Perfect Brides and Grooms

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When my DH and I got married in the summer of 2003 I worked very hard to make it a stress free and fun event for everyone. 

We placed our deposit on our ceremony/reception location with a week of our engagement.  We set a date for 18 month later.  Because we scheduled it so far in advance we were able to book the beautiful location for a June wedding.  We chose a Friday night, so it was much less expensive.

I bought my dress for $50 from a friend (and it was a Vera Wang).  It was only the second dress I tried on - the first one also belonged to said friend but didn’t fit.  My month bought both dresses for $100 total and used the other dress to make the flower girls dresses.

I made sure all the bridesmaids like the dress I chose for them (at least they told me they did).  I worked very hard to find a dress for under $150 that they would be able to wear again if they chose.  Each girl wore a different color dress that flattered her.  I didn’t care what their shoes or jewelry looked like.  Everyone had long hair so I paid for everyone to get updos the morning of the wedding.

I let the mother pick out their own outfits.  I didn’t even care what color they were.  My only request was they were not white.  They both chose beautiful dresses on their own.

We did our own table decorations - no flowers - so my family pitched in at the rehearsal to set up the tables.  Hubby and I were working right along side everyone else.  Hubby and I made our own favors without asking anyone else to slave away over them.  We all put everything away at the end of the reception also.

The wedding cake, while not quite straight, was delicious.  The only thing that mattered was is was yummy.  I didn’t care it was a little tipsy looking. 

During the ceremony the minister started to pronounced my name wrong, but caught himself.  I didn’t let it bother me.

We had almost all of the pictures done BEFORE the ceremony so we didn’t make anyone wait for us after.

During dinner one of our guests got sick and vomited at the table.  I felt so bad for him that he had to miss the rest of the party. 

We had so much fun at our wedding.  My family still talks about how hard I worked to make everyone else happy on my special day. 

P.S. and my thank you notes were all sent out within 2 weeks of the wedding.  Even to the people who came to the wedding without gifts!

 PerfectBrides0201-06

Generally speaking, to nominate oneself for honor and recognition is considered uncouth.  It would have been better had one of your bridesmaids actually written the above post.  

I'd love to tell the story about my cousin-in-law, the perfect bride.

Ten years ago, a much less wedding-savvy me attended the wedding of my cousin S to his wonderful bride J. Having just finished my senior year of high school, with all the dressy events surrounding that, I had in my closet an adorable white sundress that I selected to wear at the urging of my mother (who had just purchased several dresses for those many graduation events and wasn't too eager to buy yet another).

In my own defense, I truly had never heard about the "no white" rule before, as I wasn't of a wedding-planning age yet and hadn't attended a wedding since I was much younger and oblivious to such things. My logic was just that I had a great tan that year and thought white would look good!

This doesn't negate the fact that there I was, at a beautiful lakeside wedding, looking a bit too bridal in a white sundress. My mother chose the minutes just before the ceremony to tell me that wearing white to a wedding is a big no-no, but that it was really an "old rule" so it didn't matter.

Mortified like only a teenager could be, I slunked down into my seat and prayed for the earth to swallow me whole. No such luck.

When I trudged through the receiving line, J immediately hugged me, thanked me for coming, and started giggling. Through her laughter, she explained that my dress was the same one she had stashed in another room to change into after the ceremony. I offered to wait in the car, but she said that wouldn't be necessary.

Immediately after her first dance with my cousin, she changed into the sundress and wore it for the rest of the evening. I still cringe when I come across pictures of us from that night, J smiling brightly and me waving feebly at the camera.

When I began planning my own wedding, she told me her philosophy: It's the best day of your life, with a big party to celebrate with the people you love most. Relax, have a good time, and enjoy the day.

I've never met a more gracious bride, and I'm not sure there are many out there. Thanks, J, for being so kind to a misguided kid!

PerfectBrides0204-06

Dear Miss Jeanne,

I have two sisters who both happened to get married the same year, one in July and one in October. Both had four bridesmaids of varying sizes. Both had the other sister and me, plus two friends. In both cases I was the largest woman of the bridesmaids.

One sister, who has to be the center of attention ... to the point that she never, ever, considers other factors ... chose bias-cut dresses with broad just-off-the-shoulder straps. Such straps start to hurt after the dress is on for more than a couple of hours and are hideously unflattering to all but the slimmest, tannest arms. Moreover, bias-cut dresses should only be worn by very slender women! Three gals looked great, I looked like a lavender tank. However, this was her day, so I said not a word.

Fast forward from July (Wedding #1) to October (Wedding #2). My other sister, who is very groovy and laid-back (though she has high standards for herself, she has a "life happens, smile and enjoy your loved ones" attitude). Like sister #1, she has four bridesmaids of varying sizes, again with me being the biggest.

However, this sister responds by choosing two-piece outfits with a long skirt and matching jacket that has a large, completely off-the-shoulder collar, elastic off-the-shoulder hidden straps, long sleeves, and a front placket. Result? The outfit was flattering for all four women, despite our varying sizes and tan-ness.

It's been over a decade and I still remember the Dress Of Doom and the Dress Of Kindness.

PerfectBrides0918-06

A few years ago, one of my dearest friends married a man who has also become one of my dearest friends. At the time, I was moderately disabled (I could walk, but not far, and I tired easily, and travel was difficult for me), and they went to great lengths to plan all the events to be accessible for me. They arranged for a mutual friend to bring my bridesmaid dress from home since she was driving, and since I was flying and could barely carry the basics I needed, let alone a dress that needed gentle handling.

I also have food allergies, and the bride went out of her way to arrange a meal that was not only safe for me but quite tasty - this is something that I usually work with a caterer directly to make sure that the meal will not cost the couple extra and to avoid being a hassle to the couple.

Instead of having us all wear a dress she picked out, she gave us three basic guidelines: The dress could not be black, it had to be at least tea-length, and we had to feel pretty in the dress. Given the fact that one bridesmaid happens to be an Orthodox Jew who adheres to a strict dress code, and that we all lived in different parts of the country, and that none of us had the same body type or coloring, and that some of us had limited means, it was a wonderful way to address the many problems that picking out one dress to fit all of us would have caused.

When the air conditioning died that day (a hot day in May in Washington, DC), the couple handled it with the grace and humor that had characterized everything else they had done for the wedding.

I've been to a lot of weddings over the years, and their wedding has been, hands down, the most beautiful wedding I've been to. Even better, they have as lovely a married relationship as they did a wedding - not perfect, but full of grace and humor.

PerfectBrides1024-06

I hope my friend Marie is an inspiration to other brides and hosts of all parties, I felt like such a treasured guest. This bride (Marie) is the epitome of hospitality and warmth and it was the most incredible wedding I have ever been to. I received an invitation to attend the wedding of Marie, my friend from college. We had not seen each other in 2 years as she now lives on the West Coast, but we still talked on the phone every month, being a good friend in college, I decided to attend. Since all our college friends were going to be in attendance to this wedding, and many of them were flying in from the East Coast, Marie arranged with the airline to get us all "group ticket rates", she spent hours researching the most affordable hotels for us, and then paid for 2 of 5 our nights at the hotel.   Before I flew out there I asked Marie what she would like for a gift and she said, "Oh please, do not worry about a gift, you spending all this and effort to come watch me get married is gift enough." 

Upon arrival, she greeted us warmly at the airport, even though it was 11:45 p.m., and then dropped us off at our hotel.  During our stay in town she made time for us, showed us around, and invited us out for breakfast twice. The wedding was beautiful, romantic, and worth the trip. Before the ceremony the bride, and groom ate, so that at their reception they could walk around to each guest, and personally thank them for attending. The bride also ensured that the reception started immediately after the ceremony, so no one would be standing around hungry. For her favors, we all received miniature wedding cakes in cake boxes to enjoy later in the evening if we were hungry. After the wedding she did not leave for her honeymoon for a week, as to make sure she could see all her guests out of town. The day after her wedding our flights left at 7:00 a.m.  The bride and groom woke up at 5:00 a.m. the day after their wedding, and drove us all to the airport, 45 minutes away, so we wouldn't have to pay for a cab and to say good-bye. 

Just over one week after the wedding I open my mail box to find- a thank you note! A bride who delays her honeymoon to write thank you notes, and spend time with out of town guests is a real class act. I have never felt so "special" as a guest before at any wedding. 

PerfectBrides1121-06

M, L and I had been good friends with T while we were undergrads and she was earning a graduate degree.  T is very sweet and funny and generally a very positive person.  We knew she was getting married, and happy for her.

We all lived in Canada at the time, and after T finished her graduate degree, she moved to the states to be with her fiancé.  A year later, she sent invitations to M, L, and I to attend her wedding New Jersey.  I haven't seen her in a year, and yet she was true to her promise to invite me to her wedding.

This would mean a 12 hour drive for us, but I was glad to drive M, L and L's boyfriend to the destination.  Contacting M to confirm details was easy, but suddenly, L had stopped replying to my emails.  I couldn't reach her cell phone, and I didn't know her home phone.  This was shocking as L was especially close with T. 

One day, I get a phone call from T, asking if I had heard from L.  I explained my situation and asked if she had L's home phone.  Well, T told me not to worry a bit, and took time to phone L and finally work everything out.  Turned out L wasn't able to attend. T even offered to let L share a hotel room with her if money was a problem. 

M and I drove 12 hours to get to the wedding.  Despite being surrounded by her own family and friends, she took time to greet M and I, and invited us to her hotel room to socialize with friends and family.  Several people got hungry and suggested ordering room service.  M and I did bring money for food and such, but T insisted on paying for M and I's order. 

On the day of the wedding, the whole ceremony was beautiful.  The reception was absolutely lovely, and there wasn't a bridezilla moment to be had. After the afternoon reception, T even invited M and I to party with her and her husband's friends.  

About a month later, I received a lovely and personal thank you card.  The world needs more brides, nay people, like this one.

PerfectBrides1126-06

My high school friend Jerri announced her engagement in 1981. I was overjoyed for her...until she told me they wanted to sing at their wedding. My voice is, at best, marginal. She pointed out that we sang this particular country-and-western song all the time together. I said that was different - no audience. I'd be glad to play the piano for the singer, and be a bridesmaid, but I couldn't sing.   Jerri and her fiancé ganged up on me and I'll never forget what her groom said: "If we wanted a performance, we'd hire Crystal Gayle. It's YOU we want in the wedding, and we don't care if you sound like a bullfrog."   I went to the wedding and managed to get off-key only once. They thanked me profusely, and I'll carry the memory the rest of my life. They didn't care about a great performance.... they really wanted ME there. I'm happy to report that they're still together.  

PerfectBrides1211-06

Do you know a wonderful bride and groom who should be immortalized for their graciousness?  Send us the story and be sure to put "Perfect Bride" in the email subject line.  

Page Last Updated July 30, 2007