Guests

House guests, party guests, Ignorant hosts

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My friend "Beatrice" is the daughter of a former professional opera singer. Her mother, "Victoria", is a diva, pure and simple. There have been many, many divaish acts, but the one that I still remember most is this:

When we were in our late teens and early 20s, Beatrice and I would go out on the town and I'd stay over at her place afterwards. Beatrice's father, "Albert" would often pick us up from the pub (the legal drinking age here is 18, so we were both of age to drink) or from the train station, and drive us home.

One evening, he was driving the two of us home, when we saw Victoria out walking the family dog. He pulled over to talk to his wife. I smiled and waved at Victoria, but didn't say anything, because I thought it would be rude to interrupt the conversation.

We arrived back at Beatrice's house shortly before her mother. Five minutes after Victoria arrived home, Beatrice pulled me aside. She told me that Victoria was terribly upset, because I had ignored her in the car. This wasn't true; I had made eye contact with her, I had smiled, and I had waved. I hadn't spoken to her, but that was only because I didn't want to interrupt.

I felt bad, and I went looking for Victoria to apologize. She was taking a shower, so I went to bed, as it was getting late.

The next morning, Victoria spent all of breakfast lecturing me. She told me I was rude and disrespectful for ignoring her the previous night. She complained that none of Beatrice's friends were polite to her. She told me that her menopause was making her moody, and that I needed to be nicer to her.

Perhaps I was rude in not interrupting their conversation to say hello (and if I deserve eHell for that, I'll pay my dues), but isn't lecturing a guest ruder?

I never stayed overnight at Beatrice's place again.

Guests0109-06

Several years ago, my husband and I moved to a new house. I immediately hit it off with our next-door neighbor, a woman somewhat older than me, but a very interesting and (I thought) a very gracious person who I will call Sue. We had her and her husband to dinner a number of times, and I would take walks with her fairly frequently around the neighborhood. 

After a year or two of this sort of interaction, I believed we were truly becoming good friends. Then, Sue and her husband sold their house and moved to a much larger, more impressive and expensive house a couple of miles away. Sue assured me that she and her husband would keep in touch, that as soon as they were settled they would at last reciprocate by having my husband and me to dinner, etc. I was invited over for a walk or a cup of tea once or twice, for an hour in the afternoon, when Sue could pencil me in (she does not work and all her children are in school full-time, whereas I at the time had a small infant; nonetheless, it was always me who went to her house). The promised invitation for dinner was never forthcoming, although on almost every occasion when I saw Sue, she would volunteer (no prodding on my part, I assure you!) that, "Oh, we're going to have you and your husband to dinner sometime soon." 

However, on one memorable occasion I was invited to an Easter party that was to include an egg hunt for the kids. I heard about this party by telephone only 2 or 3 days before it was to occur, and Sue said that it was to be a dessert potluck and so I should bring a dessert of some sort and arrive at 2 o'clock. She also told me that a mutual acquaintance of ours was to be there and that she was looking forward to seeing me. Because of the short notice, my husband (who has a demanding job) was unable to attend, but I gladly accepted. 

The day before the party, I received a phone call from Mutual Acquaintance, confirming that I would be at the party and that I should arrive at 2. It sounded as though she were calling on behalf of the hostess, Sue, but I wasn't sure, and while I found the call puzzling I didn't think any more about it. The next day, just before 2, I packed up my daughter and the cake, and drove the short distance to Sue's house. Given that I was arriving at what I had been led to believe was the beginning time of this event, I expected to be among the very first arrivals. Instead, I found cars spilling out of the driveway and down both sides of the road for quite a distance. If not for the fact that both Mutual Acquaintance and Sue had told me the same thing, I would have thought I had made a mistake about the time. 

Anyway, I got my daughter out of the seat, balanced her and the cake, walked about 500 yards in the rain up to the front door - only to find once I was inside that this party was clearly in full swing. *Dozens* of people, many with kids, were there, and it became quickly apparent that the "dessert potluck" had been preceded by a lunch for what I could only assume were the "A" list guests. I put my dessert contribution down on the table (given that the other guests' contributions were already out, and that everyone had already started on dessert, it was barely touched). A rowdy Easter egg hunt for the kids - wildly inappropriate for children as young as my daughter - followed, after which Sue actually asked that all the kids return to her the cheap plastic eggs in which the bits of candy had been concealed. When I finally was able to speak to Sue for a moment, I asked her where I might find Mutual Acquaintance (the only person I knew at this gathering), and was told that she had "left just a little bit ago, right after lunch". 

Needless to say, my daughter and I left soon after ourselves, and my opinion of Sue has been irrevocably altered for the worse. I have heard of B-listing people for weddings (which I think is a terrible thing to do), but for a holiday gathering at your home? I still hear from Sue on occasion, but on the few occasions we have made plans to get together one on one, she has always cancelled at the last minute, and I have been unreceptive to her invitations to come to other large get-togethers. It still gives me a good story to laugh about, though!

Guests0106-06

Here's my story.  The guests in question are rude, but the hostess isn't exactly going about things the right way either:

My boyfriend and I had been invited to a party at M's house.  M had not only decided to invite friends (keep in mind, my boyfriend and I are in our early 20's and we're the some of the older ones at this party), but she also invited our parents.  Being that it's Christmas, and caroling was mentioned as an activity, combined with the addition of parents on the guest list, I prepared myself for a "mature Christmas get together". 

During the party, M pulls me aside.  She explains (with a straight face) that two guests, D and J (mutual friends of ours) wanted to go have sex, but didn't have any condoms and would I give them one of mine?  I informed her I definitely didn't have any condoms on me and gave her a bit of a strange look.  Boyfriend and I laughed about it after we left though.

Pardon my sarcasm, but apparently hormones trump etiquette.

Guests0201-06

A few years an old friend from school "L" was having a hard time. I invited her to come and visit me for a weekend in NYC. Since money was tight and she lived across the country I offered her a free airline ticket I had to make the trip easier. It was in January. Months go by and she keeps putting off the trip claiming she can't afford to travel. But she was able to go to Asia and Egypt during that time.  

Finally we plan for a visit in October, on Halloween weekend. We agree to wear costumes and go to the parade in the Village. I also invite a mutual friend "D" who lives a few hours away to spend the weekend.    Knowing "L" is on a restricted diet I call her a week before her arrival asking what she can and can't eat. She assures me that she can eat anything and is not picky. I stock up on variety of both healthy and junk food.   

The night of her arrival I was an hour late picking her up at the airport. She was aware that I was going to be late due to work (it was the Friday night before election day and I knew that it would be impossible to get out of work on time). I  arranged to have another mutual friend "S" meet us at the airport with her car but she was also late. Finally we get into "S's" car. I hop in the backseat to sit with "S's" 4 year daughter who is shy of strangers. Our next stop is back to Manhattan to pick up "D" at Penn Station. All the way there I hear "L" complaining to "S" about how inconsiderate I am to be late.

We finally get to Penn, find parking, and look for "D". She is no where to be found. When I call her house I find out that she missed two trains and wont be arriving for a few hours, this is pre-cell phones. We make the best of it, find a place to hang out and catch up. "L" is still complaining, but the 4 year old who also has to wait is an angel.

Finally "D" shows up. We head to my place. I put out things for us to snack on while "L" complains to "D" about my apartment. She doesn't like the fact that I live above a bar (something she knew), doesn't like how it is decorated, and of course nothing I am serving she can eat. "S" gets fed up, wishes me luck, and leaves with her now tired (but well behaved) child. "L" also complains about the sleeping arrangements. I gave her my bed, "D" took the couch, and I slept on the floor.   

The next day we are lazy and don't get up until lunch time. I offer to either cook or order take out. "L" agrees to me cooking and on the menu, but the complaints start as soon as lunch is served. "D" (the peacemaker) stops me from killing her. Around 3pm I suggest we start getting our costumes on and heading into the Village so we can find a good spot to see the parade. "L" announces that not only did she not bring a costume, but she didn't bring a jacket or anything warm to wear (she lives in a warm weather state). Fortunately I not only have a fitting costume for her (a witch) but a warm sweater she can wear. After much hemming and hawing we arrive at the parade far too late to get a good spot. Instead we wander around enjoying the side shows. "D" gets hungry and suggests we get pizza. "L" bitches that it is too expensive and she only has $20 on her. We offer to treat, but why would someone come all the way to NYC with only $20 and not bother to tell anyone else until after the fact is beyond me.    

The next day we agree to hang out and do nothing except catch up. About an hour before "D's" train is scheduled to leave "L" starts getting pissed that she hasn't gone up the Empire State building. "L" has lived close to NYC before. It is not her first time here. Plus if it was that important she should have mentioned it hours earlier. We take "D" to Penn. She makes me swear I will not kill "L" before she leaves the next morning. I reluctantly agree.   "L" and I head back to my place. I suggest a movie (her choice) and take out (her choice again). Early the next morning I call a cab to take her to the airport before I go to work. Even though I pay  the driver, she bitches that I am not going with her to the airport. Sorry, I have to get to work.   Of course I never get a thank you. "L" tells "D" that I never responded to her emails (never got them). Over the years I have gotten over my anger and I still talk to "L" every few months but she will never be invited into my home again.       

Guests0205-06

My grandmother on my mom's side is a very fun and loving person. As such, she has a lot of friends. One friend, "Jill", was a pretty sweet person too, and I liked her a lot...until one holiday meal. Jill loaded up her plate high with all the yummy food my parents and I had prepared, nibbled at it, and then threw most of it away while my cousin watched. I can understand if you don't like the food, but why pile your plate with stuff if you're not sure you will like it or feel like eating it?

But the worst, consistently, is "Tammy". Tammy is a very loud person, and generally I try to avoid her when she comes over. She wears brightly colored wigs and crazy furs and is nice, I suppose...just loud. Generally, we tell people a time for our dinners, and people usually come around that time. Not Tammy. She always comes hours late, when we are finished putting the food away, and then demands us to fix her a plate. One time, she wanted a plate for her and her mother. I couldn't deal with her, so I told her to fix it herself because I didn't know how much she wanted. (possibly rude?...maybe I'm going to EHell too!) Oh boy, did she...we looked the next day and there was very little left over. Another time, she came really late with her boyfriend, who hardly said a word and tried to monopolize the television without asking. At least she reprimanded him for that. They ate huge amounts of food, of course, and left as quickly as they had come. Tammy is a good person...she's just kind of rude.

Guests0328-06

I recently got an "evite" for a housewarming party from a woman I barely know. I don't know when "evites" became proper, but I have gotten a ton of them in the last few months for various events.

This woman is a friend of a friend. She and I have met a few times, but never hung out socially aside from events involving our mutual friend. "Anna" just bought her first home in my hometown. The "evite" included me and about 100 other people and associated significant others. Obviously, she sent it to everyone in her address book. My husband and I cannot attend as we live 800 miles away, but I love it when a 28-old woman ends an invitation "BYOB not required, but always appreciated."

Guests0421-06

When I was in university, I had some friends over with whom I'd been close for several years. They brought with them a friend of theirs, "George", who was younger than us by at least 3 years (he was 18, maybe) and who I'd never really liked. (When we were in high school, he'd literally taken his pants down in a crowded sit-down restaurant and mooned us--horrifying. Why they continued to socialize with him I'll never know.) My roommates and I hadn't seen the guy for a few years and hoped he'd changed. No chance. After an hour or two of being inside, he went out on our second story porch and peed onto the public BBQ grill on the first floor. He wasn't drunk and he completely ignored our cries of protest, laughing the whole time. Absolutely disgusting and rude for a number of reasons, one of which being that we didn't want to get kicked out of our complex! We told our friends that he was no longer welcome at our apartment after that.

Guests0425-06

1. Once my cousin unexpectedly came to stay from out of town. As I was a young female and he's a male, he insisted on the couch (I had no prior warning to prepare a spare bed, and was a student with few resources). Thanks, fine. Imagine my horror at being wakened in the night by the loud sound of-er-breaking wind. As my eyes adjusted to the dimness I realized my sleepwalking cousin had opened my closet and was urinating all over my shoes!!!!! I know I was spineless but I had no idea what to say or do, so lay literally frozen with shock while he concluded-at length. The next day I tactfully mentioned that he had been sleepwalking, and he laughed and said he often does that-did he mistake anywhere for the toilet?? Upon my confirmation he laughed more and did not offer to pay for shoes or clean the floor/closet. To this day the loss of shoes is less severe to me than the 'eeeeuuuuwwww' factor of this entire incident! I feel sorry for his lovely new-wife but have never had the nerve to ask her if he still does it! Expensive for shoes...

2.  When a student, I had a friend's friend move in to help with rent. This is common in my town and I had met him lots of times. 'Bruce' seemed very nice and normal. On our first day of flat sharing, I came home to find my coffee mug and spoon from that morning washed, dried, and on my bed. I was subjected to a lecture for not washing up (I am not messy but usually do this after a meal, not one coffee!). The red flag started to go up, but neat freaks can be lived with, sometimes, I don't like a mess myself..... That night Bruce came into my bedroom and proceeded to climb into my bed with me-apropos of nothing. He explained that he wouldn't expect anything beyond a cuddle. Oh, that's alright then. Red flag unfurled and billowing gracefully. After being banished, the next morning Bruce seemed a bit abashed but acted otherwise normally. When I came home that afternoon, he had totally disappeared. All clothes, boxes, everything. Just an empty room. I never knew where he went and was so relieved that I didn't even care about the lost rent. To this day I chuckle about the lonely clean mug on my bed as some kind of mafia housecleaning sentinel.

Guests0513-06

A few years ago, a friend in another city wrote to tell me that a friend of his would soon be on vacation in my city, and to ask me if I would have drinks or dinner with him for a couple of nights since he didn't know many people locally. I had heard stories about what a fun person he was to be with, so I agreed.

We hit it off over drinks when we met, and since I was free the next night, I agreed to have dinner with him and another friend of his. I suggested an excellent but moderately priced cafe. Unfortunately, when we arrived, he went through the wrong door into the adjacent, very posh, restaurant. I tried to steer us back to the cafe, but he said flatly "I'm on vacation, and I can afford it," and went to the hostess to ask for a table.

Was it naive of me to take that as a commitment to pick up the check? Apparently so, because his response to receiving it was to calculate how much each of us owed--about eighty dollars for my food and drinks (which, thankfully, I had enough cash on hand to pay). (All of the food was served family-style, and he'd taken the liberty of ordering some things that I'd never have chosen for myself.) At the time, as I had certainly made clear in the two evenings of conversation, I had a very low-paying job and was living with my parents, and he (about ten years older) was doing quite well for himself. And while it might have been a special occasion worth that kind of money for him, from my perspective I was just entertaining him as a favor to my friend.

I accepted the situation as gracefully as I could and the evening ended pleasantly. Or at least I thought it did; the kicker is that while I expected a friendly e-mail of thanks and perhaps the occasional online chat thereafter, I never heard from him again. I don't imagine I'll be doing my friend many favors of this nature again.

Guests0620-06

My husband had invited his cousin to come visit, from 7 hours away, for a week, with his girlfriend.  My understanding was that when you invite people to come stay at your home, you expect to feed them and lodge them.  Had I known what we were in store for.....   We found out upon their arrival, when the menus had been planned, and the meal prepared, that little miss priss was "vegetarian"; is it not proper to inform your hosts that you are so before arriving?  ... and that Miss had quit her job a couple of days before coming, so she had absolutely no money on her.   Not once during their stay did either one of them once help (or even offer) to prepare a meal, clear the table or do the dishes.  

At one point, while at the grocery store, when asked, "What would you like for breakfast tomorrow?", she responded, "Whatever you will make for me will be fine".   The "happy couple" kept suggesting certain activities (watching soccer game on big screen in bar, pool, bowling...) that costs money.  We paid (for the 4some) up until the 4th day, when I told my husband "enough is enough".  We were out for dinner, the bill came, and it was pushed over to our side of the table.  He then said "Well, I guess we can pay for a movie".  WOW!! SURPRISE!!!   

The next afternoon, we go to the cinema, neither my husband or I having brought our wallets, as his cousin was paying (we didn't need them).  When getting to the teller, he buys 3 tickets, as he doesn't have enough money for a 4th.  He grabs his and his girlfriend's tickets, gives my husband his, and looks at me and shrugs his shoulders as if to say "Too bad".  I do not remember ever being so insulted, ever.  My husband wanted to wait with me, but I insisted he go on ahead with the 2 savages.  I found out later that once they were inside the cinema, my husband was ahead of them going up the stairs, and when he stopped and turned to ask them if sitting in that row was okay, he saw that they had already sat 5 or 6 rows lower, without saying anything to him.  He simply sat on his own and watched the film.   

I found out after they had gone, that my "personal" drawer in my bedroom had been rummaged through, and this I know for a fact, and that on her last day here, the girlfriend took liberty of using my washer and dryer to do her load of laundry.   My husband seems to think I am making a big deal out of nothing, and wants me to say nothing, but agrees with me that they will not stay here again while on holidays; he says they simply don't know any better (I say if no one tells them, they will never know).  I am taking it one step further and do not want them in my house, even to visit.    

Guests0716-06

Here is a story of some terrible guests I had to endure. This takes place in Europe, we have our share of etiquette challenged people here too. First a little background: my parents gave me a summer house as a graduation present. It is located at a very attractive spot at the sea (I won't be more specific for obvious reasons...) and it is a really beautiful if simple house. The gift was certainly generous but as you can imagine it takes money to care for the house, pay taxes, have somebody look after it etc. I come from a well-to-do but not a rich family, we all work. (I realize this sounds overly apologetic and quite stupid but it will be important later on.)

Few years ago I invited my boyfriend 'Stan' to a little trip to the coast to stay at the house. He accepted and we made plans. We wanted to sail, dive, water ski so I rented a boat and equipment. Two weeks before the scheduled vacation Stan asks me if it would be o.k. if his brother and sister-in-law ('Chris' and 'Becky') came with us for the vacation. I wasn't enthusiastic as I hardly knew those two and didn't like them particularly. Chris was substantially older than I was and the few times I saw him he was lengthy lecturing me and 'explaining' that all I did was wrong... His wife told me the first time she saw me that I'm a 'spoiled brat' because my parents are well-to-do. But she won't hold this against me, she will try to look at the person behind this 'unhealthy upbringing'. Lovely... I diplomatically told Stan that I prefer to go on vacation with him only. His response: 'Don't worry, I already told them they could come along and they were very generous and agreed to stay only for three days.' (We planed to stay for four days.) I didn't want to be confrontational so I was compelled to extended the invitation. I figured maybe if I get to know them better Chris and Becky will turn out to be nice. 

A day before our departure Stan informs me that Becky invited a friend of hers from medical school. No, she did not call me to ask or even inform me, she had Chris call Stan to tell him there should be one more room made ready for a guest. I was livid but it wasn't Stan's fault this time and since there was enough room I let it go. I thought Becky wanted to take some friend with her because she felt insecure. This was my standard theory for explaining her rudeness...

Well, this story sadly doesn't end here. We arrive at the house, everything is great, weather is fantastic. The lady who looks after the house got the rooms ready, she put flowers everywhere, food in the refrigerator. She also arranged for the equipment to be delivered to the house and the boat to the jetty. Of course I pay her for her help as well as for all the things and food she buys for me but I'm touched how nicely she cares for the house and obviously she goes beyond her 'duties' -- the flowers are from her garden. 'Linda' is more a friend anyway, I know her more than 20 years (the house belonged to my parents before they gave it to me). I had a present for her and wanted to invite her for dinner the next day. So I went over to visit and told Stan I will be back in an hour. He preferred to relax and read which was fine with me. 

I came back to find that the rest of our party arrived 5 minutes before. I greet Chris, Becky and Becky's friend 'Susan' only to be scolded by this woman (whom I never seen before and didn't even invite) that I'm a lousy hostess because I wasn't there when they arrived. I apologize and explain that I was next door with Linda. She looks me up and down and announces that she already suspected I was nouveau riche because old money knows not to associate with hired help. "She is a servant, you silly!' I was stunned and didn't know what to say except to point out that Linda is a friend and certainly not a "servant". She continues to berate me on the subject of "proper manners" which I lack in her opinion. It was bizarre. 

A little later we sat down to dinner and I informed them on the activities I had planed. Ouch! Becky and Susan don't like any of this, I should have called beforehand asking them what they would enjoy and arranged for something more appropriate. It turns out, they don't like anything, they planned to go to beach and sunbathe anyway. O.k. but that needs no preparations, so why harass me verbally ("lousy hostess", "stupid idea", "bratty thing to do") for not arranging anything for them? 

We have a few drinks and savor the warm evening, again Becky takes the opportunity to insult me. They drink Campari soda and find my choice of wine "snooty". I let it slide again. Than they all start playing card games, I read a book. Chris, Becky and Susan repeatedly try to force me to play with them and I decline because I don't enjoy card games. Besides, they are already four players. Stan starts pushing too, so I take his place and try to be a good sport. Surprise, I win all of the next 10 games. Well, I said I don't enjoy card games, I didn't say I can't play them. 

When I give the cards back to Becky who deals them two slip from my hand and land on the floor, I apologize and pick them up. This enrages Susan so much that she shouts at me: "Your state of mind is that of a six-year old!" This was it. I got up told Susan, "Thank you for the diagnosis." I said good night to the others and went to bed. They played a little longer and I heard Becky say: "The taxes are not high enough! There should be a law prohibiting people from living on inherited money!"

Next day I got up early and went sailing by myself. When I came back Susan was gone. Becky berated me for "annoying" Susan and "not making her feel welcome". Fortunately Chris started to suspect that maybe, just maybe I was not the guilty party. They left in the afternoon. And no, my boyfriend didn't even try to defend me against his impolite sister-in-law or her friend. When I tried to talk to him about this he said he didn't hear anybody insulting me, he was in the kitchen. The other times? Oh, Becky was just kidding. This reaction was no surprise as he never stood up for me when his lovely family was mistreating me. After a few more times I decided that I had enough. I'm sometimes slow in catching on. But his family is even slower. To this day Chris and Becky call me to ask if they can vacation in my summer house. "It would be good to utilize it more." Can you imagine?

Guests0803-06

My brother lives with my mom, a recent widow on a fixed income.  My brother, Joe, has a friend, Don, who was living out of state but has sold his house and wants to move back to the area.  Don asks Joe if he can stay with Joe & mom for "a few days" while he looks for a house and job.  Don has always been pleasant and Joe and my mom says, "Fine".  So Don comes. 

Don’s daily habits are a bit out of sync with the rest of the household.  He likes to stay up and be on the computer or watch TV until 2 or 3 in the morning.  Joe has to leave for work by 7am and Mom, although she does not have a job, likes to run her errands in the morning. Not such a big deal except Don, as he always comes in late, parks his Cadillac behind Mom’s car in the driveway.  So she cannot get out until Don gets up, around noon to look for a job or look at houses.  Joe always moved his car so he would not be blocked in. Yes, Mom should have said something, or Joe should have.

Joe and Don go to a club where Joe gets in free because of his job.  Don is told about the $5 cover charge to get in and says he should get in free as he is with Joe.  NO GO.  Instead of paying the $5, Don leaves.

When DH and I visit mom, Don is parked in front of the TV.  He happily tells us all about how he has bought and sold 3 houses and made a huge profit from each and is looking for another house to do the same.  Whatever house he looks at and tries to buy, he severely underbids and, as a consequence, his bid is rejected.  So he stays at Mom’s…..for 5 weeks.

He tells all who will listen about how he was won a few lawsuits and made money from each, how he loves his new Cadillac and would not drive anything else. He pays my mom not one single cent for eating her food, using her utilities.  He does however tell my brother how his ex-girlfriend wanted to stay in a nice $200 a night hotel when they traveled just a few months ago and how happy he was to pay for said hotel and anything else she wanted.

Don gets involved in disagreements between Joe and Mom, telling her she has gotten "mean" in her old age.  When she makes sandwiches for lunch, he asks her if she happened to buy any chips when she went shopping as he likes chips with his sandwich.  Don did one thing around the house in the five weeks he stayed there, he fixed the lawn mower “so you can now go mow the lawn, Joe.”

Yes, Mom should have said something but she is thinking, “Well, Joe was Don’s guest last year for 10 days,….”  Little does she know that Don made Joe pay and so Joe is thinking that Don is paying Mom to stay there. Mom’s brother comes for a visit and she mentions about the situation with the cars, how she cannot run her errands in the morning.  Uncle inquires, “Why not?”  Upon find out the answer, Uncle tells Don that he should be parking in the street if he gets back so late, why is he inconveniencing a widow who is giving him a place to stay? Don gets upset and, without saying much to anyone, moves in with HIS Uncle, right before a trip to Florida Joe was planning has he had some business there and was needing Don’s help. 

Don ends up going on the trip but wants to go to the Florida Keys. Joe doesn’t want to go as he really had only a week to get to Florida (by car) get his business taken care of  and get back to work but he decides that as Don is helping him out, he will go to the Keys.  But Don pays for NOTHING the entire trip, not food, not gas, not hotel.  That is fine for the business portion of the trip but Don should have at least paid half for the Keys portion.  He doesn’t.  And because of that side trip, Joe does not get everything done that he needed to do but needs to get back home to get to work.

Then Joe finds out that Don has been paying Mom nothing for staying there for 5 weeks. Surprise!  Don’s sister and Uncle do not want him staying with them (gee, I wonder why?) and can he stay with Joe & mom again? NO! Joe says.  He has had enough.  So Don is staying in some hotel somewhere.  And remember that "job" Don was looking for?  Well, he is angry and upset that he cannot find one and blames it on working women taking jobs away from men, not on the fact that he doesn’t get up until noon to look, not on the fact that he doesn’t want "just any job" but a job "worthy of his skills", whatever that means. I just wish I had known the whole story while it was going on.  Mom is too nice to say anything although the situation upsets her, but I would have talked to Joe to have him say something to Don or I would have had that conversation myself with Don. Good riddance!

Guests1120-06