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Amusing or Horror stories involving children

2002 Archive
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Actually, I think this is all the adult's fault in this story and not the baby's, but it seems to fit this category.

I have a cousin who had dated the same girl since junior high. It was, of course, inevitable that they should eventually marry and they did. At the wedding, the bride's cousin had a small baby. I've never thought one should bring a baby to a wedding or small children who can't be trusted to be quiet and in fact, I said so on the invitations to my own wedding (do I go under "Bridezilla" for that? LOL) but Cousin's Bride had not.

From the time of the procession on, this baby wailed at the top of its tiny lungs, loud, long and without ceasing. Not just crying. Screaming. You couldn't hear anything that was going on. Not the vows, not the music, not yourself think. And they were videotaping this. I doubt if the bride, groom and minister could hear each other and that video has got to be one for the books.

Did Mama get up and take Baby out so the wedding wouldn't be ruined? Nope. She sat there ineffectually jiggling Baby and not even sticking a bottle or pacifier in Baby's mouth to muffle the racket. Finally, Bride's Mother gets up, goes to Baby's Mama, takes the baby and leaves the sanctuary, thus missing her OWN DAUGHTER'S vows in order to remove Banshee Baby and the noise from the ceremony. Did Banshee Baby's Mama get up, suitably embarrassed, to take over and let the bride's mother come back? Nope. She sat there quite comfortably until it was all over.



This happened a good 40 years ago, but I still find it quite remarkable. My brother's 4th grade teacher was getting married to a prominent politician. She invited her entire class, including my brother. Knowing her, I can only imagine it was to use them as props. My brother didn't want any part of this, so he refused to go. My then 13 year old sister decided she wanted to go in his place. Her reasoning was that she was previously in this woman's class and therefore, eligible to attend. My mother, who grew up a small town orphan, was blissfully unaware of the rules of good etiquette. So my sister ended up going. I can only imagine how this went over with the bride. Her entire class and one leftover. My sister was very petite and hopefully did not stand out too much.

Anyways, to cut to the chase, when school started up again in the fall, I had the sheer misfortune of being in this woman's class. She made my life miserable. She was so obvious that when she brought treats for the entire class, my classmates were surprised that she had one for me.


Hello! Just want to say I LOVE your site. I was hoping not to have anything to contribute after our wedding last month, but of course our dear friends and family didn't disappoint us. I guess this story would have to go under the Wedding Rugrats section. 

My hubby has a cousin from hell, who is nine years old. We had a gorgeous outdoor wedding, everything went fine.. except for said Rugrat, who was seated in the aisle seat. As my hubby-to-be and our priest were walking up the aisle, the brat gets out of his seat and actually grabbed my husband's rear end! Luckily, he was seated toward the back, so not many people saw this, but it's clearly visible on the wedding video. I guess I should just be grateful that he didn't decide to grab the priest's butt instead! This same cousin threw a fit because he didn't receive a pocketwatch, which was our groomsmens' gift, (he wasn't in the wedding, but his older brother was). He is famous for his tantrums, so to keep the peace his brother ended up letting him take HIS watch. 

So you don't think I married in to the family from hell, my side didn't disappoint either. My 19 year old cousin, who thinks she is the next best thing to J'lo, was dirty dancing on the floor with any guy who would get near her, including our DJ. Fast forward to the hotel afterward, when she and her sister, along with several other guests, decided to get themselves kicked out of the (closed) hotel pool for skinny dipping. Always an adventure with this crowd!  



When I was four years old my oldest sister Cheryl was eighteen. She ran off ,converted to Catholicism and eloped with her boyfriend. The priest that married them refused to give his full blessing to the marriage until she told her parents. To satisfy the Priest my mother insisted on throwing a full and proper church wedding, even though we are Mormons. The crowning jewel in Mom's plan being that my seven year old sister Sena and I as well has my five year old cousin Larry would be part of the wedding party.

Now here comes the point where I commit the the faux pas. Kindly remember that I'm four years old at the time, and this was a full Catholic wedding. Stand at the alter while the Priest gives a sermon, listen to the vows, and then there was the blessing. At least, I think it went that way. Half way through I kneeled down on the floor and fell asleep. The sad part is that no one noticed until the pictures were developed. Though Cheryl lovingly teases me about it to this day.

I'm now nearly twenty-six with a husband and a little girl of my own.


Page Last Updated May 15, 2007