Etiquette Hell = Where the ill-mannered deserve to go


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Bridal Showers

  • It was bad enough that the bride registered for her bridal shower. It was bad enough that she chose one of the most expensive stores in town. And it was bad enough that she pouted when she opened gifts that weren't on her registery.
  • But one guest, it appears, went to the fancy store to check out the registery and then went somewhere else to get the glasswear cheaper. Maybe she made a mistake. All I know is the bride held up one of the glasses to the light, AT THE SHOWER IN FRONT OF ALL THE GUESTS and announced "This is not my pattern!"

    All of this could even, perhaps, be forgiven, if the guest who had made the error was guessed it.....GRANDMA.

    • When I worked in the home fashion department (bed, bath, and kitchen supplies) of a large department store (in a small-to-mid sized town) I helped many people with wedding registry selections. Once a young couple had registered for a Ralph Lauren bed pattern that included a $750 comforter set, $300 sheet set, and towels that cost nearly $200 for a set of two (2 each of towel, hand towel, and washcloth). If this weren't bad enough, each invitee was given a copy of the registry with what they should buy. The bride's second cousin was chosen to purchase the $300 sheets!!! I wonder what her immediate family had to buy! And yes the cousin bought them...she said she felt guilty. My advice for all couples is "do as to others.....". Oh, and our store had a GREAT policy for bridal purchases. You couldn't get any cash what-so-ever for returns, only credits for items within the same department! It seemed to work very well!

    • I was invited to a shower and the mother of the bride enclosed a list of gifts she wants us to buy all registered at an expensive store. This is a bridal shower - not the wedding - and I very definitely didn't ask for ideas of what to get - the bride's mother just sent me the list and has been telling folks she wants to make sure everyone gets her daughter great stuff so she registered it all at an expensive store and gave us all lists of what to buy her from there.

      I'm unemployed and single. Even my detractors would call me generous but I hate feeling that money is being grabbed out of my hand. I don't appreciate this DEMAND for VERY EXPENSIVE gifts when I didn't even ask for ideas. And being unemployed I'd rather get something really nice at a less expensive store (that carries the same brands and quality but lower prices) etc. It is having the bride's' mother TELL me what to buy (and to make it expensive) that is galling me.

    • Just had to relay a story:

      A friend of my mother's was invited to a bridal shower hosted by the Mother of the Bride. The invitation said to send $25 to her and the arrangements would be made. It was held at restaurant and the $25 paid for the meal and the M.O.B. also used it to purchase and wrap all the gifts. The surprise wasn't on the bride to be, but on the guests who finally got to see what they paid for. Gee, I guess the bride got exactly what she wanted!!

      Can you believe this???

    • I just can't resist posting this story!

      This weekend, one of my friends from college was throwing a bridal shower for another mutual friend who is getting married in November. Since I was out of town, I was unable to attend.

      Yesterday, I got an email from a friend who did attend the shower and she told me the ghastly news. This is how it went:

      When the invitations were mailed, they were explicitly marked "No gifts please." Since I (and most of the rest of the invitees) have been invited to three showers for the same person, I thought that was a nice touch. A chance to get together and have fun without feeling pressured to purchase yet another gift. I'm not trying to be selfish, but I think you understand...

      Anyway, when the guests arrived at the shower, there was a table filled with pre-wrapped gifts and a representative from the department store where the bride had registered greeted the guests at the door to TAKE THEIR MONEY! It seems that the MOH had picked out items from the registry and was expecting everyone to write a check at the door! The bridal registry representative even took Visa cards! My understanding is that all of this was done without the bride's knowledge. I would be MORTIFIED if someone did this to/for me! Why didn't the MOH just ask for people to RSVP with a blank check instead?

      I really liked the idea that the gifts came from everyone and perhaps it would have been more appropriate for the MOH to have included an explanation of her plan with the invitation - then the idea might have gone over really well.

      This afternoon, the MOH called me at work to ask me for the $45.00. Keep in mind that this is the THIRD shower I would have attended for the same bride had I been in town. So the question is, do I pay or not? What do you think? :)

    • At a recent shower I attended, the bride openly complained about gifts that were given to her, and these gifts were items that she had registered for. She opened them up, turned to the gift giver, and said, "I don't like this. You'll have to take it back."

      Also, she observed that someone was planning to make a list of things she said while she opened her gifts, and recite them at end of the shower as "Things the bride will say on her wedding night" (pretty common shower game), and yelled out, "And I'm not saying anything at all when I open up these gifts because I know you will write it down!!". She adamantly refused to comment on any gift until the paper and pen were put down.