Gimme
Gimme
1999
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I am a wedding coordinator. I was recently approached by a bride who is
seeking a corporate sponsor for her wedding, so that she can have the
wedding of her dreams. Her parents are unable to help as much as she would
like and she is between jobs, but cutting back on her ideas isn't an
option at this point.
Gimmie0106-03
It was about 2 years ago now. My husband's cousin was getting married.
He nor his bride to be were fond of holding steady jobs, so they didn't
have much money. This didn't stop them from trying to throw an all out
wedding celebration. Since they do not have many friends, he asked my
husband to be the best man. They had grown up together and used to be
close, but have drifted apart over the years. He graciously accepted,
thinking it was the least he could do for his own family. He went through
the motions - rented the tuxedo and was informed that the bride's sister (MOH)
wanted to throw a "Jack and Jill" shower for the happy couple.
Instead of buying gifts, we were to purchase tickets to the event for
$17/pp. This would cover food and also contribute to the 'gift'. We
happily obliged figuring that we got off easy. Woops, being that my
husband was part of the wedding party, he should split the cost of the
hall for the 'shower'. This was $150. Still, not a tragedy. We got our
invitation and noticed that the response was not stamped. At Thanksgiving
dinner, the bride informed us that she knew we were coming, so she didn't
want to waste the stamp.
Fast forward to the wedding, which of course, included a dollar dance -
afterward, the groom sat at the head table and counted his money. We gave
them a cash gift and happily went on our way, thanking God that the whole
event was over. The bride proceeded to take the next 3 months off so she
could 'relax' after the wedding. Months went by and we often wondered if
our Thank you got lost in the mail. We had seen the couple at family
functions and nothing was ever mentioned. We would have thought that by
having 3 months off to relax, the bride would have plenty of time to write
out Thank you cards, after all, there were only about 75 people at the
wedding, not hundreds, but no. I've always heard that etiquette says you
have up to one year to send Thank You cards... ok, I accept that, but
never knew anyone to ever take that long. Low and behold, one week before
their first anniversary we received a Thank You card... the kind you get
from CVS in a pack of 8 with some hokey pre printed Thank you sentiment.
The card was not personally addressed to us, nor did it have a personal
note. At the bottom was only - Love, M&J. I have never been so
appalled. My husband accepted all of his duties as Best Man, bit his
tongue and smiled throughout the whole event and not even a personal note!
I guess we're supposed to be flattered that they sprung for the stamp!
Gimmie0122-03
My next-door-neighbor decided he was in love. Not only in love, but in
love with a girl I had known for years, whose parents I had been friends
with for years. We'll call her Lori. Lori and her intended were very
happy, but very poor. She and "Dick" worked for the same company
and both lost their jobs a couple of months before the wedding when the
company went under. Ignoring the fact that they had no savings and nothing
to live on Lori proceeded to put a deposit on a 900.00 wedding gown and
registered for fine china, crystal and silver at one of areas finer dept.
stores. (Mind you, these two were living in a cracker-box of a house,
eating from paper and plastic plates and didn't even own two matching
drinking glasses.)
Two days before the wedding, Lori came crying to me that she had no
dress to wear for her wedding. Her mother offered her the use of her
dress, but the mother is much larger than the daughter and Lori simply
swam in the dress. There was no way to make it right. So, sucker that I
am, I offered her the use of my gown, which I had had cleaned and neatly
boxed after my wedding. I told her how important my gown was to me and she
promised to take care of it. (You can see this one coming, can't
you).
Forward to the wedding. It is beautiful. The groom looks handsome in
his tux, the bride is elegant in my dress. Everything goes off without a
hitch. Then off to the reception at the home of the bride and groom.
Everyone is having a good time and Lori has a couple of beers. They open
presents, she comments on each one. Mostly the usual "how nice"
type thing. Until she opens one gift, stares at it, then pronounces
loudly, "Well, there's one for the yard sale!" I'm sure the
giver was aghast, as were the rest of the guests.
From there she proceeded to get drunk. She kept tripping over the long
ribbons on the dress (she's shorter than I am), so I suggested that it
might be more convenient if she changed into something that was easier for
her to get around in. She stared at me blankly then took off. A few feet
away she tripped again, reached around, grabbed the offending ribbons and
ripped them off. She had another beer. I had another try at getting her
out of my dress. She lit a cigarette and flicked the ashes onto the lace,
tiny holes began to appear. I finally appealed to the groom to save my
dress and went home. I couldn't bear to watch. The dress was returned the
next day, smelling to beer. I did what I could, had it cleaned and
returned it to its box. Maybe it was a portent of things to come. The
marriage broke up after a few weeks. My husband left me and moved to the
other side of the country a few months later. (Our kids were cramping his
style.) She and he are now married. May they live happily ever after. If I
had thought of it, I could have sent them the dress to use....one more
time.
Gimmie0129-03
My sister was getting married for the second time. My dad threw her a
beautiful wedding the first time, but was not going to do it again. It all
started when my sister kept calling the house to demand that my
grandmother give her her inheritance. My grandmother asked her why and my
sister just said, "I need it, I want my $15,000". My grandmother
told her no and that the inheritance was to be divided between me and my
sister after she passed away and after the funeral expenses were taken
care of. My sister still did not want to hear it. She said, "what
expenses? You already bought your plot when grandpa died". She called
3 times a day to hassle my grandmother. She did this for about a
month.
Finally my grandmother gave in and gave my sister her inheritance. I
guess my grandmother felt that sending my sister a check for $15,000 was
well worth not having to hear her nag everyday. A few months later, my
sister announced her wedding date. Kind of ironic? We were not excited
about this wedding at all because we do not particularly care for her
husband. When she announced that his sister was MOH, my mother threw a fit
and told her that if she did not make me (her sister) MOH, then she
shouldn't plan on seeing anyone from our side of the family at her
wedding. So, I then became the MOH. The wedding was absolutely beautiful,
the food was great, and everyone had a good time. My parents were staying
at her house to baby-sit the kids while they went on their
honeymoon.
In that time, my mother also stumbled across papers and receipts of the
wedding costs which came to $15,000! My mom and my dad did not give my
sister and her new husband cash in an envelope. Instead they bought them a
beautiful Armani statue of a bride and groom. My father searched for the
piece to make sure that even the hair color matched that of my sister and
her husband. When my sister returned from her honeymoon she yelled at my
mother that she doesn't like Armani and that she collects Swavorski
Crystal. My mom explained that Armani is also a collectable and in years
to come that statue would be worth much more than her crappy crystal. She
then told my mother, "I WANTED CASH". My mom was shocked and
could not believe that this ungrateful person standing in front of her
came from her womb.
After this incident, the relationship between my parents and my sister
weakened. Also, when my grandmother passed on, she left the funeral early
because she had to meet her husband and the kids who were on vacation.
Needless to say, I suppose it would have been a tragedy if their vacation
dare be interrupted by our grandmother's funeral. Also, the expenses were
costly and when it was all taken care of, there wasn't anything left for
me. Technically there was $15,000 which should have been divided, but my
sister had already spent it on her wedding.
Gimmie0206-03
While this won't make it onto your website as the listing will be long
gone in a short while, thought you might be interested in seeing this
creative scheme to raise funding for a wedding. I suppose she could be
commended for offering some trinket, though dubious in value, for the
donation but it's quite a stretch. http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2909581026&category=1468
Gimmie0206-03
It is no secret that I am not popular with my in-laws. I am quite
outspoken. I see it as a trade off.
With that said, though I commit a lot of verbal faux pas, my sister
and brother in law seem to have made the mother of all wedding faux
pas. Perhaps not the worst this site has seen, but for a group of
people so willing to criticize me, they should be more mindful.
A little background: my husband D. and I have been together for six years
now, living together for almost five-and-a-half years (we wed on my
birthday, November 11th 2001). My brother in law, E., and his now wife K.
have been together about four or five years (they married the January
following our wedding). When D. and I announced our wedding plans (two
years ahead of time), I decided to have K. as my MOH. While dress shopping
with me, she said she wanted to be married the January after us. I
was not thrilled with this, since K. and E. seem to get a bulk of the
attention from my in-laws and I just did not want my wedding to be
overshadowed (and it still was). Reigning
and ruling over the calendar is a bridal no-no!
My wedding to D. would be a small affair as I have no family and my MIL
and FIL are divorced and my FIL and SMIL aren't very generous with us and
it was unfair to ask anything of my MIL (who paid for our wedding mostly,
anyway). So everything is going fine. Then, suddenly in September, K. gets
pregnant.
What makes this interesting is that she was on birth control and is, shall
we say, medically paranoid. She said she did not know antibiotics caused
the pill to fail. I find this hard to believe because we go to the same
OB-GYN who tells me every year when he rewrites my RX that antibiotics
make the pill fail. Fine. Another odd thing is that she knew a couple
weeks into it, as if she had been waiting. Fine.
So now they are getting married the January after us (surprise surprise).
Her parents are throwing this insanely huge shotgun bash complete with
over 200 guests blah blah blah. On the invites they mentioned the
pregnancy. Now it was my understanding having to get married
(or at least having to move their wedding plans up almost two years) was
not something to be proud over. But the way her family was reacting, you
would have thought she won the lottery. I guess in their eyes she had
since E. made well over 60k right out of college and K. always wanted to
be a housewife.
Now, like I said, she is my MOH. In her wedding, there are parts for
everything. I did not get one. Not a reading, not a candle, nothing. They
even made my husband an usher and not best man (D. was E.'s best man, I
understand it was their wedding, but he choose some friend over his own
brother...)
So her plans are running over mine like mad, they said, out of respect,
they would keep things quiet, but it seems it wasn't overshadowing our
wedding they were worried about.
On November 18th, they eloped, so K. could get insurance. They kept that a
secret only the immediate family knew about. It was a secret because K.
had a wedding shower with more then 100 women there and that huge wedding.
They collected enough gifts to help buy a house, all the while, never
telling anyone when K. walked down the isle with her myriad bridesmaids to
her Rabbi and Priest, they were already married.
Gimmie0208-03
This is the opposite of the Gimme stories. When my husband and I were
married ten years ago we started out with very little. I had lived on my
own for a with mismatched items. My husband had just moved out of his
parent's house and had nothing but his clothes and computer. We didn't
register anywhere but we did mention that we would enjoy some matched
sheets and some matched dinnerware. His grandparents gave us his
great-grandmothers old sheets and towels and some old dishes from her
house. We were supposed to be grateful for this! I'm not talking beautiful
ornate items either but plain, old, used sheets!
Gimmie0212-03
Ok, I'm not really sure where this story will fit on you site, but it
needs to be told. I have a story of how not to behave toward those helping
out with your wedding. I recently got married and at the time there were
several other people I worked with who were also getting married. This
resulted in many wedding comparisons at work. There was one girl who was
getting married two months after my husband and I did. She asked me if she
could purchase some of our leftover wedding supplies to help cut her
costs. These items included about fifty yards of tulle, silk flowers,
ribbons, candles, and she also asked if she could borrow my crinoline. She
was having trouble finding a crinoline in her size. I had bought one for
my wedding and was planning on selling it anyway but I agreed to rent it
to her, since her and I are the same size. We set a price for the
crinoline and the rest of the items. I brought all these items to her
house and was told that she would bring me a check the next time we worked
together. Weeks go by and I still haven't received payment.
Then comes the invitations. She claims that she can't invite very many
people from work so I don't get an invitation. Not a big deal for me
because I never considered myself to be very close to her but then I find
out she invited fifty people from work. I also thought it would be the
least she could do since she still hasn't paid me for my things. Her
wedding date comes closer. My wedding pictures are in so I bring them in
to show to some coworkers. She is looking at them with another person and
I walk away for a few moments. As I'm leaving, I overhear her say that I
looked fat in my dress. This hurt my feelings a lot because I had lost a
significant amount before my wedding and even had to have the dress
brought in a little. I decide to blow it off, thinking that she's probably
having a bad day and knowing how it is to be a stressed out bride.
A week later, just a few days before her wedding, I bring her a card
and a cash gift of $20 from my husband and I. I thought this would be
helpful for her and her future husband because they are both students and
she has been saying how hard it's been for them to pay for the wedding and
such. I still haven't received payment from her for all the things I gave
her. Her wedding comes and goes, she comes back to work and brings me a
box filled with my flowers and my crinoline and nothing else. "Oh, we
used the rest of the stuff but I decided to bring you this stuff back
because I decided I don't want to pay you," she says as she hands it
back to me. Then she starts to gush about her wedding and reception with
the sit down dinner for 250 people that her parents paid for and the new
house that her husband and her just built. Funny, she could afford all
those things but not pay me $100 we agreed to for about $300 of
merchandise.
Gimmie0212-03
We had our local Wedding from Hell in September 2001. A local
jewelry store gives away a free wedding each year as part of an annual
wedding show that they sponsor. The winning bride was 33, this was her 3rd
marriage. She had sons aged 14, 12, and 7. This was the groom's second
marriage and he had a 4 year old daughter. As part of the rules of the
wedding, it must be held on the last Saturday in September at the location
of the couple's choice. Everything is provided for 100 guests except the
location, tables, chairs, linens if needed. That way, the couple can
personalize the event by choosing a favorite location or having the
wedding in a back yard, etc.
This bride was hard to work with from the beginning. She didn't like
the food being provided, but she didn't want to pay to add to it. She
complained about the cake. She got mad at the limousine company because
they refused to provide an additional hour at no charge. It reached the
point that they withdrew and gave her money. The couple had purchased
their rings at the jewelry store before the contest, so they were given a
refund, making the rings free and giving them more than enough money to
cover the cost of renting a facility and any additional items that they
might need or want. Instead, they used the money to make the down payment
on a new car, leaving them with nothing to cover any additional wedding
costs. The photographer who was donating his services owned a large
Victorian home with a big yard, so he also donated the use of it, leaving
the bride and groom responsible only for tables, chairs, and linens.
Two weeks before the wedding the bride called and said that the
caterer, from whom she was getting the tables, chairs, and linens, had
sent a bill for $425 and the groom told her to cancel the items. I
reminded her that she needed those things if she expected her guests to
have a place to sit or to eat. She said that he refused to pay for
anything, so the items were cancelled. At the rehearsal, the groom's
sister arrived, saying that her brother was in a foul mood. The bride said
she would take care of that. It turns out that the groom never wanted a
wedding. He simply wanted to get married quietly. However, the bride had
never had a wedding and figured this was her last chance to be Cinderella.
(The gown she chose even looked like Cinderella's ball gown.) She took him
out behind the hedge and proceeded to scream at him loudly enough that
everyone in the area could hear. Naturally, he gave in and the rehearsal
went on as planned, though only about half of the wedding party
attended.
On the wedding day, everything went wrong that could. The couple
continued to argue throughout the day. The groom's father arrived with a
pick-up load of chairs and tables that he had secured from a church and he
and the groom set them up. The bride was late arriving from her hair
appointment, so they had less than 30 minutes for photos. The soloist left
her music at home and had to go back for it, arriving just before the
ceremony started.
After the ceremony, during the quick reception, the groom's mother and
the matron of honor went to the trash and retrieved the boxes (long,
narrow plastic ones) in which the florist had delivered the flowers. They
started removing food from the buffet in a furtive manner when the
catering staff wasn't looking. The DJ informed the caterer of what they
were doing and my daughter informed them of the state health regulations
that prohibit keeping certain types of food that have been setting at room
temperature. They continued to take as much food as the containers would
hold, then someone obtained a cooler and they placed more food in
it.
This wedding occurred two weeks after Sept. 11. One of the things that
the couple won was a 3 night 4 day trip to Disneyland for their honeymoon.
As part of the package, they had to stay over on a Saturday night. The
groom made the travel arrangements. Because he didn't want a wedding to
begin with, he arranged for a 4:30 flight on the day of the wedding, a
Saturday. The ceremony was originally scheduled for 3 p.m. and the
invitations were printed with that time. The bride countered by bumping up
the ceremony to 1 p.m. To everyone's relief, they had to leave the wedding
shortly after 2:30 to get to the airport and clear security. Would you
believe that they are still married. The bride has difficulty holding a
job (wonder why), so she has been visiting the jewelry store a couple of
times a week insisting that they give her a job. This situation was enough
to cause the jewelry store and their attorney to tighten some of the
regulations concerning the free wedding. Fortunately, other winners have
been much more grateful.
Gimmie0210-03
A couple of years ago, my younger brother was getting married for a
second time. He and his bride-to-be, Carrie, worked hard for several
months to have a nice wedding. Well, about two weeks before the wedding I
was shocked to receive a computer flyer from Carrie's mother. It seems the
Maid of Honor, the bride's sister, didn't have time for a bridal shower
(she'd had months of time) but that since Carrie really deserved one (she
did, she's a real sweet person) they were going to set up an extra table
at the wedding reception, where we could leave shower gifts. I was
shocked! I called my other sister-in-law to see if she had received the
flyer. She had. We were actually supposed to bring two gifts to the
wedding! Which I did for Carrie's sake, but I still thought it was poor
taste.
Gimmie0223-03
My great friend from business school and her husband chose to get
married in a country in Europe where she is from. So this story started
with a $700 airfare... no big problem as I would have had to fly across
the country if she had been married where they live anyway. I was asked to
be something called the master of ceremonies - not just the public
speaking role that it is in the US, but in that country it means doing
much much more. In essence, I was an unpaid wedding planner. I had to
arrive a few days early, help do the seating charts, write every place
card, and help organize the flowers, get all the details of the reception
so I could oversee everything. And then on the day, I was expected to do
all sorts of things such as put out the place cards, check over the
reception venue to make sure the flowers were just so, move the crowd from
the cocktails to the seated area, try to tie the busy bride and groom down
on a song to dance to (they never chose and the band, with a poor grasp of
English, chose a sweet, slow song - the words.... "Are we really
happy here in this lonely game we play" - Masquerade. Oops!), start
the speeches and give one of them - it was a lot of work, but pretty
fun.
What peeved me though is that the MOH was put up at their expense in
the nice hotel that everyone except me was at. I was earning very little
(read: nothing - I had just started as a freelance writer) at the time.
They knew that I had booked a cheap flop house in town and never offered
to pay for a hotel room for me - despite the $700 airfare and the days of
unpaid labor that meant I needed more nights there than anyone else - to
add some context, the bride and groom's earned about $350,000/year between
them at the time and bride has a $3 million trust that an aunt left for
her - they are not hurting for cash.
Then came the gift. The bride had picked a china that is $350 a
setting. I could afford one small plate at my $80 - $100 budget. Bride
then suggested I buy a tablecloth ($250!) and I said no, I wanted
something tangible that would last. The MOH and I finally decided to give
some very expensive crystal - gorgeous stuff that's $40- $50 a glass - it
was what they chose and we figured we could afford two glasses each - and
who needs more than four cut crystal brandy snifters anyway? So when the
bride finally (8 months after wedding) chose the crystal design she
wanted, I mentioned that MOH and I had order them the four snifters.
Bridezilla had the nerve to reply "Oh, that's not much. Perhaps you
can get us matching lowball glasses too." We're still friends, but it
irks me to this day that someone with so much can be so unaware of how
greedy she sounded.
Gimmie0406-03
A cousin of mine with whom I never have been close -- no personal
issues, really, our families really just never interacted very much -- met
her hubby to be in Paris in September 2000, was pregnant by November and
married at City Hall in early December. (In between, the dear did find the
spare time to register with numerous high-end NYC stores and at least six
national chains.) These li'l details were disclosed to only a select few
of us who began receiving invitations to the couple's "Engagement
Party" on December 16th, Bridal Shower on January 27, 2001,
"Wedding" on February 16th, Baby Shower on May 12th and baby's
Christening bash on August 11th.
I managed to get off the gravy train before their Anniversary
Party, the invitations for each of which contained the helpful hint that
they had "updated" their registries at certain retailers. While
I don't begrudge a first baby all the gifts and provisions in the world, I
have a real problem with adults who have maintained their own households
for decades using their marriage as the basis for a series of appliance
upgrades. Fast forward when two other cousins got pregnant in 2001/2: my
tacky cousin never showed up for any of their showers and failed to even
send gifts. The only hope I hold out for her poor daughter is that her dad
seemed on various occasions a little embarrassed by all the largesse!
Gimmie0430-03
I am a student, working on an incredibly grueling program that leaves
very, very little time for much of anything during the school year. (this
becomes relevant in about 2 minutes.)
Several months ago, I was invited to the wedding of my friend,
"Evan". Evan is supposed to be a groomsman in my upcoming
wedding, and he is important to me, so I was determined to attend the
event. Just a couple of weeks earlier, I was a participant in another
wedding, in another state. Both of these weddings took place smack in the
middle of a school semester, when my time is *extremely* limited. However,
I was determined to attend both weddings to support my friends in their
newly married state.
The first wedding went off without any problems. However, the second
wedding was getting to be tight on time. I *truly* did not have the time
to attend but it was clearly important to my friend that I do so. About a
month before the event I ask Evan what he would like as a gift, since I
had not heard of any registry being set up. He tells me that all they
really want is cash, "to make up for what we are going to be spending
on the wedding". All I can think of (but don't say) is "You
aren't spending anything on the wedding-- her parents are paying for
it." But I just say okay, because really, I have no problems with
people who would prefer cash vs. merchandise. I just found it a bit
off-putting that he would gauge what he and his new bride
"should" be getting based on something they aren't paying for in
the first place. Whatever, it's not my milky way.
When I had received the invitation, I read it carefully. At NO time did
it mention anything about the wedding being formal. So I went out and
bought a new dress to wear to the wedding. It was very pretty, but it was
by no means a formal gown. Six days before the wedding, I just happened to
be talking to Evan and he casually mentions to me that the wedding is
formal! Oh boy. So much for my dress. Okay... No problem. I can handle
this. I explain that I have two formal gowns in my closet. In fact, one is
brand new. I tell him it is a red gown and ask him if that's a problem. He
says actually, it is. That since his intended is Chinese, that she will
change into a red gown at the reception. Okay. I can handle that. I also
have a black gown. Is that okay? "Well yeah, I guess so, but it's
really not black tie, so black isn't great..." I then spend the next
week FRANTICALLY trying to find a gown that will suit everyone concerned,
for a reasonable price, in the middle of a school semester that can only
be described as hell on earth. I am stealing time from every spare moment
to try to find something that he would deem appropriate. About 3 days
before the wedding, I find one that would be lovely, in a navy blue. The
problem is it's almost 300 dollars and I just didn't have it to spend that
week on a dress. Finally, I decide to put the blue gown on layaway for
another time, but that Evan is just going to have to content himself with
my black gown because if he had written something on the invitations about
it being formal or even *told* me, I would have been happy to have taken
care of this a month earlier.
So I go to the wedding as planned wearing the black gown. All seems to
go smoothly, though I must admit the bride's family did not seem all that
pleased at the event. The church was some distance from the reception
hall, and at the valet parking, I neglected to remove the card (in which I
had put a check) from the car. I didn't realize I had forgotten it until
some time later in the reception, when I immediately went to Evan and told
him I was terribly sorry, but I had forgotten his card in the car and
since I couldn't get the car back out just for the card, I would gladly
send it to him later. No problem. Or so I thought.
Immediately after the wedding, Evan and his new wife went to
Europe on their honeymoon. I spoke to him while he was there, and got
their mailing address for the card. I never sent it because I didn't want
to send a card with a check in to the house when I knew no one was going
to be at home to receive it, and I didn't know who, if anyone was picking
up their mail. I decide to wait on sending it out until I know that they
have returned from their trip. Right around then was when final exams hit.
Finals around here is like living in a tornado. I don't even find time to
do *laundry* until they are over, and they take precedence over every
other event during the couple of weeks they are going on. The card got
buried under my desk and to be honest I forgot about it for the duration
of finals.
Cut to: Right after final exams, my fiancé of three years and I decide
enough is enough and we are going to whip together a nice, fun celebration
for our wedding at the end of July. Since we have been buying here and
there various necessary items over the three years, it is not as bad as
one might think. I email Evan and ask if the wedding date we had chosen
would be a problem. I was fully prepared in case he simply could not
accommodate our schedule, as we understand that our friends have busy
lives of their own. What I was *not* prepared for was the response I got
to the email. Though he replied that the date was no problem, he proceeded
to basically accuse me of lying about *ever having wrote them a check*. He
went on to say "you should have just told us you were broke and left
it at that." I was horrified! I had *told* him what had happened to
the card, and I had told him the truth. When I (rightfully) laid into him
for what he had said, he began to furiously backpedal, stating that the
real problem was he never got the *card* (sure. that's exactly why he went
on for two paragraphs about the *check*), and that he was embarrassed
because he had told his new wife that a card would be coming. I replied to
him that I was sure he didn't marry a shallow, unintelligent woman and
that as such, I was certain that she perfectly understood that sometimes
things in life happen and things don't always work out exactly as we would
like (to deny that she had any other reaction by that point would have
meant that he was saying that she *was* a shallow, unintelligent woman.).
I told him at that point (still, I was quite angry) that I had the card,
still sealed in the original envelope, and would he like a webcam shot to
prove it? I stated I was putting it in a mailing envelope right now and I
would even include another check in case this one was too long past to be
cashed. Then I mailed it. Would anyone like to take bets on whether or not
they try to cash both checks?
Gimmie0609-03
Love the website - give us more updates!!! My husband and I have been
invited to a wedding of a couple we've been out with for dinner/dancing a
few times. They are nice people, and I was looking forward to browsing
through their wedding register online to select just the right gift to be
delivered to their home - convenient for me and for the couple. However, I
went to their wedding website to find their registry, and was confused
when the major department store registry had only three items - a $6 ice
cream scoop, a $99 silver candy dish, and a sheet set (price not included,
not available online). So, back to the wedding website to check out the
other "registry". It was called a "honeymoon registry"
and maybe you are familiar with this concept. Their registry contains a
few graphics and wording to the effect of "we are offering you an
alternative to the traditional wedding registry", and inviting you to
select any of the listed items from the couple's honeymoon trip registry.
You can select from a long list of items to help pay for the ten-day trip
to three separate islands in the South Pacific. You can pay for their
airfare, one (or more) night stay at each of the three resort hotels, an
eel feeding trip, a day of sightseeing, champagne at each location,
honeymoon breakfasts, lunches and dinners, shark feeding excursions, and
even drinks and relaxation on the beach... They have the whole trip
itinerary covered. Instructions on this website indicate that "if you
would like purchase a gift for them, please email (email address removed)
with the item number and quantity you would like to purchase. After
receiving your email indicating your interest, you will then receive an
email with the address for where to send the gift money. They (I assume
"they" is the wedding couple) will be notified via email."
I'm not sure what we'll do yet. I wasn't planning to send them cash, but
don't really see a way around that. That ice cream scoop would be such a
practical gift though..... ;)
Gimmie0519-03
I am a reporter for a small town newspaper, and we actually received a
press release inviting the media to cover a wedding shower as a newsworthy
event! The bride-to-be works in public relations, so maybe that's how this
horrible faux pas got started. It sounds like a joke, but it was sent to
the newspaper through the normal channels and appeared to be a legitimate
press release. The press release described the "distinctive wedding
shower ritual" that was said to be common in our small town: the
bride registers for gifts at local stores, and the store personnel deliver
them to the home of the hostess the day before the shower. (Amazing!) On
the day of the shower, invited guests (usually about 400, according to the
release) tour the hostess' home to view the gifts, which are tastefully
displayed in appropriate locations throughout the home.
The release also claimed that, in addition to the invited guests,
"folks who just want to participate" also buy gifts "for
couples they often have never met." The press release gave phone
numbers for the bride and her supervisor at the public relations firm and
invited media representatives to call if they wanted to cover the shower.
This bride is not a celebrity by any definition of the word; she's just
somebody marrying a local boy. Needless to say, we won't be sending a
reporter and photographer to cover this celebration of a giant ego.
Gimmie0505-03
A family I grew up with has 2 children - a guy & a girl. When the
guy got married about 10 years ago, we knew the family had etiquette
problems from the beginning. No one was invited to the wedding - it was a
private ceremony. But everyone was invited to the reception and asked to
bring a dish to pass! This summer when the girl got married, we should
have expected something interesting - well, we got it. First, the
invitations included a little slip of paper that read "Your presence
is enough of a present for us" (I've seen that part, but the next
part is what gets me) "If you wish to contribute to our future
happiness, a monetary gift would be appreciated. Gimmie0614-03
This couple (we'll call them George and Martha) had at least 4 showers,
all of which my husband and I (or at least, our credit cards) were asked
to attend. But since George is one of my husband's friends from college,
we sucked it up, waved goodbye to a month's worth of carefree Saturday
afternoons and gave a generous gift for each shower (we never received any
thank-you notes).
Finally, the much-ballyhooed wedding day arrived. We bought a final
gift off their registry, glad to have that money drain over with. The
invitation announced that the formal ceremony at 5 p.m. would be
immediately followed by a reception with dancing. Except...no dinner at
the dinnertime reception. This would have been fine, had they warned us in
the invitation (e.g., "cocktail reception to follow"), but no
one gave us any heads-up and everyone had just assumed they’d serve
dinner at an evening reception. We, along with about 200 other ravenous
guests, had to try to make a meal out of cheese, crackers, and vegetable crudités
while the bride and groom swanned around, SNAPPING testily at
guests (apparently, the stress had gotten to them).
After the band announced the last dance, there was a mass exodus
to the nearest pizza parlor. The kicker: My husband and I got married
shortly after this. (I am proud to report that we did not snap at a single
guest.) George and Martha never gave us any gift. Not even a card. (But
then, perhaps they cannot read or write...this WOULD explain the continued
absence of thank-you notes.) And now, as their union approaches the
one-year mark, they spend their time wondering loudly and frequently what
we, their friends, will all do to celebrate their anniversary. And what
presents they'd like to get at their upcoming housewarming party. I feel a
re-gift coming on... Apparently, they have their own gravitation field and
the world revolves around them.
Gimmie0712-03
I was invited to a wedding shower, both the bride and the groom were
a bit older and had been married before and both have children. We were
surprised to find out they were even having a wedding shower, since they
were very established already and typically a wedding shower is to help a
young bride and groom get started. Anyway, we were even more shocked to
find they had registered for new bedding and room décor for their
children on their wedding registry! Everyone I spoke to about it was
appalled as well. Gimmie0723-03
It is now late July, 2003. "Bonnie" and "Clyde" are
coworkers of mine, who had been cohabiting for at least a year at the time
of their February 2003 wedding. I was invited to, and attended, the
bachelor party, and my wife and I were invited to, and attended the
wedding. It was a tasteful affair, but appeared to be a little more
extravagant than was warranted by the couple's means.
In any event, a couple of days ago, I announced to these, as well as a
couple of other coworkers that I had interviewed for a new job, which
would require me to move about 3000 miles away. Clyde said "Before
you go, I want my gift." I asked him what he was talking about. Clyde
said that they had never received a gift from us. I assured him that he
had. He insisted that they had matched a card to every gift they had
received, and that ours was missing. He then went on to tell me that he
had had his mother take a list of everyone that had not yet given a gift,
and ask them, at the reception, "The kids would like to know what you
gave them, because they want to be sure to thank you." This, he
explained, was not to obtain the information requested, since they had
positively identified all of the gifts, and their recipients, but to
remind anyone that had not yet given that they should do so.
I asked if they had registered at Target (a friend of mine had gotten
married the same month, and we had shopped for both couples at the same
time), as I was trying to recall exactly what we had purchased. He
laughed, and said "Oh no ... we registered at Bloomindales." I
told him that it was possible, since we were literally in the process of
moving at the time of their wedding, that their gift had gotten misplaced,
and was perhaps under my bed, or otherwise overlooked. He said "I
hope so, for your sake, because all that is left on the list is the really
expensive stuff." (Yes, they had registered for Waterford Crystal,
etc; their registry is worthy of another entry alone). I was utterly in
shock at this point (initially, I had thought him to be joking), and said
"Well, I can check my credit card statements and see if there are any
purchases from Bloomindales" (we normally don't shop there, so any
purchase would have been their gift). His Reply? "Yeah, do that; I
would like to see that."
Another employee, who sits by Bonnie, overheard part of the
conversation, and said that Clyde then went to Bonnie's desk, and told her
that "[He] told [Me] that [He] wanted [Their] gift before [I]
moved." Her response? "Yeaahhhh, that's right!" My sister
suggested that I purchase a gift for them, specifically "Miss Manners
Big Ass Book of Etiquette" ... perhaps a link to your site would
suffice :) Bonnie and Clyde had been living together for quite some time
prior to tying the knot; at least a year (much longer, I believe). Clyde
was previously married, and attended the bachelor party (splitting the
cost, to the tune of $150 out of pocket for myself). By various standards,
they should not have felt entitled to a gift; However, I am *certain* that
we gave anyway ... (But no longer care to confirm it; In fact, I hope that
I do find the gift overlooked at my home; maybe I can return it!)
gimmie0725-03
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