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(Foot-In-Mouth Disease and Silly Mistakes)

2000 Archive
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At the door of the church, just as the bride was about to walk down the aisle I ( maid of honor) stepped on her very long veil, practically yanking it off her head. That was 11 years ago and I still feel VERY bad about it.     Ooops0410-02

My sister got married this past June....big wedding, the whole nine yards. I wasn't part of the wedding party, but that didn't bother me, my 2 daughters were flower girls and my son was the ring bearer. That was expensive enough. I did the 'behind the scenes' thing and made sure that nothing went wrong...fixing fallen hair and a few popped seems and such, and keeping out mother calm. The oops came about a month later when I saw the proofs for the pictures....I was in only one shot, and that was my back as I ushered out the 3 year old son to walk up the aisle with the pillow. I commented on this trying to be lighthearted and my dad said well, you weren't in the wedding party...I simply said yeah, but last time I checked I was still a family member. My mother's excuse that they forgot one kid (I am the oldest of 3 in one marriage, and 4 in the other) was that I was nowhere to be found....I reminded her that I was in the room next door and that I was in and out several times to fix the Bride's dress and also to keep an eye on my children. So much for sister noticed the fact that I was missing, and apologized sincerely....that made all the difference.   Ooops0418-02

Love the site! After reading the entries, I am astounded at the greed of some people, and at how smoothly my own wedding went 15 years ago.

There is one thing ...

My aunt (my father's younger, and only, sibling) was a manipulative, bossy, judgemental woman. I really did not like her, but what could you do, she was family. I probably shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but she had no problem doing it, so what comes around ...

Now, when we got married, my husband's hair was somewhat long (think Charlie Sheen in "The Three Musketeers"), but it was always clean and combed. He was a disk jockey at a rock n' roll station, so long hair wasn't exactly an occupational hazard.

At our wedding reception we had the traditional "wishing well," where guest could deposit their cards filled with good wishes -- and sometimes, though it was not expected -- cash.

Instead of discreetly depositing her card into the wishing well like oh, everyone else, my lovely aunt marches up to my husband-of-a-few-hours, hands him her card and says "Here, now you can afford a haircut!"     Ooops0419-02

About a year and 3 months ago a really close friend of mine called me and told me she had just got engaged. She was so excited and she told me that I was the first person she told. She then proceeded to ask me to be a bridesmaid. Of course I said "yes". Well, about 10 months go by and I haven't heard from her. I'm thinking that she's been so busy that she just simply hasn't had time to call. Well another 2 months goes by (that's a year now) and still no phone call. I'm so confused because I'm sure the dresses have already been ordered since the wedding is in 3 months. How did she know which size to order me? Well, 2 more months pass by and still nothing. Then the actual "wedding day" passes and I never even got an invitation! Congratulations "friend" !     Ooops0621-02

I have totally enjoyed reading the stories on your site. The ones about gifts made me remember one of the guests from my wedding. She (I'll call her "W") had RSVP'd but neither she nor her husband showed. Strike one, but not monumental as this was someone who was not really a close personal friend. It's what has happened since then that is the kicker. About a month after we had returned from our honeymoon, we ran into W at the store, who promptly informed us that she had our wedding gift to give us and would drop it by (she knew where we lived). Of course no gift ever appeared. It was several months before we ran into her along with her husband, and wouldn't you believe it - W tells us that she still has our wedding gift in her car and that she keeps meaning to drop it off at our house. My husband and I just smile and nod. Fast forward to a year later, we see W at a local function and cannot believe our ears when she talks to us again about still having our wedding gift! At this point I'm thinking, there really isn't a gift is there, you're just saying it to make yourself look good? But we don't say anything, just laugh along about how she is just driving around with our gift in her car. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years and just recently we ran into W and her husband again at a charity event. She actually comes up to us and says, in a voice loud enough that people around us hear it, that she STILL has our gift and that she "can't even use it herself because it has your names engraved on it"! She says this with a big smile as if it's just hilarious! I am still in total amazement. My husband was getting ready to tell her where she could go to get our names "buffed" out but I don't think she would have gotten the hint!   Ooops0415-02

My wife and I eloped two years ago. Eight months after we eloped we had a ceremony for friends and family. It was a lovely outdoor ceremony in a pavilion surrounded by rose gardens. I digress, the MOTB seemingly always tries to go above and beyond the call of an ordinary mother. For example, she used to call everyday sometimes three and four times a day just to see how we were doing. Anyway, we registered at a national store with internet registry (for those not located near a store). We registered for normal new couple things, practical items. The MOTB bought us a GE 26 cubic ft deep freezer (which we did not register for).

We have no idea why she bought the damned thing; we live downtown, everything is within walking distance. By the way, we live on the 14th floor in a condo with 9 rooms. So, after a year of bumping our toes and chins on the mammoth, we decide to get rid of it. So, we listed it on Ebay and sold it. Good, problem solved - WRONG. Her unsuspecting mother won the auction.

Oops 0918-02

When I got married, I was 22 and I wore a size 6 wedding dress. I looked nice, I'm sure I did, I have the pictures to prove it!

Anyway, on the day of the wedding, my mother in law came by ahead of time, cause her grandkids were the flower girl and ring bearer, and she couldn't WAIT to see them. She was more excited about them being all cute and dressed up, rather than her son getting married, but that's a whole other story.

So....the very first thing my 300 pound MIL says to me, ON MY WEDDING DAY, is...."You should be wearing a padded bra." No hello, no hi, no you look nice, or even, you look beautiful. You know, the normal things a MIL would ordinarily say to her new daughter in law. AND she bellowed that bit about the padded bra right in front of the photographer AND MY FATHER. As if my dad wants to hear that!   Oops 0917-02

My "oops" happened when my younger sister got married and I was a bridesmaid. Everyone knows you're supposed to wear waterproof mascara for weddings, right? So I did a careful makeup job and layered it on pretty thick. A little while later I discovered an interesting fact: I am allergic to waterproof mascara. Unfortunately, it was too late to take it off and redo my makeup, so I squinted and teared through the ceremony and into the reception. As soon as I had a free moment, I ran to the bathroom, scrubbed the stuff off with the industrial dispenser soap (not an easy task--that stuff is designed to stay put!) and redid my makeup. Oh, well.    Oops 0913-02

I'm 21, and recently got engaged to my 22 year old boyfriend, and we have been dating for nearly 5 years. This past weekend I attended my fiancĂ©’s cousin's birthday party (this kid is six) where we all are playing tee-ball. Well I am playing 1st base and the birthday boy decides he wants to play first base as well. This child has never said anything to me in my life, yet his first words to me are "Is there a baby in your belly?" Shocked, I shriek "no! why would you say that?" (If I had a belly I would understand, but I don't have one) and to this he replies "My dad said that's probably why you're getting married."    Oops 0909-02

A few years ago, one of my dad’s friends ("John") got married. My husband and I were invited to the reception. We’d never met the bride before, and we were looking forward to meeting her.

I was five months’ pregnant at the time. My husband is a fairly big man (this is relevant, as you’ll see). When we arrived at the reception, my mother took us to meet the bride.

My mother said "’Jane’, I’d like you to meet my daughter and her husband." Despite the fact that the reception had only been happening for a few minutes, Jane was obviously hammered. Struggling to focus on us, she suddenly burst out laughing. We smiled uncertainly, not knowing what was so funny. Giggling uncontrollably, she pointed at my husband’s stomach and said "Which … one of you … is PREGNANT? Ha ha ha ha!". She was too drunk to realize that none of us was laughing. Still giggling, she tottered off to the bar to get another drink.

My husband, who’s sensitive about his weight, was horribly embarrassed and hurt. I longed to punch Jane in the nose, but I didn’t think that would be a good idea on her wedding day.    Oops 0813-02