|
Faux Pas
of the Year
Jeanne's Favorite Picks
This is almost too hidious to submit. My cousin's ex-wife whom I had met just a few
times, had a child by a man with whom she was living with. The woman, I will call her
Patti, seemed kind of stupid but not to the degree in which I am about to relate. The baby
died when he was just two months old of meningitis. A sad story because I think basically
she was a good mother.
Patti and her boyfriend decided to marry in a formal church wedding about six months
later. Of course no one in the family knew of the particulars of the wedding, as there
would be no reason for any of us to be invited. However, one day my uncle, Patti's
ex-father-in-law opened his weekly small-town newspaper to the "trends and
weddings" section when he saw the reception announcement: "The late Baby X
wishes to announce the marriage of his parents Patti Z and Box R. Please join in the
festivities at (name of reception hall) on (particular date and time). "
This is just plain creepy. einvite0222-00
I've enjoyed your site tremendously ~ thank you for giving us a place to vent!
A contender for the title of "World's Tackiest Wedding" is one my husband and
I attended about five years ago. The groom worked for my husband. We didn't
know much about the intended bride, but my husband had heard she was a dancer. Both
the wedding and the reception were to be held in a nice medium-sized community
hall.
We got our first clue about what kind of dancer she might be when the first
attendant walked up the aisle. She was wearing a fire-engine red, skin-tight
off-the-shoulder (and I mean way off-the-shoulder) low-cut mini-dress with long
sleeves, three-inch spiked heels to match, and she was carrying black roses. The
second attendant followed close behind, dressed the same but in black with red roses.
Then here came the bride.....in white for sure, but....skin-tight, and cut so low
we were amazed she didn't pop out of it right there and then. The skirt was as short as
her attendants' skirts, but she had a long satin train in tow, and she was wearing long
white gloves, and she carried white, red, and black roses.
The ceremony itself went off very quickly and smoothly, we congratulated the couple,
then we were invited to partake of the food laid out attractively at a table on the other
end of the hall. We decided we would only stay to toast the couple and had only been
seated for three or four minutes (plotting our earliest possible escape) when we heard the
DJ announce the newly-weds. They headed for their table set slightly aside....but only the
groom sat down. The DJ then launched into a rendition of "The Stripper". I'll
leave much of the rest to your imagination. Suffice it to say that gloves, long train, and
short skirt disappeared, but at least she kept her garter on. This was employed as she
went from table to table, dancing for the male members of the audience. I had heard
of money dances before, but I must admit that this took the cake.
We gathered our belongings and our wits, and headed out of there fast. On the way out,
one of the men called out to my husband something to the effect of, "What? Leaving so
soon?" Another man answered him: "Oh don't worry - he already gave at the
office."
That was the last employee's wedding we ever attended. Now we just send a nice gift
along with our best wishes, and leave well enough alone.
This was a very small wedding and reception held at a well known Toronto Greek
restaurant. The meal was underway when the matron of honor excused herself to go to the
ladies room. A few minutes later she came prancing out in her lovely gown but lo and
behold she was trailing behind her the end of a toilet paper roll. On and on it went,
right to our table. Everyone in the restaurant was roaring and poor gal had no idea
why.
Embarrassing moments? I died seven deaths. Strange after a few years it is nothing more
than a memory and a good laugh.
My best friend was invited to be in the wedding of one of her cousins. Everyone knew
that the bride was dating a married man and that he was waiting for his divorce to come
through before they could marry. Well, in April, all of the family members and friends
received invitations to a formal wedding across the country where the bride and groom were
now living.
The couple was not crass enough to list were they were registered and what they wanted
in their invitation. That information was sent separately several days later. Everyone
bought gifts, packed bags, bought plane tickets, and, if they were in the wedding, rented
tuxes and bought bridesmaid outfits . Vacation days from work were used to make the trip
and everyone paid for their own hotel rooms and meals when they were in town for the
event. There was a co-ed bridal shower the day before the wedding so everyone could come
and bring additional gifts, even the single men, before attending the rehearsal and dinner
afterward.
The next day everyone arrived at the old house where the wedding was to take place and
walked down the aisle. When everyone was in place, and the father had given the bride
away, but before they said their vows, the groom said that he wanted to talk to all of the
guests. No one knew what in the world was coming. He then said that he didn't want anyone
to feel like they had been deceived or taken advantage of, but his divorce was not yet
final, so the minister was really a friend of his and, instead of a wedding, the guests
would be participating in a "commitment ceremony." At that point, the service
resumed and the bride and groom recited some stuff they had made up about how much they
loved each other, how committed they were to one another, and how much it meant to them to
have everyone there with them at this wonderful time. They kissed, had pictures taken,
went to the reception, and danced late into the night.
It is now February and the groom's divorce is still not final. He does have a firm
court date though.
Page Last Updated May 18, 2007
| 
