What a great site! Sure brings back memories.Memories such as my own wedding. That was 14 years ago but it feels like yesterday. When we were deciding who to ask to be in our wedding party, I decided I wanted my best friend, let's call him Bob, to be my best man. I asked Bob and he accepted, but a few days later he called me to say that he had to decline. His wife was upset that SHE was not asked to be in the group, even though she was invited to the wedding and reception.
Now, the man was my best friend. I grew up with him and could not think of anyone better for the job of best man. So, after discussing the problem with my bride -to-be, we decided to include her in the wedding party. Bad move on our part. From that point on, this woman acted as if it were HER wedding being planned.
The church rehearsal had to be postponed to a day that HER and her hubby could attend. The morning of the wedding, I had to drive to their house because she did not want him to drive into the city where I lived. At the reception she insisted that she be allowed to sit next to Bob at our table, even though Bob was standing up with another woman. The final insult was that immediately after dinner, I was talking to Bob and she walked up to us and told Bob that they had to leave because she had a "splitting headache". Poor Bob, he didn't know how to react. But his wife gave him no chance to answer because she walked out in a snit. Bob apologized and ran out after her and they never returned. Needless to say, my wife was upset but the reception went on. That was 14 years ago and we have never heard from those two since, not that I'm complaining.
Hi Jean,
I love the Etiquette Hell page! It is one of the more amusing things I have found in Cyberspace. It occurs to me that you might consider adding this little tale of the bridesmaid from Hades.
When my friend (who I'll call Trish) got married, she asked me to be her MOH, and another friend(I'll call her Cathy) to be her bridesmaid.
So far so good. The problems started with wardrobe. Cathy insisted that the bridesmaids dresses had to be teal in color - no matter what Trish wanted. Since Trish liked teal well enough, and wanted Cathy to like her dress, she agreed.
Then came hunting for the pattern. Cathy had a very limited range of stylistic preferences, so Trish and I decided to go to the fabric store and pick out three different patterns in styles we knew Cathy would like and let her have the final say which she wanted to wear. Trish and I both fell madly in love with one particular dress. We picked out two others, but considered that merely a formality because we were certain that Cathy would love it just as much as we did. When Cathy saw the patterns we had chosen, she announced she wouldn't wear any of them. In particular, she didn't like the one Trish and I liked best because it had a jewel neckline which she hated. She announced that she was going to wear the bridesmaid version of the wedding gown Trish had picked to sew "with a few minor adjustments" that ended up making it virtually the same as the dress Trish and I liked, but with a bateau neckline. Oh, yes, and since Cathy wasn't an accomplished seamstress, Trish would have to work out the alterations for her! It was eventually agreed that I would wear the dress I liked, and Cathy would have the altered version of the dress that she insisted on.
We decided to buy white fabric and dye it to the color Cathy had insisted upon. When we held the dying party, the fabric didn't come out teal at all, but a very attactive medium sky blue. Cathy pouted and said she couldn't possibly wear that color, but this time Trish and I held our ground. We both liked the color, and we weren't going to waste the time and money to buy new fabric and dye that. Cathy reluctantly agreed, but continued to sulk about the color of the dresses.
Cathy also had very definite ideas about what constituted appropriate jewelry for bridesmaids. She wanted us both to wear single-strand pearl necklaces and stud earrings. My jewely is never that quiet. If the request had come from Trish, I would have done it, but Cathy wasn't the bride here. Trish and I both felt that Cathy could wear whatever jewelry she wanted, but that I wouldn't be me if I wore that. Besides, Joel (a.k.a.: the groom) specially requested that I wear "wild earrings". I said I would be happy to do so.
In the midst of all this, Cathy had met her "Mr. Right" and was planning her own wedding, set for about a month after Trish's. Somehow this didn't stop her from planning Trish's at the same time. She had decided that Trish should be given a doe party at a male strip club - somewhere Trish would never want to go.
Finally, one morning Trish called me and said Cathy had demanded that we put big sequined appliques at the necklines of our dresses because she had decided they needed to be "dressed up" for a wedding in the woods with a picnic reception. This was the last straw as far as I was concerned and I said I would put a tacky sequin applique on that beautiful dress over my dead body. Trish said: "I was hoping you would say that." She then decided it was time to tactfully ask Cathy if it wasn't too much trouble being her (Trish's) bridesmaid while planning her(Cathy's) own wedding. Luckily, Cathy said it was all too much for her. Also luckily, Cathy's dress hadn't been made (or even cut out) yet, so Trish was able to get the fabric back. She also found two more bridesmaids, a girl Trish had babysat for some years and her mother. They both loved the shade of blue and the dress Trish and I had chosen. Without Cathy's "help", Trish's stress level diminished greatly, and we all had a good time at the wedding.