Vendornistas
They're armed, they're
unprofessional and they're going to ruin your wedding day if you aren't careful.
(And stories of victimized vendors.)
Jan-Jun 2000
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Jun-Dec 2000 Archive
2000 Archive
2001 Archive
2002 Archive
Jan-Jul 2003 Archive
I recently attended my father's wedding. This was his
third marriage and my new stepmother's second. Because of that, they chose
to have a very small affair with just close family, and to throw a
subsequent party for all of their friends to celebrate. My fiancé and I
were pleased to attend the ceremony.
The ceremony was to be held at a church a short distance
from the bride’s parent’s home, and a short reception for those in
attendance would be held at their home following the ceremony. Everyone
gathered informally at my stepmother’s parent's home and my stepmother
and my father got dressed and we all traveled together to the church.
We arrived to find the doors locked, and no sign of the
minister who was to marry my father. Everyone talked amongst themselves as
we waited patiently, sure he would appear any minute. After about ten
minutes people began drifting back into their cars, as it was a very warm
summer afternoon. After another ten minutes, my soon to be stepmother
borrowed a cell phone and called the church secretary. The church
secretary got in touch with the minister’s wife, and the minister called
ten minutes later to say he was on his way. Fortunately, he lived nearby
and arrived ten minutes after his call, in all, he was forty minutes late.
He explained to us that he had forgotten to inform his
wife that he would be performing a wedding and had himself forgotten and
fallen asleep on his couch. I think he was rather a forgetful man overall.
He forgot my father’s name and had to be reminded of my stepmother's
name as well. He also had forgotten which home the reception was to be
held in; he arrived late to the reception and informed everyone that he
had mistakenly gone to the house across the street, much to those
homeowner's surprise. Vendors
0813/03
My favorite musicians and I do historic re-enactments,
and we’ve performed a plain ol' dance at one event for the past couple
of years. This year the organizer and his fiancée are getting married at
the event, and the dance will be their wedding reception.
Trouble is, they forgot to tell us of the moved-up time
frame. They want my buddies to play music for the wedding ceremony, which
takes place in the same area but about 90 minutes earlier. What if we'd
arrived at 6:30 to set up for the 7:30 gig?
Fortunately (!!) I visited the event website, and
mentioned to my fiddle player about playing for the wedding. It was news
to him. (Fortunately this is still a month off, so we have time to get
things squared away.) Moral: get a contract. In writing. Whether you are
the provider of talent or the happy recipient of same. Do not assume
anything!
Vendors 0821/03
Recently I went to a wedding held at a beautifully
restored mansion that did weddings and private parties. The bride and
groom obviously had invited more than the place could comfortably fit
because after dinner (but before cake or coffee) a very cross waitress
came up to the table I was sitting at (along with about ten other people
including the brides aunt and uncle) and informed us we had to move
because the table had to be moved so they could make a dance floor. There
was no other table for us to sit at so I had to eat my cake and drink my
coffee in my lap, in a folding chair against the wall, which is where they
placed us. I left soon after, and wished I hadn't even been invited,
because obviously they had no room for me!
Vendors 0831/03
When looking for a DJ for my wedding, I acted on glowing
reviews from several brides in my city and interviewed (and hired) the DJ
that they suggested. I had heard story after story about how this man and
his associates were the height of professionalism and did a fantastic job.
On the day of our wedding, the DJ's equipment cut out
several times during the first dance, my dance with my father, and then
didn't play the one song that was most important to us (it wasn't a good
"first dance" song) - because he was afraid that if he changed
the CD that was in his equipment, the equipment would quit on him. He said
that another one of his DJs had used it before him and apparently hadn't
charged it well enough.
Other than this, the DJ did a pretty good job.
Vendors 0906/03
When my now-husband and I became engaged, we faced a
very difficult decision. Our respective families live more than 2000 miles
apart - we realized whichever locale we chose was going to make for
hardships for one side of the family. After much agonizing, we chose to
have the wedding in my hometown, where my family’s floral business has
helped to forge many invaluable contacts among wedding vendors. Everything
went off beautifully - the first time around. Upon hearing that we were
having the wedding out-of-town, my future in-laws graciously offered to
host a second reception after we returned from our honeymoon. This way,
those relatives who found it too burdensome to travel to the event would
not miss out on all of the festivities. We returned from our honeymoon and
barely had time to catch our breath before the next event arrived. Given
the whirlwind of activity and travel leading up to the wedding, we did not
have the chance to meet the DJ until we arrived at the reception. We
sought her out to give her a CD and our very simple instructions. Neither
I nor my husband are "love-the-spotlight" sort of people. My
husband is, in fact, quite painfully shy, and our first reception catered
to this. Thus, we asked her to simply be sure to play our wedding song and
two others that had special meaning for us at some point during the day.
We asked that there be no announcements or singling-out. She nodded
vigorously and purported to understand completely. Things were going
swimmingly. I was making conversation with some distant relatives of my
husband's when the DJ's voice, requesting my presence at the front of the
room, cut crisply through the air. I looked up in shock to see my husband,
one arm firmly trapped in the DJ's grasp, gesturing frantically towards me
with his free hand. I made my way up there only to have the DJ chirp out
that it was time for a special dance for the new bride and groom. The
horror I felt paled in comparison to that on my husband’s face. Unable
to think of any other graceful response, we trooped obediently to the
center of the dance floor and waited for the familiar strains of our
wedding song. Instead, the beginning bars of "The Rose" tinkled
through the speakers ("Some say love, it is a river..."). I have
never liked this song, certainly did not request its cloying presence at
the reception, but wait...is SHE singing it?!?! Yes, the DJ herself was
crooning out the lyrics. Not knowing what else to do, we swayed
uncomfortably while our friends, well aware of our proclivities, snapped
pictures and muffled laughs. The best (worst) part? At the point in the
song in which the original lyrics read, "I say love, it is a
flower," she put in our names, "I say love, it's Todd and
Julie." The pictures developed later are priceless - my husband’s
flushed cheeks, the anger in my eyes. We've discussed it at length in the
months following and have drawn the conclusion that this must be something
she does at every wedding reception she plays (given that the syllables in
the names work out, I suppose), regardless of the brides' and grooms'
specific wishes and instructions. Oh and our REAL songs that we gave her
ahead of time? Never heard them. Vendors 0911/03
Unfortunately all of these vendors from hell stories
took place in one wedding, my sister's.
1). Wedding dress: We went to a reputable boutique in our area. My sister
is a traditional sort of woman, who likes classic A-line dresses. She had
a general style she wanted, and a price she wanted to pay for it. The
saleswoman started out being very helpful, showing my sister various
dresses in the style my sister described. Then, the saleswoman suddenly
clapped her hands.
"I have just the dress for you. We got it early
this week! It is beautiful! I'll go get it".
She returned with a dress that was so far off the mark
of what my sister wanted, we could only stare in amazement. I won't
describe it for fear of offending anyone who likes this style, but suffice
it to say, it was not my sister's style at all. The saleswoman INSISTED my
sister try it on, which she did reluctantly.
"Oh, it's just beautiful on you!" the
saleswoman cried, "This is your dress!".
My sister took it off, and politely stated that though
the dress was beautiful, it was not for her (not too mention it was about
$1000 out of her budget). Somehow this salesperson took offense and
refused to help my sister for the rest of her visit. Just walked away, and
didn't come back. Twice I had to ask this woman where something was, and
she acted like I just asked to move Earth from one corner of the universe
to another. It was ridiculous. We left the boutique soon after.
End note: Unfortunately this was the only store in the
area that carried the dress my sister fell in love with. She did go back,
but made it clear she did not want the original saleslady helping her and
stated why. To the store's credit, they were very apologetic. But the
original saleswoman was there when my sister made her return visit, and
glared at my sister the entire time.
2). Bridesmaids dresses: We went to a different boutique
for these. The woman took my measurements and declared I would need a size
20 dress. Now, I'm not stranger to being an attendant in a wedding, and I
do know most attendants dresses run in junior sizes (for no fathomable
reason I can think of, since most attendants are grown women), but a size
20! I'm a 12 normally. She also insisted, to the point where she would not
order my dress, that I needed "extra length". I am 5'7" for
goshsakes! I really wanted to make a stink, but for my sister's sake, I
kept my temper in check. Of course, it cost me an extra $25 for the
"larger size" and $50 for the extra length.
The dresses came in, and you guessed it. It was WAY TOO
BIG, and WAY TOO LONG. And, of course, it had to be drastically altered to
the tune of $120. And no matter how hard I bitched, they refused to issue
any sort of credit for either the dress or the alterations, stating they
ordered it according to the size chart. Riiiiggghhhhtttt. This bridal shop
is no longer in business.
Geez...I wonder why....
3). The photographer: He did beautiful work but was very
unprofessional in regards to appointment times. He was 1/2 hour late from
the appointed time the day of the wedding, forcing us to scramble to get
dressed for pictures. He stood my sister and FBIL up several times during
the pre-wedding meetings. And afterwards, it took well over a year for
them to get their reprints and wedding album.
4). D.J.: This guy was a jackass. My other sister and I
had prepared a funny, but touching speech to be read after the best man's
toast. We told the D.J. ahead of time that we wanted to read this speech.
He said, fine, he would announce us after the toast. Well, the toast came
and went, and he never announced us! Just went on to something else.
We went to him later, inquiring why he didn't announce
us. His answer stunned us.
"Well, I didn't think it was that important. I
mean, everyone really wants to hear the best man's toast anyway. That's
really the highlight of the evening." And to think, I've been to so
many weddings, and have never considered the best man's toast to be the
highlight of the evening, above even the cake-cutting and first dance.
Silly me...
He also did not honor several requests my sister made
for music selection, only honored my FBIL's. He only played requests taken
by male wedding guests and none by the female guests. Can you say
"misogynist"? Too bad for him. I'm currently looking for a D.J.
for my upcoming reception, and he certainly will not be it.
5). Reception hall: It was beautiful. The staff was
wonderful, or so we thought, until the following morning, when my other
sister discovered $205 missing from her purse. Now, some of your may be
wondering why she was carrying that much money to begin with, and I
certainly agree. If I had known that, I would've made sure she left it in
a safe place. Though my sister made several phone calls, the management of
said hall denied any responsibility. My sister then called the police. She
later found out that a member of their staff was a suspected thief. The
hall had several instances of guest money and even wedding presents
disappearing whenever this person worked. But they refused to fire this
person, stating they were a "good worker" otherwise, and no
concrete proof existed of this person actually stealing anything.
Gosh, don't you think, if several people have complained
of theft, and you have a suspect, that you would do some kind of
surveillance on this person? Unbelievable.
With weddings being such big business, and the
competition being rather fierce, I would think businesses in this type of
industry would go out of their way to ensure the couple has nothing but
good things to say about their organization.
But despite these pesky vendors, my sister's wedding was
beautiful, she had perfect weather, and three years later, she is still
happily married, with a baby on the way. And in the end, that's all that
really counts.
Vendors 1007/03
I was the maid of honor for my close friends wedding a
few years ago. Since her fiancé was from overseas and they didn’t want
much fuss, they decided to have a very small wedding with just her
immediate family and closest friends. They spent only about six weeks
organizing it and were having trouble finding a celebrant who was
available for the Saturday wedding. When they called X, they were
pleasantly surprised to find she was available and, after meeting with
her, decided to use her.
The lead up to the wedding was pretty smooth since it
was being held in a hotel and the reception would be lunch in the hotels
very classy buffet restaurant. The time of the wedding rolls around and
everyone is there except the celebrant. The bride is getting pretty
worried that she won’t turn up but everyone is relieved when she finally
does, 15 minutes late with no apology or explanation. (She later mumbled
something about being stuck in traffic, but since most of the guests were
coming from the same direction and all managed to turn up on time, it was
hard to believe!) There was no wedding party, as such, just me as MOH and
the bride’s brother as the other witness. While the bride and I were
waiting in the hotel room for the wedding to begin, X demanded that the
bride’s parents sign the marriage certificate as witnesses, which they
weren’t, and this was before the wedding had even taken place! This was
especially crucial since the groom would soon be applying for residency
and all documents had to be above board. She tried to give it back to them
with the wrong signatures whited out! So now we’re starting to have
serious doubts about this woman. During the ceremony, while the couple
faced the congregation, X kept loudly reprimanding me for not standing
directly behind the bride. I wanted to actually WITNESS the wedding, not
spend it looking at the back of the bride’s head! She also berated the
soft-spoken groom several times for not speaking loudly enough, even
though everyone could easily hear him.
After the ceremony we all relax with some cool drinks
(it was a stinking hot day) before lunch. X had stayed for a drink as well
along with the young man she brought with her who we assumed had driven
her there. It soon became obvious that while we wanted to move into the
restaurant, she had no intention of leaving. I have never heard of a
marriage celebrant expecting to stay for the reception, especially one
that they barely knew. For some reason she assumed she was invited to the
reception and had brought her friend along as well!!! It was a TINY
wedding, the bride didn’t even invite her grandparents and this virtual
stranger thought she was invited. The bride’s parents were great,
though, and quickly organized two extra places at the table to avoid a
scene. Well, X proceeded to monopolize conversation all through lunch
including making several comments that began with "if the maid of
honor had been doing her job properly…" which made me what to
scream, but, of course, I just ignored her as much as possible.
The couple had organized some beautiful candles as gifts
for the guests, and they had been placed on the table for them but of
course not for her, though it was obvious she assumed one was hers. This
was after she was already given a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a free
meal for herself and her "guest" and had, of course, been paid
for her services. If she’d gotten one then someone else would have
missed out. The bride’s mother put her foot down on this and ensured the
gifts went to the intended recipients. Then as lunch was winding down she
made one last trip to the buffet, which included lots of fresh seafood,
piled her plate high with prawns and then wrapped them all up in a cloth
napkin and announced she was taking them home to her cat. The bride and
groom were mortified! It would have been one thing (though still very
rude) if it had been a catered event, or if they had been leftovers, but
this was a buffet restaurant and she was basically stealing food from
them. As we were leaving she was standing outside the hotel waiting for a
cab and her friend was nowhere to be seen, it seems that he was just some
guy she invited along for a free meal and served no other purpose! I guess
the moral of the story is make sure you do your homework very well before
choosing a celebrant, and if they seem to be too good to be true, they
probably are!
Vendors 1013/03
As usual, I have been spending ALL of my time reading
the new updates on your wonderful site! It makes me appreciate my own
wedding all the more. My story concerns my wedding gown. I was living in
New Mexico when I was looking for a wedding dress for our Dallas wedding.
There weren't many options in New Mexico so I ended up looking through
magazines and online for dresses that I might like. I found one
particularly spectacular dress and called the company to find out where I
could see the dress. Nowhere in New Mexico, but as luck would have it, a
store in Dallas was expecting one any day. I sent my mom to the store to
see the dress and give me her opinion. At the store, Terry Costa, a well
known bridal and ball gown store, the saleslady told my mother that the
maker had run out of the material for this dress, there were 6 other
people who wanted this dress, and this was the last one they would be able
to get. It was a size 10 which seemed like fate since that was my size! My
mom called from the store, assured me that the dress was beautiful and
told me the whole, this is our only chance for this dress story. The
saleslady assured us that it was a true size 10 so my mom bought it on the
spot.
Fast forward to a month before the wedding. I was
getting a graduate degree at the time and couldn't travel to Dallas often.
But that didn't seem to be a problem because the dress was my size, right?
We thought it might have to be altered so we dragged the dress to a
seamstress. I put the dress on but noticed I couldn't zip it, at all. I
walked out of the dressing room and the seamstress gasped. She said there
was NO WAY the dress would ever fit. It was WAY too small! I immediately
burst into tears. I assumed I had somehow gained a bunch of weight. My mom
and I hopped in the car and hightailed it to a discount bridal gown store.
We started looking through the dresses when a saleswoman comes over to
help us. She asks me my size and I tell her the whole dress debacle. She
then tells me that wedding dresses, as a rule, come 2 sizes smaller than
normal dress sizes!!! I had no idea! I later called around to other stores
to make sure this was the case. I even called Terry Costa and asked about
the size thing. Yes, this was the hard and fast rule. I was lucky enough
to find a beautiful dress for the wedding that I realized was more
"me" than the other dress anyway. Meanwhile, we find out that
the Terry Costa saleswoman had lied to us about not being able to get
another dress. Of course, the store refused to take the dress back and
would not believe a word we said. They stuck by their employee and saddled
us with a $2500 dress that we could not use. Vendors 1013/03
I was amazed to read the story of the plus-sized girl in
story merchant205-03, because I had almost exactly the same experience
with a woman in a dress shop in the early 90's. I was shopping for a prom
dress, and wore, at the time, a size 10, although I have a large top and
some things had to be altered. The woman saw me walk in with my mother and
screeched - just like the woman in the story - "none of those will
fit you!", and proceeded to show me a baby blue "batwing"
dress, size 22, that my great-grandmother or QEII wouldn't have been
caught dead in. I just got mad and left. I should have reported her, like
the girl in the story. If she was the same evil person, maybe she would
have been fired sooner!
Vendors 1015/03
After I got engaged on New Year's 1999/2000, my college
roommate (my MOH) and another bridesmaid accompanied me on a
dress-shopping trip in the area I lived in. My MOH flew into town for the
occasion -- she was attending law school at the time and this was a huge
financial and time sacrifice for her to make the trip. I still love her
for coming out for that weekend.
We had a whirlwind weekend of small and large dress
shops, and went to a national off-the-rack chain (I am sure you know who I
mean) to try on styles in my size (size 4, nothing complicated) off the
rack to help narrow down the search. At David's, weirdly, we found THE
DRESS. I had not expected it. The dress was unlike anything I had ever
seen. It fit me perfectly, it fit my personal style. It was IT. (And then
it turned out to be on megasale!) I took the dress home and began planning
a ceremony around it. When I bought the dress, I made the appointment to
bring it back for the complementary 'check'. Since they sell off the rack,
they offer complementary fixes of loose beads, etc. I took the dress home
and made a note of every loose bead and sequin. The dress was in great
shape for a try-on store, but I was highly specific about the locations of
any little loose piece. My fiancé (now my dear husband and father of my
baby girl) took me back to the store to drop it off for the check/fixing.
I received a call when it was done. I went to the store, went back to the
tailoring area, and claimed my dress. I insisted on checking it out before
I took it.
Jeanne, the dress was a disaster. It looked like a cat
had slept on it. Covered in hair! It had ink stains all over it, more
loose beads... and it was torn. The bodice had organza overlay in parts,
and it was SHREDDED. I was in shock. I am normally a ‘tough chick’. I
let out a strangled scream of "you TORE my dress!" and burst
into hysterical tears. The dress wasn’t expensive, but it was MY DRESS.
I started yelling. That got their attention. The seamstress area was right
near the fitting rooms, and there were lots of brides getting fitted,
curious about why I was screaming and crying. They assured me the store
manager would order me a new dress. I ran from the store crying, in front
of lots of newly engaged women whom I can only hope chose to shop
elsewhere. I called the store manager on the next business day, and she
had no idea what I was talking about. Well, after a diatribe wherein I
threatened to call the BBB and the state attorney general's consumer
affairs office about their no-refund policy since they had DESTROYED MY
DRESS, she paid attention and said she would order me a new dress.
A few weeks later, I got a call saying the dress was in.
I went to the store to look at it. Turned out the idiot who called me had
no idea what she was talking about. There was no dress. I yelled that I
was getting a lawyer (an empty threat, since this was probably just a
small claims matter at best) and stormed out of the store. I heard
whispers of "lawyer???" from other women in the store.
The next day the manager called me and said that the new
dress had arrived and she personally investigated it and discovered that
the organza overlay was defective. "So since this is a special case,
I will refund your money." I informed her that the shenanigans of her
incompetent staff, and the fact that my gown had obviously been mishandled
on the first occasion had cost her the business of my bridesmaids as well.
Because of scheduling, I then had to go shopping for my
new dress all by myself. Thankfully, I found an amazing store with a
fantastic owner who personally helped me try on dresses, found things for
me in the store, and was just *super*. I wound up spending 6 times as much
on a completely different dress, which changed all my plans for the
bridesmaids, tuxes, and flowers. In a way I guess it was all lucky. My
dress was amazing, it was the perfect piece to plan around, I looked
great, etc. And I can't imagine getting married in anything other than the
gown I wound up with. But the whole experience was so traumatic I still
can't believe that the big national store put me through that. Vendors
1031/03
My, oh my, could I tell some tales about our tacky
wedding vendors. My husband and I got married on November 16, 2002. It was
his second wedding and my first, but his first wedding was very simple. I
decided that we’d have a fairly nice ceremony, so I planned our wedding
at a local college campus in the Shenandoah Valley. Many members of my
family either worked at or graduated from the college and quite a few of
them lived nearby.
Our first trouble came when I hired the organist, who
happened to be a friend of the family. She wanted $275 to play for the
ceremony, a fee that I thought was excessive, but I agreed to it because I
had heard that she was the best. She was also a snob. When I spoke to her
on the phone, she told me about her dinner parties and talked to me in a
very patronizing voice. I could tell that working with her would probably
be difficult. But I was planning to use simple hymns for our music—except
for the processional, which was a piece that she had never heard of,
"Highland Cathedral". We ended up having to hire a bagpiper to
play that piece with her and the organist seemed determined to talk me out
of using it. Of course, I was determined to use that piece of music and
for $275, I was going to get at least that much. She and the piper did a
beautiful job, but during the rehearsal, I thought my mom, who is a
professional organist, was going to wring her neck for flubbing the hymns.
And it did take the musicians awhile to get the processional right! At
first, it sounded like a traffic jam in New York City!
The florist was, by far, the most offensive of the
vendors, which was a pity because I had heard wonderful things about her
work (and she did do lovely work despite her disposition). We went to see
her in April, to find out what types of flowers were available in
November. She told us to make an appointment in September—meanwhile, she
would send us an email with samples of her work (they never came). I spent
days trying to arrange an appointment with her, but I could never get her
on the phone. Then the one time she called and missed me, she told my
husband it was my fault because I never made myself available for her
during the hour she said she would be able to call me (as if I had no
life). I was tempted to find another florist at that point and asked the
organist if she could recommend one, but the organist talked me into
giving the florist another chance because a lot of people had died and the
florist had been extremely busy with funerals. I decided to cut the
florist a break. So when my husband and I saw the florist in September, we
still weren’t quite sure what we wanted at the wedding because we still
didn’t know what was available. The florist told us that we should have
gone to a different florist and decided what we wanted before coming to
her! And I wondered to myself, "Why should we waste another florist’s
time when we’re paying you to do the job? If we’re going to talk to
another florist, we might as well hire that person." But the real
kicker was when she found out who our organist was and started to
criticize our choice! I wanted to tell the florist that the organist had
convinced us not to fire her for being so rude to us and that really, she
ought to stop being so critical! On our wedding day, the florist showed up
looking for me as I was trying to maneuver myself into the bathroom while
wearing my dress for a last minute pit stop. She wanted to know where the
cake chef was because the wait staff needed his cake moved and they didn’t
want to touch it. This happened thirty minutes before I walked down the
aisle! I told her, "I don’t know! You’re going to have to excuse
me!"
Our photographer was mostly great. The only thing she
did that was tacky was unfortunately really tasteless and it happened
right before my husband and I said our vows. My father-in-law hadn’t
eaten before the ceremony and we had soldiers serving as ushers. In an
effort to look as straight and proud as they did, my father-in-law tried
to stand up tall and locked his knees. He ended up fainting dead away just
before my husband and I were about to take our wedding vows. What did the
photographer do? She took pictures of the incident like a paparazzi! We
have several shots of my father-in-law passed out—and various relatives
crowded around him as he struggled to regain consciousness. There’s also
a great shot of me glaring at the photographer through my veil, which is
when she finally got the message that she should stop immortalizing the
embarrassing event!
Then, on the big day, the caterer missed our wedding
because she attended the big football game the school was playing against
its rival. She left her second-in-command in charge and he turned out to
be a real dud. Apparently, he didn’t handle business in the meticulous
and courteous way his boss did. We had brought twenty-four bottles of
champagne which we had been told we were allowed to bring. The assistant
manager told us that we’d have to serve it ourselves because we didn’t
purchase it through them. I found someone to help serve the champagne and
then we were told they’d serve it after all. But then they only opened
and served six bottles. We had hoped to make more available to our guests!
We still have champagne left from our wedding, one year later! At our
reception, we had to contend with a nasty waitress who rushed us through
everything! She and her co-workers were in such a hurry to get out of
there that my mother-in-law didn’t even get to say goodbye to my husband
and me because the waitress had ordered her to clean out the fridge of
champagne and wedding cake! And the caterer had told us that she would
pack a lunch for my husband and me, but of course that never happened. I
called and complained to the caterer the next business day, although had
sent us a very nice card apologizing for missing our reception (she must
have sent it beforehand). It was the first wedding reception she’d
missed in 14 years and she had felt bad about it. I told her that I didn’t
blame her for taking the day off, but that I hoped she’d have a talk
with her staff and remind them about the importance of other peoples’
wedding days!
The last tacky vendor we had to deal with was the court
clerk in the town where we got married. In our state, you have five days
to file your marriage license after the ceremony is performed. Our
minister, who had come in from Kentucky to do the ceremony, had put the
license in the mail directly after the ceremony. A couple of weeks after
the ceremony, we waited for a certified copy of our license to arrive so
that I could take care of some legal stuff. When it didn’t arrive, my
husband called the court clerk, who informed us that the document had
never arrived at the courthouse. My husband spoke to the court clerk
several times and he was told that there was nothing that could be done.
Legally, we weren’t married, but we were married enough that we couldn’t
go to another courthouse and have the ceremony performed again! Moreover,
because the documents had not arrived within the five-day window, even if
they arrived, the court wouldn’t honor them. My husband finally called
our minister, who spoke to the clerk and asked him to fax a copy of the
license to him. He signed it and mailed it back to the courthouse. My
husband was not convinced that the matter would be expedited, however, so
he contacted our state legislators—basically the court clerk’s bosses
to be sure that the matter wasn’t sat upon over the Thanksgiving
holiday. We later received a nasty letter from the clerk which had also
been sent to the legislators. It accused my husband of being rude and
abusive and the clerk took credit for coming up with the solution to the
problem (which he did not do). By the way, my husband is almost NEVER rude
and abusive. If the clerk wanted rude and abusive, he could have dealt
with me and I would have gladly shown him rude and abusive treatment!
Anyway, we were finally recognized as legally married on December 5, 2002,
almost three weeks after our wedding!
Despite all of the tacky vendors and the terrible
weather on our wedding day, we did have a lovely ceremony and we’re very
happily married after our first year. We fully expect to remain so for the
rest of our lives!
Vendors 1101/03
My husband and I had a several vendors with no sense of
timing.
Immediately following the ceremony, our videographer
elbowed his way to the front of the receiving line to inform me that the
sound system in the church hadn't worked properly - no one could hear the
minister and "the whole wedding video is ruined." Sadly, this
was true but there was nothing I could do about it at the time... except
burst into tears - which I did. Moral: Brides are very emotional -- bad
news can wait until tomorrow.
In the middle of dinner, the banquet manager pulled me
aside armed with a calculator and a thick file of papers. It seems we had
more guests than expected and he felt it was vital to renegotiate the
invoice right there on the spot.
Later in the night, my husband and I decided to say our
good-byes and head to the honeymoon suite. It was very romantic, everyone
gathered around for our last dance and threw flower petals as my husband
jokingly swept me up into his arms and carried me out of the ballroom. As
we left the room, we saw the DJ hurrying to catch up with us. We worried
that perhaps we'd forgotten to pay him or something. But instead he thinks
this would be an appropriate time to ask for career advice. "I
understand you guys work in the IT industry, I'm trying to get into that
too. Do you know anybody who's hiring?" It's been over a year and
this loser still e-mails my husband periodically to ask if he has any job
openings. Vendors
1103/03
This is pretty minor compared to MOST of the stories on
this site, but I was annoyed enough that I'll NEVER use this store for my
wedding!
I was MOH for a dear friend (1 of 6 attendants) and to
save money for all, she chose David's for our dresses, shoes and wraps.
Dress try-ons & orderings went ok - although they were out of most of
the styles/sizes I needed to try on. But when it came to the shoes - their
disorganization was incredible!
First, I went to try on the shoe style my friend
selected - one that came in wide widths which I needed. Of course, they
didn't have any of the wide sizes in stock. But after numerous inquiries
and lots of waiting, I was told they could get them from their other store
(about 45 minute drive away) within a week and would call me when they
come in. So a week goes by and I hear nothing. After a few days I call and
am told that the shoes are in.
A few days later I get to the store and NOBODY can find
these shoes. One salesperson tells me that they probably haven't come in
(so why did they tell me they WERE in over the phone???). Another tells me
that they NEVER get items from another store unless you pay for them - so
she doesn't know why they told me they could get them anyway! After 30
minutes or so of salespeople looking for the shoes, calling the other
store (which no longer had those sizes), and disappearing - I finally just
guesstimated my size and placed my order - thoroughly annoyed with their
lack of organization and professionalism.
The kicker is that a few weeks later, someone from the
store calls me and says they've been holding these shoes in the back for
me for weeks and am I ever going to come in and buy them?
Vendors 1106/03
I am in the "joyous" process of planning the
wedding of my future husband and myself. During this planning process,
some services were easy to reserve and not unreasonably priced. I used to
work as a DJ for weddings, so I have a roundabout idea of the goings-on
and all that is required. However, as my fiancé and I have discovered,
many vendors have every-day prices, and "wedding" prices.....
which are usually inflated from 5%-300%...In our case we're paying, so our
$$$$ means a lot to us (not that it wouldn't if our parents were
paying!!!!!)
Anyway, since our ceremony/reception would be held at
the same beautiful location and we could bring in any caterer as we
wished; soon after the engagement, we began caterer researching. Since we
are in the Washington DC/Metro area, we realized that many of our services
would be pricier than say in, Iowa. We also didn't want to work with
anybody who had cake cutting/corking fees and other expensive ridiculous
additions. So we researched and researched. We set our budget and went on
a search to get everything we wanted at the price we wanted.
After meeting with many caterers, it seemed the
"average" price range for this area was between $7000-$8500
price range for food/rentals/service of 100 people, we felt this was still
TOO HIGH for a one-day event (no alcohol or cake included), no matter how
nice their packages seemed. When I thought ALL hope was lost, I came upon
Mr. Deeds Catering (name changed to protect the livelihood of the hard
working employees of Mr. Deeds). Mr. Deeds advertised a dinner package
(Buffet OR sit down, no cake or alcohol, all the food including large
shrimp cocktail, filet mignon - YOU NAME IT) for $6500. This was also his
highest priced package for 100. My fiancé and I thought, "Wow! We
can do that!!! We can have everything in that package, at a superior
quality for less!!!!" We were wrong.
Mr. Deeds Catering called me one evening at home to set
up a tasting and appointment at our home to discuss the details of what we
wanted, so he could then have a proposal drafted. One of the first
questions they asked was, "What's your budget?" Normally I
prefer to ask this question (What's your average buffet meal PP cost? No
cake no alcohol for about 100 people?), just so I don't waste a vendor's
time in meeting with them and saying, "sorry! You’re waaaaayyyy out
of my price range" So, I put the question back at her. She refused to
answer. But we discussed what my fiancé and I wanted and that we were
impressed with the "dandelion package priced at $6500 for
everything" and we wanted to stay there price-wise and food/service
wise. We set an appointment for the next month.
The evening of the big-to-do with this caterer, my
fiancé was chanting, "I don't like this. Why does he want to come to
the house??? Hon, I don't think this is going to be in the price range we
want.... it’s going to be more, A LOT more, I can just feel it."
His instincts were right on. It's easy to get caught up in the fluff of
wedding planning. As Mr. Deeds spoke, he told us how he has trucks with
kitchens in them so the food is always fresh, how he only works with angus
beef, and so on. His pictures were beautiful too. Even my fiancé relaxed
a bit. We told him what we wanted, a harvest theme, fall menu. Everything
seasonal. No seafood, less hors d'oeuvres. He assured us we would fall
into the Dandelion package price range - maybe less because we weren't
having any fish/seafood and less appetizers. Anyway when he left our
house, my fiancé re-expressed his concern. "Hon, I don't like it.
Don't get your hopes up. If he comes in at $7000 (including everything +
tax) MAYBE we can make this a priority, but don't get your hopes up.
A week later the proposal arrived in the mail. Now
remember, he ADVERTISED $6500 including all wait staff, food, equipment
and tax based upon 100 people. When I opened it I nearly choked..... the
price had gone from $6500 - our original budgeted price range (the MAX
range) to.... $10,000 for 100 people for six hours of service two hors
d'oeuvres, chicken and beef. Needless to say, we were a wee disappointed.
We had hoped, but oh well. So, as a courtesy, I emailed the catering
service back the next day, saying, regretfully, we could not use them. It
was not a decision based on quality, but solely on price - for we would
have booked with them on the spot if the proposal was reasonable.
Mr. Deeds' assistant called me back an hour later,
hostile inquiring (and she sounded shocked we refused their
"deal") as to exactly why we couldn't work together. I told her
that their service was the MOST expensive proposal we had received. $10K
for food for one day - not even the whole day was preposterous. Now here
is where it gets "good."
She then began to belittle me. She asked if I had any
clue as to how much these events cost in the DC area. I told her
"YES" for we had received many proposals all in the $7-8500
range, and the reason we contacted them was because they advertised a
package of $6500 for everything. This assistant then told me that .... and
I love this ..... "We Are Not A CHEAP catering company, to expect a
package of $6500 for everything is unreasonable" Also, the reason why
the price jumped so high was due to the EXTRA rentals that were needed,
that Mr. Deeds should have informed us of, but didn't such as:....
sterling silver hors d'oeuvre trays, the truck rentals for the food,
tuxedo rentals for the staff, ensuring an English-only speaking staff (no,
I'm NOT kidding on this)...and the list of "incidentals" went on
and on. My fiancé thinks the visit to the house helped them decide upon
their pricing standards - for we may not be millionaires, but we aren't
close to the poor house either.
Needless to say, we did not do business with them. We
got everything we wanted PLUS some seafood for hors d'oeuvres for less
than 6K with a different company, and they treated us like clients, not
brain-dead weds-to-be. But it just stunk to go through that and to be
treated so rudely by a vendor, when we were upfront and honest with them
to begin with. Vendors 1222/03
Earlier this year my husband's Aunt was married for the
first time. Her husband was a widower, and as such they were entitled to
the full Catholic services. The day was beautiful, the bride was lovely in
her formal gown and everything went as well as could be hoped for. The
only problem was the Priest. It seems he was either unfamiliar with the
Bride and Groom, or only had one stock "marriage ceremony" which
he could not or would not change.
We sat though a very long sermon about Communist Russia
(?) and then were treated to an even longer sermon about the joys of
children and how they are the foundation of married life, the reason for
blessed unions and an admonishment to raise their future children in the
loving arms of the Church.
What made it such an uncomfortable sermon was that the
Groom was in his mid fifties and the Bride was 57! I'm not sure how many
children the Priest thought this post-menopausal lady was planning to
have, but it sure seemed to be a pointless waste of 20 minutes (that's
right he went on about having children for 20 MINUTES!) and a very
embarrassing moment for the family. You could hear the whispering all over
the church. Vendors
1224/03
While planning my wedding, I found a website specific to
my city that included a database of local vendors and different brides'
experiences with them. It was a great help, and I used it to hire my
photographer and my DJ. The photographer was the best hire I could have
possibly made. The DJ, well...
The first half of my reception was done by the president
of the company, the one who I had met with. His equipment lost power
during the first dance, as well as the father-daughter dance. About midway
through the reception, he pulled me aside to apologize, explaining that
the "associate" DJ who would be taking over the second half of
the reception hadn't charged the equipment. He also explained that we
wouldn't be getting the last dance we wanted (which was important, since
it was "our song"). Apparently, if the DJ changed CDs, the whole
setup would just quit on him, there was so little power left.
In spite of this, that DJ got people who I'd never think
would dance to get up and have fun. I viewed what had happened as minor,
and didn't stress about it too much. (I was too busy stressing about the
fact that the wedding planner that the reception site had promised us was
in the kitchen getting drunk. Thank God for our photographer, or else we
would have had no idea of what to do when.)
After the wedding, I posted my experience on the
aforementioned database (there was a rule that if you used the
information, you had to post your experiences, too). I was very honest. I
briefly mentioned the power problem, but gave a glowing review overall.
I got an email two days later from an EXTREMELY angry
DJ, saying that my post had led to 3 brides canceling and asking for their
deposits back. I responded, pointing out that I had given them the best
review possible and that what other brides did was out of my hands.
I ended up getting 4 emails in total. The first one I've
already mentioned; the second was to tell me that even more brides had
canceled on him because of me, and included a rant about how I MUST be
trying to ruin him. The third had him crying, threatening suicide and
accusing me of trying to starve his employees’ children, and the fourth
had expletives. I had to threaten him with a harassment charge to get him
to stop emailing me. Vendors
1228/03
A year ago you could have never told me that I would be
married today, but I am to the love of my life and all in all we had a
wonderful wedding. We wanted something smaller and I’ve always wanted to
get married in Vegas. So we rented out the chapel in the pyramid there and
everything was going well for 5 months of planning. That is, except for
the brides maids dress. Well I only had one bridesmaid so I figured that
it wouldn’t be that much trouble to find something that she loved and I
was cool with. I had the whole mind set, that I wasn’t wearing it so it
didn’t really matter what it looked like. My BM has very good taste
anyway. So we took a trip to David's (a major chain) and she found a
beautiful dress. We ordered it and everything was well. The dress came in
with plenty of time to spare so all was well. We went to go try it on and
the thing was 4 inches shorter on one side than the other. It wasn’t
supposed to be, it was a classic floor length dress, not some fashion
piece. So my BM went back to David's the following day to talk with the
seamstress. She wanted to take it up 5 inches all the way around. Ok, this
might have worked on most women but my BM is 5'11" and this would
have made the dress look like it just didn’t fit. SO they promised they
were going to express order a new dress. No problem, still plenty of time.
The dress was due in 1 week. I called after one week and it still wasn’t
there. I called after the second week and David's had the top but not the
skirt. Called the third week, they said that they had lost the order. I
calmly explained my experience with them and they over nighted the dress
over (just shows that the nicer you treat people the more you can get
done, you don’t have to be mean to make them do it right) so my future
MIL goes and gets the dress and mails it to my BM (she’s going to school
in another state) the BM gets it and guess what? The top has a stain on
it. A huge stain right in front. So I go back to David's and find a
manager right away. I’m done with this store, and everyone should be,
they have caused nothing but problems for everyone I know...and I actually
find a nice competent floor manager that over nights the dress top with a
free shipping sticker to my BM right away. The wedding was perfect my
husband is amazing, I have THE BEST in-laws in the face of the earth, but
I could never imagine having to buy more than one dress there. Thankfully
my dress came from somewhere else
Vendors 1001/03
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