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My first niece graduated from high school several years ago.  She was the second of my siblings' children to graduate and a brunch was held prior to the graduation at my sister's house.  I gave $50, the same amount I gave my brother's son, nephew #1, the first to graduate of our children. 

I dropped the card & money off for my niece at the brunch location the day before the event.

I did not attend the brunch, having had a previous engagement, but did attend the graduation ceremony and we did visit afterwards.  My brother did attend the brunch and I did see him with a card that also had $50 in it when we left my house to go different directions.

Two days after the graduation my sister called me at work and asked if my brother had left a gift for the daughter with me.  I said no, I knew he had a card with money in it when he left my house.  Well she didn't get it she said.  "I don't think he got her anything.".

I said call brother and ask him.  A few hours pass and she calls me again.  No they can't find any such card.  Again, I said call your brother about it, I'm trying to work.

Instead of calling my brother, she calls his daughter at home and asks her about it.  Now they live 300 miles away and Niece #2 did not attend the event and knows nothing about anything – she's fourteen.

Niece #2 calls her dad at work and asks him about it.  He says of course he left a card with the money, he put it on the table at the brunch with all the other cards and it was in a blue envelope.  Niece #2 relays this info to my sister. 

Again my sister calls me at work and says they have gone through all the cards and all the trash and can't find the envelope.  She says, "I don't think he got her anything." Again, I say – "I'm at work, call your brother about this, I wasn't there, I don't know anything, but I know she got my card because I asked her about it after graduation, I'm trying to get some work done here, take it up with him.   I can't even believe you are questioning him about this."

That night my brother calls me at home, dumbfounded that my sister is carrying on about this and shocked that Niece #1 did not get the card he brought her.  I too am surprised about this, but think and say out loud how incredibly rude of her to be carrying on about this.  I can understand if the card got lost or mishandled, things happen, but she keeps saying, "I don't think he got her anything," and I know that he did.

The next day my brother calls me at work saying my sister has called him this morning saying, "We can't find your card; I don't think you got her anything." And then goes into this diatribe about all she did for his son at graduation.  She gave him $50 the same as I did.  

My brother is furious with her for questioning him about this matter and I am too.  I have never heard of anyone calling someone questioning them about their gift giving. We were certainly raised better than that – never to question someone's gift or lack of.  I know my brother had a card with $50 in it and I know he would never shortchange my niece or anyone else in our family.

For months my sister carries on about this.  I tell her how rude I think it is of her to keep mentioning this in every conversation and to just acknowledge the fact that the card was either stolen or lost at the brunch and to get over it and go on.  She keeps saying how important family is and she  would never  shortchange one of  our children.

The next graduation is for my niece #2 and my sister does not send anything, but does take the time to call her and tell her that she isn't sending her anything because my brother didn't get her daughter a gift.

Next graduation is for my sister's son, nephew #2 and again my brother and I each give $50.

Finally, my first daughter graduates last month.  She gets $50 from my brother and not even a card from my sister. Not a phone call, nothing.

My sister's birthday is today.  She called me a few days ago to remind me. 

Hmmmm, think she is expecting a gift from me????



Let me start out by saying that my sister and I are not close.  She has always been the prima donna, spoiled baby brat of our family.  Now that we are in our forties I think it is finally time she matured beyond "getting".  She is through her second divorce, both were really good men, she just can't live within their means, she won't work and she spends like the Last Coming is just around the corner.

She had two weddings, a huge one the second time around and a baby shower for each of her three children.  She has been a constant embarrassment to our parents with the "gimmes" all the time and would actually embarrass our friends and family at every opportunity with questions about why they didn't get her anything at whatever last event she had.

She has never reciprocated with any gifts to my brother's or my children's births.  She did attend my first daughter's shower with no gift, but did enjoy the party with a lot of wine.

I recently received an invitation from her for her new housewarming 300 miles away.  She actually has a gift register.

My parents died several years ago and my sister kept my mother's address book and from what I am hearing she has  mailed invitations to ALL of my parent's friends also. 

I honestly do not know how some people in this world have the brazen bad taste that she has.


I received this invitation in yesterday’s mail with each quoted line on a different page of this storybook type of invitation.  I didn’t really have a problem with it until I got to the end.  


“A long time ago In a kingdom called Memphis”

“Fiona was born on July 19th, 1957”

“In 2003 she started dating Shrek”

“On May 1st 2005 Shrek & Fiona got married”

“And now for Fiona’s 50th birthday”

“You are invited to a pizza party, 7pm Thursday July 19th at Pizza Palace (address etc)”

“The cost is $xx.xx per person (tax & gratuity) and it covers buffet, soft drinks, tea or coffee”

“RSVP etc, etc”

“For Fiona’s 50th birthday she received Wal-Mart gift cards, She and Shrek lived happily ever after”




 My niece's Bat Mitzvah was this past January.  Now, my husband couldn't make it, and a few days before my mum and I made the trip to New Jersey for said affair, DH asked me for the mailing address so he could send a card.  I gave him my niece's address.   So we go to the service, which was wonderful!  Later we were at the banquet facility, and I meet my niece in the ladies' room.  She proudly showed me the lovely pendant my husband had sent her!  THIS was why he asked for her address.  I was pleased that, although he did not attend, he had sent a gift to acknowledge the occasion.    

Fast forward a few months.  I was on the phone with my sister, and related to her that DH had done the same thing again:  He sent another lovely pendant to my mother for her birthday.  This was when my sister told me she was not pleased with the gift her BIL had sent to her daughter.  WHAT?  Why, I asked.  "A gift for a Bat Mitzvah is supposed to be expensive.  You're not supposed to give a $20-necklace!"    I have no intention of telling my husband about this horrid comment, though I was, for just a moment, tempted to ask him to forgo Bar Mitzvah gifts for her two younger sons.  The next child will be 13 in a year.  But no, that would be unfair to her sons.  After all, it's not their fault their mother is a clod.  I am also not telling her that the pendant actually cost in the neighborhood of $350; because that simply isn't the point, right?         



This is an email I got from a friend about 3 weeks after her $80,000 wedding. Now I have no problem bringing a dish but it’s just plain rude and tack to ask for presents for a 30 year old man. The only present someone needs at 30 is the time the guests took from their busy lives to attend and celebrate his birthday. Of course this person didn’t include any of our mutual friends who were not well off i.e. students, just those who she thought would give a fancy gift.


K, I realize this is the 3rd email I've sent, but I am trying to get this to reallllly work, I have changed the date to OCTOBER 20TH AT 7PM!! So, instead of 2 weeks to plan - that gives everyone almost a month to plan for this party....the details are the same and are below....but please let me know ASAP if you can (or can't) I can prepare for how much alcohol I need to get....THANKS AGAIN....

K, guys, October 9th is Bob's BIG 3-0!!! and I want to do something SUPER special for him WITH all of you!! We are really financially strapped right now, so he seriously and honestly thinks that he's not even going to get a gift!!! :o(

So...this is where you all come in....I want to have a surprise party at my parents' place - it would be Saturday, October 20TH AT 7PM...  The way I am going to try and get it pulled off is to say we're going there for dinner (instead of the usual Sunday 'cause they're not going to be around Sunday'....) and then when we get there, you all will already be there! Then I was also going to ask if each of you could bring a dish - like one of our potluck dinners- and I will supply the booze, cake and decorations....

This would mean the WORLD to him you guys - and I REALLY mean that, and I really want and need to pull this off.  So, PLEASE let me know what you can do (or can't ;o() to help me!!!

He's constantly mentioning how much we miss all of, I KNOW it would mean so much to have you guys there....

And of course, you know what kind of things he likes (movies, games, movies, games, did I mention movies and games?? cards...) and God knows presents would be appreciated (since like I said, we have NO money)....

Anyway, I am also going to try and call some of you about this....

Thanks and we love you guys SO much...remember - DO NOT tell BOB!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!!!!

XOXOXO ~Jenny~

PS - please send this on to anyone that I DON'T have included in this email!!!! And don't forget to get back to me!!!!!!!


My self-centered friend who seems to truly think the world revolves around her also stars in this short-but-bitter anecdote.   I lived with this friend for a while as her boarder. My boyfriend had come over to spend the evening with me. and the question of dinner for the three of us came up. We discussed getting pizza from a pricey nearby pizza store, but I didn't have enough money to pay for my share. She told me that my boyfriend could go out and pick some up for her and him, and I could eat leftovers from the fridge.   Ummm.. no, my boyfriend is not going to go and get you a pizza (because he would never dream of getting himself a pizza if I couldn't also have one!)   She answered the phone and started talking, so my BF and I decided to go and get some Wendy's which I could afford, figuring she could get her own pizza. When we returned we got an extremely indignant lecture about how *she* wanted some Wendy's too and how dare we not wait until she was off the phone to ask if we could run around after her, despite both places being 5 minutes away and her having a perfectly functional car. Guess leftovers weren't good enough for her.


It would have been gracious to ask her if she wanted anything from Wendy's since you three had already discussed getting dinner together.  The irony is that while your friend suggested the idea of leaving you out of the pizza dinner plan, you and your BF actually executed the plan which makes you more rude.

I received this email from a casual acquaintance, and was pretty surprised at the content:   

"Hello all, Hope this email finds you well.  B's b-day is coming up Dec. 1st and we've decided to get him an XBox 360 to go along with the new TV purchase of late (see attached).  If you'd like to contribute to the cause and donate some funds to this birthday present, it would be greatly appreciated.  Here's my mailing address for unmarked envelops, or if you're in town, you can slip me a check or cash sometime on the sly.  P.S.  For you local folks (and non-local - invitation's always open for a visit!), we'll probably have an informal get-together that Saturday to play some games! More details to follow. :) "




I belong to a fan club for a now-defunct TV show.  When the club began a decade ago, we communicated primarily through an internet Message Board.

One of the regulars to the board was a girl named “Cheryl”.  Cheryl had apparently been in a car accident long before any of us knew her, and walked with a slight limp.  It’s a shame that happened to her, but the amount of times she used her disability as an excuse for special treatment was appalling.  It got on my nerves especially because my best friend was also in a car accident, and it left her in a wheelchair.  But if anyone even implies that she needs special treatment or help with things, she gets very offended.  Cheryl, however, saw her limp as a meal ticket.

A cast member from the TV show starred in a movie, and one of our group members offered to give away a poster that prominently featured him.  Two people – Cheryl and “Mandy” – were both big fans of this cast member, and they both really wanted the poster.  Cheryl’s reason for why it should go to her?  “I was in a car accident, so I deserve it more.”  That’s an exact quote!  Remember, this accident had happened years before, so it’s not like she wanted to be cheered up while she was bedridden and recovering.  The poster went to Mandy.

Since our group had become rather sizeable, we decided to hold a formal convention in City A.  People were planning to attend from all around the U.S. and Canada, and one person was even flying in from England for it.  It was a big expense for a lot of us (most of us were in our early 20s and didn’t have a lot of money), but we scrimped and saved to afford our plane tickets and other expenses.

Cheryl lived in City B, which is less than 100 miles from City A.  Her journey would have been, at most, a 3-hour bus ride.  However, she saw fit to post on the Message Board, “Hey, can we take up a collection for my bus ticket?”  We thought she was joking and ignored it - until she posted again a couple of weeks later with the same request.  “I really want to go, but I just can’t afford it, so if anyone could please send me money …” Obviously, those of us who were saving up for cross-continent or transatlantic flights were less than impressed with her begging.  She didn’t attend the convention that year, or any other year (despite pleading for money at least one other time).

A small group of fan club members (including myself) still gets together every year in City A for a long weekend of hanging out and having fun.  Needless to say, Cheryl is not among us.



This is about my fiancés SIL, J.   First, my fiancé has four siblings and J is married to the youngest brother.  Said brother was turning 30 and J wanted to get him an expensive laptop computer.  J sent an email to my fiancé, her other siblings and her parents stating her intention and informing us that she had found the perfect computer for him.  All we had to do was to each send a check for $200 to her mother's house made out to her and she would order the computer as a gift from all of us.   Fiancé politely replied that, while the big three oh is certainly a landmark birthday, with five siblings no one in their family exchanges more than cards for birthdays.  She didn't mention that she had turned 30 five years earlier and had not even received a card from her youngest brother.  (My fiancé kept me out of ehell by NOT letting me send her brother an Etch-a-Sketch as an alternative present to the laptop!)   

More recently J's 30th birthday was coming up and she decided to go all out with a big party.  She booked space on a local "booze cruise" (for those are not familiar with the term, basically a ship that cruises in circles in the harbor serving liquor and buffet style food with two or three live bands and dance floors on different levels of the ship).  She sent us an invitation giving us the time and date and letting us know that it would cost us $160 per person to attend and we should get her half the money no later than a month before as she needs to have a final head count by then.   Fiancé decided not to even bother responding to that one.  The kicker is that the other sibs also received this invite even though they live from 4 hours to 12 hours away.   Mind you, I like J and I truly do not think she was inviting people just to get presents so this might not be a gimme but she certainly is a bit thoughtless at times.



My former co-worker “Tina” had two small children and was living with her unemployed boyfriend, the father of her youngest, in tiny studio apartment.  He was from Mexico and arranged to have his mother leave there and come here to California to live with them.  I won’t speculate on the legality of his mother’s immigration, only that she arrived at Tina’s home with only the clothes on her back.   Tina asked me if I had any old clothes and shoes that I would donate so that her MIL had something to wear while she settled in and looked for work.  Tina could not afford to buy her anything and it was a desperate situation.  Being approximately the same size as the MIL, which is why Tina had approached me, I offered her several bags of clothing that I had stored in my garage, and she asked me to bring them to her ASAP.   When I brought in the bags of clothing, I warned Tina that they were not as clean as they could be.  They were good quality clothes, but they had been stored in my garage for quite some time and apparently not well-wrapped.  Some of the items were dusty and some had cat hair on them.  I told her several times that the first thing she’d have to do is wash them.  I didn’t feel right about bring her dusty clothing, but there was a great need, she was in a hurry for it and said she didn’t mind at all.   Within days, Tina started making snarky comments about the clothes I had given her.  She told several co-workers that I must be a pretty sloppy housekeeper based on the condition of those clothes.  She never gave me any feedback on whether her MIL could use the stuff, so when I finally asked her how everything fit, she told me that they fit fine, but God were they dirty!  Yes, we covered that… and you’re welcome.  



This is a story about my uncle and his lovely (and I use that term loosely) wife.   These relatives have three children, who are pretty decent kids.  I love hanging out with them and so does my brother so we take the kids to a lot of fun places.  Now we always pay for these children, not once have we been reimbursed for an outing or even invited out for supper.  Whatever, I get over it.  That is just house these people are.  They like to play that we are so poor you have to do everything for me and I don't have to do anything for you.  It really isn't my uncles fault, he is the baby of the family and has been very spoiled. 

Now comes the story for EHell.  They had asked me if my brother and I could take them to this family amusement park.  I told them yes but I also told them I wasn't going to pay because it was very expensive and my understanding was if they asked me to take them then they should have to pay for themselves because I wasn't asking them to go.   Well we get to the park and find out that my one cousin has a friend with her, well it would have been nice to be told about this but whatever.  So we all go up to pay, my brother and I have to pay for ourselves of course but we are not going to be paying for the kids.  We have this coupon that gives us entrance fee,  pizza, tokens and pop all for one price and me and my brother were going to pay our share and my aunt was going to pay for her kids and the extra kid.   Well when we got to the front the lady at the cashier told us that there is a special going on and the entrance fee was only $9.00 or something like that.  Well it would be cheaper for us to get that and then buy food separate.  So that is what we do.  Well my aunt leaves and I ask the kids if they have any money for food, which they don't.  The friend have $5.00 but she buys ice cream with it.  So it is lunch time and all the kids are hungry and of course my brother and I end up buying them food and tokens to play the games.  I just can't believe the nerve of some people!



One of the ladies of our church is expecting a baby and we received the following in an email.  Names have been changed to protect the greedy!


I was just thinking that maybe you all could get together and plan a “Tish” Shower! I figured this is what we should do because for the most part I have everything I need for "Cricket" (who still does not have a name) so what about me!!! Just let me know the time and place where you want me to show up.

Hugs and kisses!


Now, she already has all she needs for her baby but she wants everyone else to pamper her…I guess for getting pregnant. 


I get invited to several pay your own way birthday parties every year and I'm always amazed.  However, this one takes the cake.  A friend of mine was having a 30th birthday party.  She decided to have her party on a boat on a popular lake in the city we live and sent out an Evite (online, no paper copy) to at least 50 people, possibly 75 or more.  Included in the Evite was a link to Paypal so you could pay your "entrance" fee right then and there, which she encouraged every guest to do.  I think it was around $20 to attend.  She sent out reminder emails over the next couple of months reminding people to pay if they hadn't already done so.  Once the party began, the birthday girl showed up and the first thing out of her mouth was, "If you haven't paid me already, please do now."  


I'm going to keep this short.   A woman is about to turn thirty and has decided to throw a major birthday party for herself.  The invitations went out eight months in advance giving the time and date along with the amount each guest is expected to pay (over $100 per person - includes buffet dinner and live entertainment, cash bar), the RSVP date and the latest date to get your deposit in.   Did I also mention the invites went out to people in multiple states, some over six hours drive away (a block of rooms have been reserved for out of state guests...the invites included the hotel contact info so you can book your room early!).   We politely declined to attend but will send a nice card.  At last count two people had responded that they would attend.   I actually like this woman and I don't think she is making a play for presents .  I think she is just clueless and will probably be very surprised and hurt that most people aren't willing to fork over big bucks to join her on her "special" day.   Hey, at least it wasn't one of those "ninja" parties where you don't find out that you have to pay your own way until you are already there!


Page Last Updated September 18, 2008