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Here's a greedy story for you. Let's call her "Gwen". Gwen was on her 2nd marriage and already had 2 kids to 2 different fathers, yet a reborn Christian who told everyone else to do with their sex lives, and would pull stunts occasionally like pulling out a bible at some of my cocktail parties and sitting there and reading it for the benefit of everyone else, of course.

She met "Nathan" through me at a party that was thrown by somebody from my grad school. After about 3 months, Gwen and Nathan were engaged. Then Gwen decided that she'd have the reception at the Embassy Suites, since there are flowers in the courtyard and she wouldn't have to purchase any as a result. The reception food only consisted of finger foods and NO alcohol. And her bratty kids were running around and I was expected to watch them? Oh, I don't think so. I was the MOH, so can you blame me if I missed Bridezilla's bouquet toss so that I could get a drink with some of the other disgruntled guests? (I didn't think so) Gwen, of course, thought I was tacky for missing it, but (a.) I didn’t want to catch her bouquet and (b.) She was tacky for not treating her guests right.

It was a lunch time wedding so after the reception they went off to their hotel room to sow their wild oats (this was definitely a reborn Christian wedding that touted publicly "We waited to have sex" Right, tackballs) Then, later she and Nathan showed up at their house where me and the best man were waiting, expecting that we'd go to dinner with them since no dinner had been served at the reception. Well, Greedy Bridezilla (after announcing that she was sore in her groin region) had to open her gifts right then, as everyone else starved, and had the colossal nerve to exclaim, "Oh, this person got me the cheap version of Waterford Crystal. No class." (The way I saw it, she exchanged some cheap hors d'oeurves for a nice enough piece of crystal) Gwen and I are no longer friends, but I have many fond memories. ;)
Tacky 0818/03

I got married two years ago. We had a nice wedding with about 90 guests. Since we got lots of requests, we did register at a number of Registries.

One of my husband's college friends came with his fiancée to the wedding. They didn't give us a present at that time. About a month later, we ran into them at a coffee shop, and they mentioned that they still had our wedding present. I didn't think much about it, I really didn't feel that I needed any presents. About six months later, when we met them again by chance, they said their wedding present for us was in the trunk of their car. So they gave it to us. We thanked them graciously, all the while trying not to laugh.

The present was the freeze-dried bridal bouquet of someone else! It didn't resemble my bouquet in any way. And it was clearly a bridal bouquet, with white roses and gardenias. There was a little stick in it, with the note "Your Wedding Flowers." I was flabbergasted. I'm not sure what they were thinking. I did send them a thank you note, saying that I appreciated their presence at the wedding, and that they thought of us in picking out a present. I didn't manage to incorporate reference to their ghastly gift.

Tacky 0820/03

I recently attended a very bad wedding in Scotland.

Here's the setup for the bad event:

We had originally gone to Scotland for my boyfriend's sister's wedding (We'll call her Anna). Three weeks after this wedding, another wedding in the family took place. The bride of this wedding (Julia) did not get along with Anna.

So, here's what happened:

Anna and her husband received the invitation two days before the wedding. By hand. The RSVP said "Mum's kitchen" (that is where we were when the invitation was given). Nonetheless, Anna accepted and even bought them nice wine glasses (My boyfriend and I also bought them a set as well). Keep in mind that that the groom (who was a family member) and bride didn’t attend Anna's wedding, even though they said they would the day before Anna's wedding. At the dinner reception, Anna's placename setting still had her maiden name on it and was the only one handwritten. It was handwritten on the back of a waiter's check. My name was wrong (not spelled wrong, but the wrong name) and Anna's husband's name was wrong as well. Furthermore, the groom sat his brother in a corner at a table with all children. It was just incredibly tacky since the bride and groom invited Anna and her husband, but hadn't attended her wedding in the first place. They were all family! Furthermore, neither Anna nor I received thank you notes for the wine glasses.

Tacky 0827/03

When I was in high school, my father took up with a ... person ... I will call Bimbolita. She was nineteen at the time, two years older than I. She viewed my brother and me as direct competition for my father’s attention; we despised her because she was shallow, bigoted and about the most self-centered person imaginable. Bimbolita tried to convince my dad that I needed to be institutionalized for a nonexistent eating disorder (I am very slim, and she struggles with her weight,) and talked Pops into believing that my brother was a poor student, undeserving of help with college, despite his near-straight A average. And so on.

She moved in in September. We were pretty convinced that our dad would get sick of her eventually. But in January, when Dad and Bimbolita were out, my brother discovered a marriage certificate in Dad's sock drawer. They had been married at City Hall in November... and HADN'T TOLD US. We couldn't say anything, because Dad would have gotten het up that we had been snooping. (Bro had just been looking to borrow a pair of socks.) So we suffered in silence until Dad finally broke the news... in May. To this day, they still don't know that we knew that whole time. Bimbolita is still a ringtailed B-word, but she and Dad are still together... and she is very very relieved that I am married now, and no longer a threat. Ew. Tacky 0904/03

This was the first wedding I ever attended in England, and at the time I thought it had to be a British thing. I later attended other weddings in England and found out that the first one was NOT a 'British thing' but simply a lack of forethought for one's guests' comfort.

The bride and groom were living in the same large city that we were, along with most of their family and friends. Despite this, for some reason they held the wedding in the small town where the bride's parents had recently moved, about a 2 hours away by train. Because the wedding was so far away, we, and most of the guests, were staying in hotels for the night. We arrived at the hotel, and the bride and groom provided buses to take all the guests from the hotels to the wedding site (about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes away from the hotels) since many people are from the city (at least 50 people needed the bus) and don't have cars, and if they did, so they didn't have to worry about drinking and driving. I thought that was a nice gesture and very thoughtful.

The wedding ceremony started at 2, and lasted about 15 minutes. Dinner was not served till 4. There was literally nothing to do but buy and drink drinks from the cash bar while waiting nearly and hour and a half for dinner at 4 o'clock we were given a lovely sit down dinner. That lasted about an hour, maybe. Then, again, nothing to do. The DJ didn’t start till 8 o'clock at night! So for 3 hours after dinner, from about 5 till 8 o'clock, again, nothing to do! (But buy drinks from the cash bar.) The DJ played till 12, and at 12:15 AM the buses were scheduled to pick us all up and take us back to the hotels.

This was a TEN-HOUR wedding! Ceremony at 2, dinner at 4, DJ from 8 till 12. (Not to mention the 2-hour train ride we and most other guests took to get there that morning) And the worst part was that there was no way to leave early - we were in a strange town we didn't know; it was too far to walk. In hindsight we should have asked the reception staff for the phone number of a taxi service to take us to the hotel, feigning illness. I was so bored and sick of being there by around 10 o'clock, I wanted to scream! What on earth made these people schedule dinner for 4 hours? Why didn’t the DJ start an hour after dinner started? 10 hours is way too long for a wedding. People were starting to fall asleep in their chairs, literally. Not to mention, 10 hours is too long a time to drink alcohol continually, which some did. So those who were not half-asleep were completely, staggeringly drunk (and I guess, broke!)

By the time we got back to the hotel, my husband and I had the best night’s sleep we have ever had, we were so exhausted.

Tacky 0914/03

"Sarah" got married just before joining a company I used to work at, so I don't know the circumstances of the wedding, but I do know she didn't have a reception, because she had one about 3 months later. She invited all her new co-workers to a formal afternoon garden party. This was a small, close-knit Silicon Valley company; we wanted make the new person fee welcome, so we all went. Sarah was originally from the Central Valley - think West Texas - but had been working in Silicon Valley for several years.

Well, while all the people from my company - and Sarah herself - were dressed for a formal afternoon garden party (tea length dresses and suits, in an industry where CEOs wear jeans and turtlenecks, so you know we made the effort), every one of her family members was in what I can only describe as formal rodeo wear - nice new jeans, nice fringed shirts, big belt buckles. It was obvious they'd dressed up, and equally obvious they hadn't dressed up for the same kind of event as we had. The two groups never mingled.

At the time this happened, we thought it was a faux pas, but as we got to know the bride better, we realized it was probably intentional - she could've had a less formal event with everyone in jeans, but she wanted to "show off" her new "classy" friends to her hick relatives.

(By the time she quit 2 years later my private nickname for her was "psycho Sarah" - we should've known something was up when she didn't have a single friend from the company she'd just left at her reception.)    Tacky 0914/03

Of all the wonderful stories on your site I have never seen anything like this. At my wedding my older sister, who was a bit jealous that I was getting married before her, pulled quite a number of stunts to grab attention (minor annoyances). This, however, takes the cake.

At the bouquet toss my sister caught the bouquet (by pre-arrangement). Her boyfriend was supposed to get the garter, but he refused to go up for the toss at the last minute. He was a weird sort of guy, so the sudden reluctance was not a surprise. In any case, a friend of my husband caught the garter.

When he went to put the garter on my sister she just about flipped her gown over her head. The kicker - she wasn't wearing underwear. Just stockings with a cut away crotch. The poor (shy) friend with the garter didn't know where to look, he was SO embarrassed, and the hall just about tilted with the weight of the guys running to get a better look at the free peep show.

To this day my parents, who didn't catch the show because sis's back was to them, say how she livened up the whole thing. I just tell them "you'll never know how much!"

Tacky 0919/03

Hi, I'm not an etiquette expert, but I think this might be one for the tacky files on your site. Since I've been "pre-engaged" to my longtime boyfriend for a while now (just waiting for him to finish college), I enjoy reading about other people's wedding experiences to get ideas and tips for our eventual nuptials. There is a rather popular wedding-related message board I used to frequent a couple of years ago. Almost all of the posters there are brides, and they post on a myriad of wedding-related topics. Anyway, one of the recent brides on this board was a very pretty young woman -- I think she was only 22 -- who apparently was from a well-to-do family. She had just had an evening seaside wedding in South Florida with over 300 guests and a very extravagant reception. She mentioned in her posts that her parents paid for all of it, and also that she and her new husband had received over $10K in cash gifts alone(!). Here's where the tackiness comes in. Now, I realize that skipping out on a wedding you have RSVP'd for is very bad etiquette. After all, you end up making whoever is hosting the wedding pay for a catered meal that you didn't eat, and I'm sure that the dinner served at this young woman's wedding was very pricey. 

But get this -- after the wedding, this woman and her parents sent nasty cards to all of the guests who had RSVP'd and not shown up. The cards said something like, "Your already-paid-for wedding dinner ended up in the trash. Too bad you weren't there to enjoy it. What happened?" The cards were basically to make the missing guests feel duly ashamed and chastised for not skipping out on the wedding. Now, I'm no etiquette maven, but I think it's very tacky to send a card for the express purpose of making someone feel badly, even if what the person did was rude. And some of the guests could have had last-minute emergencies that forced them to miss the wedding -- who knows? And it's not as if this girl or her parents were hurting for money.

Tacky 0917/03

Ok so looking back on it, this was kind of amusing. My husband and I had met this couple through a mutual friend. The young lady was living with her intended at his parents’ house when she got pregnant. The young man's grandmother insisted they marry so the child wouldn't be born out of wedlock. My husband and I and the mutual friends didn't necessarily agree with this practice (the couple was not ready to start a family but held our tongues and figured they wouldn't listen to us and maybe it really wasn't our business anyway)

Anyway, both my husband and the mutual friend were United States Marines. The bride had asked both of them to be in the ceremony as groomsmen and wear their blues, the nicest uniform of the Corps. Luckily they both already had them (it's not a standard issue uniform and is on the pricey side), they just needed to be tailored. Then we found out my husband could be an usher but could not stand up with the rest of the party because there were more groomsmen than there were bridesmaids, but the bride didn't want one more bridesmaid. The other Marine's wife and I were not asked to be in the wedding. Fine, I had a small infant who I would have to sit in the audience with anyway. No biggie.

The bride's maid of honor lived about 2 hours away and couldn't help with the little things a maid of honor usually does, from what little I knew (I eloped). Not to mention this MOH was terribly flaky. She would wait till a few hours beforehand to call about missing an important event (shower, bacholorette party she didn't even plan). Most of the MOH duties were given to the other marine wife and I. I didn't have too much of a problem with it, although I couldn't understand why she was friends with this girl in the first place. We planned the bacholorette party and sympathetically rubbed the bride's back when she was in tears cause neither her one bridesmaid or her MOH showed to her bacholorette party and the MOH didn't show up to the shower. She "fired" the MOH, moving the other girl up to MOH (still someone who lived too far away to do any MOH stuff) and instated me as a bridesmaid which meant we'd have to find a dress for me as I was not "Tiny enough" to fit in the dress they bought the former MOH without finding out if it even fit her. Then because someone other than me pointed out that my husband was having to dress in a particularly uncomfortable uniform only to sit out of the bridal party, yet be an usher, the bride begrudgingly asked the other marine wife to be in the wedding so the party could actually be even on both sides. The other marine wife was on the heavier side and had a hard time finding a dress to go with the color scheme (you try finding a springy lavender sundress in a plus side in September). She did find one the day of the wedding however.

The wedding for the most part went off pretty well despite the fact that the singer forgot a part of equipment, the groom's grandmother got very upset that no one was interested in how she thought the wedding should go (which was actually how most weddings go, from what I understood of her plans) and even though (from what I know of weddings) the MOH is usually the bride's gopher, she sat on her behind while I played fetch. Then the couple decided to open their gifts at the end of the ceremony after just about all but the family and bridal party had left. The bride was pretty upset that she got very little of what she'd registered for and sniffed at the anniversary candle my husband and I bought for them, a sentiment we enjoyed from my own mother in law. She didn't understand that we didn't have much money and didn't see the sense in buying her a nice set of pots and pans when she didn't cook and they were living with his parents.

Tacky 0927/03

My aunt "Jane" is in her late 40s, has one child (age 10) and was married to this child’s father for about 20 years. Well, Jane decides to divorce the dad, and she does amidst much drama. Child custody disputes, etc. follow. Whatever. About a year after her divorce, Jane starts to date Don. Don is from a large Greek family somewhere in New Jersey. He seems perfectly nice, if somewhat quiet. He carries a sword on occasion as an accessory. He has not struck anyone with it, as far as I know, so I don’t really care about that. It is just kind of interesting.

Jan and Don decide to marry, and proceed to do so in this order: 1) they buy a house; 2) they get married, but tell no one; 3) they begin to plan a huge wedding. They got married first because her family lawyer was concerned about how it would look for custody purposes for Jane (and the 10 year old) to be living with Don if they were not married. This is understandable. The thing is, they do not tell anyone for several months (all this time planning a wedding) and to this day they have not told his parents.

My mother is Jane’s older sister, and my other aunt (Sally) is Jane’s younger sister. Jane requested they be her bridesmaids. Seeing as Jane has already been married, is in her forties, and my mother and Sally are in their 50s and 30s, respectively, I think this is somewhat tacky. My mother thinks it is very tacky but decides to keep her mouth shut. Jane then expects her bridesmaids to throw a shower for her. Mother and I have two huge problems with this. First, Jane was married for a long time, she has everything she needs. She is not setting up a home. Second, it is totally unacceptable for someone in your family to throw you a shower. Lots of people try to justify doing this for many reasons, but I don’t buy any of that. Mother suggests to Jane they have a Tea, and specify "no gifts" on the invitations. Jane will not have that. So . . . my proper, southern mother throws a wedding shower for her sister. Dear god. It gets better.

I get my invitation for Jane’s wedding. It is actually very nice, simple, and traditional, until I realize that it is worded such that my dead grandfather appears to be requesting the honor of my presence at the "marriage" of his daughter. I don’t care how little you care about etiquette - even if you think it is OK to throw a family member a shower (which it is NOT) I think everyone can agree that this is over the line.

I call my mother to prepare her for the invitation. She is in denial. She says, "Oh my. Well, I’m sure he is (requesting the honor of our presence)." OK.

Aside from the dead grandfather as "host" is the fact that Jane and Don are paying for this wedding and hosting it - not my grandmother (who is alive) and certainly not her dead husband. Jane is also having someone "give her away" - not just walk her down the aisle, but actually answer "her mother and I do" to "who gives this woman." It is not appropriate for anyone to give you away unless you are theirs to give - that is, they have been responsible for your well being in some way. Jane has been responsible for herself for several decades. It is completely inappropriate that someone "give" her away.

She is also wearing white. You can get away with wearing white at a first wedding if you have no children and that is it. Otherwise, wear pink, blue, beige, anything, but please, in the name of all that is holy, do not wear white.

I realize not everyone will agree with me that all of this is tacky, but I guess the point is that my views here are the views Jane grew up with as well, and she is offending everyone and making everyone do these tacky things. It is too tacky.

Tacky 0930/03

After giving her long time boyfriend the "marry me or we're through" ultimatum, Carolyn and Stan set their wedding date for 18 months later. The planning went well, with no major hitches.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding. The ceremony and reception were being held in one ballroom of a local hotel. My DH and I show up about 20 mins. Early, only to end up standing in a hallway with the rest of the guests wondering what was going on, where was the ceremony being held since the only room we saw was obviously a half set-up reception. The wedding party had their photos done before the ceremony and about 3 mins. before the appointed time, they showed up at the hotel. Finally, guests were led into the area where the ceremony was being held and the ceremony began about 10 mins. later. Unfortunately, my DH and I had a hard time hearing the ceremony due to some idiots behind us making comments about how awful weddings are and that the only good thing about them is the free booze. More on that later.

After the ceremony, the guests filed out and given no indication when the reception would be starting or where to go, those guests who weren't immediate family (about 80 people) ended up standing in the hotel hallway again, with no seating for those guests unable to stand long periods of time, while the hotel staff finished setting up the reception hall. Eventually, the hotel staff brought some chairs for people to sit on. The bride and groom were off taking pictures with family.

After the guests were standing around for an hour, unsure of what was happening since no one seemed to know, the cash bar opened and first in line (after making a beeline from the hotel bar) were the complaining uncles wanting alcohol and refusing to pay for it. Eventually they did pay and were off and running.

Finally, a total of 2 hours after the ceremony was done, the wedding party and the families showed up and the reception hall was opened. The hotel staff refused to open the room any sooner, as their instructions were to wait for the bride and groom to show up first.

When the guests were seated, the hotel staff then started to pour the peach flavored wine (the cheapest you can find - I know cause I buy it once in a while just for the sake of having a glass). Well, this wasn't good enough for the drunk uncle’s table (which we had the misfortune to sit beside). Drunk uncle #1 insisted the waiter bring an expensive red wine. As the waiter tried to explain that he only had available what the bride and groom supplied, drunk uncle #2 started loudly insulting the waiting staff. I don't know if they got the wine they wanted because they left immediately after dinner.

Thankfully, the wedding was an overall successful, however a good friend of ours who also attended the wedding still complains about the 2 hour standing around time, she has very bad feet and cannot staff for more than 20 minutes at a time. I am sure it is bad etiquette to leave guests standing around for 2 hours and no idea of what was happening.

Tacky 1002/03

My cousin, we'll call her Mary, got married a few years ago to the son of a Baptist minister. Our entire family is German-Irish Catholic, and my cousin was raised this way as well. However, she experienced a "born-again" phase, and ended up converting. I ascribe this to a perceived need to "atone" for both her (as well as her family's) "sins". In my experience, simply being a Catholic is enough to earn a one-way ticket to the lowest levels of Hades. The wedding was a Baptist wedding, with a very large congregation in attendance (due to the fact that she was marrying the minister's son, and the fact that our family is quite large). The fact that a large number of Catholics were in attendance was not lost on the Baptists. Nothing better than a captive audience, right? Although the wedding was, in essence, a nice celebration of the union of these two souls, the groom’s brother began the service by preaching about their faith, and encouraging anyone who might not be at peace with God (read: every Catholic in the place) to approach either the groom, bride, himself, or anyone else involved with the church and they would be happy to give them literature and discuss their faith. This plea was repeated at the end of the service as well.

To make matters worse (or, at the very least, to make my mother practically LIVID - something that very rarely happens), throughout the service, the minister (and others who participated in the service) repeatedly referred to the fact that "Mary" had been "saved" and was, therefore, guaranteed a speedpass through the pearly gates. Yes, she could find solace in the fact that she'd be standing on Jesus' right hand side on Judgment Day, while we Catholics would be busy dodging pitchforks and sweating profusely in Hades. "You're going to be OK, Mary, but the rest of your family will fit nicely into that handbasket, destination: Hell."

I am a firm believer in "to each his own". However, this insistence on using what SHOULD be the celebration of two people's lives together as a vehicle to remind almost HALF of the congregation that they were assured of an afterlife of pain and suffering if they didn't convert immediately following the ceremony strikes me as, at the very least, RUDE.
Tacky 1029/03

This story comes to you straight from the bridal shop, as witnessed by several *stunned* bridal consultants. I've been in the business now for 13 years, and this is by far the tackiest wedding I have ever heard of.

The bride, age 16, was 4 months pregnant with her 4th child. Yes, you read that right. Her FOURTH child. Each has a different father. She had the first at age 12. (Sad, but true. Her mother condoned her child having sex in her home). The groom was a 17-year-old high school dropout with two other children in addition to the one that was on the way.

The bride and her mother came to our salon in search of a wedding dress. The cost was way out of their budget, so I found a bridal gown that had once been purchased by a woman who had cancelled her wedding. I called the gown's owner, and she agreed to sell this young lady her gown for only $150.00 (A great deal for a $1,000 gown!). Out of kindness, the storeowner agreed to have the gown altered by our in-house seamstress free of charge. I had been married myself just weeks before, so I gave the girl my slip, shoes, jewelry, and veil. She was set to get married!

In the course of our conversations with the bride, we learned that her wedding was planned as the following:

"The weddin' will take place at 9PM on Saturday, after the bride comes home from a school field trip. Her bus gets in at 8:50 PM" (She literally had 10 minutes to get ready)

"The reception will be a kegger in the field behind the trailer court. We're having a bonfire."

We thought this was a joke! We learned it wasn't when the bride bought the dress back to us the following Monday, demanding a refund. It appears that she rolled in MUD during her kegger reception behind the trailer court. The gown was ruined. She was upset because her gown was unrepairable, yet it was her fault. Apparently she felt that bridal gowns should be stain-resistant.

Unfortunately, several days later her mother reversed the $150.00 charge to her credit card for the gown. The bride kept the ruined gown, and essentially got it for free.

As you probably know, the bridal business is a small world. Most of the local storeowners know each other. This tacky wedding took place in 1998. The bride recently turned up at another local salon in 2003 to buy her THIRD wedding gown. (It is unknown where she purchased #2). My advice to her this time? Spray your gown with Teflon coating lol! (Just kidding....not a good idea! Don’t do this!!!)

Tacky 1222/03