Vendornistas

They're armed, they're unprofessional and they're going to ruin your wedding day if you aren't careful.  (And stories of victimized vendors.)

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I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of a very good friend of mine. She was sweet enough to let us all decide on a dress style in the color she had chosen so that she could be sure we would all like it. We found a dress that we all managed to agree on (luckily, we had all been friends for years) in a small bridal shop that was quite a drive for most of us. We each went to a local bridal shop to get measured and then sent the measurements to shop from which our dresses would be ordered. 

When they came in, we all picked our dresses up and brought them home (I had another one of the bridesmaids pick mine up for me). We were horrified to find that they were all the wrong sizes! Now, I know that any dress is going to need altering, but this was ridiculous. One of the bridesmaids who is about a size 6 received a size 16 dress. It had to be taken apart and remade. On the other hand, mine fit in the hips and waist, but not the bust. I had to take material from the hem of another bridesmaid, who luckily was not particularly tall, and have it sewn into the back of my dress. It was a nightmare! We all think that the bridal shop wanted to make money by altering our dresses. However, not a single one of the 6 bridesmaids had their dress altered at that shop, and we will CERTAINLY never shop for our own wedding attire there. The only good thing was that we managed to keep the bride in the dark until 2 years after the wedding, when I finally told her and we had a good laugh about it.

Vendors0806-04

Hello...wanted to share our story of our awful videographer and photographer (not surprising---they were from he same place). Our wedding was in June 7, 2003.

First, right after the ceremony we were getting our pictures taken inside the church. Our videographer was having the wedding party say a few things to the camera while the groom and I were taking pictures. One of our groomsmen told the videographer that the videographer looked familiar. The videographer said, "That's probably because I'm a registered sex offender."  True or not, do we really need to know that information at that moment??

During the garter toss, the photographer was being a complete jerk about the exact angle where he wanted me to sit. Prior to taking the garter off, my husband took my shoe off and set aside (just out of arm's reach of me). After he took the garter off, I leaned forward, lifting my behind off the chair, but not standing up, to reach the shoe. After I grabbed my shoe, I proceeded to sit down, but found myself flat on my back on the dance floor with my legs and huge dress straight up in the air. It turned out my photographer decided my part "was done" and was taking my chair away. Nice!  

Vendors0730-04

In mid-April, I visited a photo studio location in order to have an engagement photo taken as a surprise for my fiancé's (we had just gotten engaged, and - since we were in a long-distance relationship - I thought he might like something for his desk to mark the occasion).  I had been shopping in the adjoining mall at the time, so I did this on the spur of the moment, having noticed their sign advertising "walk-ins welcome".  It was early in the evening when I arrived, but I was told by the clerk that the photography staff had already gone home (it was still 2 hrs. until they closed), and I'd have to make an appointment.  Okay, so, walk-ins technically not always welcome. The clerk managed to sell me on the fact that they were having a $14.95 sitting fee special, so I duly made an appointment for the following Thursday at 6:00 p.m., approximately a week later.  This is because this location is an hour round-trip for me, and hard to fit into a fairly busy schedule. 

I didn't notice, at the time, that - despite the "$14.95" touted - my card was actually and inexplicably charged for $20.00.  And I did mention to the clerk that I get off of work at 5:30 p.m. and would probably arrive a bit late, due to the distance and traffic, but she assured me this would not be an issue, since they didn't close until 9:00. 

On the Thursday in question, (a) it was raining hard out, and (b) I was driving in rush hour traffic.  Naturally, there was some impediment to my progress, and I did not arrive at my appointment, granted, until 6:15.  I doubted this would be an issue, since I had already explained my situation to the clerk in advance.  I met a woman coming out of the shop, and when I approached the counter, the girl told me that was the makeup woman - MY makeup woman - I had passed coming in, who had just left for the evening because she had a prior engagement at 7:00, so my session could not take place.  This, after a rush hour in the rain and traffic, for which most members of the service industry would at least calculate might cause a delay for their clientele, especially since I had warned in advance that even under the best conditions, I would be late!  Fifteen minutes is not all that much to ask, and if the makeup woman hadn't allotted adequate time for my appointment, then someone should have gotten with me in advance and asked to reschedule THEN, not after I had made the trip all the way out. 

The clerk offered to reschedule, but I really had no interest in further wasting my time in this regard, that time being 2+ hours to date in travel time, and a lot of hard feelings toward Glamour Shots for both occasions of inconvenience. As a post script to the story, I wrote to main studio headquarters, explaining the situation and requesting a refund.  Four months later, and I have yet to even receive an acknowledgement of my email to them.

Vendors0918-04

This is a brief story about my sister's wedding a couple years ago.  It might not sound all that horrible but it was to her and, to me, that's what makes them a candidate for Vendor Hell. 

My sister had a very small destination wedding in a lovely resort area.  Everything was beautiful and the whole wedding became a lovely family reunion.  Being that it was a small wedding and out of town, she opted to not have attendant's and just have family highlighted during the ceremony so she had made appointments for my mother, herself, and I to get our hair done.  She had met with her hairdresser in her hometown and went over hairstyles and everything she was to tell the out of town hairdresser to do to achieve the same style.  It wasn't hard. She just wanted a more stylized version of her normal style - Hell, I could have done that.  Anyway, we are at the hairdresser and I sit down to get my hair done with one of the stylists (using the term loosely) and he asked what I wanted.  Being in an extremely hot area of the country, I decided on some type of up do - I let him decided from there - wrong plan.  He kept grabbing a piece of hair here and there and sticking more bobbie pins in my hair then I knew what to do with.  By the end of it all it looked like a bird nest had landed on my head and it was extremely loose.  (It was so bad my mom sent me back to the hotel early to enlist the aid of the mother of the groom who was a hairdresser - she couldn't really do anything with it besides make it a bit tighter and kind of rearrange it a bit more flattering) 

I could have lived with it if it was just me though.  The same person did my mom's hair and made it this spiky mess that might have been okay if my mother was 13 years old but not for a mother of the bride (she also redid her hair later).  So here we are, nest-head and porcupine-head and we look over at my sister who is being made to look like a lost member of the Supremes.  See and my mom try to explain that they just want her normal look with a little more lift and style and the guy snaps back "Why would you just want to look the same?"  All the while rolling his eyes at my mother and smirking to the genius of design who did my hair.  We finally got him to do her hair as wanted but only after my sister almost began to cry.   Luckily, that was the only drama on what turned out to be a lovely wedding.

Vendors0723-04

I found a vendor through a bridal magazine that sent their stylists to your house to do hair and makeup. I thought that was a great idea and that it would save time, so I booked them. I had a trial session 3 months before the wedding and it was terrible. The stylist showed up a half hour late and didn't even apologize. She then proceeded to make me look like a cheap hooker, after I told her I wanted something subtle and natural. 

When it came time to do my hair, she had no idea what she was doing. By then, I was already a half hour late to my next appointment (I was planning the wedding from 500 miles away and that weekend was the one time I had to meet with all my vendors before the wedding), so she just gave up and promised me that on the day of the wedding, it would all be perfect. I didn't give her the chance. I called the owner of the agency and while she wouldn't refund me any of the cost of the trial (the stylist did a half ass job, so why should I pay full price?), she told me that she would send a different stylist on the day of the wedding and she'd get there early so that if I didn't like what she did, there would be time to redo it. Luckily I told her to just send someone to do my hair. My maid of honor would do my makeup. I could tell the owner thought that was a stupid idea, because apparently you can't do makeup unless you have some sort of certificate stating that you can. 

I had many conversations with the new stylist, telling her what time she needed to be at my mom's house and how important it was to be on time. She told me she was a professional and she would be there and the agency even charged my credit card a month before the wedding. 

On the day of the wedding, the stylist didn't show. At all. When she was a half hour late, I tried calling her cell phone and got no answer. I tried calling the agency and got no answer. When she was an hour late, we were scouring the phone book, looking for anybody who was free. When she was 2.5 hours late (2 hours before I needed to be at the church), she called. I was already somewhere else getting my hair done, but my brother let me know that she said that she wouldn't be coming. Her uncle who had been sick for the past 3 months had passed away. I understand that she was upset, but she could have made alternate arrangements since she knew this was coming. She could have told the agency that she might need a backup for her appointments that month. Heck, she could have called me at the time that she was supposed to be at my house so that I didn't have to sit there and stress out for 2 hours, wondering what the heck was going on. She was as unprofessional as it got. 

Everything turned out for the best, though. My hair was amazing and my makeup was exactly what I wanted. Could you imagine if I had hired them to do my makeup too? Then I really would have been screwed. As it was, since I cancelled on the makeup, I had time to go get some good quality stuff and my maid of honor did a few trial runs before the wedding date. The agency refunded me ALL my money and claimed to have sent me free cosmetics, but it's 5 weeks after the wedding now and I haven't gotten any packages. I really didn't expect them to actually send free anything. It's par for the course in dealing with this company...all empty promises. 

Vendors1111-04

Just wanted to share with you a story about a local bridal shop in my area.  Mind you I only had 6 months to plan my wedding, so I was met with a lot of "boy you are pushing it" looks from possible vendors.  But this one takes the cake!  I saw an ad for this particular boutique in a lot of bridal magazines offering their higher end dresses.  So I made an appointment and walked in with two of my bridesmaids.  Even though I'm 25 and well established in my career, I am often told that I look barely 18.  Maybe that was the reason for her rudeness.  I don't know.  

But I walk in 10 minutes before my scheduled appointment time and the sales person looks me up and down with what I swear was a look of DISDAIN!  .And then she asks me, "So what is your budget?"  I let her know that I was looking for a Lazaro gown and I knew the price range of this dress already.  So she again pushes the, "How much are you looking to spend?"  I looked at her squarely in the eyes and told her I was willing to spend what I needed to get the dress that I wanted.  Then she scoffs, "Well, just for your information, nothing in my shop is less than $2000"  UGH!  The nerve of her!  I took a look around anyhow and found MANY dresses that were priced under $2000.  Not like price was ever an object to begin with  She then proceeds to ask when my wedding is and when I tell her it is in 6 months, she states flatly, "Good luck little lady, you are NOT going to find a dress in such a short amount of time!"  My first wedding experience ended right there, I walked straight out of the shop without even trying on a single gown, and no matter how much I loved Lazaro gowns there was no way I was going to purchase one from HER. 

Vendors0816-04

I attended the wedding of my now husband's grandmother quite a few years ago (when she was in her late 50's).  The husband to be was and still is a very large man, less politely put, a very fat man.  It appears that this trait runs in the family, as most of his relatives were on the very large size as well.   The wedding was going smoothly, the bride looked beautiful and everyone was enjoying the service.  I don't know what possessed the marriage celebrant but he interrupted his service to tell a joke.  And not just any joke, a FAT JOKE.  There was a very awkward silence where no one laughed, just looked at the celebrant in disbelief.  He went on to complete the service quick smart and declined to attend the reception afterwards.   The worst faux pas if I've ever seen.....   

Vendors1015-04

We arrive at the venue for the wedding at 10:30am (the wedding was to start at 11am). The place was VERY easy to find, and off of a major road. The waitstaff asked us to be seated for the outdoor ceremony at about 10:50 and we sat down. The ceremony was to be outside, in the direct sunlight. I am very pale and burn very easy, and immediately realized that I was going to be in trouble because of the sun (I burn in about 15 minutes), but figured that I would only be outside for about 45 minutes, so it shouldn't be too bad, right?

Guests wandered over to the seats continually; my friend B arrived and sat down at 11:10am. He said he was glad to see that he wasn't late because the groom and the groomsman pulled into the parking lot after him! The groom and his party went and stood at the front of the ceremony site. They continue to stand there, with no sign of the bridal party or an officiant.

The officiant wanders over to the ceremony site AT 11:30 and complains that the place was VERY difficult to find, so it wasn't her fault she was late. Fine. I look like a lobster, but maybe we can get going.

Then we see the bridal party - the photographer is still lining them up for pictures! It's 11:40! The wedding is already VERY late! (The ceremony didn't end until 12:15 - 90 minutes outside for me and other guests who couldn't/shouldn't be in the sun.)

The wedding starts, everything else runs well, until the photographer orders the bride and groom's college friends outside for a group shot. She orders us to line up, link arms and walk toward her. Then she starts SCREAMING, "HAVE FUN! LOOK LIKE YOU ARE HAVING FUN!!!" The pictures came out really well because we were all laughing so hard at being ordered to have fun...

Thanks for letting me share. I just thought it was pretty funny to be ordered to have fun.

Vendors0817-04

Recently, one of my brother's friends got married to a woman who many of the groom's friends disliked. Their disdain for the bride-to-be was clear enough that during the rehearsal, the priest evidently became quite worried. When they were discussing the order of events in the wedding, the priest informed them, "And when I reach the part in the wedding where I say, 'If anyone knows why these two should not be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace,' these are the ONLY reasons I will accept!" The priest then read off a list of acceptable reasons, such as an incomplete divorce, consanguinity, impotence, and other items that could legally get a marriage annulled. He concluded with, "I will NOT accept objections on the grounds that you dislike the bride!"

Vendors0831-04

Bravo for the priest!

Back in the early 80's I had met the man of my dreams, and knew that I was going to marry him.   After a year of dating we decided to get married. I asked my mother's preacher if he would marry us. He agreed. Another woman from the Church was making the Cake, another woman of the Church was helping out with all the other areas of the wedding. I was on cloud nine. I was marring the man I loved.   Everything seemed to be running smoothly until the night BEFORE the wedding. 

The pastor came out to the house and asked my soon to be husband and I to sit down that he had something to tell us.   As we sat down, I was still on cloud nine. Well the preacher soon turned that cloud into a rain pour.   He sat there and said that he could not of good conscience marry us knowing that my boy friend was not a Christian. My mouth just dropped. He went on to say that he could not marry people who were not Christians, two people that were not of the same yoke. That the marriage would not last. He felt that the man I had picked was not right for me  and that was that.   

I just sat there in shock. He had known that my boy friend was not a Christian for MONTHS, and did not say a word! Now on the night BEFORE our wedding we were left without a preacher.   If I was not in so much shock I would of just picked up the phone and found another preacher who would marry us. But I was distraught.   We had to call all the members of the Church and tell them the wedding was off. Strange though, they all seemed to know this before I told them. I felt as though a huge conspiracy was going on right under my nose. My mother did not even seemed surprised when she heard the news.   I resented the pastor for what he did, I resented the members of the church. How dare they! Who did they think they were to judge.   

Not too long after the preacher had refused to marry us, he held a wedding in the church, for two 'church members,' both of the same yoke as he called it.   I just turned my head the other way and went on with my life. My boyfriend and I ended up getting married a few years later and had two children, who are now teenagers. We have been married for 20 years and holding on strong.   I had found out that the wedding the preacher did agree to do, that marriage crashed and burned with in a year. Strange, I thought. How two people of the same yoke couldn't make it, and we have! If I could find that preacher now I would just smugly lift my head and say "The Joke Is on You".

Vendors1207-04

The storyteller reference to "yoke" refers to the New Testament admonition to believers to not be unequally "yoked"  (like oxen) with unbelievers.

My story involves the clergyman who married me and my husband. In the marriage ceremony in the Swedish church, the clergyman reads Matthew 19:4-6, about the man having to commit to his bride. A part of it states:" For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.." The clergyman, who we thought were strange to begin with, said: "For this reason a man shall leave his wife..." He corrected himself afterwards but if you look at the video me and my husband are having a hard time not laughing.

Later in the ceremony he evidently thought that the microphone in front of him wasn't where he wanted it so he started adjusting it. Unfortunately this ended in the microphone falling to the floor with a loud bang. Well, we can laugh about it afterwards.

When we had the pre-wedding talk with him he asked us if we were absolutely sure we wanted this. Well yes, we are sure, we said. Well, good, he said. "I was in this situation myself 20 years ago and thought to myself when we talked to the minister: Do I really want this? No I do not. So I didn't get married and I haven't got married yet." Ok. Good for you. Or perhaps good for the potential woman.

Thanks again for this lovely site.

Vendors0812-04

I simply adore your website and thank you for considering my story.

This story takes place about six years ago when my (now ex) wife and I were planning our wedding.  The entire event was planned, put together and executed within a twelve-week time frame with most of the work being done by my fiancée's parents.  The date was set, wedding party chosen, church booked and banquet hall reserved with all of the details carefully chosen.  The only thing left to do was hire the DJ.

Back in high school a friend of mine started a DJ business, which had managed to grow steadily over the years into a moderately successful venture.  Although we lost touch about a year after high school and I had only spoken to him a handful of times since then, I thought that it would be nice to show my loyalty and hire him for my wedding.  When my soon-to-be-in-laws agreed I gave them the phone number and had them call.

Unfortunately, my friend was spending some time out of town on other business, leaving his father and an assistant to run things until he returned.  Now my friend's father was an excellent businessman, very attentive to detail, friendly, generous and fair.  Unfortunately, the assistant was a moron.

After spending two or three days playing phone tag, the assistant finally got through to my fiancée's father and  introduced himself as "DJ Richie Rich".  When asked his real name, again he stated "DJ Richie Rich".  My fiancée's father replied, "Your mother named you DJ Richie Rich?"  He replied, "Well, no.  It's Rich Smith, but I go by DJ Richie Rich."  Um, ok.  After inquiring about prices, packages and music selections, they set a date and time to meet at my fiancée's house to see the company's video tape.  When my fiancée's father offered to give 'Richie Rich' directions to the house, he was told "Uh, let me call you back later for them.  I don't have a pen on me."  You call clients and don't have anything to write with? my fiancée's father wondered to himself, but let it go.

When we finally got together with DJ Richie Rich to view the videotape, my soon-to-be-in-laws agreed to hire my friend's company (making sure to ask that HE would be the one DJ-ing, NOT Richie Rich), they said that they were ready to sign the contract and pay the deposit.  Richie Rich quickly retrieved the videotape from the VCR, closed his briefcase and said, "Cool, but I didn't bring any contracts with me.  Let me get back to you in a day or so."  Strike two, as far as my soon-to-be in-laws and fiancée were concerned.  Thankfully my fiancée's parents are very patient people but I could see that if it weren't for the company's owner being a personal friend of mine they would have opened up the phone book to search for another DJ.

Fast forward a bit to less than two weeks before the wedding.  While I was in the middle of a conference at work with a handful of clients an unfamiliar phone number appeared on my pager followed by '911', indicating that it was urgent for me to return the call.  I politely excused myself, went into another office and called the number.  DJ Richie Rich answered.  The conversation went something like this:

"Hey, it's Rich." "What's up?" "Um... we have a bit of a problem." "What's the matter?" "I accidentally double-booked the Saturday of your wedding." "Um, what are you talking about?" I asked. "Well, I booked a bowling banquet that same evening as your wedding.  You're going to have to change the time of the reception," Richie Rich said.

"What?!" I exclaimed, not believing what I was hearing.  "Change the time of the wedding?  To what?"

"You're probably going to have to have the ceremony in the morning and have everything finished by like, four, because we have to be at Such-N-Such hall in Blanktown by six."

"Rich, the church isn't going to give us a morning wedding!  They told us that they don't do morning weddings because they leave mornings open for funerals!  Besides that, the church and hall have already been booked and the invitations have already went out!"

"Well, just see what you can do.  That would help us out a whole lot," he said.  I was FUMING!  My friend was still out of town and not expected to return until two or three days before the wedding.

"Look," I said.  "This is out of my hands.  My fiancée's parents are paying for everything and they are the ones making the final decisions.  You have my fiancée's father's work number.  I suggest you give him a call and hash it out with him."

That afternoon my fiancée called me at work, even angrier than I was.  "I just spoke to my father," she said.  "I guess he talked to Rich?" I asked, knowing full well that he did and that was the reason for the call.  "My father hit the roof," she said.  "I'm sorry, but they are NOT hiring them.  He said that they'll pay for any other DJ company but that one."  I told her that I understood completely since they were paying for everything and even I was disgusted (as well as embarrassed) with my friend's choice of who he appointed to run the business in his absence.  Another DJ company was quickly located, contacted and hired.  However, the entire week before the wedding I received SEVERAL calls a day from Rich AND my buddy's father, stating that they convinced the other party to postpone their banquet a week (even paying for their hall rental) just so they could do the wedding.  After refusing to return or accept any of their calls they finally got me on the phone.  I simply told them that my fiancée's parents had sole say as to who was being hired to do what since they were paying for everything and that all decisions were being made by them.  "You're barking up the wrong tree.  It's not my decision anymore.  If you want to convince someone I suggest you call my fiancée's father."

When my buddy finally came back to town he tried calling me to convince my fiancée's parents.  I told him that the final decisions have already been made, contracts have been signed, deposits have been paid and that it was now a dead issue.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding.  My buddy did show up (being that he was still invited as a guest), but he wore a black beret boldly embroidered with the name of his DJ business the entire time.  Supposedly he told my new wife "These DJs suck.  You should've hired me.  I would've kicked ass."  Maybe so, but it's just too bad that his assistant was a complete moron.  The DJs that we did wind up hiring were ok at best.  Aside from completely ignoring our song requests (other than the special dances), calling me by my best man's name during the cake cutting ceremony and INSISTING that we come up to dance while we were in the middle of greeting our guests and taking pictures with friends and family members, they weren't too bad.

In the end, my wife and I divorced roughly four years later, my buddy's DJ company went under and I haven't spoken to him in over two years now.

Vendors0821-04

This happened at my dad's wedding.  All in all, the ceremony went off without a hitch, but the reception literally left me in tears.  My sister, my friends, my cousin's fiancé, and I were to be servers at the reception.  During this whole thing, my friends and I did all the preparation of the food and all of the serving as well.  Where were my sister and cousin's fiancé?  They were wandering around talking to people and smoking outside.  

As my friends and I begin to clean up, I decide to sit down and take a break, as I had been on my feet all day.  After I had been seated for about five minutes, my sister and cousin's fiancé come over to me and tell me to get to work.  "We've been doing everything while you and your friends have been goofing off!"  At this, I get extremely angry, but being a usually calm person and not wanting to ruin dad's wedding, I keep quiet and go on doing the dishes and packing everything away.  

On top of this, we have to load everything into the truck, all the while walking back and forth in front of my sister, my cousin's fiancé, and their friends, who are all talking and laughing.  After everything had been cleaned and put away and loaded into the truck, my friends and I climbed into the back of the truck, where the emotions that I had held back all night burst forth.  I had suffered through all this understanding that I would receive a little bit of money for my trouble.  On our way home, my now step-mom and my dad say that they might not pay me after all -- family never works for payment.  At this, I went off.  Through all the tears, I told them about all that had happened that day.  To say the least, I got paid, and my sister and my cousin's fiancé got to unload the truck while I got some much needed rest with my friends.

Vendors0930-04