Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go

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Ooops!

(Foot-In-Mouth Disease and Silly Mistakes)

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My husband and I recently attended the wedding of one of his friends. We sat through a long ceremony with no complaints because we were happy for the couple. I was enjoying myself and looking forward to the reception until we walked down the receiving line. I approach the bride, whom I have met in the past, and told her how happy I was for her. Instead of saying something polite, she looks at me and says, "Who are you? I've never met you." She said it with attitude and loud enough to cause other guests to turn and stare. I have never been so humiliated at an event so we skipped the reception.

Ooops0729-07


I am the perpetrator of this Ooops!  I informed someone that her boyfriend married someone else.

It all began when DH and I went to visit his parents one last time before moving across the country so he could do his Masters degree. On Christmas morning, MIL and FIL brought it to our attention that DH's childhood friend was getting married. It was in all three local newspapers, one even had a 5x7 color photo of the bride-to-be.  DH, happy for his friend, called the parents of  "Adam" to congratulate him on his upcoming wedding. Adam's mom was rather evasive and stated that Adam was still in his current home, several states away, but she would pass along the sentiments. That was strange, considering the newspapers made it sound like the engagement had just happened a few days prior.

We then left for the university where DH began studying and I eventually found a job.  Adam's wedding date approached, so DH called to congratulate him and his bride, Julie.  The wedding, however, had been called off. We felt bad, but didn't think much about it.

Two months later Adam calls DH to say that he would be taking a trip with a friend in our area, and could they stay with us?  I immediately suspected that the friend was a female, to which DH replied that Adam had just called off his wedding and would not be involved again so soon.  When Adam and his friend arrived, a flabbergasted DH informed that I had been right, the friend was Tammy, a coworker.

Tammy and I got along famously and she told me that Julie had announced her engagement to Adam when she began to hear from his family that he was seeing someone else. Julie had even faxed pictures of herself to Adam in an attempt to remind him of her. It didn't work. He got enough guts to call off the wedding and stayed with Tammy.

Only one problem: Tammy was still legally married to someone else , so she couldn't marry Adam. They seemed willing to work on it, and we wished them the best.

Tammy and I began to write to each other and call occasionally.  About three months after meeting her, DH received a call from Adam: he was going back home to get married. DH asked him who he was marrying and Adam told him Julie. Strange, Tammy hadn't mentioned that to me.

A few days later, a sobbing Tammy called. She began to tell me that Adam had gone back home. Sensing she was having trouble, I said,  "That's okay, Tammy, we know that Adam went to marry Julie."  There was silence before she shouted,  "He married Julie?!"  I had just let the cat out of the bag!!!  Once we hung up, DH had to call Adam's family and confess what I had done. That kind of changed the relationship between DH and Adam. After awhile Tammy and I lost touch.

Four years later, we had moved. Adam, Julie and their baby were driving through and stayed with us a few days (against my protests.)  One night Julie gave her version of events, claiming that Tammy had never existed, that people just wanted to separate them.  Only three feet away was an album with photos of Tammy and Adam with DH and myself.....

Ooops0819-07


This simple story still haunts me to this day:

My husband and I married in summer 2001 and had brunch with my immediate family as well as my husband’s cousin “Jeff” the following day.  My husband has many cousins and Jeff lost his mother years before to a horrible disease.  When I introduced my mother to Jeff she made the connection that he was the cousin who lost his mother.  After a brief pause my mother said to Jeff, “So, you are the one with the dead mother.”  I was speechless.  My mother had no idea this was inappropriate!  I had to pull Jeff aside and apologize to him.  I am sure he remembers this moment every time he thinks of our wedding!!!

Ooops0909-07


 

My church organist, Jim, told this story on himself.

Jim stepped in at the last minute as an emergency replacement the organist at another church. He had been told that the bride was going to sing at her own wedding. Jim had the schedule of the service, but had not attended the wedding rehearsal.

As Jim tells it, he had to play the bride's accompaniment with one hand, since he needed the other to hold his ribs as he smothered his laughter. At the appropriate point, the bride turned tenderly to her groom, gazed into his eyes, took his hand, and sang "I'd rather have Jesus."

Ooops1117-07


 

I sang at a wedding because my friend who was supposed to sing became ill.  I did not know any of the family members but did know one guest, through my friend.

Everything went well until time for communion.  The bride was "directing" the proceedings from her place at the altar (and was doing a pretty good job, too).  At communion she whispered loudly to the best man to "get the gifts" (Catholics will know what this means - non Catholics will understand in a minute).

The best man looked all around then walked over toward me and the organist at the organ.  On the floor next to the organ was a shopping bag with handles.  Inside was what appeared to be a gift basket - the kind wrapped in cellophane with a large ribbon attached.  On the shopping bag was a post-it note which read "for the soloist".  I assumed it would be given to me when the ceremony was over (it was).

The BM strode over, rummaged around in the bag and, with much crackling of cellophane and rattling of paper, extricated the gift basket from the bag.  All the while the bride was hissing "the GIFTS, the GIFTS"!!! and gesturing emphatically toward the small table near the altar on which stood a small cruet of wine and one of water.

These are the "gifts" which are offered before communion, and it is this wine and water which are used in the communion sacrament during the Catholic mass.  Members of the congregation bring these "gifts" up to the altar and present them to the priest.  At a Catholic wedding, members of the B&G family often present the gifts.  The bride had apparently intended for the BM to pick these gifts up and deliver them to what appeared to be very elderly grandparents.

The BM carried the gift basket to the bride and when he finally understood what was intended he brought the gift basket back to the organ and put it back in the bag (more crackling and rattling) then went to get the water and wine and resumed his place at the alter, all to the consternation of the bride, and the ceremony resumed.

The organist and I did not laugh (out loud).

Ooops1214-07


Page Last Updated October 11, 2008