Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go

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This incident happened a couple of years ago, but it has to be the most horrendous example of rudeness (and downright cruelty) that I have ever encountered!

My best friend Becky and I are both overweight, and we have both struggled with this issue since elementary school. We are now in our early 20's.  One day we went to see a movie at a local movie theater and Becky went to the bathroom while I went to find us a place to sit in the theater.  When Becky returned from the bathroom, her face was all red and blotchy and it was obvious that she had been crying.  When I asked her what was wrong, she said that a little girl in the bathroom had looked at her and said to her mother (this all directly in front of Becky), "Look, mommy, that woman is really fat!"  And her mother looked Becky up and down and said, "Yeah, you're right honey, that woman IS really fat!"

Can you believe that??  What disgusting behavior from a parent, and what a disservice that woman has done for her daughter who, I'm sure, will grow up to be just as lovely a person as her ruder-than-rude mother!

EDRugrats0703-05


 

One previous poster stated that behind every bad kid is an idiot parent. Well, even good kids can have idiot parents. I am a police officer in Texas. One Saturday afternoon about a year ago, a call goes out over the radio for a lost child at a local grocery store. As I was only half a block away, I was the first one at the store. When I entered the store, a clerk directed me to the deli area, where I found a store employee trying to comfort a frightened 4 year-old boy, while another employee was trying to page the parents. The employees told me that they had been trying to locate the parents for almost thirty minutes with pages every minute. 

After about another five minutes, the boy's older brother, was about eight or nine, showed up to claim him. I thought this kind of odd, so I told the brother that I would only release his brother to his parents. Well, the older brother goes to get his parents and, when they arrive, we (two other officers had arrived) know that there is something very wrong; the parents are very unsure on their feet and when they get close enough, the smell of marijuana was almost overpowering. Right there and then, we knew that we could not let the two boys go home with their parents. 

One of the officers goes to another aisle so that the parents can't hear him calling the dispatcher to call Child Protective Services. The remaining officer and I take the parents to the back room and arrest them for public intoxication. When we frisked them, we found more marijuana and some methamphetamine, another charge. There were more drugs in their car. 

At the station, we ran their records and found out that officers and CPS caseworkers had been called to their home numerous times for domestic disturbances and child abandonment. To cut to the chase, the parents pled out to the charges, leaving the boys in the custody of their grandparents, a much better situation for them. The grandparents are trying to terminate the parents' rights to the boys. A lot of cops, myself included, and CPS workers have been subpoenaed to a hearing. We all can't wait to testify.

EDRugrats1020-05


 

My sister-in-law recently received an invitation to a Christmas party to be held on Christmas day from her "friend" Laura.  The invitation said "no children please". 

Now, I don't have children and am very sympathetic to those who would rather not have kids at their parties. My SIL does have 2 children, but has always been very respectful of the adults vs. family events issue. She has happily attended many weddings, birthday parties, showers etc... without her kids when they were not invited, so I know she had no problem with the party itself.  However, because the party was on Xmas day, she felt that she should be with her family on that day, and so politely declined the invitation.   

Laura then calls her and starts screaming at her, saying she is "obsessed" with her kids, that she "hates" people who don't have kids, and that she is ruining Laura's Christmas by not attending the party.  My SIL, who is the sweetest person ever, called me crying and convinced that she was acting horribly.  I pointed out to her that 1) Wanting to be with family on Xmas does not count as obsession!  2) I don't have kids and she has never acted as though she hates me, and 3) Regardless of whether or not the invitees had children, Laura should have expected a high number of declines from people when she chose to have her party on Xmas Day!    I sure hope SIL crosses Laura off her "friends" list.    

EDRugrats1202-05


 

I have two stories involving historic homes that I have toured:

I have been a huge fan of the author Laura Ingalls Wilder since I was a young child, and have always wanted to visit her various former homes. Finally, after 20 years of treasuring her books, I was able to visit her final home in Mansfield, Missouri. It was a very big event for me, and I actually cried tears of joy when I stepped into her home. Laura died in 1957, and her home has been preserved almost exactly as she left it, including calendars, etc. Everything in the home is antique and treasured, many things are fragile, and a lot of the items have significance within Laura's writings. 

In our tour group was a woman with two young daughters, under 10 I would guess. These kids were clearly uninterested in Laura Ingalls Wilder, and spent the whole tour physically fighting and playing, pushing each other, rolling around on the floor, grabbing things, yelling, crying, screaming, hitting other people, running into things. Some of the spaces were a little cramped and it is a miracle that nothing was broken. These children were horrifying. Their mother did absolutely nothing and even smiled at them as the other guests and guide stared in horror. I was completely flabbergasted at the lack of respect for a beloved author and history, as well as other people. When the tour was over, my fiancé talked to the tour guide and explained how important it was to me to finally be there. Fortunately, she let us go through again and we actually got to hear the narration!

I had a similar experience at a famous home designed by the architect Frank Lloyd Wright. The tour started in front of the house, and the guide made it quite clear that the house was filled with valuable, one-of-a-kind furnishings. As two young boys wrestled and screamed over the tour guide's voice, I knew that things could get ugly. The guide again emphasized the importance of not touching anything with significant glances at the boys, but their parents seemed not to get the hint. Fortunately, the instant one of the boys picked up an item in the first room we entered, the guide asked the family to leave. The parents actually had the nerve to get angry and start an argument! I guess they felt like their kids were entitled to destroy a historic home that people travel from all over the United States and world to visit...

EDRugrats1219-05


 

Back when I was in high school, I had a sinus infection, so my mom and I headed to the doctor's office.  We were sitting in the waiting room, and because I love kids (I'm now a children's minister), I immediately noticed a cute little blond girl who looked like she was about 4 or 5 years old.  Mom and I smiled at each other, and started watching this little girl play with her mom.  "What a cutie!"  We thought.  Boy were we wrong!!!   

A little bit later, the little girl starting whining to her mom for some gum (literally whining...I have a lot of patience with children, but this was whining).  Her mom explained in a very sugary sweet voice that she didn't have any gum.  "Addie, Mommy doesn't have any gum right now."  Well "Addie" decided that this wasn't good enough, so she continued to ask her mom for gum.  Her mom even helped Addie empty out her purse to show her that she didn't have any gum.  A

t this point, Addie fell to the floor, kicking and crying and fussing, "BUT I WANT GUM!"  At this point, my mom leaned over and said, "That girl needs a spanking."   Instead of taking her girl to the restroom or outside to talk to her, her mom attempted to reason with her.  Another lady took pity on the situation, and walked over with a lollipop in her hand.  (My mom leaned over to me and said, "You would NOT have gotten that lollipop if you pulled a stunt like that!)  Addie's mom sees the lady and smiles and says, "Addie, look what this nice lady brought you."  Addie looks up and snatches the lollipop out of the lady's hand.  When her mom said, "What do you say Addie?" (Apparently she expected the manners fairy to miraculously strike her child at that moment).  Addie looked that nice lady right in the eye and said, "I wanted gum!"    I thought I was going to have to sit on my mom to keep her from getting up and taking care of that little brat!!         

EDRugrats1109-05

It's so obvious to the rest of us what that mother was teaching her daughter.  Why couldn't she "get it"?  


 

My friend, *Kate*, has a 4 year old son, *Ben*, and is marrying a man this year who also has a 4 year old son, *Aaron*. She often takes the boys to the matinee movies on weekends, or days she has off of work. I can't tell you how many times I've asked her how a certain movie was, and she has responded, "I don't know. We only saw half of it, *Ben/Aaron* started talking and horsing around so we left." This is called responsible parenting. It is also called being responsible and considerate to people around you. 

Unfortunately, there is a shortage of people like *Kate* in this world, and instead there is a proliferation of people with some grand sense of [misplaced] entitlement. Here is a prime example. My fiancé and I went to see Batman Begins one Saturday night. We went to a late show at 11:15 pm. We took our seats in the fourth row where we always like to sit, and in the row behind us and to our left, was a group of people...people who had with them a 3 YEAR OLD BOY!!!

The kid bounced around, talked, and squealed throughout the movie with nary a word from either parent, or their friend. The three adults stared at the screen, blank looks on their faces and mouths agape. Several times during the movie, both Morgan and I considered getting up and fetching an usher or manager to come and talk to them, and with any luck remove the kid from the theater...but neither of us wanted to miss anything on the screen, and I thought, wrongly it turns out, that I would rather say something to them myself after the movie than be a "tattler." 

So after the movie (it is now 2 am!), out in the lobby, I approached the woman holding the child who was now asleep. Putting aside my predisposition to spout vitriol at this woman, I gently tapped her arm and said, in my most respectful tone; "I'm really sorry to bother you, but the reason we come to movies at night is so that we don't have to hear kids during the movie, and, well, we could hear this one throughout the whole movie, up until he fell asleep at the end." I thought this was a very polite and considerate approach. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect her response. Her face twisted into a hateful look and she said, "I don't really care WHAT you think..." I believe she was about to say more, but I was so surprised I just said, "Well then, thanks for ruining the movie!" and walked away. 

I am now KICKING myself for not staying and saying more. What I would have liked to have said to that horrible woman is this: "I wasn't telling you what I think, but I certainly will now! I think you are an irresponsible parent for bringing a 3 year old child to a PG-13 movie at 11 at night! By the SAME token, I think you are a selfish and inconsiderate bitch for making the rest of the audience at a late show put up with your little genetic responsibility. NEXT time, wait until the DVD release, or hire a baby sitter and leave your kid at home!"

Your first reaction was better.

I related the story to M's sister, *Helen*, the next night. *Helen* is a social worker, and a very outspoken woman. Anyway, one of the many things she said in response to the story was this. "I would have gone up to the woman during the movie and asked what the hell she was doing there at 11 at night with a 3 year old, asked for her name and number, and told her that I have Child Protective Services on my speed dial, and I'm sure they'd be very interested in having a chat with her. A child that age should not be out that late at night, and especially not at a movie like that." Batman Begins is a fairly dark movie with some pretty disturbing imagery at times. I can only hope now, that the kid had nightmares and kept his parents up all night.

EDRugrats0715-05


In mid-October here in Houston, the weather is typically none too kind. This year however, we have been blessed with an unseasonably temperate fall. One particular weekend, following a long day working at an art fair, my parents and I decided to go to a local restaurant for dinner. Because of the nice weather and the relative quietness, we opted to sit out on the small patio. This patio only had room for about five tables, and for our tastes, was preferable to the rather noisy atmosphere inside.

Sure enough, it was quiet for the first 10 minutes of our meal. Shortly after that, I noticed four children attempting to climb over a 4' wood fence that was separating the patio from the grass and woods next to the restaurant. This went on for several minutes until the mother (or whatever the relation this woman was) decided that it was not ok to actually climb "over" and told them to stop. The behavior ceased as the children then ran inside to the self-serve ice cream machine.

I could see them through the glass windows, pulling the cone dispenser down while attempting to put their hands into the wrong end. The mother was still sitting at the table, completely unaware that this was happening. Following this rather chaotic display, I suddenly noticed an ice cream cone being "launched" over the previously mentioned fence, into the grass. After walking all over the patio, not even attempting to sit at their own table while eating the ice cream, the children again began hanging onto the fence, shaking it like monkeys.

At one point, a young boy began to play with the tray stand (you know the foldable ones). I think he was trying to climb onto that as well. During all this, the mother was chatting away on her cell phone, completely oblivious to the ruckus these children were causing. Much to my surprise, the woman didn't stay on the phone very long.

However, she did proceed to sit at her table and simply watch these children run back through the restaurant, through the handicapped parking lot spaces that were next to the patio and around to the grassy are to which they had thrown the ice cream cone. The young boy went to pick up the cone, but the three girls found something much more interesting. A bottle of OFF insect repellant which had been left in the ground. This grassy area, as already mentioned, is right next to the woods AND directly under powerlines. While the children played with this bottle of insect poison, referring to it as "treasure", the woman continued to say nothing.

Oh how I wish it had ended there. Sadly, my family and I were still eating our meal, although I was quickly losing my appetite having been reduced to watching playground dinner theater. I should mention that this was a sit-down restaurant, not a fast food joint with a play center.

Once bored with the poisonous treasure, the children returned to the parking lot and proceeded to run around like maniacs, doing cartwheels and jutting out into the actual driveways. One girl even managed to climb onto a handicapped sign pole, with her feet up on the separating fence (not the wooden one) to the patio and hung upside-down while loudly saying, "look mommy! look mommy!" Oh the sheer irony if she had fallen onto the concrete parking lot and received a busted head after hanging onto a handicapped sign.

The sheer danger of these four children running recklessly around the parking lot, and just waiting for a car to scream around the corner and unknowingly run into a child was almost too much for me. This scene literally went on for minutes while my mother and I couldn't help but speculate about the dangers of this situation.

About five minutes after all this, we were just about to leave and only one other table was left on the patio. It wasn't until this moment that the mother, who had been watching all this with the same interest as one might give to some rerun on TV, finally said to one of the children, "You need to be more quiet. These people are trying to eat."

Oh! Why thank you madam! The children continued to play in the parking lot as we left. Apparently, this woman really doesn't recognize the fact that sit-down restaurants are not playgrounds. Perhaps the deeper problem is that she does not know what a "sit-down" restaurant actually is.

EDRugrats1017-05


 

 Last year, I was a senior in high school, and was in a choir class. Since it was an audition choir, we were quite skilled (if a bit rowdy...but that's another story for another time). One of the songs we were singing was a hymn that was very difficult but breathtakingly beautiful, and I was looking forward to my parents getting to hear it performed. At the concert, several other groups performed besides us, and everything went off without a hitch. Until, naturally, we got on stage. As we were singing, a baby started crying, which was all right at first because the other songs we were singing were sufficiently loud enough to drown it out. However, at the final song (the hymn I mentioned before), the baby was STILL crying, and was the only thing that could clearly be heard. Its wailing lasted through the entire song, and the mother just sat there and let it happen.   

Needless to say, my parents were pretty disappointed that they couldn't hear what we were singing. My mother suggested that my teacher should have waited until the child stopped crying before starting to conduct, and I think I agree with her.   This story might not have been as bad as some of these other stories I've been reading. But it really irritated me when all you could hear of our performance was that baby (it featured prominently on the videotape), and the mother of the child was extremely rude for not doing anything about it. When your kid starts crying during a concert, PLEASE TAKE HIM/HER OUT OF THE ROOM!! 

EDRugrats1228-05


 

I was visiting my family's lake cottage in a small town with my best friend.  We decided to go to Big Boy for lunch one day and were absolutely starving.  No more than 2 minutes after we got our meals, the little boy in the booth next to us vomited all over his table.  The kicker?  His mom and dad just sat there!  They didn't take him to the bathroom to clean him up, as I assume most people would do.  Mom just asked for some napkins and made the waitress clean up the mess.  But the little boy wasn't done yet - he threw up AGAIN.  Dad kept on eating, Mom flagged the waitress down.  My friend and I promptly got up, paid and left.  We didn't eat out meals, but we weren't hungry anymore at that point.  As we were walking out the door, I saw the lovely family still eating their food on the vomit covered table as the little boy cried.   

EDRugrats1022-05


Page Last Updated May 15, 2007