Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


Main Page/Home

The Faux Pas Archives
Wedding Etiquette

Bridesmaids and Beastmen
Bridal Showers
Bridezillas and Groomonsters
Faux Pas of the Year
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
Guests From Hell
Tacky Invitations
Wedding Rugrats
Just Plain Tacky
Tacky Toasts
Thank You Notes From Hell
Tacky Vendors
Wedding From Hell
Wicked Witches of the Wedding
Perfect Bride
Bridesmaid Dress Incinerator



Everyday Etiquette

Baby Showers
The Dating Game
Ooops! Foot in Mouth Disease
Funeral Etiquette
Gimme Hell
Holiday Hell
Just Plain Tacky
It's all Relatives
Every Day RugRats
Road Rage

Business Etiquette

Bad Business Etiquette
Merchants of Etiquette Hell
Bad Bosses

Faux Pas of the Year




Press Room/Contact


Just Plain Tacky

Jan-Jun 2000 Archive
Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
2000 Archive
2001 Archive
2002 Archive


My best friend's (let's call her Ellie) other best friend (Sandy?) who is a good friend of mine was getting married to her boyfriend of some time. As Ellie was the maid of honor, I became involved in helping out with planning tasks, including the bridal shower theme and decoration scheme etc. I was there when the bride chose her dress and headpiece, there for the fittings of the bridesmaids. As I wasn't a best friend, it didn't bother me that I wasn't a bridesmaid, but after all the exposure and involvement I had to the wedding, I was shocked to be told by the bride to my face that I wasn't invited. Why invite me to the dress fittings then!??! It was such a rude slap in the face. Needless to say, it's been a year since the wedding that I wasn't invited to and I haven't spoken to the happy couple since.   Tacky0116-03

At my own wedding at least 5 different people told me that, if I ever hurt "Steve" (my new husband), they would kill me! Perhaps threatening the life of a new bride is a wedding custom I haven't heard of (or are these people the most ill-bred humans you've ever heard of)?    Tacky0118-03

My brother got married on New Year's Eve at a resort in Mexico, which is about 7 hours from our area. All the guests had to drive to the Mexican resort for the wedding. A room in the resort costs $140 a night and we would need to stay for three nights. ($1320 so far). My husband and I need clothes ($75 for tux and $120 for me -total so far $1440). We bought my brother a lovely coffee table that my new sister-in-law admired ($300- $1740 total now). When we arrived at the resort, my soon to be sister-in-law informed us that the catering staff needed our dinner payments ($120- new total $1860) by 8 p.m. that night.

The wedding was small, but touching. The reception was not. Our $120 dinner consisted of tough roast beef, dried out vegetables, and stale bread. There was no cake, but there was a wonderful pastry tray. The pastries were good, but the new husband and wife took over half the tray to their room after spending only about 30 minutes with their guests.

The best part: The day after we arrived home, my brother called me up to say that he and his new wife were having a reception for all the people who couldn't go to the wedding. They asked if they could use my credit card to buy the food for the reception. I asked how they knew I had a credit card, as I had just received it about a month earlier. The hotel in Mexico had told them. I consented and was then informed that I would be expected to help prepare the reception meal, but dress up (again) and "attend" the reception, which would have no dancing or alcohol.

My brother and wife were tacky beyond belief.    Tacky0118-03

We were married in the late 1970's in a small southern town. We had a big wedding, with about 400 invitations, and received many lovely gifts. . One of the families on my in-laws' invitation list was the (very wealthy) president of a local bank and his family. This family had been long and close companions with my husband's family, with much visiting back and forth throughout my husband's childhood and youth. They were considered to be the closest of friends, and indeed, 25 years later, still are. When the wedding present from Mr. and Mrs. Bank President arrived at my house, I was anticipating something rather nice. After all, these people were like members of the family. And, well, he was a bank president. I was disappointed when I opened the small, somewhat battered box and found a rather inexpensive gift, an electric knife that probably cost under $10. But of course I didn't say anything about it, just expressed my gratitude at getting such a practical gift. 

Only later, when I was looking for the instructions in the box did I discover the Christmas tag which read "To Mrs. Bank President From Your Sister." They had actually given us a recycled present! I have never told my mother in law about this, because it would really hurt her, but I have been tempted to when she has talked about getting these people's children wedding gifts (usually a place setting of china). I didn't even tell my husband for a year or so. When I did tell him, he laughed and said, "Those folks never did spend a penny that they didn't have to. They are the tightest people with money that I have ever known." Needless to say, I never recycle a present.


What a great idea for a site! Now I see that there are other people who have suffered far more than us, but here's our story:

My husband and I have been together for about 12 years. I've watched his younger brother grow up from just-out-of high-school teenager to adult, now with his own business and very successful. He hadn't had many serious relationships, so when he told us he was engaged, we were quite thrilled for him. He seemed so happy.

A few months before their wedding, there is a bridal shower, which I didn't attend, since it fell on our anniversary, and I'd need to fly to the shower, etc, etc. This was all explained to SIL. Then, there's the wedding. First, we get no invitation, although we got a note about choosing our entrees for the rehearsal dinner. We'd moved, three months before, but apparently this was too much for BIL/FSIL to figure out. DH was best man, so we flew in three days in advance, taking time off from work, arranging for house and petsitters, etc. as well as having to rent a car, and rent/buy formal attire.

We arrived at night, after spending almost 12 hours in transit. We immediately ordered from room service, being exhausted and starving. BIL was at the hotel with his friends, helping MIL with the hospitality suite. Does he call up to our room or, better yet, come to see his older brother??? NO! He has his friend call up, and after we explain we've just ordered food, when we don't arrive downstairs within 10 minutes, they LEAVE--his fiancée is not feeling well. Ok, well, maybe they're tired.

The next day, BIL calls over and asks DH to go pick up tuxes with him. DH says fine, he'll get to spend time with his bro, and I'll go alone with MIL to run her errands--she's a basket case by now, and we'd both planned to go with her. Later that afternoon, DH calls us to come see BIL's new facilities--BIL was not going to call us, so DH decided to. We go there, and DH apologizes and tells me that BIL/FSIL had hosted a brunch for all their attendants and spouses that morning--they'd spent the whole day partying while *I* got to deal with their mother who was losing it. Ok, well, DH didn't know about it ahead. I hug BIL hello and congratulate him on the new offices. Future-SIL comes over, says (literally, this is all she said to me--for the next four days) "Hi, I'm Nikki..." and then she walks away before I can say anything in response. Well, maybe it was nerves.

We get to the rehearsal dinner, and does this lovely couple thank anyone for coming or anyone who actually paid for this (they didn't pay for any of it themselves)?? NO! Instead they drone on and on about how she works WITH him and not FOR him, and how they're making sacrifices (she, at this point, has known him almost a year; they've been engaged for most of that), blah, blah, blah. I should mention here that at our wedding, my husband's family refused to contribute to the wedding or to host a rehearsal dinner and my family could not afford one--although they had given us some money toward the wedding. For BIL's wedding, DH's family contributed quite a bit.

After the rehearsal dinner, we found out later, BIL and FSIL had a party *at their house* to which DH and I were not invited. They invited all their other attendants and all their friends, but not us. DH found out the next morning.

But wait, it doesn't end there. A few weeks later, I send their gift (it had been ordered earlier, just took a while.) It was their complete everyday flatware set--service for 8 plus ALL the serving pieces made. This was not cheap stuff; it costs $70/setting. Of course, I'd gotten it on sale, but it was still a lot of money. A month goes by. Do they bother to even acknowledge the gift?? OF course not! When I asked if they'd received it (note the wording), the email response I got was hellish, but here's the kicker: "Of course, as you MUST know, we have a year to send a thank-you note." HUH?? I asked if they'd gotten it, since it was not inexpensive, I wanted to make sure they'd gotten it safely. And, no, I didn't know you had a year to send a thank-you (how ridiculous is that?? 'oh, thank you for my birthday gift you sent last year'; I thought that was for sending GIFTS to a wedding. As far as I know, it's a few months at most to acknowledge a gift sent to you. And it's common courtesy to acknowledge receipt of a gift, so the recipient knows you received it.   Tacky0130-03

The "I have one year to send thank you notes" is an urban legend created by lazy brides who couldn’t be bothered to express an ounce of gratitude in a timely fashion.

My mom, sister, brother and I were invited to my cousin’s wedding. We drove over 500 miles to get there. Once we arrived, my cousin started giving out orders like a drill sergeant on crystal meth. We were forced to decorate the church with the pathetic flowers picked from my aunt’s front yard. My brother, an artist, was required to draw and redraw—three times before it was "right"—a picture of the ugly flowers for the front of the wedding program. The night before the wedding, my cousin asked my sister and I to "serve" at her wedding. We, being rational human beings, assumed she meant DURING the ceremony. Oh no. After the blissful nuptials, we were sent to the congregation hall for the "reception." My cousin handed my sister and I each a knife and ordered us to stand behind a table of cakes and cut pieces for the guests. That’s what she meant by "serving." My brother manned the punch bowl. None of us got a single thing to eat the whole time. There was no booze (Fundamentalist Christians!) so my brother deserted his post at the punchbowl and went down to the corner store for a six pack of beer, which we drank in the kitchen, where we had been sent to DO THE DISHES! My mother was also sent in to help with the dishes. I don’t think my cousin would have liked the fact that we were making fun of her at her own wedding, but that’s sure what we did. Even my mom! We left for home the next day and continued to mock my tacky cousin the whole 500 mile drive. Of course, she got divorced two years later.



I recently attended a fabulous wedding. However there was one "incident" that remains branded on my brain. The set up is really the best part. The mother of the bride had quite the time of it during the wedding planning - hijacking the bride's plans, changing the menu with the caterer without telling the happy couple-to-be, etc. As the wedding came closer she began to worry that the friends of the bride and groom (all in their late 20's early 30's) would become drunk, rowdy and possibly naked at the reception. She even came up with an elaborate scenario in which the out-of-control guests would grab the tiki torches and set fire to the reception hall... [to give her some credit part of her fear stemmed from the fact that half of her family firmly believes that alcohol is the work of the devil and she probably didn't want to hear about how disgraceful they felt the wedding was if people were visibly drunk and obnoxious...]

Of course none of the above behavior was displayed by the friends of the bride and groom - most of us had shelled out $500 to fly across the country on a holiday weekend and weren't in the "hey free booze" mindset Mom had pre-judged us to have. However we were treated to a 5 minute lap-dance (I kid you not - the DJ went through at least two songs before it was over) performed by a three-sheets-to-the-wind colleague of the mother of the bride on a man who was married to another guest... It was truly horrifying - we all tried to avert our eyes (although I heard that the photographer got some good shots of it!) but it was like a train wreck! It finally ended when their chair went crashing to the ground to the drunken hoots and hollers of the rest of the table of mother-in-law's co-workers (all in their mid-50's, not to be ageist but to note the irony of presuming the worst will come from the youngest guests!).

The poor man, who looked extremely uncomfortable during the lap-dance, was visibly bruised by the crash. To the credit of the friends of the bride and groom - many of them subtly tried to form a wall of sorts on the dance floor to distract and block the view of the bride and groom from this embarrassment. To this day mother of the bride denies that any of this actually happened...


My husband's brother, Colin, had proposed to his future Bridezilla, Karen, and we all knew nothing good would come of it. Karen was a nasty piece of work; she used to punch Colin in the arms and body for no apparent reason and refused to let him out of her sight (one time he came to visit us for the weekend, about three hours from where he lives, and within twelve hours Karen was on the phone telling him he *must* come home *now* because she'd had a fight with her mother. Again).

Karen arranged much of the wedding. I had been married three years before, and had priced the place where they decided to have the wedding and reception. It was quite expensive, so we decided not to go there. Karen, however, had her heart set on it, and booked the place. My husband's and Colin's parents had paid for half of our reception three years previously (we didn't ask, they offered), but they said they would pay the same amount towards Colin and Karen's reception, as theirs was far more expensive than ours. Karen and Colin asked for money for the wedding, so we happily put $100 in a card to take to the wedding.

The week before the wedding, Colin and Karen realized they didn't have enough money to pay for the reception, so they called up Colin's other brother Jason and asked to borrow $1000 to cover the rest of the reception. Jason agreed, and gave them the money. Jason and Karen had always had a personality clash - they really didn't like each other. But because Jason loved his brother, he was happy to loan them the money to get them out of a pinch.

On the wedding day, Colin opened up all of the wedding money out of the envelopes almost immediately, and put the money in his pocket. He paid Jason back the $1000 from the wedding money, and Jason decided to try and make a fresh start with Karen. He approached her after the ceremony and said, "Congratulations on your marriage. I know we've never gotten along, but how about we start over?" Karen looked him up and down and said, "There is no way I'm going to ever forget any of the things you've said to me. No way." There's gratitude! Sure, she shouldn't feel indebted to Jason for the rest of her life, but she might have summoned a little bit of decency and let bygones be bygones, on her wedding day of all days!   Tacky0104-03

My best friends are three girls from high school. We have kept in touch like no time at all has passed, even though high school graduation was almost 20 years ago. Only one of us still lives in our home town; two of us live on the other side of the country, and one of us lives about 8 hours away from our hometown. The first one of us, the one who still lives in our hometown, is getting married. The three of us out-of-towners begin making plane reservations for the big event, including coming in for her night-before bachelorette party, and staying through 'til the brunch her family is throwing the day after the wedding. Much to our surprise, the bride doesn't ask the three of us to be her bridesmaids. She instead asks a few girls that she has known for less than a year. Fine.

The day of the wedding, who do you think is following the bride around, bustling her dress, getting her a drink, helping her in the bathroom, etc.? The three of us, not the bridesmaids. In addition, the bridesmaids change out of their bridesmaids dresses for the reception and complain to the bride about even having to wear them through the whole, long ceremony. The bride even had the audacity to complain to me and my two friends, while the reception was going on, about how awful these girls were behaving.

Fast forward a few months, and the four of us are out on the town. The wedding comes up, and the bride starts complaining about her bridesmaids. Turns out three of them are no longer speaking to her. She had five bridesmaids, and the only two who are still talking to her are her sister and sister-in-law. Gee, nobody saw that coming.

It's a year later. The second of us is getting married (I'll call her new bride). She's doing it on very short notice because her mother has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and only has about three months to live. The new bride plans a black tie wedding for a Saturday night in our hometown. This means that since the new bride is already in town, and the bride from the first wedding (I'll call her old bride) still lives there, only two of us have to fly in for the big event. Nonetheless, the old bride is miffed about the black tie not being optional. So (get this) she calls the new bride's DYING mother and complains about the black tie. Of course, the new bride's DYING mother offers her the names of some places that rent reasonably priced tuxedos. The old bride then calls me and complains about how the DYING mother of the bride didn't tell her it was OK for her husband not to wear a tuxedo and didn't show her any sympathy. I try to explain to her (without killing her) that the DYING mother of the new bride didn't have the authority to do that, and also has other things on her mind. The old bride is still angry. She adds that her husband doesn't even like the new bride's fiancé, and doesn't even want to go to the wedding. Plus, there's her dress, the gift, the parking at the hall... I manage to diffuse her and tell her about a couple of places where the old bride can get her husband (who none of us likes, BTW) a cheap tux. She thanks me, but then spends the whole night at the wedding pointing out every man not wearing a tuxedo (all three of them out of a 150 person wedding).

Six weeks after the new bride's wedding, her mother dies. I am supposed to be leaving for Europe the day after this happens. So, while I'm out of the country, I call the new bride, offer my condolences, and change my flight plans so I can pay a Shiva call. The old bride, who is now pregnant and lives about three miles from the new bride's late mother, doesn't go to the cemetery or pay a Shiva call, because someone told her that it's bad luck for a pregnant woman to go to a cemetery.

I have no idea how I am even still friends with the old bride after all this.


Here's a quickie. My brother was getting married and his fiancée’s family decided to throw him a welcome-to-the-family men only party. It was extravagant, at the ritzy country club they belonged to. My brother was a mechanic and fixed some of the equipment there, like the golf carts, so he felt out of place. They knew that, and they invited a few of the guys from the club who they knew had seen him working there. It was basically to insult him and make him feel little, like wasn't good enough to marry into the family. (His fiancée is the sweetest though, always kind, generous, and has a compliment ready, and she's a model, but she always makes everyone else feel beautiful themselves. I love her to pieces myself and am thrilled she's going to be my maid of honor as I was for her. How was she born into this family?)

The kicker was at the end of the night. Since it was "his" party, it was only appropriate that! They actually presented him the bill and told him the club's policy is to have full payment within a week of the event!

They decided to move the wedding and uninvite the family members behind this "prank," which was most of them. Since then, they've had nothing to do with her family, who to this day have been trying to get her to divorce "the help." In staying with him, she gave up a multi-million dollar inheritance, but she's choosing love. She's a true gem.    Tacky0203-03

Reading the other stories here, I think I probably got off easy... I married at 18 a man my parents chose for me (very religious family, another story entirely). His sister had been a good friend for some time and I knew his mother from church. The rest of his family I really didn't know well. Neither family had much money (and my father had produced a piece of paper I'd signed when I was FOUR- saying that I would pay for my own wedding!), and we didn't have much, so we had a simple wedding at our church.

I wore my aunt's dress, my MOH made her dress and the other BMs dress. Decorations were some potted palms and some ribbons. I made the bouquets myself from silk flowers. Our reception was at a friend's house- they lived out on the lake and had a lovely home with a wide porch on the lake side of the house.

Small things went wrong. The day before the wedding, the weather suddenly got warm- nearly 20 degrees above the normal. I was assembling the cake (which I baked) when the frosting began to melt. I panicked and my mom came over and sort of fixed it, but there was crumbs visible in the frosting. It rained the next day. My photographer didn't show up (He'd marked the wrong weekend). A friend of my dad's had a 1933 Rolls Royce, and he offered to take me to the church, and then to the reception. When we left the church, he sped off, drove through a couple of little towns to let people gawk at the car, with my husband and I in the back wondering where we were. Our families and other friends had gotten left behind, and they were wondering where we were too!

We finally got there. We were herded out onto the porch, where the presents had been brought, and we were sat down and told we had to open the presents! We made a go at being nice about it. Until we found several large boxes from some of his family who I didn't know well. We opened them and I was HORRIFIED. They were disposable diapers. Apparently his family assumed that since I was so young that I must be pregnant, and we would be needing them. This could not have been farther from the case, but they thought it was terribly funny, and took several pictures of me being utterly humiliated. We finally went in and cut the cake. His mother said it 'looked funny'. I didn't want to hear about it. We turned around to get something from the buffet table- it was now past 6pm and I hadn't eaten since breakfast. There was virtually nothing there. His brothers (and a few other guests) had been slipping in and out of the house while we opened gifts. I had a piece of cake and a couple of crackers. We had to stop at a fast food place on our way out of town because we were hungry! This was 20 years ago, and we've been divorced for nearly 10 years, but I still cringe when I think about those diapers!    tacky0205-03

My sister learned she was pregnant shortly after her boyfriend began Basic Training, and they decided to marry when his training was completed. On short notice, she and my mother put together a small beautiful ceremony in a country church. My mother altered a cousin's wedding dress for my sister as she could not afford one of her own, and my sister was absolutely glowing and beautiful. She was not showing much, and the dress hid the rest. She did not want the minister to know of the pregnancy, as she was afraid the conservative pastor might refuse to officiate if he knew. The families never said a word. Many of those in attendance knew nothing of the pregnancy.

At the reception in the gathering hall, as guests were on their way in, one of my sister's friends (who knew about the pregnancy, and our wishes to keep it secret), approached my sister and handed over her UNWRAPPED gift--a pink baby blanket. My sister turned white, but thanked her "friend" politely. I, and the MOH, took the package and hid it in the MOH's car before any other guests could see. How my sister kept her composure is a miracle, considering the usual wedding day stress. Also, my sister had a boy, so the blanket was never used. The MOH may still have it, for all I know.    Tacky0205-03

A few years ago, I attended the wedding of a friend and coworker. It was small but well done, with close family and a few friends and coworkers at the wedding and reception. We were all encouraged to bring significant others, so I brought my then-boyfriend. The service was beautiful, as was the reception. It was a good time. I am very quiet and shy, especially around the people I work with, and was very glad to have my date with me.

Then came the tossing of the bouquet. All the single women were called up (in my case, dragged). I stood in the back/middle, really not wanting to draw attention. Of course I didn't catch the bouquet. Then they call up all the single men, for the tossing of the garter. My date jumps up. As the men gather, most have to be encouraged, and no one wants to stand in front. The garter is tossed..... my date throws himself ~ shoving several of my coworkers out of the way!!~ to catch the garter. I was absolutely mortified.

Evidently, he didn't have a clue what he'd have to do with the garter, but it didn't look that way when he had to put it on my friend, who had caught the garter. As his hands went higher, he actually had to pull her long skirt over with his hands underneath, (so her undergarments wouldn't be inappropriately revealed!) She teased me afterward, about how she would 'steal him' from me. But we both knew he's an idiot, not a cheater.
A few months later, and I'm still dating this guy. A very close friend is getting married back home, and he wants to come with me. I said "No Way!" And he wondered why...   Tacky0211-03

This took place at my fiancé's sisters wedding in 2002. Her now husband has some "herbal dependencies" which are known and tolerated by her family. In the time between the ceremony and the reception they did the traditional drive around town honking horns. The groom and his brothers partook in their "hobby". They also continued to do so during the majority of the reception. At 55 years of age, her father had never smelled this and was floored to see this going on at the wedding. As the night progressed, the grooms high and drunk brothers as well as his sisters and mother proceeded to accuse the bride’s twin sister of stealing $$ from the bar! The police were called, the drugs were thrown into the bush... This made for an interesting gift opening the next day. This all happened a little more that a year before my fiancés and my wedding. I took this as a great example of what I hope will NOT happen at my wedding. You may think this a little "bridezilla-ish" but I have pretty much issued cautions that this behavior (HELLO?! ILLEGAL) will NOT be tolerated at our wedding!

I have two tales of wedding food . . . or lack thereof. Wedding #1 was my sister's wedding. I was her maid of honor. With the cocktail hour and that pesky little first dance behind us, the bridal party and I took our seats at the head table for the best man's toast. There was supposed to be a glass of champagne at every spot, but somehow I got overlooked. There was a glass there for me . . . it just didn't have any champagne in it. So my sister handed me the cranberry juice and vodka she had been drinking during the cocktail hour. I suppose it was better to toast her future happiness with that instead of an empty glass.

Then came the dinner faux pas. The plan was pretty standard -- the waitresses would serve the head table, and then the rest of the guests would be called up for the buffet. They began serving the head table, and I waited patiently for them to set a plate in front of me. And I waited, and waited, and waited . . . the next thing I know, the DJ is calling tables up to the buffet even though neither I nor the bridesmaid next to me has been given any food. The waitresses are nowhere to be seen and the rest of the bridal party is chowing down. The other bridesmaid and I were pretty flabbergasted that we had been skipped. Maybe it's just me, but how do you miss the two people sitting to the immediate right of the girl in the big white dress? Once my brother-in-law saw that we had no food, he hunted down the waitresses. Within a few minutes, we were finally given many apologies and two hastily thrown together plates of food.

Wedding #2 took place about a year later. One of my best buds from high school was the groom and I was one of the bridesmaids. It was the usual bridesmaid routine for most of the day -- get up at the crack of dawn to get your hair done, scarf down a quick breakfast, stand around waiting for pictures and processions down the aisle, stand a little more during the ceremony, and forget about finding time to eat anything resembling lunch. Such is the life of a bridesmaid (I know, I've been one 4 times so far, and 3 of those weddings took place within the same year). I fully expected that I wouldn't have a chance to eat anything between my 8:00 am croissant and the 6:00 p.m. reception. What I didn't expect was not being fed until nearly 10:00 p.m.

The cocktail "hour" turned into over two hours. There were two waitresses with trays of hors d'oeuvres. The shrimp tray came my way several times, but of course I can't stand shrimp. Despite many attempts, I couldn't flag down the other waitress to save my life...I would have had more success hailing a cab in NY during rush hour. The waitress disappeared every time I got within 20 feet of her.

There was also a carving station with a huge, huge line. Since I was having no success with the hors d'oeuvres, I got in line for the roast pig, who I lovingly dubbed Wilbur. About 10 minutes later I reached the carving table and, wouldn't you know it, they had just run out of Wilbur. I would have liked to have had more than one drink during the cocktail "hour", but alcohol and that whole I-haven't-eaten-all-day thing wouldn't have been a good combo.

After the extended cocktail hour, we were finally allowed into the main reception hall. But instead of dinner, there was an hour of music and dancing. Between the lack of food, my super-tight bridesmaid hairdo, and the DJ blasting the music so loud that it could be heard in multiple time zones, I had developed a major headache, and the other bridesmaids weren't fairing any better. About an eternity later, the obnoxious DJ from hell quieted the music and announced that dinner was ready. Appropriately, the bride and groom were called up to the buffet first -- they were seated by themselves at a sweetheart table so us bridal party types could sit with our significant others. But after the bride and groom, the DJ called up just about every table except ours. In fact, we were one of the last tables called up. It was about quarter of ten when we finally sat down to eat. The bridal party doesn't need to be treated like royalty, but it should be acknowledged that, unlike most guests, they've had a lot more to do during the day and most likely haven't had a chance to eat a whole lot. And really, how do you miss the table with the four girls in the big poofy silver dresses? Future brides, when you book your caterer, you may want to make sure they don't slip a "please don't feed the bridesmaids" clause into the contract.    Tacky0318-03

A couple of years ago, I attended a wedding held for my step-father's brother "Stan" and his girlfriend "Marie." Stan's and my step-father's mother is known to be a little eccentric and intrusive at times. Well, before this wedding took place, my step-grandmother ("Louise") was told SPECIFICALLY by Stan and Marie that rice was not to be thrown at their exit. In addition, they did not want a large get-together for the wedding as we are a close-knit family with few mutual friends, but the warnings and requests went unheard.

In the beginning, the wedding party was great. Stan's friend was to be the caterer, since it seemed right to have her cater the party, as it is her job anyway. Against the bride- and groom-to-be's request, a lot of people were invited by none other than Louise herself. (Her defense? "I wanted to surprise them." And surprise them she did... with her lack of respect for Stan and Marie's wishes). Not only that, but a couple of co-workers of Stan's arrived wearing scanty dresses and tacky with what looked like pasted on makeup. If I were to call them high class hookers, that would be too offensive to the hookers. On top of that, their dancing was raunchy and inappropriate to the point of extreme embarrassment. One of the two women had an accident where her breast even fell out of her dress. I was red-faced with embarrassment. Later on, Stan and Marie exited the nice building which was rented at a costly price and were showered with rice and hooting and hollering. The hooting and hollering I could bear, but to go against the wishes of the bride and groom? That's just plain wrong.    Tacky0322-03

In January 2001, one of my sorority sisters, whom I will call Mary, announced at our weekly meeting that she was pregnant. A few weeks later, her boyfriend (Jon) proposed, and they planned their wedding for late summer. Here's where it gets "interesting." Mary and Jon decided to be married in her hometown, at her parents' home. Now, for as long as any of us have known Mary and her family, we have lovingly labeled them as being a teeny bit white trash--and Mary agrees. So, some of the things that occurred should have been no surprise, but somehow, they were.

At a sorority meeting in May, Mary announces that she needs to know who is coming (the wedding is in mid-July), so she can give them invitations (and directions, as none of us have been to her hometown). I thought this a trifle odd, but went along with it. The directions inform me that Mary's hometown is 200 miles south of the university and that it will take approximately five hours to make the drive. My date and I leave at 9 a.m. for a 3 p.m. wedding, giving ourselves an extra hour, just in case we have problems with the directions. However, we arrive just after 12:30, as there has been a gross miscalculation in the drive time. Fine, at least we are not late.

I offer my assistance to Mary's mother, who assures me all is under control. Mary's family and the remainder of my sorority filter in. My date is wearing dress pants, a dress shirt, and a tie (remember, this is an outdoor wedding in July), and I have on a nice (although sleeveless) dress. Most of Mary's family is in cutoffs and t-shirts, which gives my sorority sisters the brilliant idea to hightail it back to their hotel and change (therefore making them LATE, which was no matter, because the ceremony didn't start until 3:30).

Of course, Mary is obviously pregnant (nearly 8 months at this point), and there is no camouflaging it in any way. Despite this, she is still wearing a lacy white dress with a 6 foot train (OUTDOORS!) Add this to the fact that the maid of honor had lost 30 pounds between the last dress fitting (in April) and the wedding and appeared ready to spill forth from her dress at any minute. The ceremony itself was uneventful and relatively brief, ending at 4 p.m. The reception, also at Mary's parents' home, was to be immediately following. In the minds of these dear folks, however, "immediately" meant 3 hours after the ceremony. Here all the guests were, in the middle of nowhere, trying to kill 3 hours while the wedding party cruised in the limo. No beverages were offered, and there were not even enough seats for all of us to be in the shade. Also, the only bathroom available was an outhouse. My date had to work at 8 the next morning (back 200 miles north!), and we had planned to leave after an acceptable amount of time at the reception.

Mary and Jon's first dance did not even occur until 9 p.m., after which they immediately started to open the gifts. I had gotten them a nice crystal vase, which was immediately dubbed, "hey, cool, a big beer mug!" I must add that Mary had by this point given up on all pretense of hiding her condition. She had changed into a white, floor length, slinky, form-fitting dress that appeared to be made from spandex, which showed off her growing frame. Finally, we got on the road around 10:30, which put us home at 2 a.m., with me nearly falling asleep at the wheel while my date dozed off so that he would be semi-coherent for work the next day. And, over a year and a half later, I still have yet to get a thank you card!   Tacky0324-03

It all started when my roommate, Penny, said that she and her boyfriend, Greg, were getting married. Penny's family was from the Midwest; Greg's family lived in Idaho. Since Greg was attending a military college, they decided to get married in the city where his school was located, so as not to favor either family. Due to the circumstances of each family, it was decided that they'd camp out in a nice campground with great facilities--Penny's family had a large (sleeps 10-12, with a separate master bedroom in back) motor home, and Greg's family had a camper for the parents, and tents for the kids. I was to be Penny's only attendant, since the wedding was out-of-town.

Penny introduced me to Clint, the photographer--he had given Penny and Greg a deal on wedding photographs, since he was just starting out. He was from our church, although I didn't know him--and he and I decided to drive down together, and get rooms at a local Motel 6. We were both fresh out of college, and money was scarce. Penny's family heard of our plans, and called me on the phone. "Don't get a motel room!" her mom begged; "Just stay with us! Our motor home is plenty big enough! Then you won't have to drive back and forth. We have a shower, five double beds and two twins..." etc., etc. She called me a couple of times before I finally capitulated and canceled our room reservations.

The week of the wedding arrives, and we drive down to the southern coastal state. All is going well; the night before the wedding, the bride and I share a section of the motor home, and visit and giggle nearly all night. The next day, we had the wedding at the church, and then the wedding dinner at a local restaurant--and the happy newlyweds departed for their honeymoon hotel. The lovebirds took off around 6:30 p.m. We sat at the campground, visiting for a while--and then it started to rain. We began to scatter to our respective shelters.

As I stood up from the picnic table, the bride's mother turns to me and says, "Well, you and Clint are welcome to stay in the pup tent tonight!" she beamed. WHAT?!?! I've driven 12 hours to be in your daughter's wedding; I've paid all of my own expenses, you practically INSISTED that I cancel the motel reservations I'd made; it's starting to rain--AND YOU WANT ME TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN A PUP TENT WITH A MAN I'VE ONLY KNOWN FOR TWO DAYS?!?!?

"Oh, my! Just look at the time!" I stammered. "We really must be going..." --and so Clint and I started off toward home at 7:30 p.m. Needless to say, after the previous near-sleepless night, and the busy day, we were barely able to drive an hour from the campground--where we had to pay more than twice as much to get a room to share with two beds!   Tacky0401-03

In the middle of my beautiful wedding reception, the wife of an acquaintance of my husband, whom I had been warned was very shallow and catty, walked up to me and said, "That wedding cake is just awful!". Not a big deal, I know, but I felt it rather rude.    Tacky0424-03

This is a story of how my husband and I came to "host" a Wedding Reception for a friend of my husband. All names have been changed to not humiliate the ignorant or ill informed. "Joe" met "Jane" while after moving in next door to her apartment. They instantly fell in love. Jane wasn't a US citizen and was about to be deported. Joe proposed. They then called US up and requested we stand up for a simple ceremony w/ only a "REVEREND", them and us. My husband calls me from work and says...that Joe is throwing off hints about not being able to have a reception as their apt's "club house" is booked. I finally relent and tell him to tell them they can have it here at our home..but it's all in their hands as I was VERY pregnant w/ our 3rd child and not really supposed to be doing much due to complications.

My mother calls up the new bride and says she'll help w/ the food and decorations and was purchasing a small cake as a gift (Incredibly nice considering she didn't even KNOW the bride and had met the groom only a handful of times). She gets the color scheme etc..and asks the BTB to help choose a cake. She says for my mom to choose as she's bad w/ this type of thing and she knows she'll love it. My mom proceeds to order a lovely 2 tiered cake that is just gorgeous!

She then talks to her about FOOD. The BTB has this "wonderful" idea of serving her FH's favorite foods.... chili pie, pasta salad, lasagna and cold cuts. Both myself and my mother calmly talk her out of the chili pie explaining that the wedding was in NOVEMBER, we did not have room for 35 guests to have a sit down type dinner and perhaps we should go w/ a buffet finger food type offering. The BTB is firm...chili pie. I finally just flat out told her 35 people were not going to roam my home w/ chili pie...sorry. Unfortunately we couldn't talk her out of the pasta salad and lasagna. I did also put my foot down about them getting a KEG of beer....totally too much for 35 guests. This is a RECEPTION not a Frat party!

My mom and myself have a large collection of nice trays, decorations etc...that we offer to loan for the event. The bride says she has it all under control. Day of the wedding... I leave my children w/ my mom and go to witness the ceremony. My DH went on up the 3 flights of stairs to see how soon they'd be ready and I waited at the car...(remember very Pregnant) My DH comes back down and says "be afraid, very afraid". I should have known!!! Neither the bride or groom were 'dressed' so we proceeded to the ceremony area...and waited 15 min or so for them to get ready and join us.

They arrive. The bride is wearing a MINI Dress that barely covered her butt...a black jungle type print velour mini dress to be exact w/ no shoes. The groom was not nearly as jeans and a white dress shirt again no shoes. Which I still don't get..seeing as it was NOVEMBER and an outdoor wedding. the ceremony was over in 5min and we headed back to our house. Well...the bride and groom didn't show up for TWO HOURS...they lived 5 min from us and we were left trying to explain to the guests what the situation was. It seems the invitations that they mailed made it seem as though the guests were attending a WEDDING...not just a reception after the wedding. This left my mom and I to explain that they were married earlier that afternoon but wanted to "share their joy' by holding a reception for their friends. Finally they arrive..and the bride is DRUNK as a skunk, bragging that she just got 'laid'..and is carrying cookie sheets?! She apparently slapped down some crackers and cheese slices in layers and thought it would do.....on COOKIE SHEETS- no foil, no nice doilies ...plain old silver cookie sheets!! ACK! Then came the lasagna: lasagna noodles layered w/ cheddar sauce, no other cheese, no meat...AWFUL! The clincher for my mom was when the bride wanted to put out a cookie sheet of rice krispie treats on the table w/ the cake. It was just horrendous.

My mom later told me that upon being introduced to the Reverend and asking about his "Church" attachment and training (she works for a Southern Baptist Church and is very devout)... he says... "some people need religion and some just need $20 and a ad from the back of a magazine to become Ordained, I'm the later". She almost died! It wasn't till a week later that I told her the sweet guy she was having a theological discussion with about miracles and the "place" of the church in verifying them....was a card carrying racist skinhead member who had recently been interested in joining the KKK (something that neither I or my DH believe in at all, but we didn't feel we had the right to limit who the B&G invite because of our personal beliefs). I thought she was going to have a stroke!

I was ready to shut the whole party down when the "reverend" decided they needed more tequila and went on a "liquor run" and they were contemplating doing "body shots" in my kitchen! My mom meanwhile had managed to hide the rice krispie treats and transfer most of the food to more appropriate trays and serving platters....all while guarding the punch bowl since there was talk of it getting spiked.

My husband finally took the groom aside and said it was time to wrap this it had been a long day and I was not feeling very well ...and to be honest...a 6hr reception in someone else's home is plenty. It took the groom about 20 minutes to drag the bride to the car. I've never been so happy to see people LEAVE my house! My mom did receive a lovely thank you note from the b&g as did my husband and I. for the use of our home and since then we have seen them ONCE...and then the bride was acting very oddly, started crying and even forgot her SHOES here so the groom took her home and we haven’t seen or heard from them since. I told my husband that under no circumstance would we ever subject ourselves to that ever again and if I even THINK about considering remind me of Joe & Jane's fiasco!    Tacky0417-03

My beloved sister, "Maureen", recently got married to a wonderful man. About four months prior to the wedding, my parents' next-door neighbors asked if she could housesit for them long-term--right up until about two weeks before the wedding, in fact. Maureen moved out of her apartment and into their house, sending a lot of her stuff to the place her fiancé found for them to live after the wedding. Now, my sister is a very laid-back person, and she had the wedding coordinator from Heaven, but still, as they were short-timing the wedding planning (due to various factors, they had barely five months' prep time), there was some stress involved.

After the neighbors returned, Maureen moved in with my parents for the final two weeks before the wedding. That's when the trouble started. Maureen had removed exactly one thing from their house: a cookie sheet she'd used to bake her fiancé a big, heart-shaped cookie for Valentine's Day. Being a little distracted, she'd forgotten all about it. When the husband asked after it, she returned it promptly. This was not the end. Since Maureen had lived there for four months, things had gotten moved around in their kitchen--which is quite small, by the way. Suddenly, there was a steady stream of questions from the neighbors as to exactly where things were. Pretty understandable, even if it really couldn't have been that hard for them to find things for themselves, but the capper came when the wife complained that she couldn't find her pan lids. To this day, Maureen has no idea why finding the pan lids was a problem. She never took a single pan out of the house, and being a logical person, tends to put pans and their lids together after washing them.

Nonetheless, the husband (accompanied by their demon-spawn of a five-year-old son) kept coming over and asking if Maureen had taken the pan lids. On one visit, the demon-spawn actually yelled, "My mama says you better give back the lids!" Add this to the stress of planning a wedding, and I found myself listening to a number of fine rants on these people. The pan lids were eventually found, you'll be glad to know. We found this out by the demon-spawn yelling across the lawn at my parents, "Mom found the lids!" These people, by the way, didn't even bring up the possibility of paying Maureen for watching their house. They never thanked her in any way, actually. Nonetheless, they were invited to the wedding, because hey, you don't want to burn bridges with neighbors.

So the wedding day rolls around. Everything's beautiful, the ceremony's deeply touching, and Maureen is absolutely glowing with happiness. Cue the neighbors. The wife tells my mother that she doesn't have a gift for Maureen "per se". However, she and her family will be moving soon (Hallelujah!), and what she'll do is go through her kitchen stuff and give Maureen any "duplicates" of stuff she got at her wedding--six years ago! Isn't re-gifting tacky enough when the stuff is new and unused? Luckily, my mother is never at a loss for words. She tells the wife tactfully that no doubt Maureen and her new husband got plenty of brand-new kitchen stuff from others, and the gesture, though kind, will be unnecessary. We also decided Maureen doesn't ever need to know about the "offer". Tacky0511-03

A friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend after dating for only a month; however, they had known each other for 3 years, so it wasn't entirely sudden. She accepted happily. They set the date for only 5 months later, because it was "the month she wanted to get married in and [they] didn't want to wait a whole extra year for it to come around again". They then spent the next week registering for gifts - the registry I saw was over 10 pages long.

Three weeks later, she dumped him. Her first reason was that they "had some spiritual things to work out first, so let's postpone things". A few days later she told him the real reason: she never wanted to get married to him in the first place, but didn't want to "hurt his feelings". Hello???? As if accepting first, then telling him she never really loved him was any better???? I could possibly see accepting in the rush of the moment and then regretting it later, but I would think that sometime during the massive gift registration the idea would have occurred to her to mention her reservations. The real kicker is that she waited just long enough to tell him that the ring was outside the 30-day policy at the jewelers, and now he can't get his money back. UGH!    Tacky0523-03

When I changed jobs, I met "Lindsay." She was a lot of fun, but a bit wild for my tastes. We would go out drinking and pick up random guys at bars and clubs. It was the wildest time of my life though it was a bit tame for her. Imagine my surprise when I found out she was married! When she told me, she said that her husband was a brute - that he beat her and her children but she could not afford to move out. I offered her a place to stay and even offered to help support the children. I couldn't, then, understand why she would stay with such a man.

Several months after I met Lindsay, I finally met her husband, "Bill." Bill seemed very nice and friendly, though I still thought of him as the beast she described. However, when she went out of town for two weeks, she asked me to spend some time with Bill because he did not have many friends and would be lonely. I agreed. The one night we went out, we met up with another friend of his, "Drake." Drake and I hit it off immediately and once Lindsay returned to town, the four of us went out often. We even started spending holidays and long weekends together.

It didn't take long for me to question Lindsay's accusations of her husband. Drake and Bill were very good friends and neither of us ever witnessed any abusive tendencies from him. We did, however, start to notice erratic behavior in Lindsay. She would throw tantrums, scream at the children (or her husband or us) for no reason, and even hit Bill! She even confessed to me that she was having an affair with a man and the reason her "favorite pub" (where we went every time we went out) was her favorite because it was across the street from his business and he sometimes worked nights. She'd run out because she "left something in her car" but it would actually be to see him. A couple of times, I went out with her solo and we would end up driving past his house repeatedly or parked outside his place of business.

It took a while for me to finally tell her I no longer wanted to be a part of this and she said she understood, but was now aloof and cold to me and began trying to sabotage my relationship with Drake. He and I were very close, but she would pull us each aside, alone, and tell lies about the other. She told Drake I was trying to get pregnant so he would marry me; she told me that Drake called me fat and ugly when I wasn't around. There were several other stories she told, but I don't remember the bulk of them now. Drake and I both knew the stories she told were ridiculous and sat down and talked about it. I was reluctant, but Drake wanted to give her another chance. My only stipulation was that I did not want to go out with her unless it was the four of us.

A couple of years later, Drake and I moved in together and not long after that, Drake proposed. By that time, Lindsay was no longer working at my company. Lindsay and I only saw each other a couple of times though Drake and Bill were still friends. The final straw came when Drake asked Bill to be in the wedding party. I did not want Lindsay in the wedding party, but to soothe over any bad feelings she may have had, I asked her to help out at the reception and to sit with my family during the ceremony. She was obviously slighted by the omission of asking her to be Matron of Honor.

The next time I saw her was at the rehearsal where she sat in the hallway outside the chapel. She would neither talk to me nor respond when introduced to other members of the party. She sat silently, reading a book, and refused to look up when being spoken to by anyone other than Drake (including her own husband). After the rehearsal, she burst into a temper tantrum and refused to let Bill attend. We were worried she wouldn't let him be in the wedding! But the next day she attended the ceremony and hugged me in the receiving line saying congratulations. However, later on when opening the wedding presents, we came across the one from Bill. The card was signed by him and only him. This was the icing on the cake. Drake and I agreed that Lindsay was out of our lives for good.   Tacky0520-03

My husband and I went to our friends' wedding in March. The wedding was at a beautiful plantation house and since the weather was warm, they decided last minute to have the ceremony outside on the dramatic porch of the house in the light of sunset. During this beautiful solemn occasion, someone in a passing car decided to yell "Don't do it dude!" during the ceremony, while honking his car horn.    Tacky0605-03

Several years ago, I went to a wedding with my now ex-boyfriend. The groom was an old friend of my ex's whom I had only met once. We drove 5 hours to get there and stayed with the bride & groom the two nights before the wedding. My ex was the groom's best man.

I quickly realized that the groom's family was "different". His dad was drunk by noon and by 2 p.m., was making suggestive comments to me (I was 18 at the time). So ok-I dealt with it. After all, I didn't have to stay in the same house with this guy.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding. The groom's dad had promised to stay sober during the wedding ceremony. The ceremony ended up going ok. As we were leaving that to head to the reception, we saw the bride's family. No kidding-they were Amish. This was going to be an interesting reception. So, at the reception: It takes about two hours for the groom's family to get drunk. To make a long story short, the groom's dad ended up throwing cake at the walls and at the wedding guests towards the end of the night and again started commenting on my breasts-again. The bride's family just sat at their tables the entire time, obviously not having had any of the booze. Wow, am I glad I didn't end up marrying into that circle of friends.    Tacky0605-03

My own FATHER whom I am very close with, sent me an e-mail THE DAY AFTER to tell me he got married. My brother got an email 2 weeks later. Apparently, it was at the JOP, they stopped at the grocery store on the way there to get milk and bread, and my little brother was the only witness (at least he got to go!) They wore regular clothes (my dad in jeans) and they didn't even get any pictures to laugh at. And all this just a few months after my parents were divorced. I am NEVER going to let my dad forget this one, talk about etiquette hell! (Hello? At least tell your own daughter the DAY BEFORE).

I was back on your site reading again today and the stories reminded me of another incredibly tacky "friend" of mine. I worked with a girl I'll call "Jenny". While we only worked together for less than a year, we became pretty good friends. Jenny got engaged about three months after I met her. I was of course very excited for her and she told me all the details of her upcoming wedding. The firm we worked at was a small private one and everyone there was extremely generous when it came to weddings and babies. Needless to say, there were many showers and parties for her.

The first was a "monogram" party where everyone was to bring something with the bride-to-be's initials. Another friend and I went in on a beautiful monogrammed throw as a gift.

The next party was a "stock the bar" party for which I made a special trip to a wonderful winery near my hometown (three hours away from where we currently lived) in order to get a gift- I bought two bottles of wine, a pewter wine stopper, a corkscrew, and a basket in which to put everything. I had shared some of my wine from this winery with Jenny before and she knew well how far I traveled to get it for her for this special occasion. I did plan it during a visit to my parents, but it was still a good 45 minutes out of my way. I certainly didn't mind since she was a good friend. The next party was a lingerie one and just to be different, I bought her some expensive lingerie wash, several nice bags in which to wash delicate items, and a two pairs of expensive hosiery.

For a wedding gift I bought her a small decorative pewter clock that had a dolphin on it. Yes, I know it sounds tacky, but Jenny loved dolphins and knowing this, I purchased this expensive gift with her mind. She loved it and mentioned it to me several times. At the time I purchased all of these gifts, I was barely out of college and both Jenny, her fiancé, and our other coworkers made several times the amount I was making. Jenny's wedding was beautiful and was just as she dreamed it would be.

Another coworker and I went to the reception together, which was altogether another story. We got small plates of the appetizer food and sat down to wait for the wedding party. Within 30 minutes the reception hall had run out of food and was scrambling to thaw food from their freezer in order to cook it and serve it. Needless to say, this plan did not go well. I do not recall the exact time of the ceremony but by the time guests arrived at the reception everyone was hungry for dinner. It soon became apparent that no more food would be coming from the kitchen. By now we had been waiting well over an hour and still no sign of the wedding party. Finally, two hours after we had arrived at the reception, the wedding party arrived, but without the bride and groom!! They were another 45 minutes behind the rest of the party. My friend and I decided we would stay long enough to say congratulations, grab a piece of cake, and then we would leave.

Another hour goes by, and the cake has still not been cut. By this time, my friend and I are starving and really want to leave, but now it is almost a quest to get a piece of cake. I finally went out on the dance floor where the bride was dancing with her flower girls, and told her congratulations and that we had to go. She said, "Oh no, you have to wait 'til we cut the cake- it will just be a few minutes." At this point someone went to the microphone and began making the first of many speeches. I grabbed my friend and we left. Just to sum up, we stayed at this reception for 4 hours and never even got a piece of the wedding cake!

The follow-up to this story is that when I got engaged, I called Jenny to tell her. She immediately told me they had another wedding to attend on the same day, but wished me well. I sent her an invitation anyway, and she never even sent me a card or anything to acknowledge my wedding. After 4 nice gifts as well as 4 hours at her reception, she could have at least had the decency to send me a $.99 card from Hallmark. I think it goes without saying I have never heard a word from her since. The words Just Plain Tacky don't even begin to describe this one.    Tacky0602-03

You want to hear tacky... My older step-sister Patty decided that she wanted to get married to Billy even though she had only recently finalized her 1st divorce. So they decided that they wanted to have the reception at a Chinese restaurant. However what happened, was this: They got married and had there "reception" at this Chinese restaurant and everyone had to pay for their own meals!!! I know that they didn't have a lot of money but no-one warned us in advance that we would have to purchase our meals. They ordered a sheet cake from Winn-Dixie, and she wore a borrowed dress and shoes from a friend. Crazy thing is they were only married like 4 years and she decided that she was going to divorce him, and did. Now she has since decided to go back to him and get married again... ON THE SAME DATE AS BEFORE and they want to go back to the same place and get married there again.... Talk about TACKY!!!


I found the attached in the local newspaper, the Elk Grove Citizen. I
couldn't believe it! Here is the text in case you are unable to open the
attachment. Thanks for your site, I love it!

"Congratulations to Albert Lopez, Jr., and his new bride, Jennifer Ann
McNeal, who were married on February 13, 2003. Albert will be leaving
for Kuwait on Friday, February 14, 2003, leaving behind his new wife,
Jennifer, his son, Albert Richard, 17; his daughters, Cassandra, 17,
Brittany, 12, Heather, 11, and a new arrival, Hunter, expected on March
25, 2003. We wish you good luck in your new marriage, and a safe return
home. Your family loves you! tacky0520-03

I was married on June 7, 2003. For the year leading up to this I had been working for a small company and had decided to invite the whole office to the wedding ceremony and the bosses to my reception. About a week after I presented the invitations to the bosses (less than a month before the wedding), they called me in to tell me that the company no longer had the funds to support my job and that my last day would be two weeks from that day. The kicker here is that one of the bosses decided to come to the wedding. He brought a date and ordered filet mignon for both of them. We felt that that in itself was in bad taste, however, I had invited him and was therefore stuck with his choice to attend. The worst part about it - he showed up, ate his filet, ate the cake, had a great time.... and didn't even bring a gift.    Tacky0623-03

My tale of woe starts with my teenage sweetheart, F. It can't exactly be called the Wedding from Hell (you'll see why soon) but the preparations come pretty close. F was working from home in our hometown, where we were to be married, while I was working in another city 5 hours drive away. Because of this, we decided it would make more sense for F to make most of the arrangements (basic stuff like booking a hall, organizing a celebrant et al) and, since we're both young and from poor families, we'd split costs as equally as we could (unconventional, but necessary). One major expense was thankfully taken care of, since my Mam's wedding dress fit me and had come back more or less into fashion.

Fast forward to two months before the wedding. I've been working eighteen-hour days in my grueling out-of-town job, so I was only too thankful F was taking care of things, although I knew I'd better hurry up and get on with my side of the organizing - flowers, decorations, gifts for the bridesmaids etc. Then disaster strikes. F did a great job of getting the invitations out on time - but sent out the invites BEFORE confirming times and dates with the church and hall. Oh well, it's a small affair - it won't be the end of the world to ring around and apologize profusely for the time and venue change (and guess who got to do that?) I won't go into the complete absence of celebrant or any sort of music for the reception. He figured we could just tune the radio into Classic FM.

Six weeks before the wedding F decides there's no way he'll marry me in Mam's dress. He's set his heart on the big white dress, veil, train - the whole shebang and well and truly out of the question in six weeks!! I pointed out that style of dress is great on a slim white girl (which I'm not) but wouldn't suit me, or our budget! We didn't reach an agreement, and next day I discovered our mutual credit card was totally maxed out on much more expensive rings than the ones we'd settled on.

In the end, I needn't have bothered telling people about the time and venue change..... F dumped me a month before the wedding for taking a bellydance class without his permission. I figure I'm well out of it.      Tacky0704-03