Jul-Dec 2000 Archive
We love our friends, we help them out, if they
need it we are here. At a wedding..you get gifts, sometimes people don't have much
to give but they do. The wedding was beautiful, outdoors in the park, it went well. The
dance was great! The toast was proper, BUT then came the speech from the groom's father...
He went on and on about the lovely bride and groom how much the family loved her and
their perfect for one another. Then he PASSED HIS HAT around for a "little
something" for the couple as they begin their life. Then they still had a dollar
dance! I thought "NO WAY!" Now, that is pretty tacky!!!
At my cousin's wedding (let's call her Cindy), her
new husband stood up to make a toast. At the end of his speech, he began thanking
everyone. The most interesting "thank you" was for Cindy's parents. He said to
them, in front of hundreds of guests, "And I'd like to thank Cindy's parents for
being horny on the night Cindy was conceived." Needless to say, Cindy's parents and
Cindy herself were mortified. ttoasts1109-00
Some time ago I was at a wedding where the best
man, when asked to make a toast, said the following (I delete the rough language):
"The bride and groom met at a swim party. When the groom walked out of the pool,
he didn't realize there was a rip in his bathing shorts. The bride took one look at what
was in his shorts, and boy, did she like what she saw!"
I'll let you imagine the gasps of disgust from the whole room and the bright shade of
red on the bride's face. I thought she would cry, and I thought the groom was going to
punch out his best man right then and there.
Fortunately, the couple has been happily married for several years. No word on whether
they're still speaking to the worst - er, best - man. ttoast1229-00