Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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Foot in mouth disease

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I attended the wedding of a dear college friend, and ran into another guest, my old college roommate "Alice" (name changed to protect the guilty), with whom I had not been in contact for over five years. We began to catch each other up on our respective lives when I mentioned that my new husband and I had just bought a house in a city I will call "Prince Frederick". She blurts out (in a really snotty and surprised voice) "YOU can afford a house in PRINCE FREDERICK?! WE couldn't afford a house THERE!" This made my husband very uncomfortable, so he explained (lied) in an extremely apologetic voice, "Well, it's kind of in the less expensive area of Prince Frederick." This didn't satisfy Alice. She asked about our house, and I explained that it had four bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms and both a living room and a family room (I grew up in a rowhouse in Philadelphia, so this was completely new to me), and that I was excited because we had turned our living room into a library, something my husband and I both wanted very much. Alice then began to describe her "wonderful" house, which also has 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths and a living room and a family room AND a library and it only cost them $220k (we didn't pay very much more that that for our Prince Frederick house). I had just about had it by then; she had tried to embarrass me by being very rude and I was angry. I smiled sweetly and then did a very bad thing: I said that my house had just been gutted and totally renovated, so that we got an all-new construction house on a proven-stable (40+ yo) foundation, and wasn't that wonderful? Why was this bad? Because I knew that she was desperate to sell her "wonderful" house due to the foundation being faulty and her house sinking! Alice quickly changed the subject. It may not have been nice, but it sure was satisfying.

Ooops 0909-03

It is not really my story but happened to a friend of my mom's. My mom's friend went to the vending machines on the ferry and got a chocolate bar. She found a seat on the crowded ferry and sat down. To her shock and horror, the old man beside her took a bite of her chocolate bar! She grabbed the bar back and took a bite. He then grabbed it back and took another bite! She quickly grabbed the bar, ate it all, and stomped away to the bathroom to repair her lipstick. Still fuming, she reached into her bag to grab her lipstick, and there was her chocolate bar. She hid in the bathroom the rest of the trip. That poor old guy.

Ooops 0911-03

I was with this one boyfriend for about two years. He and I remained close, even after we broke up. (We're still friends.) I get along quite well with both his parents; however, his mother can make some very insensitive comments!! I have never been particularly overweight, although my weight can fluctuate depending on my activity level. Once, when she was visiting us, she commented to me, "Oh, 'Jenny,' you're thin again!" As if what? I was fat before? The sad thing is, I've heard that from her more than once...

Ooops 0918-03

I thought this story would interest your readers. A few years ago I was living in New Jersey when I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and had to undergo chemotherapy. My son, who lived in the southwest, was working for a small company that was owned by a woman I'll call "Edith". My son was understandably upset and depressed by my illness, and I suppose he was moping around when Edith asked him what was wrong. He told her that his mother had been diagnosed with lymphoma and had to go through chemo and he was really worried.

Edith said to him, "Oh, I understand what you're going through. You'll have to think positive thoughts for your mother and remember, you'll also need lots and lots of prayer. Oh, that's right, you don't believe in God... she's not gonna make it."

When he told me this story, I almost fell off my chair, I was laughing so hard. Not exactly words of comfort toward a young employee.

Ooops 0930-03

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