Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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Gimme Gimme

1999 Archive


I was surfing and came across your site. I'm recently engaged so thanks for the reminder on etiquette. I have a story too..

I had a best friend a few years ago who got engaged. She just loved to have the most expensive things. So another friend and I got together to buy her, her favorite place setting (we wanted to help set up her first collection of the setting that she always drooled over). She loved it. Then I received a bridal shower invite in the mail. And at the bottom it said "please bring cash only, no gifts". I'd never seen this before so I asked. Well she wanted money to buy her set of dishes. She didn't want people to give them to her as gifts because she wanted to ensure that she received exactly what she wanted (she didn't trust the registry, but she was registered). I was so upset that I just gave her some money but declined to go, stating a prior commitment. I didn't get an invite to her wedding. Good thing too because I found out she had three showers & the shower I was invited too was only for the people who were not going to be at the wedding and she had asked the wedding guests to also bring cash or gifts. Needless to say I have not spoken to her since.

Here's a pretty heinous one:

A salesman - let's call him Jeff - in our office (who, might I point out, makes way more money than the rest of us) was getting married to his girlfriend of 10 years. He actually passed out photocopies of his registry list to everyone in our department to make sure we got him something. Everyone dutifully brought an item to the wedding shower his boss threw him at work. At this shower, someone (probably the groom-to-be) actually had to gall to set up a money tree in the corner to tie cash onto. Here's the heinous part: A few days after the shower, the cheap SOB pins a single wedding invitation to the bulletin board but then privately takes each of us aside and explains that it's a small private wedding, so would we mind not actually showing up. Plus, we never got a thank you note for our gift. How's that for naked, unmitigated greed?

My mother was recently invited to a "money shower" by one of her cousins whose family is notorious for their lack of etiquette. The guests were instructed to bring cash in the amount they would have spent on a gift because "Cindi and Dave" are saving up for something big. Good! Let em save! The guests were also supposed to bring a "small, household gift"  as well. When my mother arrived she was instructed to fill out her own name and address on a thank-you card envelope! Several weeks later she received a pre-printed thank you card with no personalization at all, in the envelope that she herself had addressed! Unbelievable.