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(Foot-In-Mouth Disease and Silly Mistakes)


We'd planned the traditional wedding for my daughter, Lisa, who is a perfectionist. She's more organized than should be legally allowed, so every little detail had been taken care of. Needless to say, she'd began planning her wedding a year before it was to happen.

The rehearsal was like a pain staking drill & we all held our breath that we each performed our part at the exact moment that had been planned. I'd been a nervous wreck up until a strange calm took over me the morning of the wedding & I knew that everything was just going to be perfect.

I can't remember even a rose having enough guts to be out of place the day of her wedding! All the guest had been seated, the soloist began to sing, the Groom's parents walked down the aisle & were seated. As it was time for us to follow them, I turned into a spastic pathetic mess. I think I might have been dragging one leg & possible drooling (I'm not sure) but I do know that I was shaking uncontrollably. I could have wept with relief when we were seated. 

The Groom's mother got up & lit her taper, lit the candle that her son would use to light their unity candle with & it was then my turn to do the same. Feeling like Quasimoto, & shaking so badly that it took two hands to light my taper, I lit her unity candle but didn't notice that when I'd blown out my taper, I'd blown out her candle as well. I turned & resumed my seat only to have a groomsman come back to tell me that I had to do it again. By this time their videotographer had actually caught my shoulders going up & down & the audible "S*&%!" that I didn't know anyone else heard.

Again, I had two hands to light the stinking taper, lit her candle but was wiser now & turned my head when I blew it out. I took my seat only to see a couple of moments later the candle, still on fire, drop on the alter! By this time I knew I couldn't do it a third time so I smacked my Fiancé' to "fix it"! He looked like OJ Simpson galloping up to the alter. By this time everyone in the church was laughing out loud.

The wedding party was lined up to begin entering but they all turned around to look at Lisa when the laughter was heard. She just knew and said, "It was my Mom... right?" They all shook their heads!

The rest of the wedding was incredible and as the guests went through the reception line I was the wedding buzz! The Mother-in-Law that had tried to burn the church down!

I've just gotten remarried on July 1, 2000 & my daughter was my MOH. Our wedding and reception was held in a fire hall. The ongoing joke was that there were no candles at our wedding & even if I tried to light so much as a cigarette, everyone was protected!   oops0708-00

I must admit that I had a lovely wedding -- no horrible bridesmaids' dresses, sweet groomsmen, families getting along, and all that. However, *I* said something that to this day makes me blush, and I haven't yet figured out the right way to apologize for it...

Long story short, we didn't have much money so one of my fiance's good friends offered take pictures for us -- no staged shots, just fun candid snaps. He did a great job, too. About partway through the reception the DJ started playing "Unchained Melody," a crooning piece of romantic fluff popularized by the movie "Ghost." I don't think much of popular romantic fluff, and I'd specifically asked the DJ to go easy on the stuff. (I also asked him to avoid country and he ignored my pleas there, too, but that's another story. ;)

Our photographer friend must have noticed the way I winced (or so I thought at the time), because out of the blue he asked me, "Hey, do you like this song?" I candidly (because he's a good friend) confided to him that I HATE that song. He raised an eyebrow then nodded and wandered off to continue with his photo-taking. I took his reaction to be a "Oh, that figures," as my friends all know what a dyed-in-the-wool tomboy I am, and thought nothing more of it.

Later that night, when my husband and I got back to the sanctuary of our apartment to dig into our wedding presents (I hope that wasn't a faux pas in itself, it was the family's idea!), we opened the one from our photographer friend.

It was a beautiful music box.

Guess what it played.

To this day I don't know what to say except...if you ever read this, Aaron, I still treasure the gift and I owe you an apology!    ooops1004-00

My parents have been happily married for 25 years. They had a large wedding with no detail overlooked. After about 3 years of marriage,they moved to the same town as my father's parents. They were well known by everyone in this small town, they're wonderful people.

One day, after 9 years of marriage, a long time friend of my father's family approached my mother and asked her why she never came to her own bridal shower. Puzzled, my mother asked what she was talking about. Apparently, my father's mother had planned a large bridal shower, invited every woman in town and then some, the hall was full of women and gifts, fully decorated with lots of food. The only problem was that my grandmother failed to invite my mother, who was the bride!

My mother socialized with these people for ten years before someone finally approached her, the town just thought she was a snob! Thankfully my mother was able to rectify the situation and all is fine. My grandmother and my mother never really got along, but my grandmother was also sometimes a little absent-minded. I've always wondered whether my grandmother purposely forgot to tell my mother to make her look bad or if it was an honest   mistake?!     ooops1029-00

Last month, my husband and I attended a wedding in Texas. He and the bride had been good friends in college. The wedding was very beautiful, and everything went smoothly. Once we got to the reception, my husband and I sat down at our table with about 8 other people we had never met. It so happens that the bride was of Mexican decent and the groom was African American. Well, this guy sitting on our table decides to blurt out, "So I wonder what's for dinner? Will it be barbeque or will it be Mexican?!" The guy's wife gave a little chuckle, but no one else said a word. My husband and I were floored that this guy could be so rude. How tacky can you get? I just hope it never got back to the bride and groom, as I'm sure they would be hurt.      ooops0720-00

My sister, who shall remain nameless, has the honor of pulling the tackiest
wedding stunt I know of.   Her crowning glory was the behavior at my   brother's wedding.  Being a singer, she was asked to perform during the   ceremony.  Unfortunately, she, along with another sister, became lost on the   way to the church and missed the entire thing.  

When they finally arrived, the guests were in the receiving line.  When it came her turn to greet the  bride and groom, she said, "Sue, your directions were so f&*##@! "  Everyone  heard it, and my sister-in-law was mortified.  As was the rest of the family.  I wish I could say it was a one-time faux pas, but, unfortunately, it was  just one of many.   oops1117-00