Two highlights of the year I had living with 2 roommates (one
of which was my best friend) in a neighborhood where it was safer to walk down
the alley rather than the street. But I digress. One night we had a party and a
lot of people showed up. My friend and I knew pretty much had the same friends,
but our other roommate had friends we didn't know, and vice versa. So, it never
occurred to any of us to question the presence of one person there who's
behavior was a tad odd. Trust me when I say that we were a bit wild back then,
so if we deemed someone as being weird, believe me, he was really weird. He
kept making the rounds introducing himself to people saying "My name's
Bob, B-O-B as opposed to BABA" with a very strange affect. Gradually, it
dawned on all three of us that something had to be done about this guy as he
was starting to creep everyone out, and we (the roommates) had a confab in the
kitchen. It started out with me asking our third roommate who the hell was this
guy, and he answers "I don't know him, I thought you knew him."
"We don't know him we thought you knew him........" After we stopped
laughing we kicked him out and he went peacefully on his way into the night.
Story 2) Same townhouse, same roommates (it was an
interesting year.) Our third roommate would occasionally bring some friends
home after my other roommate and I had gone to bed, but it was never a problem
until one particular night. On this memorable evening I was getting ready for
bed when all of a sudden I heard two women literally fighting with each other
down the hall from my room. Figuring they were drunk as all get out I wanted no
part of this altercation, and promptly locked my door (why and how they were
upstairs I don't know.) Unfortunately my door wasn't as impenetrable as I
thought it was, because all of a sudden these temporarily insane women crashed
through my door nearly knocking me over, and now there were three of us
fighting. Or should I say I was fighting with them to get them out of my
bedroom while they continued to beat the living hell out of each other, pausing
now and again to take a swing at me. Meanwhile I was screaming for my male
roommate to get up here and get these psychos away from me, when finally both
my roommates came to the rescue. I never did find out what they were fighting
about.
Guests0121-04
No horror story here but just something to avoid frustration
on the part of the host & hostess and the guests. My MIL moved a couple
states away last year and recently came to visit for the first time. Always
before she was close enough to come for just a few hours. My husband and I have
been married for 18 yrs so my MIL and I have known each other a long time and
get along well.
Dec. is a very busy time of year at my husband's job and I
just started a new job so neither of us were going to be able to take more than
1 day off during her visit. I wanted to make sure that there was plenty of
things for her to eat while we were gone to work all day and she is a diabetic
so I asked her what kind of foods she would like to have on hand. She told me
that anything that we normally had would be fine. Since she wouldn't narrow it
down I bought a huge variety of things. Everything from bacon & eggs to
cold cereal (3 types) for breakfast and lots of stuff for sandwiches, green
salad & macaroni salad for lunch. I even made a big batch of homemade soup,
a big roast and potato casserole so that she could heat them in the microwave
and have something hot without much work. When she arrived I told her that our
home was her home and she should help herself to anything there was. I wasn't
saving anything and if she wanted it she should go ahead and eat it.
Well, after a couple days it was clear that she wasn't eating
much of anything while we were gone. I had my husband tell her again that she
could eat anything in the house. The next evening she called her daughter while
I was making dinner and when she said goodbye I heard her say that she had to
go because dinner was almost ready and she hadn't had anything but a roll for
breakfast and she was really hungry. The next night we took her to the grocery
store and asked her what she would like us to buy. Again she says that whatever
we normally buy is fine. My husband explained that we didn't want her to go
hungry and that she needed to tell us what she wanted. She just kept saying
that anything was fine. So basically, she starved herself for 2 weeks in a
house FULL of food. I find it hard to believe that she didn't eat because she
didn't like anything I had, simply because I had so many different things.
Maybe she just didn't feel comfortable in someone else's kitchen but no one
else was there and I had told her to make herself at home. I don't know what
the problem was and that makes me dread her next visit because I don't know
what to do to fix it.
The moral of this story that I would like your readers to
take away is to tell people of your likes and dislikes regarding food. There is
a limit to how demanding you should be but especially if you have a special
diet, like a diabetic, you should tell your hostess what you would like. It's
very disconcerting to have someone starving in your home but they won't tell
you what they want to eat. Also, if someone tells you to make yourself at home,
relax and do it.
Guests0102-04
I'm not sure where this story goes or if its even gruesome
enough but I wanted to share the tale of the night my husband and I went to
dinner with Mr. and Mrs. M.
My husband and Mr. M. worked together and Mr. M had a side
business that my husband had been helping him with. As a gesture of thanks
(really very nice of him) he and his wife wanted to take us to dinner.
We arrived at the M. household on time and rang the bell. No
answer. Rang again and stood looking at one another. Finally, one of the M.
children answered the door and we were admitted entrance to the house. There we
stood, awkwardly, with no adults around, as their child watched TV. Eventually
Mrs. M. came into the kitchen and we walked over to meet her (we had to go to
her as it was clear she was not going to come and invite us away from the door
herself) and attempted to talk to her. She never offered to take our coats or
to have a seat and needless to say no manner of refreshment was offered. She
wasn't exactly rude, but it was like pulling teeth making conversation. I
steeled myself for a loooong evening.
Mr. M. finally made his appearance and we went outside to
leave for the restaurant and Mr. M. announces to us that we will be driving. We
all pile into our car and begin the drive to the restaurant.
Now, I don't know how to describe this next part without
being too graphic or too gross so I will try to be as delicate as I can. Lets
just say Mr. M. apparently had a sinus drainage problem that caused him to sort
of make this huge sucking sound (I cannot call it a sniff as that implies a
level of discreetness not at all in evidence here) as he pulled the drainage
back into his head. It was a loud, gurgling, mucusy sound that was wholly
unappetizing and horrible. (My husband later told me his secret nickname at
work was "Oyster.")
So we arrive at the restaurant and have dinner which was
actually not unpleasant. Mrs. M. had warmed up and we engaged in an almost
normal conversation. Except that Mr. M. had an unfortunate and rather obnoxious
habit of saying loudly and often, "You miss my point! You miss my
point!" as if we were rather stupid. Anyway, dinner and the ride home
passed pleasantly enough and we were soon back at the M. household where they
quickly said goodbye, exited our car and entered their house. No invitation
inside - not that I was all that disappointed.
It wasn't that any one thing they did was all that terrible
or shocking (except the snorking sound), I'd just never encountered people with
so little to work with in the way of social graces. Although my husband and Mr.
M. worked for the same employer for a few more years, my husband found Mr. M.
increasingly irritating and we never socialized with them again.
Guests0103-04
My four year old daughter was invited to a birthday
party for a little boy in our neighborhood. The invitation was sent about two
weeks before the party, and I really wanted to attend, but being relatively new
to the area, I was unable to find a babysitter I was comfortable with for my
two older daughters, who were ten and eleven at the time. I didn't want to
leave them alone all day......so I called my neighbor and gave her my regrets.
When I explained the situation, she insisted that her son really wanted my
daughter there, and said that my two older girls were welcome to attend. I told
her I thought they might feel uncomfortable at a party that was for little
kids, and I didn't want to impose on her.....but my neighbor told me that there
would be some children their age there, as her son had older cousins. She
assured me they were welcome to attend, and repeated how much it meant to
her son to have my daughter there......
Finally I agreed to come. I brought a gift that was a
little more expensive then I usually bring to a child's birthday party because
I felt that since all three of my children were going, it was only right.
The party was huge....tons and tons of little kids and quite
a few older ones and adults as well. Everything was beautifully decorated, and
there was a lot of delicious food.
It was near Easter and one of the games they had was an
Easter egg hunt. All the children were given bags and told to come to one spot
when the hunt began.....all, that is, except my two older girls. They were told
that the Easter egg hunt was only for the little ones.....which was fine with
me, and perfectly understandable.......until I noticed that all of the other
older kids had bags. I began to look around and noticed that my two were the
ONLY kids not given bags for the Easter egg hunt. I tried to tell myself that
possibly they were the oldest ones there and that is why they weren't being
included, but I noticed a couple of kids who looked to be at least fourteen
holding bags. I thought....well maybe she only bought enough bags for the
invited guests, and since mine were sort of an afterthought, they were
unprepared...but then I spied a stack of extra bags on the table.
It was obvious to me and my kids they were the only
ones left out....but they were pretty cool about it....Not wanting to miss the
fun, they volunteered to help some of the really tiny kids hunt for
their eggs so they would get as many as the older, more ambitious kids.
There were TONS of eggs.....and my four year olds bag was loaded and she
shared with her sisters. The rest of the party went well, with face
painting, and crafts, and my older girls helped the little ones with so their
parents could enjoy the party. They did a wonderful job with the face
painting and the hostess thanked them profusely. Many of the guests
complimented me on my well behaved girls, who were such a big help.........but
when it came time for cake, my children were asked by the hostess to wait
until everyone else (including the adults) had cake before they got a piece.
Their faces just fell....This was totally unnecessary.....it was a VERY
large cake....(there was almost half a cake left over.)
To add insult to injury, there were goodie bags for
everyone.....even the teenagers.......with the exception my two older
children.
Why did she tell me they were welcome and then make them feel
so UNwelcome? I just don't get it. I think it was really rude
.Guests0208-04
My DH works for a fairly large company, but his branch
consists of only seven people. Every year for Christmas the local branch has a
party at the same upscale restaurant. Spouses are welcome/expected to attend
this gathering. Also, let me add here that there is no pre-set "party
menu". You are welcome to order anything off the menu, including
alcohol.
Well, there is a nice but rather unpolished man in this
office. Despite his lack of polish, he has never been anything but polite in my
presence. His wife is the problem. At the most recent party she committed two
rather large etiquette sins in my book. It didn't start out that badly. She
mentioned that her daughter was going to have to have more surgery. (Her
daughter has numerous health problems and is wheelchair bound). Someone
politely asked, "Is it anything serious? Will she be alright?" At
this point, this woman began an in-depth discussion about her daughter's
INCONTINENCE problems. All of this as we are trying to enjoy a lovely main
course. At one point, due to the green facial color several people were
developing, my husband's boss told her that was enough and that she was making
people sick.
The last straw happened just as we were all leaving. The
office secretary was writing a check from petty cash to cover the cost of the
meal (easily $1000). The same woman then comments "Well, since the check
has been paid I'll just take these bottles of wine." (There were several
unopened bottles of wine on the table as part of the decorations.) Our waiter
heard her and explained that "No ma'am, I'm sorry those weren't included
on the check." I found out from my husband the restaurant called asking
for their $150 the next day to cover the cost of the wine that SHE HAD TAKEN
AFTER BEING TOLD IT WASN'T PART OF THE CHECK. She later tried to blame the
secretary's husband saying he had taken them, but had given them to her in the
parking lot!!! Something tells me the company may change which restaurant they
use this year - if they throw a party at all after that!!
Guests0304-04
I was amazed I had one story to contribute to your site,
which is now proudly in the Bosses from Hell section, but now I have a second.
This is about the guest from hell. My daughter is in High
School. One of her friends, Christa, really did not get along with her
mother. She had just graduated from high school and was taking classes at
the local college and working part time. She had babysat for us on
occasion and we liked her.
Well, one day our oldest comes to us and says that Christie's
mother has thrown her out and asked if she could stay with us for a while.
My husband and I talk about it and decide that the kid is nice enough,
and with a few shufflings (we are a family of 7) we can manage it. We
tell Christa that she can share a bedroom with our oldest and the house rules.
We had told her that this was just temporary, she was to keep looking for
another place to live because out house was already so crowded. At first
we had discussed telling her 3 months, but that put it right at the end of the
holidays so we told Christa she had 4 months to find some place else to live,
at the end of that time she had to leave. We came to an agreement on rent
and all other minor details. I figured this wouldn't€™t be a problem,
so many people in the house already, what's one more. Big Problem!!!
First, she never paid her rent on time. It was really
more of a token payment as it didn't even cover the increase in our electric
and gas bills. But, we would have to ask for it every month. Then,
she broke things. With all of the kids we have we don't have a lot of
money for extras. One of the things I got when my grandmother died was an
8 cup measuring cup that I loved. Something I would never buy for
myself. She broke this, never apologized, never even told me, one
of my other children ended up telling me about it.
Christa never cleaned up after herself. I was
constantly digging her socks out of the couch cushions and asking her to please
use a coaster or not to leave bags of popcorn on the couch overnight. She
would take over the TV from the younger kids like she owned the place causing
quite a few hard feelings among the younger children who were told to be nice
to Christa. Things also started disappearing, a good cooling rack, my
make-up, and other things that don't cost a lot, but I really don't have the
money to replace on a whim. Then we find out that she helped our oldest
daughter to skip school by calling in to the school and saying she (Christa)
was me and that my daughter had a doctor's appointment.
Finally the end of January comes and we let Christa know she
has to be out. She waits until the last day to finally start calling
around and trying to find a friend to put her up for a few days. She
finally leaves, without ever paying us January's rent.
To top it all off January's phone bill came, and there is a
90 minute long distance phone call on it that cost $25. No one else could
have made the call but her. I told my husband and daughter, never
again!!!
Guests0308-04
My story is about in-laws dropping in and expecting me to
give up my plans to entertain them. These visit happen in a two day notice.
They are usually traveling to FL. They use my house as a DEW DROP INN. On there
way back to there northern home they stop again expecting dinner and
entertainment. What is the best way to tell these traveling people I do not run
a hotel.
Guests0204-04
My Bat Mitzvah was in 1990. A baby photo of me was
blown up to poster size and surrounded with thick white matting, to be put on
display at the evening party. The guests then wrote messages on the
matting with black markers. You'd think we'd have known better than to
have the photo out there with a bunch of 12-and-13 year old boys - by the end
of the night, my baby face had a moustache and glasses drawn on it. (The
culprit's mother paid for a replacement photo.)
Guests0304-04
I was spending the summer with my sister - quite a few years
back now. Her husband was in the armed forces and away most of the summer so I
went out to work there and had fun keeping her company. The summer was
great until ... her sister in law arrived for a visit. Lets call her .... oh
something polite for a change - Ethel! Ethel arrives, virtually
unannounced to stay for a "brief" visit. Turned into two weeks of
torture. She is a chain smoker, my sister and I don't smoke. She insisted it
was rude not to let her smoke in the small apartment. Okay. Strike one. Every time
we turned our backs she lit up.
She wouldn't pay for anything. And I mean anything
(you'll see later how extreme this was), and expected my sister to pay for her
to get into all the touristy things. After all she was the guest wasn't she.
Oh... and she expected my sister to drop what she was doing and take her around
the city. Strike two. My sister spent a fortune on this witless gob.
Now comes the big finish. Ethel is getting ready to leave and fly home. Big
relief all around. She finally leaves and my sister and I discover the biggest
lack of well... we were speechless. An hour after Ethel left, I went into the
bathroom - it was that time of the month for both my sister and I. Opened up
the bathroom cupboard and ... yup... Ethel cleaned us out of all our sanitary
products. I mean ALL! Not a couple (could have understood taking some) but
every pad, every tampon, everything. 3 empty boxes sat in the cupboard.
How's that for class.
I won't even get started on the Turkey leg incident that occurred
years later, the yappy, peeing dog she acquired later, her boorish and crass behavior
at my sister's funeral 2 years ago (lets just say I very firmly pointed out to
her, we were grieving and did NOT want a family reunion - complete with
numerous people we didn't really know, booze and lots of loud conversation - in
our living room so please leave), nor were we willing to baby-sit her very dysfunctional
granddaughter while she went out that night. I'll leave that for
future installments.
Guests0412-04
I offered to throw my friend Candy a baby shower for her
second child. Her first child had been born without lungs, so he was stillborn.
She and I have been very good friends since she was a freshman and I was a
junior in high school, and we had a lot of the same friends. Her husband's
grandmother offered her house for the shower because she has a big living room
and kitchen and we were expecting between 20 and 30 people. I sent out
invitations with maps and phone numbers and asked those who could make it to
please RSVP. I had about 25 people call and RSVP. I came up with 6 or 7
different games and I even bought awesome prizes to give out for the games.
Only 7 people showed up. I had food, cake, punch, favors, and games/prizes for
the 25 people who said they were going to come. I felt bad for my friend, since
most of the no-shows were her family. In the end, we played all the games
(everyone won at least one prize) and we ate a lot of food, and she did get
some nice things for the baby. I just think that if someone RSVP's for anything
they should call if they are going to be unable to attend. That is just common
courtesy.
Guests0419-04
Reading the many stories on your site reminded me of my
first, last, and only visit to my Aunt and Uncle's home. I was a
nineteen-year-old student working almost full time at a variety of jobs to help
pay my way through university. Making ends meet was tricky at best most of the
time.
One of my aunts spent most of the big Thanksgiving visit with
the grandparents that year inviting me to come visit her family for a long
weekend that winter and teach my cousin to ski (one of my jobs in the winters
was as a ski-instructor). She lived about a five hour drive from my university,
so just making the trip wasn't trivial once I counted in time off work and gas
money. My mother also quietly warned me that there's a reason nobody in the
family visits them. I declined several times on the grounds of needing to work
-- especially busy holiday weekends -- to make ends meet and not being able to
afford the trip.
My uncle jumps in reminding me how much the cousin loves me
and really wants to learn to ski. I suggest lessons. They say she tried group
ones, but they didn't work and she's too shy to deal with a stranger one on
one. Still, finances don't work. The pair of them finally realize I'm a poor
starving college student worried about money (which is a rather foreign concept
for them as they are quite comfortable financially). They repeatedly assure me
that money isn't an issue here. They'll take care of everything and pay me my
usual rate for lessons to make up for missing work. So I agree to make the trip
on the indicated weekend -- mostly because I adore the cousin.
Having no Friday afternoon classes that semester, I arrived
at their house around seven in the evening rather tired and in need of rest.
I'd hit rush hour in a nearby city, it was snowing, and it had not been a fun
drive. They greeted me warmly. I give them a small hostess gift I'd knit for
them. They just looked at it funny, told me to toss my things in the guest room
upstairs, and that I could find sheets and things in the closet. I got into the
room to find a stripped bare bed, make it up from the things in the closet, and
freshen up a bit.
When I got back downstairs they informed me that they're
hosting a dinner party that night for some friends. Okay. Not ideal in my
current mood and I didn't bring dinner party clothes, but I figure I can paste
on a bright smile and go with it. Then they inform me that I'm not invited and
I'll need to steer clear of the house from then until at least eleven. They
suggest places I can go like clubs and restaurants.
I'm flabbergasted, but attempt to beg off that I'm too tired
after the trip. Could I just rest and maybe do a little studying in the guest
room? Absolutely not. It would be rude for me to be in the house and not at the
party, but it's an exclusive rotating dinner party thing they do with this
group of friends and they can't invite me. Cousin is staying with a friend and
I must go out for the night.
Like an idiot, out I go. Hungry and not wanting to spend much
money on clubs or restaurants, I grab a small baguette and some cheese from the
grocery store, eat it in the car, and find a book store with a coffee shop to
haunt for the night. Of course the store closes at ten and I wind up with
nothing to do for the last hour but park somewhere and read by the dome light
in my car.
Finally back at the house, they inform me we're going skiing
the next two days and I should be up and ready by six. The next morning they
rush me out the door without breakfast because they were running late and
wanted to get there when the slopes opened. They assure me we'll stop for
breakfast. We do. At an expensive bakery where they order a bunch of things and
don't even ask what I want. After they pay, the aunt turns to me and informs me
that everything is good so I should get whatever tickles my fancy. Gee, maybe
not having to spend ten bucks to get a pastry and coffee for breakfast? What
about that covering everything bit? I hedge that this is a bit out of my price
range and Uncle informs me it's less than the food will be at the mountain. I
buy the least expensive thing I can find and ask for a cup of water. Aunt
sniffs as I join them at the table and makes some pithy comment about how she
can't believe that's all I'm having. The urge to strangle grows in intensity.
We get to the mountain. Shocker of shockers, their family
membership doesn't include cousins. My uncle argues with the management for
quite some time and then turns to me and says, "Well, I guess you're just
going to have to pay for your own lift ticket." My jaw drops. I stammer
for a long moment and try to politely get across the notion that I wasn't
expecting to spend that money nor can I afford it. I hadn't even brought enough
funds along to buy lift tickets and have enough gas money for the return trip.
My uncle looks at me incredulously and says they thought the
membership would cover it and they didn't intend to pay for it either --
especially after they were already paying me to instruct. Now, I rode with them
and have no transport for the hour drive back to the house. It's apparently
either buy the lift ticket or sit all day and disappoint my cousin who'd been
excitedly emailing me for weeks about the trip. Like an idiot, I dug into my
meager stash of money and pay for the lift ticket with most of the funds I had
on hand.
I spent an enjoyable morning getting my cousin comfortable on
the slopes and used to moving on skis. We actually had a great time together.
She's a fantastic kid. Shame about the parents.
Lunchtime comes. I have literally five dollars in crumpled
bills in the bottom of my wallet and some random change. There's no ATM. I
hesitantly explain this to the parental units and request payment for the
lessons as agreed. Recall they were going to pay my normal hourly rate. Aunt
passes over ten bucks.
That, um, no. Just no. That does not get you a full day of
private lesson time. Not at my mountain. Not at any mountain anywhere.
I explain my normal hourly rate. She indignantly declares
that a total rip-off and says she gets group lessons for ten dollars a day as
part of their family membership. And this has what to do with our agreement?
Give me the couple thousand dollar membership fee and I'll work for ten bucks a
day, too. Cousin pipes up that mom wouldn't pay for private lessons at the
membership rate either because it was too much. Apparently somebody wasn't as
shy as reported.
At this point I realize there's just no point in trying to
deal rationally with these people. I take my ten bucks and get myself some tea,
soup, and a big stack of crackers. Aunt again makes a remark about how little
I'm eating. My violent fantasies move from strangulation to beheading.
As soon as I can possibly get away, I take the cousin out for
a pleasant afternoon teaching her Stem Christie turns and getting her off the
bunny hill and onto the beginner slopes. The group lessons must have been lousy
because the kid picks it all up very quickly. She's also very gracious and
thanks me several times for all the help. Apparently being dumped on my mother
for the summer had taught the kid some manners because she apologizes for her
parents' behavior and hopes I'm not mad at her. Yes, the eight year old
completely outclassed her parents. I praised her heavily for it, too.
So, homeward we go. Yes, we stop at the bakery again on the
way home. No, they don't pay for anything for me. I order nothing. Aunt mocks
again. Cousin gives me half of hers claiming not to be very hungry. Bless the
kid. I was starving after such a workout.
We get back to their place and I just start packing. The aunt
and uncle can't believe I'm leaving. I'd agreed to spend two days giving the
kid skiing lessons. I point out that I'd expected to have my lift tickets
covered and be paid my normal rate. They call the rate ridiculous. I apologize,
but insist that I simply can't afford to miss this much work and spend another
sixty dollars on a lift ticket the next day.
They indignantly insist that I get the fun of skiing. Oh,
yea. A day of bunny slope and beginner trails with an eight year old neophyte
in tow is a ski instructor's idea of a fun day skiing. I love the kid dearly,
but that was work. The good kind of work, but work nonetheless. Also, I have a
staff pass at my mountain and don't normally have to pay for the fun of skiing.
They throw a hissy fit that I promised and cousin will be
hurt. Ha! Cousin the non-shrinking violet got the big picture better than her
parents did. I promise to assure cousin I'm leaving for reasons having nothing
to do with her personally.
Acting very put out, they grudgingly offer to pay for my lift
ticket the next day if I'll just stay. They don't want to disappoint cousin and
since I'm being so difficult about it, they'll split the unexpected lift ticket
cost with me. Since cousin is so great and I'm not likely to be able to pick up
hours at work on no notice anyway, I stay. More the fool am I.
They insist on going out to dinner that night. There's a long
awkward moment where I get the impression they're expecting me to pick up the
check. I don't. I imagine their heads exploding instead.
Sunday: Make ordeal out of paying for lift ticket? Check. No
breakfast at home? Check. Stop at expensive bakery twice? Check. No help with
lunch? Check. Cousin caught onto this, orders big and practices sharing? Check.
Seething parents at her antics? Check. Make mental note to self to do something
wonderful for the kid when I get a chance? Check. Wonder how strong acid would
have to be to disintegrate these people? Check.
Just when I think it's over, they have plans for Sunday
night. Just the parents. Another dinner party with the exclusive friends at
somebody else's house. They point at a folder of take-out menus and tell me the
kid loves pizza. Then they bolt before saying another word leaving me to baby-sit
for the night. Did they leave money to buy the kid her pizza? No. Do I have
more than a couple crumpled bills in the bottom of my wallet after buying a few
cups of tea at the mountain? Nope. Is there food in the house I could use to
make dinner instead of buying it? Unless I want ketchup and soy packets on some
moldy bread, nope. Convince self doing time for murder really isn't worth it
even if it would keep the crazy people away from the perfectly nice kid? Yup
... barely.
I slap on a smile, load the kid in my car, and go searching
for an ATM in the unfamiliar town. Luckily I'd remembered seeing one near the
book store. I empty some funds out of my meager bank account and take the kid
out for pizza. What else can I do? Not feed her? Abandon her and go back to
university? None of this was the kid's fault. She seemed downright mortified
that this was happening at all and kept apologizing for her idiot parents. And
how bad does it have to be if a third grader is mortified by their parents'
lack of class?
We actually have a fun night out at a thankfully inexpensive
and pretty decent pizza place the cousin suggested. We got lost a few times
trying to find it since she only knew it was near her school and didn't quite
have the directions thing down, but all part of the adventure. The cousin and I
still laugh about having to ask a guy in a clown suit for directions. We still
don't know what was up with the clown suit either. There wasn't exactly a
circus or kid's birthday party nearby.
The next morning, the idiot Aunt and Uncle inform me they
have a hockey game. They're going to take cousin and pick up breakfast on the
way. I'm supposed to tag along and try to get an extra ticket. I cut my losses
and develop a sudden deep desire to make it back to university before the
library closes.
A few days later, my mother calls. Apparently the Aunt called
her to complain that I visited for the long weekend, took advantage of their
hospitality, didn't help out with anything, and stuck them with the check when
I took them out to dinner!
And they wonder why nobody in the family likes to visit them.
Guests0511-04
My parents and I first met the fiancée of one of my uncles
when I was in high school. They came from the state they were living in to
visit all of my uncle's relatives in our state. On Christmas Day, at the home
our my parents and I, my uncle's fiancée asked my father if she could use the
telephone. Uncle's fiancée neglects to mention she wants to use the phone to
direct-dial a long-distance call, so of course my father said yes. My dad
didn't really stop to think that there wasn't really anyone she knew in the
local calling sphere that she'd absolutely have to call on Christmas Day, or
that she'd try to stiff us on a phone call.
But, lo and behold, when the phone bill encompassing
Christmas Day arrives, there's a charge for a call for something like 20
minutes to where we were able to figure out was the number at the home of
Uncle's fiancée's mum. As I mentioned, she made a general request to use the
telephone, and I think most people would agree that when you're a social guest
in someone's home (especially when you're meeting someone for the first time),
being granted a general request to use the phone is permission to make a local
call only-- not a toll call, or not to get some other service that might cost
money, like directory assistance.
And, surprise-- neither Uncle, nor Uncle's Fiancée ever
offered up, "Hey, let us know what the charge is when the bill comes
in," or, "Here's some money for the call, if you find it's not
enough, let us know." My parents and I were busy visiting with our other
guests at the time, so my dad had no idea who she was talking to or for how
long. I had no idea she'd used the phone until I happened to go into the
kitchen (can't remember now what I even went in there for) and I happened to
see her hang up the phone, and my mom didn't know she'd used the phone until
the bill arrived. My parents initially chewed me out, and said they were going
to give me a list of extra chores because I had a number of pen pals at
the time, and they thought I had called one of my pen pals.
Guests0520-04
I saw an e-mail sent from my uncle to my parents, stating
that he and his wife were going to be coming in a few weeks to the
area that we live to attend my uncle's 20-year high school reunion, and to have
a short reunion because of their 10-year wedding anniversary. Granted I'm not
psychic, but I got the impression from the way the e-mail was worded that the
e-mail was sent more to scope us out for a free place to stay in the event that
their friend they were planning on staying with flaked out, and a free ride
from the airport, again in the event their friend bailed on them.
Just minutes before boarding their first leg, and only about
three hours before they were going to need to be picked up at the airport, my
uncle drops on us that we're going to have to pick them up at the airport, and
that we're going to have to put them up for all nights except the night of the
reunion, because, SURPRISE, their friend didn't come through.
Granted, a couple days before, my uncle had been "nice" enough to let
my mom know that he still hadn't been able to speak with the friend they wanted
to stay with, but that he was going to keep trying. I don't know why at that
point he didn't just decide to abandon that plan and get a room for every night
or ask my mom if they could stay with us (and, yes, yes, in the absence of him
doing that, my mom should've politely told him to tinkle or get off the potty
earlier).
Then, when they arrived, it should have been quite
obvious the bathroom they were using had been freshly cleaned (I'd worked hard
to clean it up to "company standards" on short notice" ) and
that fresh towels were up, yet my uncle's wife got a big, huge glob of eye
make-up on one of the body towels, and just hung it back up. I wound up
using that towel, and got eye-make up all over my leg. OK, I've never
worn make-up, ever, but I thought women thoroughly washed the make-up off their
faces in the shower. Call me crazy. Clearly I am wrong. Learn
somethin' new every day! Also, one of them tracked in a big set of muddy
footprints into the shower floor, which I had gotten down on my hands and knees
to scrub. (As I said, it was clear this was a freshly cleaned bathroom
they had goin' on here for 'em!) And they had to have been blind to see
they tracked in that dirt!
Guests0528-04
I received an invitation to a Rubber Stamp party (similar to
Tupperware: you hear the spiel, see the product and then the hostess gets
prizes/discounts based on whatever the guests buy) from a friend that I hadn't
seen in almost a year. The invitation came about two days before the event
(hmm... was I a last minute addition in an attempt to boost the number of
guests?). As I had already made plans, I called to let my friend know that I
could not attend. After telling her this, she suggested that we "get
together for coffee so we could catch up". I agreed, and having my
datebook in front of me, asked when a good time was for her. She made a few
stuttering remarks, and paused for a while - at which point I apologized and
said "Oh, I'm sorry. You probably don't have your calendar in front of
you!" She said, "Actually I do...", and after a few more awkward
moments I suggested that she give me a call when she knew of a good time.
Surprise, surprise - I haven't heard from her since. For goodness sake, if she
didn't want to go for coffee why would she even suggest it!
Guests0601-04
My cousin and his wife recently purchased a house. We were
very excited for them because they had been living with his wife's family for
at least 3 years and they needed their space! We received a invitation to their
housewarming party and as we opened it, a two page, HAND-WRITTEN list of
"Gift Suggestions" fell out. This list included items such as
coffee maker (in black and chrome), Martha Stewart muffin tins, and queen size
sheets! Yikes! I was under the assumption that a housewarming gift was a bottle
of wine or a plant. Apparently not! When they came to our housewarming party 2
years ago- they did not even bring a card! Now, we are expected to furnish
their son's room (a fluffy rug in brown and creamy yellow). The topper on the
whole invite was that my mother already gave them a housewarming gift but she
still got the hand-written list! Guests0528-04
I don't know if there is something wrong with me, or if I
just choose the wrong people to be friends with. During the Olympic season of
2000 a friend of mine was flying over for a month to see the Olympics and
travel around. What ensued was the holiday from hell (except getting pregnant
was the only good outcome from this).
First, I had arranged with my friend that I would pay for
travel and we would be able to stay with friends and family. I arranged
everything months in advance.
Before Alien even arrived Anna and I were to spend 2 days
with Kathy. When we arrived at her home she wasn't there and her flatmate told
us that she was at the pub. We went down to meet her and some point through the
night, without warning, she vanished on us. Upon returning to her home the next
day after a shopping expedition we found that she had locked the doors and kept
everything of ours inside. Fortunately for us, when she answered our knock I
was wearing steel capped boots so when she slammed the door I felt nothing.
After a big fight (I have never seen Anna so angry in my life) we got inside
and got our stuff. There was no valid reason for this behavior and her now ex
flatmate told me that it was because she hadn't wanted to return the shoes that
Anna had lent her.
Then Alien arrived. I thought that paying for airfare was
pretty generous, but she expected me to pay for everything. And I mean
everything. She arrived with $30 for a months holiday. For the next month on a
payment that wouldn't normally support me I had to support the two of us, and
she expected me to pay for gifts for her friends and family, food, the whole
works. Needless to say there was days that went by that I didn't eat anything.
She'd eat my meals on the plane (in one case that was good because she got some
nasty food poisoning and I missed out) and then the worst night was a night at
a casino.
I'm not much of a gambler so I watched Anna and Alien play. I
was watching Anna play roulette when Alien approached the table, picked up one
of Anna's chips without asking and place it on a number. Oddly, it won a lot of
money. Now it would be fair to say that she didn't deserve the money because
she hadn't asked for the chip but Anna was willing to go halves in it. Alien
refused to part with one single cent of the money. Obviously Anna was upset and
stormed out of the casino. I would have been fine with that because she had
every reason to be angry, but she had my wallet in her pocket with our train fare
home. Its okay, I thought, Alien has some money. Nope, would not pay a cent for
me to get on the train. All she said was when I asked she pay for it was
"What would you have done if I hadn't won the money?" I told her I
would have paid for it with the money in my purse. She didn't care and left me
there, in the middle of the night in Sydney. I had to walk as far as I could
until I