie was awful, and he never called us to let us know he wasn't coming. So, my birthday present of movie, restaurant, and mall roaming turned into a quick trip through the drive through of a fast food restaurant no more than five minutes from the house!

But it gets better. I look back on this and laugh, but when it happened I was pretty steamed... Eric came over a week after my birthday to pick my mom up for a date as an apology for the week before (Um... why are you apologizing to my mom... IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY YOU SPLATTERED...) and before he left, he turned to me and said "Oh, by the way, I got you a present," and handed me an unwrapped box, and then said something to my mom about me having acne problems. Within plain earshot of me. I opened the box, and what do I find? A kit of various acne creams. Apparently, he had gotten the box in the mail as a free sample, decided he didn't want it, and decided he'd give it to me as a birthday gift. He didn't wish me a happy belated, didn't say hi or bye to me, didn't even acknowledge what my name was, just handed me the box and left before I could mutter a stunned "thanks". If he thought that the "present" made a good apology... I never heard from him again.

DatingHell0719-05

I'm not certain if this story falls under the category of bad etiquette, or simply evil. However, it is fairly horrifying, and it will be up to you to decide if you would like to post it or not.

In high school, I was friends with a girl who we will call "Britney". I'd been friends with Britney since we were children, mostly because neither of us were very popular and we basically settled into a friendship out of sheer loneliness. Over the years, however, we got attached to one another and stayed friends. In our sophomore year, she finally got a boyfriend, "Tom".

This being her first boyfriend, she became somewhat obsessed with him. After a while, some friends of Tom convinced him to break up with her for myriad reasons, ranging from her appearance to her personality. He finally did. Apparently, she couldn't deal with this, and informed him that she was pregnant. Racked with guilt, and fueled by what I can only assume is blind chivalry, he agreed to support her in whatever she decided to do with the baby. She said she wanted to have an abortion. Of course, he shelled out $300 to pay for it, and they parted ways. Here's the kicker; she was never pregnant. She went on a shopping spree with the money. Obviously, we do not speak today.

Oh, but wait, I'm not finished. Britney later got another boyfriend, who we'll call Jared. Before they started dating, Britney convinced Jared to break up with his current girlfriend and date her instead. They compromised, and he simply started an affair with her while STILL GOING OUT WITH THIS OTHER GIRL. Jared eventually broke up with this other girl, and proposed to Britney. Last time I heard about Britney, she was trying to sit in my best friend's boyfriend's lap at a party. According to her, she had permission from Jared. Disgusting girl.

DatingHell1126-05

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