Neighbors

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I attend a rather large state university and live in one of the residence halls. My Resident Assistant (let's call her "Sweet Sue") is a jerk. Consider:

1. About half of the residents on our floor are disabled. Sweet Sue continually harps about "ableism," but is apparently guilty of it herself. One of the residents has an unusual disability; she can sometimes, but not always, walk, and she is prone to seizures. Sweet Sue has at least once told her "Get out of the wheelchair, I've *seen* you walking," and claims she is faking her seizures.

2. At floor meetings, Sweet Sue uses profanity constantly. There, and elsewhere, she calls us "bitch" and "slut" -- not as insults, but in a casual tone, as though there were no reason to be offended.

3. She is constantly accusing us of bigotry and "oppression." In her eyes, *every* white resident is racist, *every* non-disabled resident is ableist, and we need to be paranoid around men because they're *all* sexist.

4. And yes, last but not least, she plays favorites. People she likes, and who make the effort to suck up to her, can do no wrong: they're allowed to come in stinking drunk at any hour, miss "mandatory" floor meetings, burn incense in their rooms (which is forbidden throughout the building) -- anything. It's only on the rest of us that she enforces the rules.

Neighbors0130-04

I live in a apartment complex that is populated by a lot of couples living together and an occasional family or two. I live close to downtown, so I expect some noise (sirens, cars, music, etc.) but my next door neighbor took the cake and drove me insane with the noise. There were 3 adults (a woman, her bf, her brother) and 2 children living in a 1 bedroom, 750 sq. ft. apartment. Don't ask me why they didn't get the larger 2- bedroom apartment which is only $50 more a month in my neighborhood. 

Anyhow, the kids were running up and down the hall one day screaming and playing, which I didn't mind, until their playing involved banging on my door and then running into their apartment. I went over and politely asked the mother to tell her children that banging on the neighbor's door was disrespectful. She smiled and said she would, and either she didn't or her kids ignored her because they kept doing it all afternoon until I came outside and told them to knock it off, very seriously, but without yelling or threatening. At which point the girl (10 years old) burst into fake tears and began screaming for her mother, who came outside and began cursing me for "abusing" her children. The 8 year old son stood behind her back and made faces at me while his mother freaked out. I simply went back into my apartment, called the landlord, and filed a noise complaint against them. 

The next week someone in the building began carpooling in the morning. The carpool arrived every day at 6:30am on the dot and would lay on the horn continuously until the person came out. One morning I got up 5 minutes before the very punctual carpool arrived and then stood outside to see which apartment door opened. Naturally, it was my neighbor with the bratty kids. This went on for a few days until I got very tired of being awakened every day, so I wrote a note that was polite but firm saying that the carpool horn was bothering the neighbors and suggesting that since the carpool was very punctual she should either look out her window or be outside waiting instead of letting the carpool toot the horn nonstop. I put the note in her door. The next day carpool honked continuously for 5 minutes. I put another note in her door telling her I would be notifying the landlord and/or the police if this did not stop. I came home to find a note in my door filled with some very colorful language. I took it to the landlord and filed a noise and harassment complaint against my neighbor. The landlord issued a warning to the her and sent out a flyer to the entire complex stating that carpool horn honking that annoyed the residents was the responsibility of the person being picked up, and could result in eviction. 

The next day the carpool horn was honked again, eggs were thrown at my door, and a note was wedged under my car's windshield wiper again calling me a lot of names. It was in the same writing as the first note, so I again sent it to the landlord. At that point, I was very tired of all of this, so I put up a flyer in the lobby of the building stating, "If you are tired of being woken up at 6:30am by honking, please address your concerns to the residents of Apartment X. That is their carpool."

According to my landlord, with 24 hours he had received 11 complaints from other complex residents about the honking. Apparently no one felt they could complain because they didn't know who was making the racket...until I put up the flyer. With that, the landlord pinned an eviction notice up on my annoying neighbors' door and by the end of the week they were gone. Luckily for me, I managed to avoid running into them, as one of my other neighbor's overheard the mother threatening to kick my butt for getting her and her bratty kids evicted. When my lease is up, I'm getting a house so I don't have to deal with this sort of nonsense anymore as you never know who is going to move in next door.

Neighbors0216-04

This is a story about a former co-worker of mine, who I believe must be a horrific neighbor. And this conclusion I have made only through his own neighbor stories and his behavior at work. Let’s call the guy Al.

Al lives far out on the countryside, with only one house neighboring his. He often comments to his workmates about his neighbors doings and faults, and takes pride in being unhelpful to them. For example: they share a 1000 meter driveway from the main road. In the winter snowploughing is a regular issue. Al has great equipment and does the ploughing in a jiffy, but doesn’t make the last few meters up to his neighbor's driveway. Instead he puts up the biggest possible pile of snow. Most of his aggravation seems to deal with really bullcrap issues grown from his narrow mind and paranoid imagination, but one day Al informed us about developments that eventually set off a diabolic plan of his. And he proudly kept us informed day by day about it.

The neighbor had started building a small complementary house near the border between the two properties. Al quickly informed himself about the local building-regulations and concluded that the neighbors little house was being put up too close to Al’s property. That meant the neighbor should have asked Al in advance, and then made an application to the authorities including Al’s answer, be it yes or no. All of that just because of the too short distance from the property border. Otherwise an application for a building of that size and form was not at all necessary.

Well, you might think that Al could have confronted his neighbor at this early stage, if he really objected the new building. But he didn’t, and that was part of his diabolic plan. Instead he waited until the house was all completed, with concrete foundation, decorative carpentry, painting, electricity, windows and all. It finally turned out to be a pretty little combined storage and guesthouse.

Now Al’s great moment arrived. It was time to blow the whistle. A phone call to the building regulation authorities was all it took. A bureaucrat from the community council emerged and gave the surprised neighbor only one choice: take the building down. And that’s what happened.

Al was really happy and proud when he told us about his triumph. Finally society –that he otherwise had nothing good to say about- had done something for him. Well Al, if all of us where of your sort, I think society would crumble and collapse in a few days.

Neighbors0224-04

It's not the neighbors so much, we thought at first, it's the dogs.  They own four small lapdogs which they turn out into the yard for most of the day.  Small dogs yap.  These ones yap endlessly.  High-pitched, enthusiastic, frantic yapping rings throughout the neighborhood for about 23 hours every day.   We hate it, but we have learned to live with it.  Approaching the neighbors is not an option, as we learned one day last month when, during a rare break in the yapping, the man of the house walked out onto his porch and emitted two loud yaps of his own.     We can only assume he thought his dogs had died (hence the silence) and wanted to be assured otherwise.  He got his wish in spades, and they haven't shut up since.

Neighbors0303-04

I'm a first year freshman in California, and because I decided to go to a four hour drive away from home I didn't have any choice other than to live in the dorms. I moved into the suites with five other girls that I had never met before. This meant three bedrooms, a common room and one bathroom for the six of us. Three of the girls I had no problem with, from the start we had sort of an "I'll let you do your thing if you let me do mine" understanding. The other two however, that's a different story.        

One of those two girls lived in another room, lets call her Maria, so I didn't have to interact with her too much. The other one, call her Jess, was my actual roommate. Not the best thing in the world for me. We seemed to get along great at first. I was more into studying and hanging out with my friends since I'd only be at this particular school for a year. She was in band and joined a sorority, so I didn't see her all too much in the evenings.     

I truthfully had no idea that they had a problem with my "boyfriends" (most of my friends are guys) coming over, or that my lack of sociability was a problem. All of a sudden, about two weeks before thanksgiving break I get called into a mediation where they make tons of complaints about me. 

1) my boyfriends shouldn't be around so much (once a week for a couple hours at most) 

2) the common room isn't the place for PDA. (okay...we were sitting on the couch and I was crying....that's PDA??)

3) Everyone should help to keep the common room clean (this confused me, I'm the one that took out the garbage, I'm the one who put stuff away.....I'm the one who fixed the couch cover) 

4) you need to talk quieter and keep the TV down...(okay, I'll give them this one, and the last one) 

5) stop slamming doors,   After thanksgiving recess I stopped having the guys come over unless they were helping me study. I made sure not to slam doors or to even talk if girls were even in the apartment. On top of this I doubled my efforts to keep the common room clean and stay out if I was awake at an awkward hour. The complaints stopped, but I noticed that Mary and Jess were doing the exact things that I had been accused of. Alright, fine. I let it slide. Winter break was only a few weeks away and I figured they'd calm down while we were gone. BIG mistake.     

The day I got back from break I was sitting at my computer and stood up for a second to stretch, Jess made this big show of hiding something she was typing so I couldn't see it. Of course I was curious, so while she was out of the room I glanced at the notebook she had left on her desk (okay, not so polite of me, but I'm glad I did it). All it took was the first line, "Abby (yes, changed) is making me uncomfortable and I don't think I can live with her." and I was across the hall at the RA's asking for a room change, pronto.     Till the room change I got about three hours of sleep a night and was only in the room when she wasn't. Mary, every time she would see me would turn her nose up and me and herself went to the RA complaining about things I did IN MY ROOM.     

I had thought we had at least come to terms when I moved rooms, but apparently not. The girl I switched with is a mutual friend of all of ours, so there was no problem with that. They were kind enough to help me move my stuff, from a first floor suite to a third room traditional. I wouldn't have minded too much except that I hadn't know they would attempt to move my computer also. My printer got dropped by someone and two months later I'm still trying to come up with the funds to replace something I have found to be invaluable to school. I know they have heard me speak about it to others, I have class with Jess and often eat lunch with the girl I switched with, but no one has offered to help me pay for it, or even so much as an apology for breaking my printer.     

As it is I now live with a very sweet girl and avoid the other two like the plague. Lesson: if you're moving into the dorms and the school gives you the persons information you will be rooming with, meet them first, get to know them, and draw up a contract so you won't have so many problems. You never know what a person is like until you've lived with them for a few months.

Neighbors0306-04

My parents moved into a neighborhood in a popular school district, so it's full of families with children. Their neighbors have three boys, the oldest probably 11 or 12, who have been holy terrors since my parents moved in.

Once, my dad caught one of the boys up in a treehouse trying to shoot our dogs with a bb gun over the fence. He has also caught them ringing the doorbell and running away and trying to climb over the fence to retrieve the balls they knock over. That family also has a huge dog that they let wander freely in the neighborhood.

But one evening, my sister's little dog was barking for a while in the backyard, and the mother of the family next door came over and yelled at her for disturbing her boys' homework time. She also claimed the dog's barking had been keeping her awake at night (funny -- the dog doesn't even LIVE there). Anyway, puh-lease ... like that's worse than your boys trying to SHOOT our dogs!

Needless to say, Mom and Dad have their house up for sale.

Neighbors0401-04

I have been living in the Milwaukee area for many years now and have had my share of "interesting" neighbors, but the newest one I have living upstairs takes the cake. I would like to point out that I am a little economically biased, which is odd considering that I have spent most of my life growing up in poverty. What I have learned personally, is that if you can't afford nicer things, you really want to take care of what little you have. This is apparently not the case for most people.

My wife and I had moved into a very nice apartment complex that offered many luxuries not available in most places (including over 1,200 square feet). This was easily the nicest place I have lived in my entire life. Things were great for about 6 months until they started allowing renting assistance. The day that this happened, everything went downhill. A majority of the new tenants were throwing their trash close to the dumpsters and not actually in them. This caused for bags/trash to get blown around constantly. The entrance to my apartment was at the top of a hill where the nearest dumpster was at the bottom. The way things were set up, my entrance was the end of a little wind tunnel that seemed to collect all the trash that got caught in the wind. A neighbor that worked third shift used to keep their dog on their balcony while they were at work, which of course barked nonstop through the night (about 11:00pm through 6:00am). Another neighbor across the courtyard from us let her vicious dog off the leash every time it went out. In fact, she would just open the door to let it out while she went back inside. This dog for some reason always comes over and leaves a little "package" right in front of my door which the neighbor lady never picks up. I end up picking it up with the bottom of my shoe most of the time. It is always nice to have my co-workers walk into my office while I was busy scraping my shoe and cursing my neighbor.

These were just standard complaints, but the neighbor that moved in directly above us is what forced me to buy a house about a year earlier than I planned on. Every night from about 9:30pm until roughly 1:30am, he has his stereo pounding, and I mean POUNDING. This I was able to deal with and never complained to him about it since my wife & I are such heavy sleepers and is much quieter than the train tracks I grew up across the street from, but annoying none the less. One time I was out on the balcony off of our bedroom when we noticed that some liquid had spilled from the upstairs balcony ... or so we thought. It turns out that the neighbor lets his dog out on the balcony to take care of its business rather than let it outside. From the same balcony, which is three stories off the ground, is where he brings his trash out. I don't mean he leaves it out there, he throws his bag in the general direction of the dumpster located below. At least he makes it in the dumpster about 65% of the time.

On the opposite side of the apartment, there is one more balcony that is directly above the main window in our living room. While we were watching TV one day, we noticed that something was getting shaken loose from the balcony upstairs, or so we thought. Turns out our neighbor empties his kitty litter much the same way he takes out the trash. The only difference is it's not in a bag and there's no dumpster over there. He just dumps the box over the side. There are some bushes right below him, so now because of the accumulation & the rain, there is a creative clay sculpture melded into the bush that I would like to call "Ode De Cat."

All I can say is that I am more than excited to move into my new house in a few weeks. I just hope that my new neighbors are a little less trash since I can't simply wait out a lease there. Thanks fore letting me vent.

Neighbors0422-04

Miss Jeanne, I absolutely love your site!!!  We just moved last week, and I am so thankful. In our previous apartment complex, we had the worst neighbors I have ever had.   The apartments were 3 floors with stairs, and of the kind where every door opens up to a breezeway that is open on both ends.  When we first moved in, it was very quiet, and our neighbors, while not overly friendly, were at least not offensive.  Then the girls across the hall got evicted for having a cat (our complex had a very strict no pets policy) and a bunch of frat boys moved in when we had been there about 6 months.  They barbecued in the breezeway almost every day and smoke would billow in our door when we opened it.  I left a trashcan outside my apartment door to air out overnight (from about 11 pm to 7 am), and the next morning it was full of vomit and empty beer cans and cigarette butts.  I wasn't about to clean it out, so that went into the dumpster.  We were having a small dinner party one night about a month later, when we heard screaming right outside our door and something heavy struck our wall...my very large male roommate went outside and there was a fist fight going on right outside our apartment!  He broke it up, but not before they got blood all over the walls and the concrete floor of the hall.  The apartment complex couldn't get the stains out...they are there still.  

On top of this, about a month after the fist fight we got a new neighbor in the apartment above us.  I don't know if this guy was having some kind of dance club in his apartment to make rent or what, but the bass was so loud it was shaking things in my cabinets. He had neon lights in the windows and you could see the strobes going off at night.  All the parking in the lot was taken up after about 9 pm so we would have to park in the street a couple blocks up...parking had never been a problem before this.  We complained in person, with no result, so contacted the police several times and the complex management.  The guy was threatened with eviction if there was another noise complaint, so he changed tactics and started throwing keggers instead.  Then we would have to dodge projectiles being hurled from the third floor, including beer cans, vomit, and water from coolers.  Apparently he couldn't be bothered to come down the stairs or empty his coolers in the bathtub.  People from these parties emptied cans of beer in the breezeways on all three floors so they stank for days.  My welcome mat was stolen and hidden in the bushes surrounding the complex, as well as the welcome mats of everyone on the first and second floor.  This is only a small taste of what it was like.  I won't even get into the damage to vehicles and the peeping Toms...

Neighbors0513-04

My boyfriend recently moved into an apartment with his good friend "D".  It was D's first apartment, and he didn't have much in terms of household items.  D's mother "M" announced that she was taking them both to one of those housewares superstores and buying them some things.  

At the store, M threw all sorts of stuff she declared they "needed" into the cart.  Most of the items weren't necessities, but she was insistent that she wanted to buy them for her son.   So M pays for the items, they get into the car ... and she turns to my boyfriend and says, "You're paying for half of this, right?"  He and D were both dumbfounded!  My boyfriend just got a job after a year of unemployment.  He has a lot of debt and VERY little spending money, and M knows it.  There's no way he'd have bought most of these items if he'd had any inkling she'd demand payment for them!  If she'd pulled the stunt at the cash register, he could have at least had the option to put some things back, but she waited until they were driving away from the store.  She backed off on her request when they both expressed how upset they were, but then came back to my boyfriend later to ask for the money again.  He paid only because he didn't want to make trouble for D.   

I also had an unpleasant run-in with M.  I have a coat with an extremely soft faux fur lining.  I was over at D's one cold evening, and had taken off my coat.  M picked it up and ran her hands over the lining, exclaiming over how soft it was.  She's not the first to do that, so I let it go.  Then, however, she asked me, "Can I take this coat into my room and [do something sexual] on it?"  And she was quite explicit!  I can't remember what my stunned response was, but I made sure to keep the coat away from her after that.  This was only the second time I'd met her!

Neighbors0519-04

When I was a young 23. I agreed to share an 2 bedroom apartment with another couple  The male was  my age. His girlfriend was 17 and just kicked out of her parents house. One evening I arrived home from work tired from working a double shift to find a little get together going on. So I decided to just go to my room and try to get some rest, since I was in no mood to party. But was convinced to at least come out and meet their friends.

I was actually having a great time and was hitting it off with one hunk that was there. So when he asked me if I would like to walk down to the coffee shop so we could talk in a more intimate place I readily agreed. Excusing myself to change and get my purse I went down the hall and ran into another guest coming out of my room. Asking him exactly what he thought he was doing in my room he replied I was looking for the bathroom. But when I pointed it out to him he just kept on walking toward the front door.

Now for the roommate from hell part..    After entering my room the first thing I noticed was my  purse missing from my dresser. After yelling for someone to call police I quickly ran out to give chase but he was nowhere.

After giving a report and listing the contents which included a recently cashed paycheck,  I was informed that my odds in getting it back was nil..   The Male Roommate Quickly reassured me that he would cover my rent and utilities and I could pay them back a little each payday. Two days later his girlfriend went to the landlord and told him I refused to pay my share of the rent, and said she wanted my name off the rental agreement. Needless to say I moved the next day and she actually had the nerve to say I was bailing out on them and that they couldn't afford it by themselves.

  Karma is a good thing!   Her boyfriend (the nice guy) left her for her worst enemy and her parents having had enough of her b.s. refused to let her move back in she ended up living on the streets...

Neighbors0519-04

This morning I went outside to get my newspaper only to see that my and every house on the block had a sign staked into the front yards for a certain political cause.

My neighbor - who always has this sentiment on a bumper sticker on his car - had presumed that everyone on the block not only thought like him but wanted to make a public expression of that thought. I pulled the sign out of my lawn as I do not agree with the sentiment expressed on the sign AND do not wish to have my yard become a place for my political stances to be shown.

Just before I was going to work, this guy had the nerve to call me and ask if there was something wrong with me in that I did not support his cause. I told him that whether of not I supported him was irrelevant, I just did not want to voice any opinion regarding that topic on a sign in my yard. I then offered to return the sign which was in my garage. I never told him how presumptuous I thought he was. He again made some comments on my character and hung up. I noted that several of the signs were missing from other yards as I drove to work.

This guy is one of the staunchest and most tenacious supporters of this position I have ever encountered. Up until now, I never have said anything one way or another when he has made his views known. Now that he thinks I am not on his side, however, I think he will see me as an enemy. What a great way to start the weekend!

Neighbors0528-04